Do I lose weight for her?

[uni73]

So here's the story. A girl told me recently that she really loves my personality, but that my body turns her off so completely that she does not want a relationship. I asked her what I could do and she said that one of the biggest improvements will be to lose a lot of weight, although she added there are no promises that she will want me even if I do lose the weight. Fact: This girl is shallow and I know it, but I like her a lot and can't seem to tell her to f*** off. So my question is, do I lose weight in an attempt to win her, or what should I do? Thank you in advance.

[selfishstars]

It's very difficult to change yourself for someone else, nor should you, really.

I mean, a lot of people find their initial motivation to change themselves for other people, For example, I've known a number of girls who, after their boyfriend's broke up with them, decided they were going to lose weight and get "super hot" so that he'd regret breaking up with her and want her back. That said, if you want to lose weight, you should do it for yourself. It will be much more rewarding and will give you better motivation to start to lose weight, keep going, and keep the weight off after you've lost it.

I think there's a thin line between having preferences when it comes to what you're attracted to and being shallow. A lot of people aren't attracted to overweight people. But personally, if someone has a great personality, it makes me more attracted to them physically. I've found myself attracted to people of all shapes and sizes. I don't really care if someone is overweight, but do want to date someone who doesn't let their weight effect their self-esteem, or who is overweight because they don't like being active (I want to date someone who would like to go for a walk, hike, or bike ride with me),

I would be wary about trying to lose weight for a girl like this. She outright told you that 1) she's not attracted to you because of your weight --- what if you lose weight, she starts dating you, but in the future you gain weight again? Will she end your relationship? and 2) She said there's no promises that she'll date you if you lose weight anyway --- this is a further reason why you should lose weight for yourself and not for her (that is, if you actually want to lose weight).

[uni73]

Great answer, thank you

[mikkie180]

That is a great answer.

[Seraphine]

Um? So...what the f***? She's telling you what to do now? WTF, why do you even want to get with a girl like that? Your relationship is SCREWED before it even began. Girls like that are very insecure and change their minds constantly, so even if you did get with her, who knows if she'll want to stay or dump you a week later, seeing as she said "MAYBE I'll get with you if you lose weight." What the hell...you want to lose weight, lose it, but do it for yourself NOT for her.

[jakegest]

I'll be blunt:

1) Loose the weight

2) Date someone else.

You should loose the weight for yourself because you'll feel better, be healthier and live longer, and yes be more attractive.

You probably shouldn't do it for her though. I have to give her props, at least she was honest with you.. and you did broach the subject. Still, she is probably not going to date you regardless.

[ExCeL]

tell her to f*** off, lose the weight for yourself bro

[SwimmerGuy]

True. This needs to be something you do for yourself.

[KingMahseri]

loose weight for yourself it will change your life upside down , then she can kiss your ass