How can I reassure her?

[Anonymous]

I'm dating a girl off & on that I've been friends with for 25 years.. Except for when she got a little heavy for a while, her preferred style of dress has always been tucked in blouses & tops. I particularly like to see HER tuck things in because that style is so much a part of her! Well, a while back she was hitting the gym & started tucking tee shirts into fitted shorts as well, & I thought it was BEYOND HOT, but if she tucked ANYTHING in her mom would be mean & say, "Tuck that out! You look like a FAT PIG!" She'd cry & ask me if she was really that UGLY & FAT and needed to pull out her shirts, so I started encouraging her to tuck them in, wanting her to feel good about herself. I guess I went overboard because she got like, I get the message... You want me to tuck it in, I'll tuck it in, I don't care... I apologized & kind of dropped it. Fast forward 20 years, she sees a friend in a tucked in uniform (By the way, the girl is like a sister & dependent on me for transportation...) who hates tucking in anything, but hadn't bothered to tuck it out yet after work, but because the girl was technically "outside" work, my girlfriend was like, she cuter, she tucked in her shirt, she looks better with her shirt tucked in, you want her... I reassured her that my friend was just a friend & she HATES to tuck in ANYTHING, but a few weeks later my Girlfriend will start again, when she's the one who ACTUALLY tucks in everything! I've gotten calls while waiting for my friend to come out of work like, "You're they're early hoping to see her before her shirt gets pulled out!" How can I get reassure her & get her to put this to bead after 20 years of this? What was the alternative? I couldn't just watch her cry & be forced to dress a way that made her feel ugly...

Updates

+1 y

Wow, I didn't expect this question to get so many hits... I'm not complaining though, thanks for the help! :)

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+1 y

link OK, this is kind of how she dresses, though sometimes dressier... She's also a little more full figured, but not fat just BIG FRAMED! For her, 165 is rock solid no fat...

[alana1992]

I think that if you tell her if people can't accept her for being herself then they are the people that shouldn't even be in her life and they will only bring her down.

Tell her that she should be feeling free to be herself and not insecure because of what everyone else says. Tell her that no matter what you will love her for being her, and doing the little things make you smile like tucking the shirt in and everything :)

hope I helped

[Asker]

Yeah youu did, & she got THAT part, but thinks any girl who passes me with a shirt tucked is taking my attention!

[alana1992]

Ahh difficult.. Tell her how you would never look at another women the same way as her, she is unique and no one can take her place because she's too perfect :)

[Asker]

The little things DO mean the world to me... She occasionally has to wear a polo shirt from the school where she teaches, which she feels isn't the most flattering being white, but she drove to my house just so I could so I could see her before she tucked it out... AWW, she is SOOO SWEET when she's not being insecure...

[alana1992]

haha awwwwww

[Asker]

Yeah, I'm a sucker for a sweet girl... Warms my heart more than anything :D Thanks... You're really cute too, by the way... love the white blouse tucked out over shorts! :)

[Asker]

Shorter blouses like that which aren't made for tucking in are HOT... :D

[alana1992]

Hahah thanks.. Yeah shorts, it was a pretty hot day by memory.

That photo was taken about 3 months ago I think,

I change my look like ever few months.

:) I love those shirts, I'm a sucker for button up top lol

[Asker]

Oh, me too... The shorter fitted ones like that are cute & sexy, & I LOVE the ones a little longer that have their own little waist belt! This is more for people my age, but there's also something about the corporate look & having one tucked in under a suit... I love 'em all... :D

[alana1992]

No I totally agree, I sometimes wear those buisnessy sorta jackets over the top.

They make you look so friggen smart LOL

[Asker]

THRE YOU GO... It plays a girl's assets down to, showing enough to get a guy's attraction & interest, and makes him want to come back & see how you look in :somthing a little more comfortable" & revealing... Like Tony Soprano told his shrink on "The Sopranos"... "It's obvious you've hot a killer body under there, but..." LOL :D

[alana1992]

Of course girls like to get attention, whether it would be just a look by a guy or a guy coming up and trying to start a conversation.

And those shirts truly are comfortable as. apart from near the arms, it's a little tight.

But they are surely the best to wear, because you can button them up as much as you want or vise versa, although I wouldn't walk around with it totally unbuttoned haha.

I try to keep my body maintained, I wouldn't say try to keep fit but yeah lol

[Asker]

Yeah, baggy can be annoying to me. That's why I tuck everything in place, so it can't move around & pull, but they look comfortable & you look perfect...

[alana1992]

Hahah thanks :D

[Anonymous]

You wouldn't happen to be from the Appalachians, or the Ozarks perhaps. Just curious

[Asker]

No, Metairie Subburb of New Orleans... You know one insecure about girls with tucked in shirts? It's not a style I see worn very often anymore :(

[Opinion Owner]

Yea actually I did. There was this 1 girl, I told her she looked sexy tucked in so she started tucking everything in. I seen her the other day skipping down the street with her leather jacket tucked in & her pants pulled way up over her cute belly. She looked HOT! tho. I miss her.

[Asker]

That DOES sound hot! Not sutre if I'd be comfterable tucking in a jacket, but...

[Asker]

LOL I told the girl I'm referring to Via phone I heard something about tucking in a jacket, & if I think it sounds hot (HELL YEAH) she wants to try it... OK BY ME...