Why can’t I stop thinking about it?

[Anonymous]

I’d always been a healthy kid until I was about 12 I got seriously ill out of nowhere, I spent 4 years in and out of hospital and almost had brain surgery, I had 7 lumbar punctures and I was on medication that messed up my blood so I constantly had to have blood drawn. It screwed with me a lot and I felt suicidal because I couldn’t cope with it, they didn’t know what caused it but after the 4 years of what felt like torture it went away suddenly and now I’m 21 and back to perfect health as if there was nothing ever wrong, which I’m grateful for, but it leaves me in a state of ‘what the fuck just happened’ I developed anxiety and depression because of it which I managed by myself because no therapist (except for one who I love and grateful for) helped me. I no longer deal with the depression or anxiety but what happened still plays on my mind and I can’t step foot in or near a hospital or doctors office, they terrify me now, I can’t watch medical shows, I won’t let anyone touch my back where the lumbar punctures were done because it makes me physically feel sick and ill. I’ve had therapy for it but they gave up each time after two weeks because they said I wasn’t willing to help myself when I was trying my best. I get that it’s in the past but I still traumatises me..

[ChocoBrownieMonster]

Girl's always remember and think about everything.
You just have to keep creating lots of good memories and that trauma will be a very distant thing. It's call post traumatic stress disorder when you experience something awful like that. It's possibly you may want to understand what happened, girls v. young dont really get told things in detail. It's not unusual, blood disorders, immunological disorders are very complex and most will get to learn about them after 18yrs old when studying a degree.
It's great to hear youve recovered from it and are v. healthy, live happy now

[Anonymous]

I had a something like that happen to me when I turned 13, I had started my first period and after it finish I became sick, I end up in hospital for 6 months and then all of a sudden it disappeared, I was told in was due to my body going through puberty which realised a bunch of new hormones into my body all at once, cause my bodies defence system to attack my hormones like it was a virus, which corrected itself when my body defence system realised my hormones were no longer a threat to my body. It's very that this kind of thing happens so not many doctor will know how to help you. I was luck that my doctor had seen something like this a few years ago.

[Asker]

My doctor told me the exact same thing, but she said she wasn’t 100% positive but they couldn’t explain it any other way because the condition was extremely rare for somebody of my age. And I still have the fear it’ll happen again 🥺

[Opinion Owner]

I am 32 and it's not come back since, I recovered from it. So, you don't need to worry. I was worried to but it's been so long since I've had it, that I feel certain it won't return.

[Asker]

If you don’t mind me asking, what did you have? I

[Opinion Owner]

I can't remember that far back, I can only remember going though test and being in and out of hospital. I had forgotten about the whole thing until today, when I read your post, and remember I had gone through the same thing. Sorry, I wasn't more helpful.

[jennifer_bloom]

It could be God who cured you - around 35% of Americans believe God has cured them from an illness before - I trust in God and depend on God for my future - if you pray and meditate it could help you deal with the fear

[Asker]

I have done for the last few years but it doesn’t work

[jennifer_bloom]

Than therapy or family might help but it took 6 years after I became a Christian for me to be cured from my anxiety issues so results are not always immediate

[Asker]

I did go to therapy but they kept referring me to other people because they ‘couldn’t do anything for me’. I don’t think I wanna waste 6 years of my life praying though I have plans for my life I just need the trauma to go