Why do we women have so much pressure to stay thin and yet men don't?

Question

Like really. I've lost 8 pounds and only losing some weight and calory counting for HEALTH reasons. I'm not obsessed to gain any "validation" from people to judge if I'm beautiful or not. Losing weight is the bonus of it.

Health is key, not fitting a size 0 and beg attention.

Its really crazy hearing women panic over food and eat crazy low amounts of calories that wouldn't keep a toddler full.

What the hell is going on?

WhiteSteve · Accepted Answer

I think it’s more commonly demanded by men as a beauty ideal. I guess the whole “thick” movement we’ve seen since Kim Kardashian showed up 10-12 years ago, to some benefit, has hopefully encouraged women to not obsess over the ultra-slim beauty standards we used to see. The problem is Kim Kardashian and everyone like her were created in a lab, lmao. Kylie Jenner is easy to look at, but we watched her grow up on television (not me, but a lot of people did)... there is NO WAY she grew into what she looks like now in a natural fashion, I think that’s not even a secret, it’s just so accepted now that we don’t even bring it up. The point is, the beautiful women you see on Instagram, let alone all the filters, have fake boobs, fake butts, fake hips, fake faces, they put fat exactly where they want it, and suck it out of anywhere they don’t. They look great, but they bought their looks, they bought their naturally disproportionate figures. So it’s tough for an everyday woman to meet those ideals without the same artificial alterations, and I wouldn’t even bother trying. Most of the guys you’d hope to attract, you’re a lot closer than these Instagram chicks, and if they expect to pull that kind of woman, unless they run in certain circles in places like LA, NYC, Miami where those women hang out, they’re going to be looking for a long time. Also, not for nothing, I think those women all look great, or most anyway, but it’s not like that’s the only “type.” I think my girlfriend is hot as balls too, but she has a normal everyday person’s body, albeit that of a hot normal everyday person, haha, but she doesn’t look like she’s from the Kardashian Lab. So I wouldn’t sweat it. Let the guys you know drool over InstaThots all they want, then when they get off the internet they can participate in the real world like everyone else, lmao.

And just to round it out for your specific question, I think women just don’t have the same expectations of men and furthermore seem to be less drawn in by physical appearance. Like some women claim to love “dad bods”, or I’ll actually hear some say they don’t like when a guy has six-pack abs... I think a lot of that is kinda bullshit, lmao, but I believe it more than I would if a guy was saying he prefers “mom bods.”

I think we all just have our things we’re saddled with in terms of impressing and attracting the opposite sex. For women, it’s largely physical attractiveness, and we might not be swayed just because something about your personality is impressive. For men, we’re expected to “be somebody” and maybe have status and money, to “be a good provider”, even if we’re less easy on the eyes. Both of these things are difficult to attain and may be next to impossible due to individual characteristics and limitations. You might be a super successful woman but you have a face like a bulldog, so she’s out for a lot of guys. A guy could look like Zac Efron or Channing Tatum, or whoever the girls are clamoring for these days, and they love how they look, but maybe the guy is broke or some other variant of “loser” in their eyes, so he’d be out. We all have our challenges, and it seems rigged against most of us, lmao, but eventually most of us reset our unrealistic expectations when it finally gets down to it. I see couples together all day long, and most of them aren’t Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello.

HiveBee · Accepted Answer

You do? I thought that was out dated. These days we like thick girls! Lol.

Anyways, I think the pressure is due to biology. Your animal self knows it wants to reproduce, and to best ensure said reproduction, you feel the need to comply with what society tells you.

Society prefers beautiful women. Just as it prefers tall and masculine men.

And women feel pressure to be beautiful, just as men feel pressure to be masculine.

And these things hurt you because you feel that deviation from those expectations hurt your reproductive success.

Either way, whether its women and beauty, and men and masculinity, its damaging to you. But I think society will always Express a sexual preference that is ultimately rooted in biology.

Those preferences could potentially change over time, but there will always be preferences. People will never be free from that aspect of our nature.

That's what I think. I know people think that's not true. That science has debunked the idea that most things are rooted in reproduction. But I disagree.

IronLady6354 · Accepted Answer

I'm not so sure that's completely accurate. I'll agree that women have greater pressure to be thin, but that's not to say that men don't have significant pressure either. To be honest I think a lot of women wouldn't date a fat guy. There are definitely more guys who wouldn't date a girl solely due to her weight, but let's not pretend there aren't girls that aren't the same. Even if a girl is kind of open to dating an overweight guy I think (for most girls) there would have to be a lot of other positive factors that would cause them to overlook that. Even then I'm not so sure that girls are so significantly more willing to overlook the fat issue than guys are.
Even beyond romantic/sexual interest people still do look down on fat people, and that includes fat men. If you've got a picture of a fat guy and a picture of a thing guy/in shape guy people will typically still have a better initial impression of the thin/in shape guy.
Men care about their weight too and overweight guys are affected by societal attitudes towards weight (for better or for worse). I do think it has a greater affect on women, but I'm not actually sure if the impact is drastically (as opposed to marginally) greater.

paradiseonearth93 · Accepted Answer

I don't know, I have anorexia and it’s like the thinner I become the more weight I have to lose. I don’t lose for attention though, I actually just want to disappear and not be noticed. For me it just feels like I have my life together when I count calories and each day ends with my perfect number. I feel more tiny and elegant with bones protruding than a fat ass, although I miss it, I just like the feeling of being thin and empty.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Men do thats so completely absurd that you would suggest otherwise. Their is no "body positivity" for men, your not hearing women saying that fat/short/what have you man is also attractive but you will get bombarded with ads telling us that we are sexist pieces of shit if we don't find fat women attractive. How insular and out of touch you must be to think that men, who are only represented in media by men with six packs who are above average in height, don't get pressured into looking a certain way. In order to not be obese for a woman you just have to eat normal amounts of calorie and get moderate excercise. Meanwhile in order to get a six pack which men are pressured into getting you have to literally starve yourself (and I do mean literally, its controlled starvation) and work out to an extreme degree. The differences is that acting like a victim when any kind of expectation, even a minimalist one like don't be obese (men don't care if you are chubby, its if your obese that they start caring) is applied to women is a privilege that only women get, men don't get to complain no matter how absurd your standards are for them, no matter how detrimental and unachievable they may be.

In other words, suck it up and deal with it just like we do. No one is asking you to starve to death, they are saying don't be a fat slob who doesn't care about your health, that is it so don't pretend like getting staying under 200 pounds is asking so much of you because its not.

NoUsername9 · Answer

First, nobody is being pressured to be anything. It's your own body and you can eat what you want. But of course, health is important so although you don't need to necessarily think obsessively about what you eat, just choose the healthy option. This is for you, and don't feel to bad about treating yourself and as long as you're healthy you don't need constantly check your weight and be obsessive about it. As far as what people desire both men and women have certain "preferences" for things like looks, wealth, etc. We can't do anything about that. Although this is cliché, but just don't be with someone who's not willing to accept you the way you are while helping you become the best you can be.

Second, this is my own opinion, I in no way find thin women attractive. In fact I find a skinny body quite unattractive! I prefer full thighs and a big butt with a nice body that's not skinny but in no way fat. I honestly don't understand why the west likes women with a skinny body (if they do). Those model bodies are quite unattractive in my opinion.

Skankhunt · Answer

It's because of the societal norms. Men and women have to reach societal's expectations, the bar is way too high. If you don't or can't reach their expectations, you are considered to be worthless or not successful, which is bullshit of course.

Women
Women have to be beautiful, thin, nice tits, big ass, sweet, kind, caring, submissive, good with children, etc, that what society is expectting from women.

Men
Men have to be dominant, successful, make tons of money, big house, muscular, being bold and couragious, and good with women (approaoching and ask them out on a date), etc.

I think the most importantt thing is that you should be happy with yourself and what you've already achieved. Also, don't feel pressured to achieve societal's high expectations, it's useless, it will cost you more stress, anxiety, insecurity and depression.

Most importantly, don't change yourself to fit in and don't ask for validation. Validation only makes you a few minutes or hours happy, after that, you feel bad. Your happiness doesn't come from external things like having stuff or getting validation from others, haoppiness comes from within.

Finchie40 · Answer

Social media puts these pressures on women and men but most women are glued to social media and shit they watch on tv where most men don’t really give a shit cuz we have other things to worry about , yes it’s good to exercise but only good to exercise for energy , exercise has nothing to do with Health , so get that out of your head , when people say they do it for their health they don’t know what they are talking about , I know so many people that exercised like crazy , ate things that were considered clean and healthy and still dropped dead at a young age , so when someone says to me they are exercising and eating clean for their health it’s is a crock of shit , it’s a money maker and absolutely has nothing to do with health , we are all going to die from something so just live your life as happy as can be , exercise should be fun not forced to look a certain way , if you have to force yourself to exercise and force yourself to be accepted by others then you aren’t living a happy life , that’s where people go wrong , they over due it and then end up with injuries or they drop dead , our bodies are made to store fat for survival , keeping your body in between is the way to go , not to fat and not to skinny I honestly prefer girls that have some meat on their bones over a girl that is pretty much a skeleton eating plants and starving herself. People that focus to much on their appearance and force themselves to look a certain way are usually people that have very low self esteem about themselves and insecurities and think their shit don’t stink and usually the ones that cheat and aren’t faithful in a relationship. People should put there phones down and realize living contently is the way to go instead of living from what they see on social media and tv

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

1. Being overweight is part of being unhealthy (as is being underweight), so try not to separate them mentally.

2. Men do have to worry about weight problems, but not as often as women because most women tend to either not care, or are just more willing to settle when it comes to looks in men (some women even prefer fat men, they call them bears or dad bods, it's a thing I guess, its usually the result of it being more comfy to cuddle).

3. Most men do not care about extra fat to the extent that you think, most men tend to prefer the hourglass shape with enough fat to fill out the chest and bottom and to not see any ribs, this usually means being slightly chubby in the belly as well, like maybe 1 and a half to 3 inches of fat worth, rather than skin and bones, ripped, or obese.

4. It is much harder to lose weight when estrogen outnumbers testosterone, I'm currently overweight by a bit, but if I were to say, remove potato, corn, and wheat products from my diet, and eat a crapton of everything else, I would lose 5 pounds every few days while still getting a ton of nutrition, besides, that stuff is junk food anyway, and out of them only the potatoes are good nutrition wise.

Anonymous · Answer

Its not that we don't feel pressured to stay thin. Me at least whenever I feel like I'm gaining weight or anybody else says that I've gained weight I feel really embarrassed. However, we don't really miss out on food. We just work out and burn off the calories instead of consuming less calories. At least most men do, we also don't want to be just plain skinny and we want some muscle. I'm fairly fit, I wouldn't say buff, but I'm happy with how fit and slim I am. However it is true that men care less about their weight the women, at least accounting for the men and women I've known. I guess it's just a man thing. Some people feel like the bigger a man is the more manlier he is (which is not true, at least not in those terms.) Which can make someone believe that being overweight is fine because it gives them a manlier figure, which it doesn't. This is a very confusing topic as it very much depends on the person. For someone like me who is very careful about how much weight they gain, to someone who doesn't give a shit and just eats until their 800 pounds.

TruthBringer · Answer

Really? And who said men aren't being pressured to stay fit, be tall, have muscles etc? Last time I checked it's women who get more attention from men regardless of how they look compared to men. It's much easier as a lesser attractive woman to have men chasing you than a lesser attractive man being able to get a single woman (generally speaking that is).

Men are being pressured to be stoic, have muscles, have low body fat (chisseled abs), be successful (making lots of money and drive a nice car), paying for your meals, dates, clothes etc. You think you got it hard? Go tell that to the majority of suicides which are men.

You're far more likely to get into relationships and get (sexual) attention/validation as a chubby or fat girl compared to being a chubby or fat guy.

Anonymous · Answer

well first you're kind of wrong about men not being pressured to stay thin. Men get chastised if they have a beer belly, or a dad bod. look at leonardo dicaprio when he had a dad bod or arnold schwarzenneger when he had a dad bod and a beer belly and recently jonah hill. Also men are pressured to be big and strong to protect women. it dates back to the cave man days when men had to protect the women from other men and dangerous animals and creatures. and on top of it nowadays society just sucks. There's no other way about it. society just sucks. it pressures women to be thin and beautiful and not have a realistic figure. Same with men in fact. if you take a look at all "run way models" they're skinny rails size 0 toothpicks with no breasts ass or thighs. it's kind of gross looking at them. also have you taken a look at men's pants? it's damn near impossible to find a pair that actually fit properly on a guy who isn't a skinny shit as well. they make the legs to long, waist to big, no room in the crotch so your dick and balls get squished, no room in the ass or thighs or pockets. so guys are walking around with pants dragged to their ass because there's no room in the thighs ass or crotch and the waist is so fucking big the only way to support the pants is by keeping them by the hips and ass so they fit properly. these clothing designers don't have a clue how to make clothes and they have their heads up their ass

MCheetah · Answer

Men have societal pressure to:

- Be tall
- Be ridiculously confident/self-assured
- Be successful
- Be handsome
- Be charming
- Be gentlemanly
- Be assertive and dominate
- Be the provider of the household
- Be the one who impresses the opposite sex in dating
- Be the workhorses of society
- Be stoic and not complain or whine
- Be brave
- Be the heroes and defenders of their country
- Be the sacrificial lamb for women and children in emergencies and out-of-emergencies
- Die sooner than women

... And so on. You are a pampered first-world woman if I've ever seen one, baby. There's literally a woman out there who tried living as an undercover man and got depression from it. Men have it so much harder than you realize.

Wade8888 · Answer

Everyone eats too much. A man only needs 10 calories per pound body weight of his ideal weight, not 2000 calories per day. A woman needs even less than that.

Where I live, there are way, WAY more obese women than men, by the way. Women pretty much eat anything that's advertised to them and have inside sedentary jobs, so they gain weight like crazy, and if they've been pregnant they blame pregnancy for their weight gain. You know, television personalities like Jen Carfagno don't gain weight when they get pregnant, in fact she's a MILF, so what's every woman's excuse for not being MILF?

LZPanzer · Answer

Men have plenty of unrealistic beauty standards too. Being thin just isn't the main one. We also have other societal pressures placed on us.

Here are just a few pressures placed on men, each man is different, and your milage may vary

Appearance:

Be muscular
Have six pack abs
Don't be too thin
How much you can, bench, lift, etc
Being under 6 ft tall (perceived) hurts you
Dick size
Don't be fat

Societal expectations:
Be the bread winner
Be Mr. Fix it
Can't enjoy anything consider feminine
Emotionally repressed
Anything dealing with kids you're seen as a threat.

None of this is meant to say that either sex has it better or worse. The things expected of either sex is just simply different.

ohshee · Answer

For me I'm burning calories all day long cuz I keep my body after I just move all day long that's why I mean just about every night I have to eat two dinners one it 6 and then one probably about 10 or 11 and I know while I'm sleeping I'm still burning calories LOL if you want to do your 8 pounds or whatever if you walk 30 minutes a day 30 days I guarantee you your whole body will change your whole body will tone up and look so tight so good but you have to commit 30 days 30 minutes a day walking at a very fast paced even your nose tones up I swear everything dads and you lose weight just drink lots of water to

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

If you are considerable healthy men are ok with it, its you gals who put pressure on yourself as you girls say you do it for yourself and not to please men.

Women are just only judged by beauty and also if you are the right amount fit that's highly cherished and is considered as great it's your health after all.

Men are judged on height, weight, tummy, baldness, income, deep voice, character, also like charming or not, the things women consider to find a mate is more than what men ask for if you smile prity at least there will be 50 men in queue just bc of the smile lol and that's the minimum.
but women have a bigger list.

rjroy3 · Answer

Men and women are valued on different things..

Men aren't valued on their appearance anywhere near the same degree as women. It's the same reason men are pressured so heavily on being jobless while girls are not.

A jobless girl living at home is accepted for the most part. A jobless guy living at home is called a deadbeat. If a woman loses her job people gather around her to help her out financially.

If a guy loses his job he is pressured to get another job. People might help him find a job to take care of himself, but by and large people aren't looking to take care of a guy.

You even see it in the concept of "Independent Woman" being a compliment. An independent man is called being an adult. Nothing special about it. It's expected and if you're not one you're considered almost to be a boy still.

But an independent woman is considered something admirable. Why do you think that is?

LillKrull · Answer

You're kinda tunnelvisioning to be honest, and I really don't blame you for it. There is a lot of preassure towards how a man's body is supposed to look, however since it's a problem that doesn't get nearly the amount of attention that preassure towards womens bodies get, and there are multiple factors to consider as for why.

Long story short, we really do have preassure towards how we're supposed to look as well.

But let's be honest, it isn't all bad that there is some form of preassure. I live in Sweden, and while obesity is an upgoing trend, countries such as the UK and US are used as examples to scare people of what we could become, as well as combatting anorexia, and in general an unhealthy lifestyle the other way around aswell. Because if you live unhealthy, you kinda become a burden on society.

So stay healthy everyone, and don't take tips in health from Victoria's Secret! 😊

JDavid25 · Answer

Same reason why women ain't pressured to have a job much at all or not be a loser to society.. Well actually women are not pressured to be thin, seein as in the West guys prefer curvy women with meat on the hips and booty.. Also a chubby woman that has a fairly nice shape, and puts some good makeup on will get far more love and attention than a nice lookin chubby dude..

Anonymous · Answer

It's refreshing to see so many female responses here acknowledging the fact that not only do men feel the same pressure to meet certain physical ideals placed on them by women (tall, muscular, lean, broad shoulders, etc.), but they also feel pressure to be confident and have a good career and earn a lot of money. Women say they don't expect those things but their behavior consistently shows they do.

QA, your question here shows you have a very one-sided, gynocentric view and a self-pitying victim mindset.

Kas19 · Answer

Women are pressured to stay thin, tiny, and "properly" feminine. Men are pressured to stay fit, large and "properly" masculine. There is a gender binary because of what we see around us and in media.

I don't think anyone should look a certain way, I just think they should be healthy.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

Honestly wouldn't say that they don't. Men probably have equal amount of pressure to be big and strong as women do to be thin. Not to mention tall, which is something men can't change but a lot of women want a 6ft something man. Difference is society has hushed men into silence because it's "not masculine" for men to have feelings.

slatyb · Answer

Good for you. It's a long-standing cultural norm that women are judged on their appearance. It's not only women, but with women it's more open. Men are also judged on their appearance. Attractive men are hired and promoted ahead of less attractive men.

Why do we women have so much pressure to stay thin and yet men don't?

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Why do we women have so much pressure to stay thin and yet men don't?

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