Do you consider this woman to be overweight?

[OlderAndWiser]

I posted this question

Do you have physical criteria/preferences for a dating partner and did you deliberately choose whatever your preferences are?

I used the above photo as an example of a woman who is overweight but not grossly overweight or "morbidly obese." I had one female user respond with a claim that the woman in this photo is not overweight at all but is in the normal range! I don't subscribe to the body positivity movement which requires that fat people be told that they are normal and don't need to lose weight. But maybe I'm out of touch. Maybe this woman represents the new normal.

What do you think?

I am 22 years old or younger and I think this woman is in the normal weight range

I am 22 years old or younger and I think this woman is obese, but not grossly obese

I am 23-30 years old and I think this woman is in the normal weight range

I am 23-30 years old and I think this woman is obese, but not grossly obese

I am 30 years old or older and I think this woman is in the normal weight range

I am 30 years old or older and I think this woman is obese, but not grossly obese

Something else that I'll explain in a comment

[Bobbybopeep]

She’s fat. I don’t consider someone obese until they’re 500ibs… even tho I know that’s clicnally not correct.

[OlderAndWiser]

Right, she is overweight, but not obese.

[annabananna]

I think she looks overweight but Im not sure if she would be obese or not.

[Massageman]

The problem could be one of people simply learning the difference between how adipose (fatty) tissue packs onto the body and what it weighs vs how muscular tissue packs onto the body and how IT weighs. Adipose tissue weighs less than a similar volume of muscle. Put another way, muscle is more dense, and weighs more per given volume than does fatty tissue. When I was (rather) seriously working out, my weight went down and then sat at a low plateau, but my measurements kept slowly going down. Muscle is more compact per given weight. The gal in the reference photo probably isn't so much over-WEIGHT, just over-sized FOR that weight, since so much of the size is "fluffy" adipose tissue. If she were to exercise, she might have a mild weight lose, but could lose several inches while doing the training, and thus APPEAR to be at a lower weight than she might actually be.

[musicbrain5]

I would say overweight, but not terribly so, and definitely not obese. It looks manageable for her to get in shape. But there are other criteria that could be considered, like:

• Height - how tall is she and what is the normal weight range and body shape for that height? And don’t consider BMI - it’s not accurate. For example, I’m 6’1” and 190 lbs which my doctor says is healthy, and I’m fairly fit/athletic but I don’t have a perfectly flat stomach.
• Pregnancy - is she in the early stages of pregnancy, did she just give birth, or is her skin stretched? I’ve heard it can be hard to lose all pregnancy weight, and the organs and fat deposits in the abdomen get moved around.

[AaronKrieger]

The woman in that picture could be barely overweight or decently, but I doubt she's obese and she's probably bloated too.

However, she's definitely not within the normal weight range (less than 25 BMI). I don't get how anyone could objectively argue otherwise other than your poll not including the overweight option. I find her body pretty attractive, but that doesn't blind me from the fact she is overweight, since it's okay to recognize those things. Stating it about someone in a matter-of-factly is fine, as there's no ill-intentions.

[WindAtMyBack]

She's at least 20 pounds overweight, maybe more.

Most people who don't consider this overweight are justifying their own weight. They think someone who is a good healthy weight is "skinny". The woman in the picture is not only overweight, but she looks very unhealthy. She looks like she never gets any exercise at all.

The combination of being overweight, lack of exercise, and a poor diet is a killer. The life expectancy of the person in the picture is probably cut by a good ten years if she continues.

[DaveJord]

I am shocked by the response of the over 30... I mean this woman is not obese. I am 47 and I will tell yo this, at my age this a normal woman, and you would be lucky to land a normal woman.

At my age all the gym rat, fitness types are obsessed with it. Yeah, they are sexy, but their lifestyles are built around working out every day, protein shakes, and low carb dieting. Then you got to ask yourself, why is this woman really in 40's and still single... obsessed with fitness and dieting putting all this effort into themselves, yet not about to successfully date?

Just saying this woman is not obese. Most men would be so lucky.

[msc545]

I think this woman has a BMI that is probably in the overweight range and possibly in the obese range. It's hard to tell because she is sticking her stomach out and that sort of distorts the impression. Any event, she's not attractive to me at all given that much weight. It looks unhealthy.

[msc545]

I think it's really interesting that the only people on here that keep insisting that she isn't overweight and isn't obese and is perfectly fine are women. I guarantee you that none of these women would want to look like this.

[OlderAndWiser]

Yeah, and I suspect that most of the girls saying the subject isn't overweight are themselves overweight.

[msc545]

I agree. Overweight if not downright obese.

[Levin]

People have gone bonkers.

2/3 of Americans are fat so it's hard for them to know what is normal. I was shocked to find out my manager is 20 stone (280 lbs) cause he looks somewhat normal and like 15 stone.

Lots of women in their 30s weigh like 13 stone. Of course they all come up with some bullshit excuses. in my opinion, they should weigh like 8 stone. Not even 10 stone.

My general notion of how people should look is from the 50s.

[DJB72]

Looking at her general shape I'd say she's average weight and roughly 12-16 weeks pregnant. Her abdomen is distended in a way that suggests her uterus is expanding within it.

Aside from a bit of cellulite on her thigh that's visible, she doesn't appear to have extensive fatty deposits on her arms and legs, which also suggests pregnancy rather than obesity as the reason for her tummy's shape.

Alternatively, she could be a couple of months postnatal and her tummy still shrinking back to it's prenatal shape.

If she's neither then I'd advise her to see a doctor.

[Lliam]

She's definitely out of shape and could lose some pounds. It's looks like she eats bad food and doesn't exercise. But she's not obese.

[Rei13]

I put normal weight range only because I don’t think that she is obese, only overweight. Everyone carries their fat differently. In that picture it is primarily her stomach but not everywhere else.

[CubsterShura]

Maybe. Looks fine to me, she could be overweight but still not that big of a deal in my opinion.

[AviatorTom]

The woman in this picture looks to be at the high end of normal to low end of overweight, but not obese.

[Sonorous]

I chose "normal weight" because I think she's just slightly overweight & also bloated. I don't her weight should be the norm. But definitely looks normal to us in this modern day.

[ShesRad80]

i work in healthcare thats nowhere near obese. she's got maybe and extra 20 pounds, but if you are basing it off clinical stats she has some lead way with height, like if she's taller, bone size etc

[OlderAndWiser]

I never called her obese or asked if she was obese. Read the post.

[ShesRad80]

never implied you did- for some reason auto correct kept making overweight into obese when i was trying to type, i type way fast

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, I hate autocorrect, too!

[ShesRad80]

i just stated my thoughts, with the belly she could be insulin resistant. i see people in the ER that are 300 and 400 up even co workers, yes i kid you not co workers,. now lets be logically here who is going to go the the DRs, hospital etc and have a healthcare worker with hundreds, of extra pounds say you need to watch your diet and intake? sadly its the world we live in and i work in.
i see it so much 20 pounds extra on someone looks like nothing. that is the normal excess of 100 or more pounds weight wise. that much weight shouldn't be hailed as normal but it is these days for some reason

[ShesRad80]

it got me again on logical** and you can't edit your comment, d'oh!!! auto correct is the real enemy lol

[KostasKouvalis]

Maybe she meant to use the word "average" instead of "normal". It's true that the average woman does not look like a 10/10 super model. It's almost impossible to achieve anything about a 7 without make-up or photoshop.

But to call her "obese"? 🤣 That is NOT obese dude! "Older and Wiser" my ass! I'm very curious how your wife and the women in YOUR family look.

[OlderAndWiser]

You obviously didn’t read what I actually wrote and you just invented something so you could react with disdain. Before you respond to this reply, go back and READ what I wrote.

[Miristheiss]

A tad. Mainly her tummy. She doesn't look bad but she does need to tone up and get more fit.

All people should be fit.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Fucking how is that overweight? Overweight of what? A skinny person? That's a normal looking person. Especially with clothes on, like that's so fucking normal. Im trying to get back to my normal stop fucking making people think they need to be skinny and hungry to be normal.

[OlderAndWiser]

I am not fucking trying to fucking make people fucking think anyfucking thing. I expressed my fucking opinion and I asked for your fucking opinion. Is that fucking difficult to fucking understand? WTF?

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Sorry I say fuck more when I'm mad. And ur opinion being that someone who looks like that is obese makes me mad. Bc people ask shit like that, and people like u give ur opinion, and they fucking listen to it. And make themself very very unhealthy to try and fit your opinion of what normal looks like. So you just not saying your opinion about this topic would be good yknow. Actually deleting this whole question would be good, what with so many of those opinions all gathered nice and neat under it. But I know you won't do that.

[OlderAndWiser]

If most girls had to choose between looking like that picture, or looking like 20 pounds less than that, 99% of them would choose 20 pounds lighter, and you know that.

I never called that woman obese; I simply said that she is overweight, and that is true. If you read my original post, I also said that I have dated women who had that kind of habitus. If you get mad because other people have opinions different than yours, you will be angry your entire life. . . and that is far more ugly than just a few extra pounds.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

I'm not angry bc of your opinion. I'm angry bc of what you sharing it does. It does what you've just said, as if i didn't literally just say that that was the whole problem. People starving themselves, fucking up their body giving themself lifelong serious health issues, just to /look/ 20 lbs lighter. Your poll options call her obese, & you clearly wouldn't select the "normal" option. Dating someone you think is unhealthy and obese for looking like that picture, isn't the flex u think it is. Imagine dating someone who sees ur body like that. Who thinks "if they just lost 20 lbs..." how do u not see that saying shit like that—especially to or around people who care about you like in dating—seriously promotes eating disorders?

[OlderAndWiser]

Go save another corner of the world. I don't buy your arguments.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Wtf are you talking about? I'm not selling any arguments. I'm telling you why I'm mad. And I'm even staying "professional" and "objective" about it. Yknow what fuck you I'm going to bed.

[OlderAndWiser]

Enjoy yourself!

[Staximus]

@GOLDFISH_smile "Society is fucked up for calling fat people fat and that's why we have eating disorders “ is a cop out bullshit. People need to own up to their fuck ups, take responsibility for their actions, and call themselves out on their own bullshit. People don't develop eating disorders from the pressures of society. They develop them because they don't have enough common sense and self discipline to just eat healthy, and they have mental problems on top of that. You know what I did when I went from 300 pounds to 205? Eat a normal amount of food and get my fat ass of the couch.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

@Staximus it's proven over and over by medicine by science by every fucking study, that eating disorders can be & are regularly caused by outside pressures. From family, peers, society as a whole. And same shit it's been proven that shaming people for having them, demonizing people like they chose to be fat or that they're automatically unhealthy bc they don't look as thin as movies and TV say they should, makes people LESS likely to lose weight, MORE likely to develop/worsen eating disorders, and overall just makes everyone's lives shittier. Like people like the picture who aren't even fat are told no u have to be skinny. And why the fuck would someone have the delusion that they're fat they need to lose weight, even when they're nothing but skin and bones, if they hadn't been taught that they're fat even when they aren't? And that they're unhealthy even when they aren't? And that if they actually are fat and unhealthy, that's not a health problem actually that's a moral failing, that's their own fault bc they are a bad lazy person who is selfish and disgusting. Doctors won't help and they get mocked and insulted for exercising, and for not exercising. For eating healthy or unhealthy. When ur labeled fat & fat means bad, you can't do shit without criticism. Ever. And how u be expecting people in that kind of situation to solve their own health problem and change the way their whole body works with how much fucking effort and discipline that takes and with how it's sometimes literally impossible, when their mental health is constantly being beat down and there's no healthy way to look "healthy" for them? Are you really so fucking clueless to how someone could develop an eating disorder when everyone they care about treats them like shit for being healthy and compliments them and praises them for being unhealthy and losing weight due to dangerous disordered habits? Then fuck you too.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. None of your comments address the question of IS she overweight? Yes, she is. She's not morbidly obese, but she IS overweight, and this is not healthy.

2. By your theory, someone is a normal weight but we call them overweight (who knows why?), that makes them feel bad, they develop an eating disorder, and then they become fat. But - according to you - they really aren't actually fat, so what is the problem that's been caused?

[GOLDFISH_smile]

What? No. Again, that's not overweight. That's normal weight.
And yeah people cam actually be overweight of average, but that's not always bad. And when it is a health issue, it needs to be treated like a health issue. What ur doing is like posting a picture of someone with normal eyes and saying "yeah they can't see very well. They're not blind, but they definitely need glasses." And what I'm saying is that even in cases where people do need glasses, it's not helpful to call them blind or stupid or lazy for not having perfect vision. It's in fact make them less motivated to go get glasses bc now they feel bad about needing glasses, and then even if they do get glasses people make fun of them for wearing them! & telling people who don't need glasses that they do until they think they do too and get some, and then looking through glasses they don't need just fucks up their eyes! That's how fucking stupid this all is. And that's a pretty shitty analogy even, it's not even good. But u see how it doesn't make sense to say people who are not fat actually are, and people who are fat are lazy and bad people for being fat, when it's applied to another body health thing? You can't just "not play video games" and automatically ur vision is always perfect. It's not in ur control like 80% of the time. U think fat people haven't tried eating healthy? U think they haven't tried doing the same shit skinny people do? It doesn't work. It's not simple. It's not easy. It's an actual health issue and it's treated like a joke and a crime.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

You want people to be less fat and be more healthy? Stop calling people fat and stop assuming they chose to be and could easily just "get in shape." And don't congratulate people for losing weight unless you know they're doing it in a healthy way. 9 times out of 10 when that happens, it's a sickness, a mental health problem, or an eating disorder that causes significant weight loss. It's not helpful to tell someone they look better when they're sick and unhealthy.

[OlderAndWiser]

Do you realize that YOU saying this is not fat is just your OPINION and it doesn't mean that other people can't have a different opinion?

[GOLDFISH_smile]

You realize that whether they're fat or not, YOUR opinion is better left unsaid? Both for other people and for your own wanting people not to be fat? Calling them fat is a lose/lose situation for everyone.

[OlderAndWiser]

I don't even know who that woman is. When did I call her fat? What are you talking about? Is this just some stuff you made up in your head so you would have a reason to be mad?

[Staximus]

You're an idiot. Being fat is not being healthy and nobody told them to eat like an idiot to lose weight.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

@OlderAndWiser Bro you literally called her overweight—used as an example of it even. Don't play dumb & don't try to gaslight me that's not cool.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

@Staximus fuck off and come back when you can read better. Nobody was talking to you in the first place.

[OlderAndWiser]

Okay, I'll spell it out and make it simple. I said that she is overweight, but I never said that TO HER, because I have no fucking idea who she is, and even if I did, I would never say that unless she specifically asked my opinion. And since I never said that TO HER, how am I causing HER to have an eating disorder? She already has an EATING DISORDER; she eats too fucking much and she is overweight.

I am assuming that the reason you are going off like fireworks is that you, too, are overweight and you are taking this personally. Is that assumption correct?

[GOLDFISH_smile]

You calling her overweight negatively effects people, regardless of if she ever sees it or if she even exists. People look like that, and people look close to like that, and people who don't know people who do. U don't talk into a void there people everywhere who see and hear what ur saying. And I'm telling you, you saying that out in the world has bad effects. Scientifically proven bad effects.

It's none of your business bc I'm right whether I have experienced any of this personally or not. But I followed u for a while and so you must have seemed like a cool person at some point. So no I'm not "overweight" anymore. I'm medically underweight actually. Feel free to assume how that happened. Idc what anyone thinks of me anymore tho I'm just the messenger. Your words matter and you're choosing to say this shit. And you should stop.

[OlderAndWiser]

"Scientifically proven bad effects." Can you cite three studies, published in peer-reviewed journals, that prove that me calling this girl overweight has bad effects on the world? That sounds like something you have just made up because it's convenient. But if there are actual studies, tell me where I can find them.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

I read several studies last year about it, i found by Google searching health insitution and like official medical sites. I bet you could just Google "Does calling people fat make them lose weight?" Or "is calling people fat good?" And get something serious as a result bc there have been a lot of serious studies and info on this shit. It's not like it's a secret or some new discovery. Use Google scholar or go to a an official site u trust and search from there if u want. I bet they'll have something informative on this topic u can read.

[Staximus]

Sometimes you have to tell fat people they're fat

[OlderAndWiser]

"You bet" means you don't know but you assume they do because you MUST be right. I don't carry on conversations with people who fabricate "proof" of their argument. Goodbye.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

@OlderAndWiser bro wtf I thought you wanted sources? I just told you—that's where I found them last year. So you should be able to find plenty now. And you ASKED for where to find them! And I tell you, and you freak out and don't even TRY to just go and look over a fucking word? Bullshit. You know I'm right and you're using stupid excuses to not just go look.

Why don't you provide me a source for that calling people fat IS good and doesn't make them less likely to lose weight? Hm? Why don't you tell me where I can find those peer reviewed studies, since you're so convinced and yet haven't haven't claimed to know of ANy study to support your opinion. And in case it wasn't obvious I've already looked on Google and didn't find anything from any official source to support your opinion. So you'll have to give me a website/organization name like "pediatrics of america" or some shit, or 1 (ONE) title of reliable medical/scientific type article or study, that says you're right and calling people fat is good for them. Or you could just look where I said and see all the credible evidence goes against you. And stop bullshitting.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

@Staximus literally no you don't. Ever.

[Staximus]

Doctors do it all the time

[GOLDFISH_smile]

@Staximus oh? Are you a doctor?

[OlderAndWiser]

You are clearly arguing on the basis of emotion and not logic. I don't share your feelings and you can't possibly expect me to see this in the same way that you do. And your emotion refuses to yield to logic. I can't force you to see logic, and you may continue telling yourself that you are right. But being absolutely sure that you are right doesn't mean that you are actually right!

There is no sense in continuing this series of volleys. I already told you good bye. That means end. Stop. Finished. Don't respond. I don't want to hear anymore.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

So you know there's evidence, there's studies, there's tons of shit to back my claims. You know where to find all of it. Whenever you feel like doing the bare minimum of fact checking for yourself, feel free. Don't talk to me like I'm the one refusing to use logic when you're the one who won't provide your own sources OR look up ones I've told you where are. You're the one being illogical. Not being emotional doesn't make you logical, and being emotional doesn't make me illogical. That's a silly way to view logic and emotion.

[OlderAndWiser]

Obviously, you don't know how to cordially bow out of a conversation or accede to a civil request I haven't engaged in any name calling, but I am quite weary of your emotional tirade. I already said GOOD BYE, get it?

[Staximus]

@GOLDFISH_smile yes, I actually have a PhD in not giving a fuck

[TheUniqueOne96]

Yeah, she at least looks to be carrying a lot of fat and looks bigger than average.

[Apple1996]

Slightly overweight but not bad. She could honestly be bloated before her period or something as well making it look like she's overweight when she's not

[FYI345]

To be honest even if she's slightly overweight, she still looks good. Not everyone has to be skinny/slim. As long as you're not super obese, it's fine.

[Apple1996]

@FYI345 I agree if i seen her in person I wouldn't think anything about her weight

[scooogy]

@Apple1996 your comment reminds me of that puffer fish in Finding Nemo getting bloated when shocked 🤣

[Apple1996]

@scooogy lol women are not like puffer fish 🤣

[Anonymous]

How old is she. a lot of that hinges on her age. She could stand to lose a couple lbs. But I don't think she anything overboard yet. But this is my point. If she that and under 30 it's probably going to get much worse as she ages.