Just tell her. It hurts, but it's something people need to hear. I'm talking from personal experience. I had a boyfriend about three years ago who I still really miss. I let myself go, and he was no longer attracted to me. Instead of telling me that, he dumped me. I didn't find out until about a month later why he broke up with me. I'm sure at the time it would have hurt to hear him call me fat, but I wish I'd known so I could have lost the weight. He's the only guy I've ever loved. I work hardcore to keep myself thin now after that, but I haven't met any guy who measures up to him.
I'm sure people will try and respond that he is an a**hole (friends have told me this) for breaking up with me over my weight, but if he was no longer attracted to me why should he stay with me? If someone is unhappy in a relationship and don't feel attracted to their partner anymore then they have no obligation to stay. It would only cause resentment later on and we'd probably break up eventually either way.
If he had just told me I was gaining weight, I would have lost the weight for him. I won't lie and say I wouldn't be hurt, because I would be but I am ten times more hurt that he dumped me. I'd rather he call me fat, and I can work on myself to be attractive to him. We'd been together since High School when we were in grade ten until three years ago when I was 24. I've never been with anyone else, and when he met me I was only 90 pounds (I'm short, only 5 feet). You can't blame him seeing me go from petite to 140 in less than six months and be turned off.
Instead of telling her directly that she's gaining weight you should you guys should exercise together. This way she would have a healthier body without getting her feelings hurt.
Im in the same boat and I wondered the same thing. I've been with this girl for two years and her weight has fluxed a few times. I started out beating around the bush. Commenting on pictures of herwhen she weighed less. Then pinched her belly fat playfully (we re close and I don't recommend that unless you know it will go over ok) finally I started watching what I ate for her sake...meaning if we went to dinner I suggested the salad or something healthy. Trust me she knows she's getting bigger and US tellin them hurts. But if your like me I can't be with someone I'm not sexually attracted to and it was important enough to me to take the risk of hurting her feelings. She's dropped 17lbs since the talk
I listened to a good podcast on this the other day. Listen to it: link
Basically you have to say it in a way that you want her to be healthier because you love her and want to feel attraction. There's a difference between love and attraction. When you do something she doesn't like, she loses attraction for you, even though she still loves you, and you want the same for her. For her to be attractive, because you love her.
Opinion
7Opinion
You should try to do active stuff with her to lose weight...like hiking, going to the park, or even shopping because you can walk around the mall alot. You could go shopping with her and help her pick out more flattering clothes. Also, when you go to the grocery store pick up healthy food instead of other foods. If she asks why you are doing this, say you want to become more healthy and that you want her to help you with this goal. I think she would see this as something she would want to do for you and not you wanting to change her.
Idk why girls in the USA feel like they need to be treated like a barbie doll even if they don't look like like one. Do what the top answer said. If she still thinks that you're trying to be mean, rude, and or a jerk then you should find another girlfriend. Relationships aren't solely based on how the person is on the inside it's also based on how the person looks from the outside.
watch this YouTube vid...
What's the best way to tell your girl that she's putting on weight without hurting her feelings?
You already have told her she's putting on weight going by your own words of talking to her about it.
Seems more like you're not looking for a way to tell her without hurting her feelings but a way to tell her to lose weight and have her do it happily.
In my opinion it's best to tell her to lose the flab or you'll lose attraction to her.
lol wow, I think you just have to deal with it like you are going to tell someone she's got terminal cancer, or a broken spleen or something. Ie. break bad news real well.
If you approach the subject, you must sign-post her like, a million times. Like, give her plenty of hints/warnings about what you are going to say. If you drop the bomb on her in one go she will explode I think. It would be like going straight up to someone and saying, "Uh, your test shows you've got bowel cancer. See you.".
The fact that you even brought up this question says that you should break up with her. If you really care about someone, it shouldn't matter if she gets fat. Except if it becomes a health problem. Any way you say it, there's no nice way of telling your girl she's getting fat. You are shallow and should move on to a girl who has better metabolism than the one you're with now. Once she gets fat, she's gonna get bitchy. And trust me bro, there's nothing worse than a fat, bitchy girlfriend.
@Because every time I talk why my girl about the subject,
then youve _already_ told her. there's nothing more to say. shell either lose weight. because _she_ wants to, or she will not. you are free to break up, with her. you are not free to expect her to mold her body, to your preference. that's crossing a line.
Not being an ass, but is her weight more important than how you feel about her? If so, you probably should just break up with her because you don't truly love her
there is no way to tell a girl she is gasining weight without hurting her feelings, it is imposible, that is something that will always hurt to her.i wouldn't bring it up if I were you it just kind of makes you seem like a jerk, and don't try to veil it by saying things like you think she needs more exercise or you want her to be healthier, that is just as insulting. anyway you can probably assume she is already aware she is gaining weight
i know you mean well...its a touchy subject for women...i think no matter how you say it it always hurts but at the same time sometimes you gotta just do it to show you care about them and their health. she will thank you some day after she gets her hot bod back
You could ask her when is she going to go buying some new outfits, because the ones she has are begining to look tight/small.
If she can't afford a new wardrobe, the cheaper alternative is to lose a few pounds.
You could ask her to take some long walks, or bike rides with you. Take it slow, and you'll have her exercising before she knows it.
You'd probably feel the same way if it were in reverse too. She already knows how you feel, so I suppose if it's that big of a deal, you should just break up with her instead of hurt her feelings anymore.
i would buy her pants that you know aren't going to fit her and tell her to try them on and when she says they don't fit, say "maybe you gained weight"
theres no way to tell her and don't also words are just words ... tell her you want a jogging buddy and what better person then her... or just exercise with her ... where is she gaining weight at?
Tell her you still think she is beautiful and always will no matter what but you just want her to be healthy.
Get her a treadmill for her birthday/anniversary/ Christmas.
??, ????????????? ??????, ??????? ?????? ?? ??????????.
Be a man and tell her that she's going to the gym with you.
If she responds with "So you think I'm fat or something", brush it off and assert your authority as a man in the relationship.
plan active dates?
Workout together
You can also add your opinion below!
Most Helpful Opinions