My Story - The Tale of Someone That Has The "Wrong" Body According to Society


I had the chance to see many questions, myTakes and opnions about overweight people, fat shaming and all that jazz.

Now I have been overweight my whole life, all I wanted was to be normal but being the fat kid in elementry school means you get bullied everyday, I did not have what was known as a happy childhood. In middle school I was invisiable, like a walking ghost but it was fine. I focused on school and things were okay. Then there was highschool. For the first time in my life I had friends. They were three girls I connected with, the three of us became close, tow were beautiful and slim, the third was cute and average (not thin but not fat). After highschool we all went to diffrent places, I started collage.

The first term was hard and sadly I gained something like 20lbs, after years of refusing to look to at the scale I did it.

I was shocked and ashamed. Only couple of lbs away from the 220. (5'5)

That was the moment that had changed my life, after losing the first 20 lbs I met him. He was my first love, at first things seemed good. He seemed to be the one, the one that would love me regardless of my weight.

That however, was not what really happned.

During our few months together all he would do is to remind me how much of a pathetic loser I was, how I was supposed to thank god that he (my ex) even agreed to be with someone like me. That I am lucky that he loves me.

Like an idiot I belived his lies, who would want a fat chick?

During our short relationship I lost something like 5lbs, I was proud of myself for making a progress but he would say that I might have lost weight but its not enough. He would also degrade me for my skin (used to have acne due to stress and sorrow)

One day I had sobered up and left him.

Since that I had lost 15lbs more (now I am in the 180 area), for the first time in years my skin got smooth. My acne was gone! The gym became a huge part of my life and I work out very often.

And then, just when I left the the gym after a long cycling workout (spin class) I understood something.

I am beautiful.

I have amazing doll-like smooth face, large perky bust and good proportions. Yes I need to lose more weight and I am working towards my goals but that takes time. I should celebrate what I have achived all while keep working towards my goals.

Then I got home and understood another thing. It worthes nothing. I dont have the confidance and most likely never will have. All thanks to my rude family, guys like my ex, the stupid soceity that I am stuck in and of course our internet trolls that claim that a woman is beautiful only if she underweight which I will never be since I want to be in a healthy normal weight.

So how do people do that? How they fall in love with themselves? How they overcome what makes them inscure?

I know how irational it is, objectively I know that I have never been as beautiful as I am now and I get more attractive everyday but all I can see is someone that will end up alone since she will never be a size 0

I think it was supposed to be:
I think it was supposed to be: "has been"

*I do want to clearify that I do not support skinny shaming at all so I will never shame my skinny friend to improve my self esteem*

My Story - The Tale of Someone That Has The "Wrong" Body According to Society
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Piteka5
    I'm very sad to hear this, you were unlucky to get such a stupid guy, he should have supported you, it was not your fault. As long as you are OK with your body, you should not feel discouraged. If it's unhealthy you should always try to get better, I'm doing that myself. But we should always try to better ourselves in one way or another, staying put is not productive.

    When you start dealing with more grown up people you'll see no one's out there to shame you.
    I'm sure you don't even look that far right now, so don't be too anxious about it, just don't let it slide too much
    Like 1 Person
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    • Thank you, its just all of those awful comments and streyoptypes make it so harsh.
      And I am not even talking about the mentally ill people here that a girl's worth to them is mearly her BMI

    • Piteka5

      It's true, it's terrible, if I wanted a girl just to look at I would buy a painting and hang it on the wall

    • It says more about the boy (that is not a man in my opnion then about me) then it says about me but my biggest fear is to see young girls develop anorexia due to guys that tell them that a girl with a 22 BMI is obease

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • Saville_Row
    Let me tell you a little secret about society: it's never enough. They will destroy you if they can, so you have to learn to listen to the people who really care about you. Learn to love you so much that you absolutely have to be the best version of yourself, whatever you think that means. Your definition is the only one that matters.

    You don't need the people that is not giving you advice or helping you to improve. Someone better will come soon.
    Like 2 People
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What Girls & Guys Said

  • SteveSmith1985
    Hi. I really really liked your MyTake.

    For a while there... it was making me feel really good... until I got to the part where you said:

    "Then I got home and understood another thing. It worthes nothing. I don't have the confidence and most likely never will have. All thanks to my rude family, guys like my ex, the stupid society that I am stuck in and of course our internet trolls that claim that a woman is beautiful only if she underweight which I will never be since I want to be in a healthy normal weight."

    That was actually really heartbreaking to read. I was quite the emotional 'bucket of cold water' for me (the reader).

    Until then it sounded like your story was going to have a happy ending.

    And it still can have 'a happy ending'... its still a work in progress I suppose.

    Now, surely you know that you don't have to be anything near a size 0 to be attractive. I KNOW you know that. At least I hope you know that.

    I'm so sorry your ex was such an asshole. I mean... you DO know he was a total asshole and he really doesn't represent guys in general (in any way). I think that's all you're missing.

    Now... this part of your 'life story' hasn't been written yet...

    But what your story is missing, is the relationship with the GOOD guy, who makes you feel beautiful, loves you for who you are (however you are) and is... basically the exact opposite of your asshole ex-boyfriend in every conceivable way.

    I predict that that part of your story WILL happen (I just can't tell you when). I realize that I just seem like a random stranger trying to say some encouraging shit. NOT SO... this is a prediction. Just... keep it in the back of your mind... you'll see. :)

    I hope in the meantime, you keep doing all the positive things you've been doing. And keep seeing those positive things about yourself when you look in the mirror. One thing I can tell you FOR SURE: no matter what your weight; no matter what you look like... if you feel beautiful... you WILL BE MORE beautiful. No matter what else is going on... that always remains true.

    Lastly, when you were describing yourself when you were in middle school, as well as in high school there were these two girls in particular who it reminded me of from back when I was in middle school and highschool. Now I was never close to either of them, but we did 'know each other' for many many years. I think they would probably describe their experience of growing up 'the fat kid' in much the same way you have.

    We also 'went our separate ways' after high school. But thanks to Facebook... I can tell you that both of these girls are (seem) happily married, and in fact both have kids. They got married in their mid-to-late twenties (like most everyone else)... to guys who just seem "normal" guys. In other words... it didn't look AT ALL like either of these two girls was "scraping the bottom of the barrel" when it comes to the guys they ended up with for husbands.

    Both of these girls look more-or-less like 'older versions of their younger selves'... no drastic weight-loss, or 'make-over' or any bullshit like that. They just found guys who love them. And they seem quite happy. Thanks for sharing this. :)
  • MackToday
    You just met a predatory freak who thought he could get away with it because you were fat. You probably have a lot of commies after you too, talking about how bad "fat shaming" is and so on. I'm fat, I'm short I've got acne scars, I just date women that are like me, such is life. It's not pretty peoples fault somehow that I look the way I do. Nor is some communist actually going to help me, they just use people.
    • My ex was not so attractive at all, its not like I dated a prince charming while looking like an orc. We even met on Tinder so he did swipe right on me at first and said I look better IRL then in pics so 🤷‍♀️

    • MackToday

      Had to have been something wrong with him acting like that. That's way off of what any normal person could even bring themselves to do.

    • There are too many mentally ill people sadly

  • HeyMikie
    Yes, love yourself first! Believe me there are many men in this world who would love you just the way you are.
  • Nonbinary
    When you get what you want in your struggle for self
    And the world makes you king for a day
    Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
    And see what that man has to say.

    For it isn’t your father, or mother, or wife
    Whose judgment upon you must pass
    The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
    Is the one staring back from the glass.

    He’s the fellow to please – never mind all the rest
    For he’s with you, clear to the end
    And you’ve passed your most difficult, dangerous test
    If the man in the glass is your friend.

    You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
    And get pats on the back as you pass
    But your final reward will be heartache and tears
    If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.

    Reminded me of this poem. Keep up the good job!
  • ThisDudeHere
    Overweight... idn't beautiful.
    Disagree 1 Person
    • If you do not have anything nice to say dont say anything at all.

    • Just a reality check.

    • Just dont be a dick, okay?

    • Show All
  • anylolone
    Hey, an incel in denial thinking "society" owes her sex.
  • Secretgardenblood
    Good take
    Like 1 Person
  • bklynbadboy1
    I love this my take well said
    Like 1 Person
  • Joker_
    Excellent analysis, excellent discussion!
    Like 1 Person
  • bradpitto
    Disagree 2 People
  • liquidsolid
    fine honey :O
    Disagree 1 Person
  • JustWowMan