Some do... what I don't understand is this silliness of doing everything except PIV... if you're doing sexual things but "saving yourself for marriage," that's a load of phooey.
Do they still say phooey? lol
Geeeeeze. Look, I have to use nice words so I don't have to add to the swear jar.
Well phooey.. okay! Ha
It was a joke... but I'm trying to cut back and use my more extensive vocabulary... hence "phooey."
Holy mackerel! Aww shucks!
That just sounds forced... but I'll keep trying!
I'm curious to know about the two point system... lol But I'll just keep wondering. 😊
Thanks for the MHO
Yes yes yes!! I don't get these people who claim to save for marriage and then do everything leaving nothing but PIV behind.
I waited, and so did the woman I married. We quickly found out that we weren’t sexually compatible, and it went downhill from there. We ended up divorcing a few years later; there were a variety of reasons, but the disappointing sex life was definitely one of them. Today, I wouldn’t even consider marrying a woman without knowing if we’re sexually compatible.
Some things are difficult or impossible to work out. In my case, we had different preferences, and she adamantly refused to try anything new. After a while, we stopped having sex altogether. It would have saved both of us quite a bit of time and heartache if we had known about that incompatibility before the wedding.
That’s true. I also got married more than 20 years ago; times have changed.
You looked to her purely for sex fantasy fulfillment. That was mistake #1. You didn't check for attitude compatibility. Mistake #2.
Marriage is about sharing goals and sharing a LIFE, not having porn star quality sex!
@ObscuredBeyond They were both virgins that never became sexually compatible. This suggests they married for more than just physical attraction. I think your logic is off base
@DorkVader : He states that what mattered to him most was sexual compatibility, which he doesn't define. How hard is it to find another angle or position? If you have to resort to the Lazy Dancer, why not? Not compatible... as in she doesn't believe in oral and anal? Did she demand to be covered in sushi and turn him off? Fetishes should be discussed before marriage. So they aren't expected after.
If I had a stable home of my own I could afford, a wife that I could snuggle with after a long day at work, and someone who will hear out my proposals on life matters that isn't a parent or grandparent, I don't need a wife that can bang like a porn star. Sex can be sparing, and I'd be fine. Seems everyone wants extremes these days. Either you have a partner that's more f*kbuddy than anything else, or you're simply alone. If those are my only two choices, knowing horror stories about friends with benefits, being alone suddenly doesn't sound so terrible.
@ObscuredBeyond That's you. Maybe you have a lower sex drive than this person, and that's fine, and most virgins dont know what the heck positions or fetishes they have or even how to explore them safely. Not everyone thinks like you, and that's ok! But it doesn't make his perception of his marriage wrong. He lived it, you didn't. You can only speculate on it.
Yes some people do and I’m saving for my future wife
I’m waiting for marriage
Yes, that's the best way to do it to not screw yourself up. Otherwise, if you want to do it, do it. When it doesn't work out don't complain about how the sex was bad. Because sex is not about how good or bad the person is. It's about enjoying the fulfillment of marital sex together. You can always work on that as a couple. Sex is not a performance. There are studies to back this up. Those who wait have better sex and healthy marriages.
I wouldn't say marriage, but I save "it" for a long- term, committed, monogamous relationship. But "it's" worth the wait.😉
How long you waiting?
Depends on the person and the level of attraction, and if they're really serious about being/staying committed to me and me only. Think I've said before, I don't share my man.
Thanks for the honorable mention.
Couldn't really reply saving it for marriage as at my age, that ship has sailed 😊unless I become the virgin Mary reincarnated, then yup, saving that shit🤣😂
Yep they do! And I totally agree with it (though I am not one of those who have). If you have sex before marriage, you have an intense connection with that person (even if it was only a one night stand). It may not be a romantic connection, but it is a connection that can get in the way of your connection with your spouse. If you have a piece of paper and you rip it up and give it to a bunch of people except for one piece, and you give that piece to The One, you also have all those pieces that were given to others. Same is true with sex. At the end of the day, you won't have as much to give to the right person. My advice: Keep your pieces. I know what it's like to give one to the wrong person.
I understand what you are saying and I agree with you to a point. "If you have sex before marriage, you have an intense connection with that person." It seems to me that kissing is more intimate than sex these days. It seems to me that kissing brings more of a connection than sex these days.
@David92506 I can see where you are coming from. Today, sex means less to people. It's just something that everyone does. Now, sex is something that is as important as going to McDonalds for lunch
I wanted to make a comment where I agree with you. My parents told me that sex is like a secret between two people. Once you start having sex with a lot of people it's not much of a secret anymore. So I agree it should be saved for one person.
@kaitylatte I like it
People believe in waiting for marriage. The Boys of GAG sometimes believe that they won't marry someone who isn't a virgin (good luck with that), but the Virgins have to deal with marrying a man who was a dirty stomp-around. That doesn't really seem fair to me, but who can tell about these GAG mens.
The boys of GAG ha ha ha
I do! Not only do I believe saving sex for marriage, but also any other kind of physical thing, like making out. And at least I still believe in dating/affair where you get to know you partner and talk to each other, go out together, all that good stuff minus the physical relationship... I know many people who don't even believe in that.
I like the idea but no kissing before marriage seems a bit too extreme. I feel that if you like someone a lot but aren't quite ready for marriage it's okay to kiss and cuddle up. Like it would be weird to be engaged but not even kiss.
But as far as like casual dates before you really really know the person I think that's fair. I've gone on half a dozen dates without a kiss because it felt soon.
So how exactly do you draw the line then? There are some people who legitimately use that excuse and then they literally do everything, give blowjobs and what not, only leaving intercourse and saying they are 'saving' for marriage, lol! I don't like this cherry picking. It's my body and I'm not letting anyone touch this until they have shown their commitment, and their only way to do it is marriage. Some guys won't like that and leave, but that just means that the trash is taking itself out. I don't want a man who wants me for my body.
If you love someone, and you are having an affair for several years without getting married, then something is terribly wrong. Even if you are in a financial crisis and you can't afford a wedding ceremony or even a ring, you can always go to the court/church/temple/whatever religious place and at least get the papers signed and vows read and get legally married, which doesn't require any diamond ring, or bridal dress, or a feast.
If you don't believe in marriage in the first place, then my principles still apply, that you should be saving for only the person you get into a serious committed relationship with, whatever is a the alternative to an official long term life with your partner other than marriage in your mind.
But getting to know someone takes time. I might be confident that I like someone after a year but still want to wait to make sure everything is fine. No guy wants to marry early just for the girl to change her mind.
Which is why I don't think some signs off affection are okay, because you expect to stay together but still want to be cautious, if course nothing sexual.
Have you never cuddled with a family member?
Getting to know someone takes time, but it shouldn't take more than 5 years to marry UNLESS you have been in this relationship since you were in middle school or high school, in which case it can take longer because you need the extra time to grow up first.
I did cuddle close family members and my best friend. My bestie literally spoons me like a bolster pillow when we sleep over. But she's not any random person, we've been best friends for over a decade.
Yes that's exactly what I'm saying. And it's no big deal. Some do make a deal out of it, but that's exactly why you need to talk about it and give your potential partner the heads up before you even start to have any affairs with them.
It's normal for Muslims.
I am saving myself for marriage idc what people think about it.
Fight me bro.
Ha Ha Ha
I waited until I was married. It was the best thing I ever did and I have no regrets to this day. My husband waited too.
When we shared those special first moments it was a gift to each other that no one else in the world got.
Personally, no. Virginity is a made up concept and the idea of saving yourself for marriage is almost impossible in our current culture. Those men who want a pure virgin for themselves and vice versa will probably divorce in a few years as they realize just how sexually incompatible they are.
@glutendan or unwanted pregnancy among teenagers?
Oop the incel and trolling really jumped out here🤡
It's rare, but it is still very much a thing as people willing to do their research know how strong the correlation between number of sex partners and the odds of failed marriage, not getting married, depression, not having a successful relationship, low self worth, low income, bad reputation, and likelihood of committing crime.
I think whatever someone chooses, good for them. As long as something isn't dictated it's fine. I think in certain religious groups, there's a lot of guilt associated with having sex before marriage. I would rather someone choose out of their own best interest rather than out of guilt or feeling like others are judging them. I was raised in a really religious atmosphere, one I'm no longer a part of. I've had sex and I'm not married yet. I think I needed to explore my sexuality my own way or I would have felt like I was missing out. I'm happy with my decisions.
Marriage rates falling, 50% end in divorce, 70% divorce started by women increasing to 80% for second marriage and about 86% for third and more. No fault divorce leaving men in a position to do everything right and still get taken to the cleaners and face starving to death or prison paying for their ex.
Marriage is a contract for slavery for men to sign endorsed by corrupt governments to facilitate transferring a man's wealth to a woman freeing the state from the responsibility of supporting women who would otherwise have to support themselves.
I have absolutely no faith in marriage and never will.
I don't believe in it at all.
Sex is an important part of a happy marriage in mind. You've got to properly vet a partner and ensure you have good sexual compatibility.
Otherwise it can become an area of resentment.
I am saving myself for marriage because that's my belief.
But at the same time, I don't think everyone should be forced to save themselves for marriage- and I'm not going to look down on anyone who doesn't. Their sex life isn't mine, so I have no business in telling them how to live theirs, and they don't have any business in telling me how to live mine.
That's what I'm trying to do but I'm a rare breed of person :)
I don't know. Saving yourself isn't exactly what it sounds like. I dated a girl in college who was "saving herself". She was basically okay with everything except vaginal sex.
Personally I don't think that's what "saving yourself" means... Though that's just my opinion..
Yep... I am saving myself for my true love. I will lose my virginity to my husband after wedding...
People can think that it is so old fashioned... but I don't give a fuck😂😂😂😂🤣😀
@Shamalien years... it's like giving my all to him...
Sex life can be always be improved. so rather thn sleeping around n checking who is better is better to save urself 4 the right one... n yeah i believe in saving myself 4 marriage others will follow
Well yes! There a lot of people Who does that, largest percent of middle easterns specially the christians. The society in other open minded countries made it a abd thing somehow and now you have teen parents, std's, gender change and so on. And yes! I am one of them 😁
U wouldn't buy a car without testing it... why commit to a dick u don't know
Try me then :-P
I'm pretty sure a guy is much more than a dick.
Talk about objectifying men lol
Nothing lasts forever. Relationships included. Sex is ur own personal business. Do what pleases you and fuck being judged. I don't need my statement reworded, i mean what I say. I personally get bored and wonder what sex would be like with someone else. It's life. Marriage is a lot of money spent on a signed paper and attention from everyone telling u congrats. Love is overrated. Why in the hell is celibacy still an act? It's 2020... lust trumps love. Sex isn't meant to be with one person for the rest of ur life. Sex is suppose to feel good, not something to over think. Marriage, dumb. Boring sex with one person for the rest of ur self induced miserable life, retarded.
@CarrieLee My apologies, no harm meant
@DorkVader cute name and i was told today I'm to vulgar to conversate with blah blah or some shit like that. U did spruce up what i said.
@CarrieLee that's an odd point of view you have, I hope your boyfriend knows all about it and knows you're gonna either cheat on him or dump him for another guy so you can feel a different dick 🤔
I used to but being a virgin is kind of hard these days especially because rim a sexual person. I still am one by choice and I just got out of a relationship where we were always intimate without going there. It’s just about waiting for someone who’s deserving of it
You've got it all wrong
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I’m waiting and so far the pluses still seem to outweigh the minuses (I have no STDs, out of wedlock children, I think I have less emotional baggage from previous relationships, I’ll honestly be able to tell my husband he’s the most amazing lover I’ve ever been with, etc.), while the only con I’ve seen people offer is you might not be sexually compatible. To me that seems like something you figure out together. I mean, how many people would say, “(S) he’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met and I love every moment we spend together and we have an insane amount in common and I think s (he) is gorgeous, but (s) he doesn’t like doing this thing in bed that I like doing so I’m going to break up with him/her”?
I like it it. The plusses are good!
Why are girls like you so rare? Smh
@Syrian_survivor They aren't :)
@tallandsweet. Sadly, my 30 years of experience say othetwise!