I don’t see the point in getting married if you’re just going to have an open marriage. I see why sometimes maybe people start open marriage after they’ve been married for a while but the whole concept to me is just not my thing.
Same. It’s all or nothing for me. It’s a ride or die relationship, or I don’t want it.
Time is precious. We all have only a limited amount of time on this earth. And, complete undivided attention can only be given to one person at a time.
If I want to have a relationship with the most depth and closeness as possible, I can’t be dividing up my time and attention between too many people.
And serious romantic relationships take work. They aren’t like acquaintance relationships. They take a lot of time and attention if you want them to thrive.
Frankly, non-monogamous relationships only get in the way of intimacy and closeness in my opinion.
And because intimacy and closeness is important to me (it’s a core value of mine) it’s something I prefer not to compromise or dilute.
In my view, open marriages (and relationships) are for people that aren’t completely fulfilled or satisfied by their partner. And, they’re looking to get that fulfillment and satisfaction from other people.
To me, that just sounds like a lack of compatibility. Yet, they want to stay together? Why? To not be alone I suppose? Or they’re the best they’ve found so far but they still want to keep their options open?
And as someone that appreciates romance, I don’t believe being a spot-holder or being someone your spouse is simply settling for, is very romantic.
So yeah, open relationships are not my cup of tea.
If the chemistry isn’t absolutely amazing, keep looking until you find a relationship that truly fulfills you.
It's difficult to make it work but go ahead if that's what you really really want. Make sure polygamy isn't sexist and one sided, when your man fucks every woman in sight and you call it open. Personally? It's not my thing.
What is the point really? Especially from the male point of view because... um yeah you just gave up at least half your shit to her. So you're just going to fuck and that's it. She's going to fuck your friends. Even the fat one.
As a female in the reverse think about what I just said... you want him fucking them and the fat one?
This is something you should seriously think about if anything legal could be about it... just saying.
A marriage is when you commit yourself to a person exclusively, even a polygamous marriage is still exclusive in the "exclusive club" sense, but an open one? Thats just acting like you're single and a whore.
If you look at sex as only an expression of love and intimacy, an open relationship doesn't make sense. If you broaden your view of sex to include it as potentially purely recreational and a source of entertainment, it doesn't seem so far-fetched that an open relationship can work and thrive. You can even argue that an open relationship is healthier because jealousy isn't there to poison the relationship.
Somebody said "to learn to ride two horses at once you must first learn to ride one" implying that it's not something people should think about before they have made a successful normal marriage.
I'm okay with it if that's what the couple talks about and agrees on. I think I can sort of get it too... marriage comes with some wonderful parts and maybe both want the added sexual adventure of other partners.
Not sure if I could do it. Maybe a three way at times. Some people are into that though. Does it happen right away or after married for a bit they agree?
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Anonymous
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I'm in one. We set rules and boundaries to make it work and insofar we've had no problems or drama and we love each other very much.
An open relationship means you’re unable to dedicate yourself to just one person as your partner, which is the entire point of a relationship. “Open” basically means fake or incomplete.
@anon1903 Islam ain’t idiotic. However, each of the women must accept the other women, that is be OK with polygyny, and the man has to care and love all of them.
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