It depends, if you get it right the first time, why should you try others? On the other hand, if in your heart you know there are better options, then maybe you should.
Basically what I'm saying is, if you have the specs of your ideal partner, does he hit the ones that matter and others you didn't realize you need or is he just there?
Guys care about her past B count so if it nothing.. gold also both genders go walls up or player mode after first heartbreak but if first is their last
My girlfriend is my first girlfriend. She'll also probably be my only as we both want to get married, but COVID-19 and my issues obtaining a job due to it has put any plans on the back burner. Neither of us is a virgin currently, but all of our sexual experiences have been with each other. I think the wonder of what others would be like is constant for those who only have one. We're the minority now.
Its a bit too late for all this but yes it's best you date more than one person during the dating phase in order to determine who best fits you. But you're already planning a bridal shower so it's a but late. Men don't care if you're a Virgin or not but I will say I've heard Men say prefer experienced because virgins are annoying and just lay there
Did you even talk to other guys? I would say that being in a serious relationship with only one guy before marriage isn't a mistake. But being a virgin who is marrying someone who isn't a virgin is usually a mistake.
It mostly boils down to values. When there are strong values that are at odds between two people, it creates a weak spot in their relationship for various reasons. So different angles we can look at:
1. Just from what I've seen, people who share a similar level of life experience tend to do better. I mean this in a general sense, like not marrying someone who has two kids when you have none.
2. Most people who are waiting for marriage see their body as something sacred and only for their spouse. If you are such a person but your spouse does not see it that way, you are going to feel devalued and underappreciated.
3. Married people with a body count of 1 report the highest marital satisfaction when looking at marriage as co-related to body count. I can provide a source of you would like. So the deal is better for the guy, statistically, but worse for her.
4. Once kids are in the picture, all problems that value differences cause are going to be amplified.
5. People who see no value in saving themselves for marriage are typically going to miss being able to have sex with other people or just generally not be completely satisfied with just their spouse. They probably won't tell their spouse that, but quite frankly it's not something they can hide well enough that it matters. I saw a question on here several weeks back asking if married people ever miss being able to have sex with someone other than their spouse. I read through the nearly 30 replies from men, only about two or three said no. Which is not surprising. People who see sex as something special between two married people are much less likely to feel that way because it's gross and wrong to them. But people who see sex as just a fun activity that you could do with pretty much anyone and any amount of people, even though they won't admit that's how they see it, are much more likely to have those thoughts because by that line of reasoning it is both logical and justifiable. A person who was a virgin at marriage is going to have a hard time accepting that though.
And whenever you have values that are not compatible, then either the two of you are going to have to constantly be fighting to try to teach your kids your own values more so than the other parent, or one parents values are going to have to be cast to the side. I don't know if I explained that efficiently lol but basically it just forces both spouses to face the fact that at least one person is more or less wrong in their beliefs.
@LazerBean Ohhhhh. Yes; you are SO right! That is the reason why I don't want to marry a "born again virgin.". Because even if she says she's holy and pure and everything NOW, she still had a past and she can't deny that. And I don't want her raising my daughters if we have any.
Right. And people can learn values when their older, so if two people with a sexual past but have both gained values afterwards can be a good match. But never a virgin with a non virgin. It's always just better for everyone to not make those mistakes to begin with.
But also, I can never trust people that say, "Oh, I regret what I did in the past, and I've reformed my ways." Because how do I know that they didn't just get it out of their system? People are incredibly dishonest, and they'll spin something in whatever way they can to make themselves look good.
Indeed, but that goes for both people in the last situation I described so it's an even playing field. For me to believe them, it would definitely have to be a situation where I have witnessed them over a long period of time completely change. I have seen it happen though.
FACTS. Any friend that does that shows a complete disrespect of boundaries and lack of support. I wouldn't hit them but I'd kick them out of my wedding events.
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It depends, if you get it right the first time, why should you try others? On the other hand, if in your heart you know there are better options, then maybe you should.
Basically what I'm saying is, if you have the specs of your ideal partner, does he hit the ones that matter and others you didn't realize you need or is he just there?
Seems to be best
Guys care about her past B count so if it nothing.. gold also both genders go walls up or player mode after first heartbreak but if first is their last
they both win
I don't think so because that's kind of how it's supposed to be
If you love him and he loves you and you both treat each other with respect and are both happy, then I don't see an issue
My girlfriend is my first girlfriend. She'll also probably be my only as we both want to get married, but COVID-19 and my issues obtaining a job due to it has put any plans on the back burner. Neither of us is a virgin currently, but all of our sexual experiences have been with each other. I think the wonder of what others would be like is constant for those who only have one. We're the minority now.
Update: He proposed way too soon. Why would you propose without even knowing if your SO has a sexual history?
Its a bit too late for all this but yes it's best you date more than one person during the dating phase in order to determine who best fits you. But you're already planning a bridal shower so it's a but late. Men don't care if you're a Virgin or not but I will say I've heard Men say prefer experienced because virgins are annoying and just lay there
Did you even talk to other guys? I would say that being in a serious relationship with only one guy before marriage isn't a mistake. But being a virgin who is marrying someone who isn't a virgin is usually a mistake.
@LazerBean That's quite a hot take. Would you mind elaborating?
(I think I agree with you. I just want to hear more of your reasoning.)
Elaborate on the second sentence, the third, or both?
The third one; sorry.
@LazerBean
Sorry, just got back from weekend camping.
It mostly boils down to values. When there are strong values that are at odds between two people, it creates a weak spot in their relationship for various reasons. So different angles we can look at:
1. Just from what I've seen, people who share a similar level of life experience tend to do better. I mean this in a general sense, like not marrying someone who has two kids when you have none.
2. Most people who are waiting for marriage see their body as something sacred and only for their spouse. If you are such a person but your spouse does not see it that way, you are going to feel devalued and underappreciated.
3. Married people with a body count of 1 report the highest marital satisfaction when looking at marriage as co-related to body count. I can provide a source of you would like. So the deal is better for the guy, statistically, but worse for her.
4. Once kids are in the picture, all problems that value differences cause are going to be amplified.
( had to do 2 parts because of word count limit)
5. People who see no value in saving themselves for marriage are typically going to miss being able to have sex with other people or just generally not be completely satisfied with just their spouse. They probably won't tell their spouse that, but quite frankly it's not something they can hide well enough that it matters. I saw a question on here several weeks back asking if married people ever miss being able to have sex with someone other than their spouse. I read through the nearly 30 replies from men, only about two or three said no. Which is not surprising. People who see sex as something special between two married people are much less likely to feel that way because it's gross and wrong to them. But people who see sex as just a fun activity that you could do with pretty much anyone and any amount of people, even though they won't admit that's how they see it, are much more likely to have those thoughts because by that line of reasoning it is both logical and justifiable. A person who was a virgin at marriage is going to have a hard time accepting that though.
Oh- nice! I hope guys had a fun time.
1. I agree.
2. I also agree.
3. Yep đź‘Ť
4. What do you mean?
5. Oh yeah; definitely.
We did, it was fun!
And whenever you have values that are not compatible, then either the two of you are going to have to constantly be fighting to try to teach your kids your own values more so than the other parent, or one parents values are going to have to be cast to the side. I don't know if I explained that efficiently lol but basically it just forces both spouses to face the fact that at least one person is more or less wrong in their beliefs.
@LazerBean Ohhhhh. Yes; you are SO right!
That is the reason why I don't want to marry a "born again virgin.". Because even if she says she's holy and pure and everything NOW, she still had a past and she can't deny that. And I don't want her raising my daughters if we have any.
Right. And people can learn values when their older, so if two people with a sexual past but have both gained values afterwards can be a good match. But never a virgin with a non virgin. It's always just better for everyone to not make those mistakes to begin with.
@LazerBean I agree.
But also, I can never trust people that say, "Oh, I regret what I did in the past, and I've reformed my ways."
Because how do I know that they didn't just get it out of their system? People are incredibly dishonest, and they'll spin something in whatever way they can to make themselves look good.
Indeed, but that goes for both people in the last situation I described so it's an even playing field. For me to believe them, it would definitely have to be a situation where I have witnessed them over a long period of time completely change. I have seen it happen though.
@LazerBean Okay
it sounds like your friend is trying to sabotage you and your relationship. if i were you, she'd lose her maid of honor status in a second.
Your "best friend" is an asshole, and if you are even considering cheating on your fiance, so are you.
Sounds like she is just jealous and wants you to cheat so your guy leaves too.
You are doing all right n correct n thats how it should be... dont listen to that stupid ideas
Ideally good have had a relationship or liaison before but it's pointless now. Work it out in marriage and ignore your friend.
Your friend needs to know her place. She just seems jealous that you got lucky and found someone on your first try.
One day You will be sorry. Many couples Who even Go through a Relationship Rut, Miss What they Never Did... xx
I would never marry without knowing someone fully. That’s like playing lotto and expecting to win.
The friend needs to mind her own business though. The person you have feelings for is your fiancé.
If my 'friends' were telling me to cheat on my future wife I'd beat the shit out of them.
Nice đź‘Ť
FACTS. Any friend that does that shows a complete disrespect of boundaries and lack of support. I wouldn't hit them but I'd kick them out of my wedding events.
My dad and mom dated many people before they met. They're happily married 35+
Yes because eventually you’ll want to sample the other fruits not just the one
Your maid of honor sounds like a retard. She should really be called a maid of dishonor.
"She said guys preferred experienced women so I better do it fast b4 he finds out."
Yeah--she's definitely a retard. She's projecting her love of dudes who've gotten a lot of ass onto guys.
Tell me who your friend is and i'll tell you who you are.
ooooo. @Gloree you're going to let this anon dude talk to you like that?
@BUTIMRIGHTTHO I was going to address him but decided he was not worth my time. thanks for mentioning.
Understood. I hope he finds out. Go cuck that guy instead.
What on earth are you talking about
That's a good question. I've only had two relationships so far.
Unless they are 100% certain its the right person for them then yes its a mistake.