He doesn't celebrate birthdays?

[dollme777]

So my birthday was today and I spent it with my boyfriend...I guess he thought I was expecting some extravagant gift or a present of some type because I got him something for his birthday...well he didn't get me anything because he said that he doesn't celebrate birthdays he even said that on his birthday and this is for no particular reason but I told him that the simple things make me happy and just taking me out somewhere nice would make me happy. So he took me to a movie an dinner...when I got home my mom asked me what did he do for me and she kinda talked it down and said he didn't even bother to give you something you would remember? And now I just feel bad...like I was stupid for accepting that he didn't go out and buy me anything... should he have done more for me its the first birthday for our relationship and I have been with him for 10 months

Updates

+1 y

I was happy with what he did but does the fact he didn't go all out on my birthday for me show my worth to him

Updates

+1 y

I'm not sure how to go about saying something to him because I acted all happy? And I don't want to come off sounding dumb

[releberh]

Explain to your mom that he did get you something. He gave you dinner and a movie. That's nice and you don't need some pretty bauble to make your birthday special. You were pleased with what he did. I think that was insensitive and a little rude/mean/judgmental of your mom to say.

If he still does the regular holidays-Christmas, Valentine's Day (especially Christmas) then I wouldn't see a problem with it.

And I don't think money is really an issue. If that were so, I'm sure you would have been happy with him spending your movie ticket money on a stuffed animal or jewelry. Especially since he told you at his birthday that he didn't do gifts.

You could always talk to him about it. I'm sure if this relationship prospers, you will want your children to have birthday presents. Although that could be thinking too far ahead.

As long as you were pleased with you birthday, I think you don't need a pretty bauble to make it better. He obviously cares about you.

You could mention to him what your mom said, but only do so with the intention of telling him you were happy with what he got you, not that you thought he should have done more. You would make him feel bad saying that.

Of course, I don't know the guy. You do. So ultimately you know if he was being a cheapo, saying this because he didn't want to spend money on your gifts or you on him. Based on what you said, I don't believe this. He seems like a caring guy, who doesn't like to do birthday presents. Best of luck.

[Similipoulette]

Well, he ended up taking you to a movie and a dinner. But you had to ask for him to do it. I do believe that if you want something you gotta ask sometimes because people can't read your mind, but it's your birthday. Even if he doesn't celebrate birthdays, you do, so he should have thought about taking you to a movie and dinner on his own.

[flchickypoo]

honestly I don't know the situation but its probably because he didn't really have the money to do more...your mom is older and dates older men that have more money to buy gifts and do dinner and a movie...be lucky he remembered your birthday at all and don't listen to your mom for relationship advice they don't know everything

[scottsadork]

if he doesn't celebrate birthdays, then you shouldnt expect him to magically change that just for you without any explanation. I know many people who don't celebrate birthdays and other things. their families never did it, and so they don't either.

the thing is though, if you do want him to get you something, you should have made your feelings about the issue clear before hand. the fact that you did explain to him that you just wanted him to take you out, and he did, shows that he does care.

if you let him know that events like this matter to you, then he will be aware, and should handle the situation appropriately. expecting jewelry for a birthday is just being greedy. a card and some flowers is all anyone should really expect.

he may have just been acting cheap though. does he do this with everyones birthday? does he still recieve presents from his own family on his birthday then pretend he doesn't celebrate it? how did he respond when you started talking about your own birthday coming up? did he immediately assert that he wouldn't be celebrating it? did you make your own feelings 100% crystal clear about the issue (which women NEVER do)

[The_Fromance]

Even if he doesn't celebrate birthdays, you sure do, and regardless of what he thinks, you got him something for his birthday. In my opinion, he really should have gotten you something. Sounds like he's just being cheap and either didn't want to waste the money or time to get you a gift, or maybe he just didn't see that gifts are that important to you. I'd talk to him about it and make sure he understands what that meant to you.

[hardygirl01]

A movie and dinner? For your birthday?! That would just be like any random date. He should've done more and at least have gotten you SOMETHING!

[Titi18]

he should have done more...