Ok, that is it. Everyone just gives you so useless answers "Honey that's a lot! What did you expect" "I am not into material things" "Love is not measure by what he gives you" etc etc etc. All useless in my opinion, you already know that. Is not about you being materialistic, his gift just "bothered" you for some reason. And that is ok. We do not control what we feel sometimes.
IMHO it does not matter if you are right or wrong to have felt disappointed on his gift. Like you mention on your responses, you did spent a reasonable amount on his gift. If you ask me, $200 is expensive regardless of your income, it is not a "cheap/whatever" gift. Now, he bought you a hoodie you liked for $50. Now, if you ask me, I think his gift is extremely boring and maybe even inappropriate (a hoodie that I want? Come on, I can buy that for myself if I want). And I think that is why you felt disappointed, it was a boring, no creativity kind of gift. Let us remember that he paid for the hoodie, the movies and dinner, so he did end up spending (maybe) the same amount you did, but that is not the point. I think that the way it should work is like this:
If the boyfriend receives a gift from his girlfriend worth $200, then the guy should spend at least that amount in something nice for you (e. g., Jewellery) Note: This gift will only be for YOU, it is something that is YOURS only (possession). If he wants to do dinner and movies after and wants to pay you (treat you) for it then great! But that is just a bonus because he is being part of the experience and he is benefiting too (he ate etc).
So from this perspective, he did not handle things well, he spent 1/4 ($50) of what you spent his gift ($200) and he did it in an "ok" gift (no creativity whatsoever). So you feeling this way is normal and expected in my opinion.
*Quick note here, I am assuming he can spend $200 on a gift to you. If he is poor and you are rich I do not think you would posting this question at all. You would be happy with what he gave you. You would "Understand" and actually be happy that even though he is struggling financially and cannot afford many things for him he tried to buy you something. But even in that case, I do not think we put the effort enough, and that bothers me, which bothers you too I know!
Is this a common thing, where women get jealous and competitive about the gifts their girlfriends receive?
My advice would be not to compare your relationship with other people's relationships. It sounds like your boyfriend is making a genuine effort to make your birthday cool. Believe it or not, there's not a massive abundance of guys that care enough to do that. Appreciate him.
I think what he gave you for being together only six months was a lot!
If anything, you went overboard on giving him a $200 gift.
The thing to look at is how much he and you earn. If $200 was nothing to you if you make lots of money, then it is okay. If your boyfriend doesn't make a ton of money, $50, a dinner, and a movie is a lot!
I am 21 yo like you and the most expensive gift i ever got from my old boyfriend (Greg) when i turned 18 yo was a dinner at a really nice japanese restaurant, a cake there, and he bought me a gorgeous waist bracelet (i saw the recipt and it cost $55). He invited 2 of my sisters and their bfs to dinner with us. Greg made about $100k+ working as a US marshal.
My current boyfriend (and probably my husband if things work out), owns his own pizza place and doesn't have a ton of money. i have been with him since April this year. For my 21st bday, him, me, and 4 of my gfs went bar hopping. My adopted dad and mom gave me $500, most of which spent on drinks and food. My boyfriend David gave me a bracelet and a anklet that he bought on sale 2 months b4 my bday. They still cost him $60. Regular price was like $150.
I got kinda mad at him coz i know how much he makes and I would have been happy with a card, a small gift, and dinner.
So, you getting what you got 4 only being together 6 months is a "good" gift.
As you get more involved with him, more pricey gifts would be appropriate. HOWEVER, the cost of the gift is not what to focus on! You need to focus on the thoughts and planning that goes into a gift.
Girls that focus on the price of a gift or worse, dating a guy coz of how much $$ he makes, is a gold digger, whether she plans on it or not. I have a friend of boyfriend that when he was injured on the job and no longer could make $38 /hr, his wife left him and divorced him coz she couldn't spend $$ like she had for 10 years.
Just my 2 cents worth. If you wanna talk to a girl your age that is in the same place in life, email me. I would love to talk!
I would be happy just to have his time. I'd want us to make dinner together, eat and have a couple drinks. Watch a movie, take a walk, go for a swim or a dip in the hot tub. Just doing whatever we love to do together. I don't need items, or money or expensive things. Sure surprises are nice, but what really matters is how you could make do with what you have and still be satisfied. Literally just spending time with that person and laughing with them, being yourself and happy!! Just all I could want on my birthday. Love, happiness. 😊
I wouldn't expect anything. I'm not really into gifts and I actually don't like for people to spend a lot of money on me. I would just be happy spending time with him honestly. Maybe that makes me weird but... oh well.
In your case, I think dinner and a movie is sweet and he spent $50 for that jacket. How much did you want him to spend?
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"expecting a little bit more"
Wtf? What WERE you expecting? In terms of monetary value and in terms of utility and in terms of getting to spend time and doing things together, that makes sense to me. You might claim that the only difference is that it would be more "personal" if instead of "going out for dinner", he would put it together himself, or you'd cook it together. But otherwise, if I heard that I'm doing all these things to try to make you happy then she's like "well I got 3 presents but I expected something more", then I'd be pissed.
he bought you a jacket, is taking you out to eat and a movie and I'm guessing he let you pick the restaurant and movie
want him to buy you a mansion too while he's at it?
I think your expectation should depend on how long you've been together.
If you've only been together for a short amount of time then it's going to be more superficial (like going to a movie you've talked about wanting to see or to a restaurant you've mentioned you liked). The longer it's been, hopefully the better they know you and who you are and what you like. I'm not referring to material things here, i mean this in terms of thoughtfulness, that's the expectation how much thoughts been put in.
This is going to sound silly and stupid but I'd love it so much if we went to a bakery and picked out a little blank cake and decorated it together and took stupid pictures before we ate it. Maybe with margaritas.
I want to have fun on my birthday and I really don't care about anything else. If it's a fun evening with my favorite person, that is all I need. The time we give each other is a more valuable gift than something from the store. If he got me a present I'd be grateful and I'd cherish it, but money is tight sometimes for both of us, so it's not a big deal.
Poor guy... then he'll just get a bj for his bday :(
I smell GD over here :/
He's only known you for 6 months and you're upset he's not throwing money at you?
Talk about spoiled brat.
"Waaaah, mah faycbuk gurlfrans are getting moar expensive shiz than meeee, so unfair!!!"
He hardly knows you. Who in their right mind would spend oodles of dosh on someone they might break up with in the near future? 6 months in usually around the time when people start to show their true colours and start splitting.
He would be a fool to waste a lot of money on someone that might be gone very soon. You should be happy with what he's already planned: he got you a practical gift, is taking you out for dinner and a movie and you think it's not good enough because you can't compete on the Facebook bragging arena?
Grow the fuck up.
Honestly I don't expect anything. I'd be extremely grateful to get what he's given you. Sometimes I don't go out for my birthday and sometimes i get bday/xmas gifts combined which means i dont even get them on my birthday. My boyfriend has given me jewelry before, but we have been together for over four years and things were very spread out. Year one he gave me a ring. Year two or three (i actually can't remember) he gave me a necklace and a ring. And last bday/xmas/vday he gave me pandora charms for my pandora bracelet (the bracelet i bought for myself). appreciate what is given to you!
I expect him to say happy birthday. I would want him to say something lovey to me, from his heart of course. I would want a chocolate bar or two. And the rest is up to him.
I know it's hard not to imagine something miraculous, but don't. I use to get excited about gifts from my mom for my birthday, and they were never what I imagined. Yeah, I have a crazy imagination. People don't have to and should've have to wow you with gifts and give you wonders to show love. The fact they they gave you something is good enough, especially in your case, when you've been dating for only a couple months.
Effort means a hell of a lot more to me than money. I would rather him think of something for us to do that he would know I'd like than just start pulling bills out of his wallet.
Like make us pancakes and we can lay around watching netflix all day for all I care. It's not that hard. lol
You have been together only 6 months and you want basically a $110 gift, maybe more depending on where you go for dinner and what you do after? if you go to a club, or movie, it could be much more. That is completely absurd. If my current girlfriend had a birtday at the 6 month point I would have taken her to dinner at maybe a slightly nicer place. so that is at least $50 with tip, maybe more. honestly that is too much. You don't deserve any birthday, Christmas, or anything else until you have been together at least a year.
I was married 25 years. I didn't spend $100 on her for her bday, nor did she for mine.
If my girlfriend bought me something of very high value, or bought many things that together cost a lot, I would naturally be upset.
Upset because she really didn't need to spend all that much! I enjoy practical, useful things, or little trinkets that may be cheap and small but still worth keeping because of who it came from!
Plus it totally makes my life harder when it comes to my birthday because I need to reciprocate the same amount/quantity. ;)
For that year's birthday, I would buy something of the same value and quantity back for her. But I'll also mention to her how we shouldn't be compelled to buy expensive stuff to show our love. Hopefully next year we get some proper presents :)
A present AND dinner and a movie? You lucky dog!
$50 is expensive! So is dinner and a movie. I don't know why you're disappointed lol
I expect him to acknowledge it in some way shape or form. I get excited if he remembers to call me on it lol
He's pretty good about my birthday, to be honest, but still, I only ask that he acknowledge that I was born that day.
I'd be more than happy with your boyfriends efforts. I don't look for anything over the top, I like the personal touch and to spend time with him and treated.
I don't expect anything. I just hope he is considerate and remembers it... even if he had to put it on his phone as a reminder or something. What I would want is to have a quiet evening at home with just us. We can have dinner, watch some movies and then he can give me a massage and probably sex.
If my boyfriend did what yours did, I would be happy with that. I don't actually like receiving gifts, it makes me uncomfortable. But if I picked something out and he insisted, then I guess that's ok. I like the dinner and movie date.
I don't expect anything. That way, I'm happy no matter what he gets me. Neither of us make a huge amount of money, so we'd probably just go out to eat, maybe see a movie. I'm more concerned about being together on special occasions, rather than what I get.
If he is also paying for dinner and the movie then I think you're being incredibly spoilt and rude.. my boyfriend took me out to dinner and a movie all paid for by him, and I was happy, I didn't need a present.. then again we have been together for over 3 years.
I'd be happy with that. Are you serious?
I expect that he'll give me something that shows he put some thought into it / knows me or take me somewhere special. Basically I'd just expect that he does something nice for me to acknowledge my birthday and that I'm special to him. I couldn't care less wgat it cost.
Holy hell poor guy. But I guess he must like pain so he's always got you... at least until you overstep your means and he leaves. I want to say I am pissed that girls like you exist but its really pointless, especially over the internet. Best of luck with whatever the fuck it is you are doing.
My boyfriend should know at least a little bit of what I like. we've known each other and have been friends for a year, and been a couple off and on eight months. But considering that he only gives his mom a card and took her out to eat, Lol imma say he's not very creative with the whole gift giving thing, but God I love him XD. Thankfully, I'm the party head and know how to have a good time minus the alcoholic drinks.
Hugs and affection! What makes me really happy is the experience. Take me hiking, give me a picnic in a canoe, show me a place I've never seen, or just... give me an hour or two snuggled up together feeling warm and safe. Normal presents (like clothes, jewelry, etc.) don't matter to me, tbh.
What your boyfriend decided to do would definitely be fine by me. He knows you like the jacket, dinner is a lovely treat, and the movie is something fun to see together. What were you expecting?
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