News Headlines that just barely made it past the printers!

Jjpayne

“give us your take on picking up women”-your_ego
MyTake on Picking Up a Date

“I like to see one written about people who live day by day with dealing with Diabetes i believe that is something we all need to be aware of more.”- GoodGuyBreakingBad
5 Quick Facts About Diabetes

“Anything from Calvin and Hobbes or get fuzzy comics would be cool or something like jay Leno's " Headlines"”- @binarybabe001

Don’t be shy to request a MyTake. If you got an idea, I will try to do it.
Gaggers, what is a my take that you would like to see written?


In the same case you can ask me for idea and I will give you something of interest to write about too. I’m pretty flexible and I just want to have fun together in the gag community.

I am honestly pretty lazy in some cases and if I really wanted to do this right I would good through various papers and pick out my own headlines but I am going to let some articles do it for me and I will pick out my favorites. These are not Leno’s exact articles he used per say but they have the heart behind them.

So here we go!

And in the News Today, People Discovered They Can Read a Newspaper! or Funny Headlines!

And in the News Today, People Discovered They Can Read a Newspaper! or Funny Headlines!

Ok, so I see Jake Butt. But"t" (Tee Hee), don't you think they could have chosen better wording for this one. I mean come on. Someone has to looking at this and saying "Hey man, that doesn't sound right" The only thing I can think of is that they got away with doing it. How else are you going to get away with a title like that. And poor Jake, is going to be the butt of everyone's jokes....

And in the News Today, People Discovered They Can Read a Newspaper! or Funny Headlines!

Ok now let's be honest, this is a fake magazine, I have seen them before but they are a laugh to read. Satan vs. Bigfoot in barfight and rednecks found Osama Bin Laden or aliens, classic stuff! But this one has a terrible line to boot! So what was it first, did you shoot it then found it dead or did you shoot it after you found it dead? And it's a World-Famous photograph too! Photoshopped...cough...Photoshopped... Also are we more shocked by the bad news line or the fact that is says 23-ib grasshopper..?

And in the News Today, People Discovered They Can Read a Newspaper! or Funny Headlines!

Ahhh, nothing like a good "the devil is beating his wife" ..oh I mean a "Monkey's wedding"...Oh i'm sorry I mean "the wolf is giving birth"..no wait, that's not right.. "pineapple rain"? or is it "liquid sun"...? a Sunshower! That's it! https://www4.uwm.edu/FLL/linguistics/dialect/staticmaps/q_80.html

But.... wait a minute the Apocalypse is happening on Friday, oh dam, that's going to be messing up the sunshower! I think I am just going to have to prepare for fire and brimstone.

]

And in the News Today, People Discovered They Can Read a Newspaper! or Funny Headlines!

Oh, good I'm glad that Missippi's learning how to spelt better! How does this stuff make it past the proof readers!? That I would like to know! If I worked at the newspaper, somebody would be getting fired or drug tested, I will tell you that!

And in the News Today, People Discovered They Can Read a Newspaper! or Funny Headlines!

Sounds about right. Now was that the plumber or the lack of a bathroom seal?

And in the News Today, People Discovered They Can Read a Newspaper! or Funny Headlines!

Very good!! Now be sure to count the others! They have their names on that too! Their families must be very proud!

And in the News Today, People Discovered They Can Read a Newspaper! or Funny Headlines!

HONESTLY!!! HONESTLY!!! NEW YORK POST!!! You honestly did not see this!!!! Come on! Please!

I get it, it's his name but this honestly did not go through you head. I suppose this would be clever if you were trying to call him a dick. I wonder who picked this up someone concerned about politics or someone with bad eyes concerned for their libido.

And in the News Today, People Discovered They Can Read a Newspaper! or Funny Headlines!

I think that's a great starting point! The woman was missing the moment that we established that she was lost. I wonder what the article is about?

And in the News Today, People Discovered They Can Read a Newspaper! or Funny Headlines!

Ok, I get it, you have a craving for the McNuggets but can't you just go to another McDonalds? Talk about an extreme version of a dissatisfied customer! I have got to hear that phone conversation!

And in the News Today, People Discovered They Can Read a Newspaper! or Funny Headlines!

Alright, it is not in the newspaper but it was so good I had to share it! I wonder if it's real.... I see a blacked out number which scares me. I really hope some poor old lady did not find that gorgeous creature in her arms but it also makes me wonder what was up with Dan... And "Fe-" male, don't tell me Dan, I don't want to know!

And in the News Today, People Discovered They Can Read a Newspaper! or Funny Headlines!

Huh, who knew? But it looks to be about birds it however is a great starting headline! What also could water down some (pun intended), is how other countries like England view the word tits. So, normal headline but great to us foreigners! Remember only you can prevent acid rain on your tits!

And in the News Today, People Discovered They Can Read a Newspaper! or Funny Headlines!

I know right! These guys really know how to quench my thirst. Man, after a long day all I want to do is sit back and drink a nice cool glass of cow urine. Nothing is more refreshing, maybe except for badger milk.

And in the News Today, People Discovered They Can Read a Newspaper! or Funny Headlines!

Well now, that sounds exciting! I think that's an item for my bucket list! That's also a great way to start your life story! And can I just say, I think he got the point!

And in the News Today, People Discovered They Can Read a Newspaper! or Funny Headlines!

Seems simple enough of a headline, until you bring it next to the water cooler. And just let the questions roll.. "How big was it?" "What color was it?" "Did you damage his paint job?" All kidding aside, at least she was awarded something for denting her bumper.

And in the News Today, People Discovered They Can Read a Newspaper! or Funny Headlines!

Talk about a role model and a motivator! It gets pretty bad when you have to resort to stealing your cupcakes.....

Here are two that from a source that said they were some of Leno's favorites

And in the News Today, People Discovered They Can Read a Newspaper! or Funny Headlines!

Wow lady, it sounds like you have a lot of experience and you are only in two years of your marriage to know that much! You are some one to follow to be sure! Let me know when you get your next divorce. You know what they say, fourth time is a charm!

And in the News Today, People Discovered They Can Read a Newspaper! or Funny Headlines!

Well dam, I mean that's pretty straight forward.... I guess you need the morning to really prepare for the hell you are going to experience at night. I wonder if he is optimist?

and now for the bonus!

“Anything from Calvin and Hobbes"

These two stood out to me among the top search results...

And in the News Today, People Discovered They Can Read a Newspaper! or Funny Headlines!

Boy, cheating is getting, harder and harder these days.....

And in the News Today, People Discovered They Can Read a Newspaper! or Funny Headlines!

You know with the separation of church and state, you might just have one!

Thanks @binarybabe001 this was kind of fun!

I hope you other gaggers enjoyed this and I look forward to seeing your comments and favorite headlines!



Include a caption for your image…

News Headlines that just barely made it past the printers!
3 Opinion