I had a test yesterday and the proctor was from some other country. Due to some issues I was reassigned another proctor named - Sandy (the previous one being Edgar).
I assumed that this was someone from my country as Sandy is a fairly common boy-name here. I replied - "Ok sir".
Then the proctor spoke and I was embarrassed to find out that it was a female proctor (probably American). I should've apologised (but I didn't... I was so anxious about the test that I forgot my manners 🙂). She was very nice to me and very polite. Still I should've apologised 😅
How would you feel if someone addressed you like this? Also if you knew that the other person comes from a different part of the world with differing cultures.
Would you feel offended if someone addressed you by the wrong gender?
I have developed a thick skin at a very young age in this case. When I was a little kid, I had extremely feminine voice. My dad had to attend much more phone calls than he ever could, so he told me to randomly attend phone calls and tell them that he isn't home.
The people used to refer me as a girl because of voice. Being a soft hearted, I surprisingly took it well. Maybe because of repeated experiences. In addition to that, when those people used to visit us, they used to ask me "so, where's your sister, son?". I used to be like "But I have no sister". And then they used to ask me about the girl who attended their phone calls.
This was fixed by puberty but not everything. I used to be made fun of because of my ultra soft hands in school. At first I used to think that my friends are exaggerating and they are much into sports while I'm much into video games, should explain my soft hands. But when I grew up a little more, leaving the concept of cooties in the past, and started shaking hands with girls, I finally realized that, to this day, I have softer hands than girls!! One day, my mom was holding my hands and then she got triggered by my hands and slapped me because of how soft my hands are and she told me to stop being a girl and do something about it. That was one of the only two instances when my mom has ever hit me.
So yeah, physically & verbally, I've been called a girl but I didn't let it get in my way. When I think of those experiences, I just chuckle and touch my manly beard.
___
Similarly, I think your Proctor must have had enough experiences of being called a "sir" online that she just doesn't care anymore.
You didn't mean any offense and you did not know the accrual gender of the doctor to begin with, so not only in that case but also in mine, should it happen, I would have no problem. If you were to keep calling me "ma'am" after learning that I am a man, then we would have a word about it, of course, but nothing else.
Doesn't really bother me to be honest; I find it humorous-
Apparently I have a deep voice when talking on the phone and ALL THE TIME people will call me "sir" instead of ma'am. It used to annoy me, but as I got older, I got over it. Usually when they hear my name, [which is feminine and they realize they screwed up] they immediately correct themselves, haha.
Now if someone calls me a sir or him in person when I clearly look like a female? I might kick their ass or tell them off. Because at that point they're just being an a-hole or trying to annoy you.
Professionals like that are trained not to take things personally or get offended before they begin their clinical process and mostly all specialists accept those things, and being in the public eye, they get used to dealing with all kinds of conflicts, she probably forgot it by now.
Of course 😅 she probably didn't mind it at all. I'm just curious how others would feel. Also, even though she wasn't offended, it wasn't polite of me to not apologise. That's all 😅
Don’t sweat it. I once liked a guy who would literally drop things on the floor when he was emotionally distracted - it’s normal to have a mental blind spot where you forget things.
I have a really deep voice and I'm really hairy (see my profile picture to confirm the second point), so I don't remember it ever happening. If it ever did happen, I'd just laugh it off and probably start cracking jokes. Like whenever I'm asked to provide identification to purchase an alcoholic beverage because apparently I sometimes appear "too young". Again, have you seen my profile picture? 😂😂😂
I'm actually starting to question my gender identity.
So I'm used to "she", but I'm moving towards "they". I've been misgendered as a man before and I don't really care.
My ideal is to look sufficiently androgynous that I can pull off both a masc and a femme presentation. Or mix the two. I've never really felt "girly", but I've also never really felt like a guy. Just between and a mix.
I don't really care how people gender me as long as I know they're talking to me.
It's been about 3 times I've been called "sir" lol. I am female but have never been a girly girl, more of a tomboy. But most people still see I'm a girl. Hell there was one time someone said "yes sir or ma'am" and I thought "huh?" Lol. But I'm never offended, I just laugh.
No. Confused, maybe; my voice is pretty deep, and I have facial hair that most MEN can't match, but I don't consider women inferior, and don't have any part of my ego invested in "being male". In most cases, I'd just assume they weren't paying attention.
I would have... back in the day. But now a days, I can't care. YOu call me a dude or sir, yeah, i might feel a liiiiittle offended. But i've come to a conclusion- people cannot tell. Sooo i just gotta tell them gently or let it go. People really cannot tell i'm a lady. Soo the smart ones ask me quietly what's my pronouns, i tell them, and that's that.
Except mexicans and Asians or that minority I talked to today. They just assume I'm a dude, and they don't see my lipstick, boobs, or how I have a skirt on. :)
I would feel offended but I had people calling me names and not treating me like a human being so this wouldn't be an huge problem to me. If I noticed that they made a mistake due to their culture or language, I would try to be more understanding and I would forgive them.
Honestly it happened to me on multiple occasions I have a unisex name. One funny story before I got to college I was actually had dress to a male dormitory and I was so excited I got my paperwork in the Mail. And it was a males name as My roommate my father was so upset. But we called down A friend of mine that I went to high school went went before me and got my paperwork straight and I was finally back in a girl girl girl‘s dorm.
What is my name most people don’t know who walks through the door and I love surprising them.
Nah. I'd laugh and correct them. It's not a big deal to me. And I understand that you were probably a bit too confused to apologize in the moment haha. I'm sure she didn't think much of it.
try growing some skin. the world doesn't revolve around your mental instability. example: some people believe the world is flat. so shall we cancel all airtravel or ocean travel because they'll get scared of falling off the edge of the planet?
Maybe I think that´s rather a rhetorical or theoretical question because that literally never happened in real life. It happened online a couple of times but those where communications without a profile pic.
I would get offended to be honest, but that's just me. It would have been nice to apologize. Of course, if they didn't do it on accident, then I would completely understand, but I would still be a little bit hurt (though of course I would get over it).
No, I'm very awkward & socially-anxious, so I've actually made the same mistake due to nervousness. I would not be surprised if people made the same mistake as I've done.
IHappen a few times in chats, I dont care if they did not mean it to be wrong, even if they did its hardly a big "o no" there so much worst it hardly registur
No, you can call me whatever you damn well like! You can even just say, "Hey you! Oi!"
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
A little. I used to work at a job answering phones and I was frequently mistaken for a women. I chalked it up to when I talk friendly my voice kindness jumps an octave lol. In person I'm well over 6 feet and have been told I'm pretty physically imposing. So... it is what it is I guess.
i actually have kinda feminine real name , so whenever i queued to be called ( like on hospital) often they call me miss/mrs followed by my real names it had been like that since years so i get used to it
It doesn’t happen often since I have a beard almost to my navel. The only time I can remember, it was a guy approaching me from behind, who could only see my red overcoat and long hair.
I’ve never had anyone misgender me but I think if someone did I’d just assume it was an accident and not think much of it. I’ve called a guy ma’am before out of habit because I was around women all day. I clearly knew he looked like a man it just came out like that on accident. I’ve also called people the wrong name and a teacher mom before. It happens so I wouldn’t be bothered.
It would be funny if someone used the wrong gender pronoun for me lol, but if I was speaking to a transgender female and it is kinda obvious that she is not a real girl, I would try to use the pronoun that she prefers, I don’t want to hurt anyones feelings.
There are only 2 genders and if someone miss gendered me I wouldn't be offended i would be concerned and/or worried about the person maybe its simply bad eye sight or they could've some serious health or mental problems
If it was an accident it wouldn’t bother me. There are guys who have my first name so it’s happened once or twice. I don’t think she’s mad at you.
If someone did it mockingly, I'd get in their face. But the mistake you made was understandable and I'm sure she could tell that you were embarrassed by your faux pas. It was worth a chuckle. Beyond that, it's no big seal.
i was a metal head in the 90's i was mistaken for a girl many times. when called sweety or babe i just responded in kimd with my deep voice amd watched their friends mock them.
Not really. Honest mistake or not. Because its just obvious that I'm a guy. Unless they call me gay on purpose. But I still wouldn't mind if it's an honest mistake though.
I mean they can mistake me as a girl because I have a long hair but once they learn, they wouldn't call me that because I have a really deep voice, i don't wear dresses and i don't move like a girl
Well some names can be for either gender and probably those with such a name will be used to others having momentary gender confusion plus excuse nervousness in an examination.
I wouldn’t really care. I don’t think there could be mistaking my name for a woman, so I would definitely be confused if it happened. But I have more important things to worry about.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I don't care. And if you appear female I Willa dress you as such, if you appear male I will address you as such. That is as far as I'm willing to respect pronouns.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
I guess you couldn’t see them but that can be a unisex name, I would only be offended if they were looking at me and said the wrong gender, it’s never happened though
my first name has a female form spelled differently but pronounced the same. i don't care if someone messes it up. people "triggered" by such minutiae should seriously consider re-evaluating their priorities.
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