Can people disappoint you to the point of never reverting to your old personality?

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately I've changed by now. Nowadays I'm all for equal leadership in a relationship and ''go with the flow'' stance, screw this conservative, old-fashioned BS thing. Meanwhile I came to the US at age 3, I still had part of my culture. I took pride in presenting others to my family, even sometimes presented meals. I've been used by others, an ex boyfriend suddenly expected food all the time and taking advantage of everything. Someone even stole my money and I never found out who did it. I was giving, giving and others were taking and taking from me.

That old me is gone by now. Nowadays I don't even bother introducing a guy to my family (for what so he can then leave, take advantage again, etc), don't make any elaborated meal for anyone (you got two feet, make it yourself) I'm more straight forward, less expressive, etc.

My family doesn't want to welcome anyone new at this point. Can getting used, taken advantage of and encountering rotten people make you change so much to the point you literally abandon your culture?

[teamvic]

I mean perhaps, eventually someone will get tired of it. That being said I get that you don't like being taken advantage of and it's good to change but I just don't think you're taking exactly the right path. Kinda sounds like you're going down the asshole, don't care about anyone path, and if that's you're goal then great but if not I would tweak a little on how you approach things, like for example, you say why even introduce a new guy to the family if he's just gonna leave, that attitude is setting yourself up for failure because you're already assuming the relationship Is gonna fail, it's kinda like watching a new movie expecting it to be bad, you're too focused on the bad and not paying attention to anything else, anyway, another thing is the cooking for the guy you're with, I get that, I too believe relationships should be half and half but at the same time. Like for me personally I only know how to cook breakfast, other than that I'm screwed. So instead of thinking no I don't need to cook for you you can do it yourself, perhaps think , how about we cook for eachother. That's more of equal in a nice way, you way of equal is seems like every man for themselves.

I'm a big believer in I'll help you out if you've helped me out. I have family where I got their back no matter what, and I also have family where I wouldn't do a damn thing for them because they've never done anything for me. But what do I know

[Asker]

My family isn't interest in welcoming anyone new at this moment. It's been a year since I haven't introduce a guy to my family and won't unless it's a real, serious relationship leading towards commitment. I'm tired of temporary bfs that come and go... so is my family.