Can you actually be glad that a guy that was hurting you, lying, cheating on you has suddenly died and now you can see how bad of a person he was?

[sage2021]

It's hard for me to feel anything for my boyfriend that died a few weeks ago. Now that he's gone, I realize how much he hurt me, but he'd lie to me and he was so good at lying, I believed him. I'm not sure if he was even my boyfriend. He would tell people he was my fiance but I never said that about him. Now that I look at it, he never called me his girlfriend.
I am not planning on feeling bad that he died, because he was just using me for a place to live. We broke up the night before he died.
Is it unusual to just feel nothing at all for the dead person?

[OlderAndWiser]

Perhaps you are feeling numb, and you are delaying your reaction to these events. I would expect you to feel a combination of sadness, anger, resentment, relief, emptiness, and remorse, even though he was a bad boyfriend. You may start feeling some things gradually as you continue to think about your history with him.

[sage2021]

@OlderAndWiser
In believe in this case that won't happen. He stole my money the night before he died, so there's no chance in getting it back. All I can think about him is that all the good times and the laughter was all lies!!
He always needed something from me, and in the end he got what he came for. Too bad he died hours later 🤭🤗🤭🤗🤭🤗

[OlderAndWiser]

I had a very difficult relationship with my father and I felt very little sadness when he died. I thought it might catch up with me later, but it didn’t.

[sage2021]

@OlderAndWiser
His brother texted me a message and it said that he stole all of HIS money as well.
He had a life long history of doing bad things to people. I just really thought he would rip me off because I was so good to him.
Well God probably saw what he did to me because he died early the next morning. I pray that the Lord gave him a trip to the woodshed.

[OlderAndWiser]

Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord!

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[Juxtapose]

There's no polite way to ask this so I will come out with it. How are you almost 70 and you stay with trash dudes? As soon as somebody starts cheating and whatnot dump them, who cares what their excuses? Their actions speak louder than their words.

[Juxtapose]

*what their excuse is

[sage2021]

@Juxtapose
He was such a convincing liar. I think maybe even a pathological liar. He would either lie to me, or just not say anything - he would zip it u
Now, about the age thing. He had just turned 65 before he died and had ADHD so he acted kind of childish and hyper.
I met him in 2017 and he wasn't on meth. He left here for three years ago and came back on meth. By that time I couldn't even tell he was on meth. And I didn't even know what it was. He used to tell me he could stop anytime he wanted to. Before he moved back he promised he would stop it without a problem. LIAR LIAR
That's how he got back into my life.
I don't do drugs if any kind or drink.

[Juxtapose]

Please try to judge by actions and consistency instead. That will save you from even good liars.

[sage2021]

@Juxtapose
Thank you for caring. I don't think I will ever get mixed up with any man at all. I don't have the energy!

[Juxtapose]

I feel very much the same with women but I'm only getting older and I want companionship.

[sage2021]

@Juxtapose
Just be careful out there. Those bitches be crazy sometimes. I just cannot trust anyone because they lie to me. Then comes the heartache when you find out you were lied to. I'd rather be alone.

[FunkyMonkee]

It could happen.
30 years ago, my ex-sister and her flaming asshole hubby were living with us and he was a resperatory therapist that'd go to various peoples' houses every night to help them deal with their issues and he had a cold so, he was taking cough syrup but had also been drinking at the same time. It was a very cold snowy night and the roads were icy. He fell asleep at the wheel of his car, slid off the road, hit some girl in her car and then a tree which killed him. I was down in the living room watching t. v. around 3:00 a. m. just before going to bed when a state trooper knocked at the front door. I answered it and he said that George was dead. Just before going upstairs to get my ex-sister, said to myself, "One down, one to go.". The other was my brother who had also recently become a major league asshole!
A little over a decade later, he jumped off a bridge and killed himself and I said something similar to myself.

[sage2021]

@FunkyMonkee
Wow, that's a lot. Yeah, they don't know the cause of death yet. There were so many different things about him. We all know the con artist, but there was a genius side to him as well. He was really into astrophysics, astronomy. That was his passion in life. He could also do Einstein type math problems. Along with his ADHt, his mind was always busy and doing something. Then he just started acting weird. Real weird. But not weird enough to have not stolen all my money.

[exitseven]

There was a kid that bullied me in Jr high. One night he got into a beef with his old man and took his station wagon He ran it into a huge oak tree so hard the bark got tore off it. The car was totalled and he Was dead. I went to the wake with a couple of other kids. This was the first time I saw a dead person. He got pretty mangled up so his head was all made up and did not really look like him. I looked at his body and just thought it was one less asshole I would have to deal with

[Andres77]

Don’t glory in his death, but be glad that he’s not hurting you anymore. I’m sorry he did that to you. I’m glad he’s not doing it anymore.

[sage2021]

@Andres77
Thank you for your kind words. I needed to hear them. 🙂

[Andres77]

🙏🙏🙏

[BCRanger10]

I can most certainly understand the sentiment. I'd definitely caution against feeling glad though.

[Likes2drive]

I’m not sure glad is a good word for it but probably relieved. I’m sure that you have a good heart and still feel bad that he died even though he probably wasn’t a good person to you.

[sage2021]

@Likes2drive
Thanks for responding. That dude hurt so many people in his life all under the guises of being the good guy that would help a woman with stuff she needed done around the house. You know, man's work. He was always happy.
Yes, I am not going let him destroy the nice person I am. I am glad he won't have anyone else to hurt.

[Likes2drive]

I guess karma got him