Why do you find it hard to ask for help?

Question

RingOfFire · Accepted Answer

I hate it when I need help because I am a perfectionist and always feel I could do something better than someone else could. But I have come to recognize that there are times when there is just too much on my plate and I need someone else to share the workload. There are also times when I understand that someone else has more experience with something than I do and MIGHT be able to do it better and more efficiently. (MIGHT is the key word here. Just because someone has more experience in something does not automatically mean they can do it better.)

In short I have a hard time trusting people in general. So I don't trust them to help.

I know this is probably different than the kind of help you are talking about with this question, but since you didn't specify what you mean... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sonorous · Accepted Answer

I usually don't find it hard. But there have been times in the past where U have & there will be more. It's usually because I don't want to deal with a certain personality type. Like maybe the person is insufferable to be around so they'll make me feel worse for reaching out for help. Or maybe they wouldn't or couldn't help me in ways that I'd prefer someone to.

ZamerZ · Accepted Answer

I am usually very self-reliant because the majority of people prioritize themselves over helping others. No matter how much I've helped others in the past, when I asked for help I rarely received it. So that always left me with having to resolve things on my own and my way and enforced the mentality of "If I can't fix a problem, why and how would someone else?" I want to avoid being dependent on someone, getting disappointed and feeling incapable because I can't solve it myself.

ConfusedGirlie1234 · Accepted Answer

I find it really hard, because if I ask for help, then I feel like I depend on them, and I am at their mercy, and it scares me because I had some terrible experiences in the past.

CrimsonAngel09 · Answer

1) You are so used to how you have been now, that change fucking scares you. That you will completely become a stranger to yourself.

2) Too many people think mental illness is something you can just get over. Telling someone to get over a mental illness is like telling someone with broken legs to get up and walk. It took me over 10 years before I finally attempted to get help this year.

3) Too many people take mental illness lightly, despite some like what I deal with involves suicide. You hear stuff like:

"You should be happy, you have a roof over your head."

"You got a family, why are you sad for?"

"Other people have it worse than you."

4) You CAN get help, but you won't be 100% cured. I have one best friend with depression and anxiety, and another with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Despite having been to therapy, doctors, and taking medication, they aren't 100% better.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

I've learned, it's more about knowing what you can rely on who for.

But I always hesitate to ask for help because growing up, my parents shot down almost anything I wanted to do, so asking for help would kinda blow my cover.

And when they did help, they usually ended up making things worse.

If I can't trust my parents than who? Lol

But I had really similar experiences with other people too until I realized that you need to be able to tell what someone can help you with, and what someone cannot be trusted to help with.

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

Because people in general have a knack of disappointing me- they don't live up to my expectations, half ass the task or job I ask them to do, or complain the entire time they're helping you even though when you do something for them, they expect you to jump through hoops!

Or if I ask for them help, they expect something in return for helping you- quid pro quo. What happened to the days of being nice and helpful- not doing something because it benefits you?

I will ask for help if I have to or have no other choice, but I rather do things myself because at least I know it'll be done the way I want, when I want. And I won't have to deal with nonsense from others.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

In a highly individualist society that prides itself on being self-providing and self-serving, asking for help feels like a sign of failure. It can feel childish because the only acceptably “helpless” population is children and infants who don’t know how to take care of themselves and rely on their parents until the time they are able to become those independent individuals.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Many hands make light work as they say however too many cooks spoil the gravy.
As for me when I’m at home & I need help I simply ask a friend or neighbor & I always return the favor as well. If I’m at work I never ask for help because if I ask for help I kill my overtime or they send me some stupid, entitled, unqualified joker.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I am not ashamed or embarrassed to ask for help cause I’m not a proud person but it goes against my religious purpose to leech off others. I’m lucky there is a restaurant waking distance from my house and I can eat 2 meals a day for less than $10.00 a day.

msc545 · Answer

I usually can figure out things on my own and when I can't there's usually written material available. In a few cases I have recently asked others for help and had good results. I also am very open to helping others if they ask me to do so, although that doesn't happen very often.

ɹǝʇʇɐɥpɐW · Answer

I don't like to feel like an inconvenience to people, but most of all I don't like feeling indebted to them. I'd rather struggle through something in my own than feel like I owe someone for their help.

AaronKrieger · Answer

I have pride and we all know the answers ourselves to our problems, but people tend to inherently not want to do it, since often the solution is uncomfortable.

havingfun2023 · Answer

It's a good question, however what caught my attention to the question was the way that palm is hitting, slapping or pressed against the glass. It's a little bit uh, anyways.

Unit1 · Answer

i cannot really be helped. as much as i'd like to not make it seem like i do not want others to get involved. I tend to do many things myself, so that i do not have to require for help most times. Almost Everyone needs help and me included.

Anonymous · Answer

Because I struggle with communication, I've not had many I can trust enough to ask for help won stuff in the past. I don't have anyone anymore tbh. I have massive self worth issues so don't feel that I deserve help. I don't want to bother people either. They have there own stuff going on.

lightbulb27 · Answer

used to doing so much on my own. takes more effort and difficult skills to get help. I enjoy solving problems.

exitseven · Answer

I was raised to think that asking for help just shows weakness. Even though I am older that still persists.

Sparkie460 · Answer

Yes I do have a hard time asking for help. I was brought up that if you want something done right, you do it yourself. I've never asked anyone to help me do anything. I always figured a way to do things myself

aquamarine321 · Answer

Because of society breathing down your neck as it relates to certain things and getting help plus past experiences in asking for help

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I tend to struggle with recognizing that I even need the help. Once I recognize that I need it, I find it pretty easy to ask for it.

Paris13 · Answer

Mainly to My Father Above. I ask for So Little. xxoo

Anonymous · Answer

It's an affront to my warrior spirit. Also because I'm a little sadistic like that. The greater the odds stacked against me the more flavorful the victory is when I overcome.

AmeerX · Answer

No one will come to help and no one really believes me and even when they do they don't have the time to help

_no_one_ · Answer

Coz the said help is shit lol I'd rather figure it out myself

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

I don't find it hard, I just like doing things myself.  I only ask for help if I actually need it.

Anonymous · Answer

I’m just afraid that I’d be asking for a help from the wrong person or people

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Because I don't like to drag people into my problems.

Sabretooth · Answer

Not many to rely on... sadly, my situation limits what I can do.

eagle1951 · Answer

couse i was taught to figure things out on your own

Nikki1989 · Answer

I don't. That is how you learn.

Anemone978 · Answer

Cuz asking for help shows you are weak..

Skull_Anon · Answer

Cause no one probably cares

jshm2 · Answer

No, but it depends on the issue.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I don't. You wanna help me with stuff?

Lolahah · Answer

I feel like an inconvenience

Twalli · Answer

Other people need it more

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

I’ve never had any help as a child

BigDog1989 · Answer

Nobody wants to admit they aren't perfect

Luckycharms12 · Answer

Yes find it very hard asking for help

SUMAIREBRAHIM · Answer

With whom it's question

OddBeMe · Answer

Because it’s intimate.

Heolurt · Answer

Because people don't care and don't help.

jimmy2 · Answer

I don't give money's lol

WhitneySnow · Answer

Pride?

Anonymous · Answer

Because I'm a man and nobody truly cares

DreamLife7 · Answer

I dont lol

Why do you find it hard to ask for help?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do you find it hard to ask for help?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.