What does it mean when a guy says he wants to go all the way with you, you're special to him,& you're a friend

[csugirl26]

Okay so I have this situation, I recently confessed to someone that I wanted them to be my first. Here's where it gets tricky. I've known them for 3 years, in those years we were together for 2 months. Since then we've been going in different paths and met up again. Because of our history, I'm sometimes confused to what's going on at times. I quote he told me that " Once things get settled with school I would love to take it all the way with you". " You are very special to me, you're a great friend and I care about you a lot". One more thing he's always finding a way to touch me rather it's holding my hand, touching my knee, or leg. Also he told me he is attracted to me. I want to know how do I interpret everything he is saying and doing, because it is very confusing. I already stated how I felt about him also I have not done the deed with him at all.

[MrOracle]

It sounds to me like both of you are thinking about a FWB relationship, rather than being in a real relationship together. If that's the case, I think it's very likely that you're making a huge mistake.

Assuming your listed age is correct, sex and virginity is obviously important to you, rather than something you think about casually. That means you've ALREADY put great importance on losing your virginity, and once you do it, and bond with this guy (something nearly all women do when having sex with a guy; it's a normal biological response for women), you probably won't be satisfied with just being a FWB.

But being FWB is usually the best way of ensuring that you'll NEVER have a real relationship with someone. If he really liked you that much, he'd probably be pushing for a relationship already, but he clearly isn't. Many guys don't really want relationships AT ALL, no matter how much they like the girl. For those guys, having a girl that's a good friend, who they also have sex with, is ideal: all of the benefits of a relationship without most of the limitations and responsibilities of one. As the AU below me states, why would he buy the cow when he's already getting the milk for free?

Once you realize that's how he feels, you're going to be confused and devastated. You won't understand how he cannot want more, when you will so strongly want more. That's going to make him feel uncomfortable, and he's going to end the friendship entirely to avoid having to deal with it. That will make you feel even worse.

And this whole story is incredibly common. I've specifically warned several dozen girls about this on this site, and almost every girl who went through it anyway experienced exactly what I wrote here.

That's why I *strongly* recommend that you not have sex unless you're in a committed relationship with someone who wants the same things you do. Even if that relationship doesn't last forever (and it probably won't), at least you won't feel like you made a huge mistake or that you got used just for sex. And that's exactly how you probably WILL feel if you go through with this with your "friend." Think it through before you act.

[BobbyD]

You just said you wanted him to be your first. Why does it matter how they feel? He already said he'll do it.

[csugirl26]

Yes I did, but nothing is happening. His signals are confusing me. One day it's yes I want to be with you, next is I don't want to ruin thins between us, it's up and down.

[BobbyD]

Initiate it. When you verbally say something, expect to forward up physically.

Don't say something and expect him to take you in his arms. It's your job if you want it done this way.

[csugirl26]

tried that, he says he does not want to ruin our friendship. He knows I'm waiting to give it to someone that's special, maybe he does not think he's special enough I don't know.

[BobbyD]

You answered your own question then.

[miss67]

Sex can ruin a friendship... just dnt rush it with him but spend time with him... if it seems like your relationship is going forward thn let it and sex will happen when its soposd to... if the relationship isn't movn fast enough and you dnt feel like your togetger thn start meetin othr guys and if he wants you thn he will step his game up

[csugirl26]

I know sex is a big deal, we were together before in the 3 years I've known him, I'm comfortable with him, and vice versa with him. I figured we're not rushing anything, but he keeps thinking about if anything happens that it might ruin our friendship. I'm just lost at this point.

[miss67]

Just relax about it if you want to beeeee with him focuz on havn him fall crazy in love with you and dnt bring up sex... be the best girlfriend you can be... and he will go about the sex thing on his own and you will feel so good about him initiating it... you said to him you want him to b it so if you love him jus focuz on standing out more then evry other women... win his heart and love... alsooo in the mean time watch p*rn to get ideas so you can b great for wen it does happpen

[Anonymous]

It means he wants to get the cow for free.