What's so wrong about this? (The girl is in her 20s, of legal age)
Girls seeking father figures in an older man normal?
What's so wrong about this? (The girl is in her 20s, of legal age)
My best friend asked me to be godfather to his one daughter. He had 3. I'd moved away for some time during her adolescent years but was nearby when he passed and she was in her 20's. She reached out to me then and we hung out some. But there were some who saw it as inappropriate. I didn't see it maybe because I didn't want to believe it. I mean I could've seen it go in an intimate direction on both parts however disturbing it may have been to me. I don't know if she had those feelings for sure but she seemed very vulnerable after he passed. They were really close. I've since lost my own daughter and am seeking to try to fill that void with her.
To me it depends on his role in your life.
Him having a father figure personality is a good trait to have. But will he be a father figure to you? Or to your kids (if you want kids)
I would say the roles gets tricky when you want him to play the father role.
He would be your boyfriend. Not your father.
He can't be both.
Also it would depend on way you're looking for. Some guys might me looking for an easy lay. Others not so much.
You should talk to you dad and ask why he wasn't the Dad you wanted then ask yourself if you want the fatherly figure or not
Well the man I think of would be more like a boyfriend than a dad he just has that extra affection and can talk about things more maturely and from a different perspective than guys my age. Is he sexual to me? Absolutely.
Isn't that the same a saying you want a mature guy? Because I know how guys can be at age 20 (I am 20) and not all 20 year old guys are immature. Also a guy doesn't have to be older to give you that type of affection. And a different perspective is everyone.
What do you mean he is sexual to you? You see him in a sexual way? Or what?
With all due respect even a 20 year old mature guy is just not the same. I can't put the appeal in words exactly but it is there. And yes I see him in a sexual way.
I do...very much.
Those psychological explanations are very vague generalizations. I'm exactly like you. I'm so much more attracted to older men, but it's not about the money or daddy issues. It's mostly because they're so much more mature and interesting. Don't take it as something abnormal just because a few researches conducted on god knows how many women brought those results. Daddy issues and/or wealth are not the one and only explanations. It can be just a preference.
Yes and some of them are more caring and we can just talk about things guys my age don't really care to talk about..there is a whole dynamic there that guys my age don't tend to have going on
I know exactly what you mean & I totally agree :)
Nothing wrong with actually. Some girls just do mature faster, and most guys her age are still not as secure yet. Perhaps, she seeks security in a relationship.
@Update - You bet he would go after her. BELIEVE ME!
Well there's this older guy I'm interested in and we flirt and all but he always talks to me about his "age limit" and that I'm under it but he always tells me great things about myself and he even said he would go for me if he was younger. So I told him about how this other older guy was hitting on me so he told me he'll take me out "so I can meet younger guys and not have to get hit on by old men" . I wanted to tell him then that I like older men but I thought he'd be weirded out so I didn't
Just be upfront with him and tell him the truth. If it doesn't bother you let him know it shouldn't bother him. Honesty, is a sign of maturity. I think he'd be impressed. Also, make sure to always stay in control of your own emotions & be diplomatic. You don't want him to play the age card on you.
I just worry he would say I'm too young and turn me down. but why would he even offer to take me out if he wasn't interested at all?
Actions speak louder than words. Even if he says, "No" you don't take "No" for an answer. You need to be persistent.
What's wrong is that she shouldn't be looking for a father figure, she should be looking for an eqaul
But why? Everyone has different needs and wants in a relationship. And you can't tell me the two are always equals
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Not really anything. But I think the kind of girl that dates that much older guys who DOESN'T have daddy-issues is pretty rare.
Well would you consider a girl whose parents are not divorced, get along pretty well, but she is just not so close or affectionate with her dad even though he takes care of her a girl with some mild daddy issues perhaps? Like she knows he cares about her but he isn't the warm affectionate type who can talk about anything under the sun with her the way some dads do with their daughters, so she seeks that in a man?
yup and she knows he isn't the type who will give it to her so she looks for it in a man. do you think if she finds it in a man and they are happy, their relationship will last? I almost feel like in a way this relationship might be stronger than many others, because there is this extra dynamic that keeps her happy, especially if the man also likes taking care of her this way...
That one is hard to say. Personally I've never met anyone where that big a age difference kept on working. My soon 27-year old sister had a relationship with a 42-year old guy until a couple of months ago. But I think it was more that she didn't want to be alone than daddy-issues.
Nothing's wrong with that at all. She likes older guys. No biggie.
Update: Pretty sure there's a great many guys in their 40s who would love the chance to be with a girl in their 20s.
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