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Guest Feature: Expert April Masini Explains Why Nice Guys Finish Last (Page 2)
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51Opinion
"The only time I think a woman should offer to pay on a date is if she asked him on the date... and since typically I tell women not to ask a man on a date I would say no [paying her share]. ... so if she pays 50/50 guess what, you will always be 50/50."
Ya you sure don't want to be equal.
Wow. That's terrible advice.
You are making your money praying on people's need for help and clearly give bad fluff advice. That's terrible. It also makes you a pathetic human being.
Your body of work shows you have little grasp on human behaviour, psychology and the changing dynamic of modern human social behaviour.
Your snake oil is essentially worthless. And people with real problems come to you with need of help. You should be ashamed of yourself and your quackery.
So long story short, nice guys are obvious and desperate. Assholes are not. Hence dating without a lack of empathy like some psychopath is gonna get us the girl?
Sadly, yes.
It will get you a girl who is lacking self worth. She will base her worth on trying to tame the player. Be authentic and you will attract the right girl
@Ishtar I think women should just leave 'nice' guys the fuck alone. I mean, why bother with these dudes, not like they're gonna date them anyway.
That's your interpretation of "women" just because you read one article or because of your bad experience.
My comment wasn't about all women. It was about what kind of women are attracted to assholes.
@Chief16 scientifically, yes. Men not showing typically "negative of "feminine" emotions like sadness or emtions has a higher chance of getting the girl. It's only o to show those emotions after a while. Girls will disagree with me but science rarely lies. And in this case i hold with science. Because it corelates with a fundamental desire for picking the strongest mate able to protect them.
Lol... women do leave nice guys the fuck alone to begin with. I just hate the way they try justify it or defend it and blah blah
this one obviously didn't read the entire take... may have stopped at the title.
@Dandeus who exactly?
I'm already a psychopath how easy it would be to pretend I liked a girl. but we're would be the truth in that. God made it were I could only get a girl who is right for me. funny maybe that why Im atheist
So, basically, all those thousands of romance novels and romance movies, don't exist? That's basically what I'm reading right now. Also, WTF does being 'nice' have to do with not being "exceptional, exciting, or sexy"? If that's honestly what's going through your head, and that it's "predictable and boring", then every single psychological and romantic article that I have read in the past have just been debunked!!! Honestly, do you even hear yourself?
I'm quite certain that the main character of 'The Notebook' was a 'nice' guy! How many millions of women love that movie/book? So, yeah, millions of women love nice guys, or they're hypocrites and lying to themselves more than everybody else! Either way, this is a serious issue that you need to take a step back and realize what's wrong with you for not liking the nice guy.
"How many millions of women love that movie/book? So, yeah, millions of women love nice guys, or they're hypocrites"
I love watching people getting killed on tv. I never killed anyone. I guess that makes me a hypocrite.
@JuicyBrain No, that makes you a gamer and audience that engages with the movies/tv shows appropriately. I've written several documents proving how tv shows and movies engage with their audience psychologically. So, my words are not pointless and do have logical backing.
Oh my god. This is an incredibly unhealthy point of view. You're using two extremes and acting like one is good and one is bad when BOTH are bad.
A HEALTHY person invests in themselves AND others. Not just themselves. Why would anyone ever want to form any type of relationship in a situation where they knew everything would always be second to the other person''s ego? I'm pretty sure that makes for a shitty friend and an even shittier significant other.
You can do better than this, GaG.
"You can do better than this, GaG"
You sure about that?
@Dandeus
Uggggh
@Dandeus I'm an eternal optimist. The porn lady's was decent. Like at least she was doing her best to live her own life and not give out totally terrible advice.
I find myself getting bored of my giving, nice boyfriend sometimes but remind myself that I could be dating a cheater, liar, a guy who's emotionally distant, etc and appreciate him all the more. He may be nice and normal and not much of a risk taker but he's loyal and genuinely nice.. something absent from a lot of people today. He's not nice because he feels insecure or inferior to me, he just is. Love him for that.
Also, saying "you're such a nice guy" ... doesn't mean the guy is exceptionally nice. It's a generic compliment that really just means "I don't hate you or anything" meant to soften the blow of a rejection. I know that I definitely used it that way in the past without thinking.
Girls and young women should learn not to use this phrase so much - it confuses guys.
saying "you're such a nice guy".. that is the kiss of death to a guy. It basically tells him that... you only see him in a friend/none sexual way /like a brother.
My point is that he may not even be that nice. Most people are only averagely nice. I remember telling a guy he was nice when he actually treated his female relatives like servants and told tons of racist jokes, both of which bugged me.
What she usually really means is "I appreciate the effort you're making, but this isn't going to work."
Because we single out niceness in the rejection, it seems some guys come to see niceness as the reason. When really, it's a half dozen other things - poor personality compatibility and/or lack of attraction being two major ones.
That's true, the image that is projected does affect the reflection. I'm always befuddled by the theory however, nice guys finish last because I have a hard time equating kindness with weakness or nicety with excitement. If I had to give advice to the nice guys I would say this, be yourself and develop confidence in that do not expect more then you are willing to give, find humor in everything and run when someone wants you to change to make them happy... The nice shall inherit the earth !!!
Nice little avg/below avg kid goes for hot girl, of course gets rejected, and goes home to write poetry about how "nice guys finish last" and process repeats itself.
https://youtu.be/3VXXXX9iVPICheck it out:
and Great take!!
Yeaa yeaa whatever... Go and date jerks... Get pregnant and when they leave you and chest on you don't go looking for a Good guy out there that you wish you should have..
And you should know these nice guys aren't that nice that they will date a girl with a baggage..
And also not all women want jerks..
I always liked nice guys and always will, dont put all women in the same basket , we are people and we aren't all copies of the same. Dont discourage guys from being the nice guys, some like the douchebags and some prefer the nice ones
The woman writing this article explored less depth than a few horrible mytakes I've read. This is just click bait and an article aiming to confirm negative thoughts.
Yeah... that's why nice guys fuck prostitutes. If my boring self is not worthy of female attraction, I would rather be my soft boring self fucking something than masturbating. And that said, I'm poly, no girl will ever fully own me again... ever. ever.
exactly, so start masturbating!
I agree. Yet, I have to make the remark that cockiness does not equate attractive.
A kind, respecting and compassionate man that knows his self-worth is what is really attractive. Not a cocky nonchalant asshole. Just to make it clear.
attractiveness*
Damn, I used to think this whole issue is overblown but it must be a really big deal with all these questions and takes about it.
@LiveFreeorDieHard
I think it is completely overblown. I even read this article skeptically. She did say some good things, but some of them could also easily be misinterpreted and making it sound like girls want douchebags and hate gentlemen. Which is ridiculous.
TOO MANY DAMN WOMEN HAVE ADOPTED THIS FAKE PERSONA FOR ME TO EVEN GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THEM AND FOR THE WOMEN THAT DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF FAKE I'M TALKING ABOUT I'M TALKING ABOUT CLAIMING TO BE SOMEONE OTHER THAN WHO YOU ARE MEANING YOUR CLAIMING TO BEING THE PERSON YOU SAY YOU ARE AND ME FINDING OUT THAT YOUR SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOU SAY YOU ARE
I... Have to agree with you on that... I thought that my boyfriend wouldn't want me anymore if he found out how I really am... But I told him anyway... Come to find out, he really DOES love me, even though I can be really shy and emotional sometimes... He loves me for my tender heart and dorky, silly, cheerful attitude... I don't feel like I need to hide anything from him anymore. It's one of the best feelings in the world 😊
The World is horrible when being nice makes you a loser. Mabye society should change because I'm not liking where it's going!
This just shows us how seriously flawed women's thinking can be.
They want emotional attention and affection, but they don't...
WHAT?
Personally, I like nice guys. I find a guy, attractive or not, who is a total asshole, to be a waste of time. Nice guys make me smile and feel good about myself. So why would I want to be with a straight-up dick who makes me feel like shit? No thank you.
What kind of degree do I need to become an "expert" and give bad advice like this? No need to take difficult maths classes if doing this will pay the bills.
You don't need a degree, You simply need experience in giving advice and then you need a plan or someone to promote you as an expert. G@G is a great place to get experience in giving advice.
@OlderAndWiser Nah man, I was joking. I think I'd probably lose my shit if I had to deal with people's problems for a living, haha.
Not all advice columnists deal with penis-size questions every day! :) And. . . I've sat through those math classes (one year of calculus in college.) You have my sympathies.
@OlderAndWiser Haha, I guess you're right. Most questions advice columnists get probably aren't as bad as the average question on GaG. Still, I think I enjoy math and science too much for that, though Calc 2 might change my mind. 😝
Kind of funny how perceived value is more important than actual value. Kind of sad too. The idea that 'the guy is busy, with exciting things going on.' Versus may be even busier but finds time. wins or that 'the guy has lots of options and could have any of them ' is a good excuse for why he might ignore you or not have time for you as a person he may choose... sounds like someone relinquishing their own agency.
Serious question, how did you become a relationship expert?
I've slept with many women and dated a lot. Does that make me an expert also?
I would take your advice on dating over this woman any day.
@Scrambledagain thanks you're a smart guy
Upvote for you, dude.
I dont always like back the guys that like me but when I am ready for a relationship, I really pray that I get a nice guy cause the bad guys are really starting to get on my last nerve.