Today is Valentine's day.
And everybody is talking about what presents should they buy to their S/O,they are thinking about confessing to people they like,what they should do if they are single and blah blah blah. I love the idea of this day but I thought I should make something different.
I know that this is a really sensitive topic, but I also think that someone has to talk about it. So this mytake is about really important things someone should know about abusive relationships, if you have any questions this time I will answer. Also I want you to know that I am here to talk for everyone that is suffering from a problem like that.
Enjoy.
Early signs that he/she is abusive.
This is for both physical & emotional abuse. There are some "red flags" that the person that you are getting into a relationship with is abusive, and some of of them are:
1.Being physical with others.
2.Losing his/her temper easily and does not remember what happened.
3.Over-the-top Jealousy
4.Him/her being really controlling
5.Try to take you away from friends and family.
6.Shaming you or makes you feel bad.
7.Unrealistic expectations.
8.He/she threatens you with vilonece at first during fights.
9.Makes you feel unprotected-afraid of him/her.
10.Making everything your fault
11.Saying things like "If you don't _____I will_____"
12.He/she cheats and he/she let's you know it.
13.Behaving cruely to kids and animals.
Abuse DOES NOT have to be only physical.
Abuse: to treat with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.
Because he/she doesn't hit you it doesn't mean that you are not being abused. Emotional abuse is used to control the other person by destroying his/her sense of self-worth. It may be hard to recognize because it can be different in every case, and because abusers often blame you, that you provoke them and you lead them to that. Emotional abuse may start as something really small, for example a small insult during a fight, but it will get worse with the time if the abuser understand that you are not planning on leaving them.
Do not be embaressed & scared to talk.
Many men and women that are being either emotionally or physically abused are embaressed and scared to talk about it to others or seek for help.They think that the society will judge them and that nothing/none will be able to help them. The abuser makes them feel alone and worthless and that's why they believe that everybody will see them that way as well. That's not true. No one will judge you for falling in love with the wrong person, and you will be shocked from how many people will want and try help you.
One time is enough.
You don't need many examples to understand that your boyfriend or girlfriend is abusive. When you start realizing it, you shouldn't wait to see more. When I say "one time is enough" I don't mean it literally, but I hope you do get my point.
Do not let him/her get to you.
What he says when he wants to offend you and humilate you isn't true. The fact that he/she is abusing you either emotionally or physically DOES NOT mean you are weak. The fact that he/she gets angry and behaves like that is NOT YOUR FAULT IT'S HIS/HERS. Do not let what he/she says affect you even if he/she is important to you.
Do not let him/her manipulate you.
Most of the times, the abuser after the fight it seems that he/she really regrets everything that happened, and shows a very affecionate behavior towards you. He will promise you that it won't happen again, that he will just learn to control it, and that he is doing it because he loves you. Do not fall for that.
You are not alone.
You are not the only person that was or is in an abusive relationship. There are actually many people that suffered from the same problem. Also even if you have been distant from your friends and family, believe me if you tell them the problem they will help you without a second thought because you are not alone in this.
"Never say never"in this case doesn't count.
"Never say never" when it comes to abuse it does NOT count. You have to leave, close this door behind you and NEVER look back. In abusive relationships there aren't ANY second chances to be given, because simply a person that abuses NEVER changes. So remember when you finally leave, you must NOT EVER even think of him/her again.
Walk away and remember that not everyone is like that.
Many if not all men and women that get out of an abusive relationship, are traumatized. Yes, what that person did to you left a scar behind BUT you don't need to live with it. Your life is ahead of you and you must not let yout past affect you BUT you have to let it teach you.
Women can abuse men as well.
Men can be BOTH physically and mentally abused as much as women. Yes it's more rare for it to happen BUT that does not mean that it can't happen. Yes, guys are stronger and bigger than women but that doesn't mean they are untouchable. Yes, they can fight back but they won't cause they do know that if they do, they can seriously harm their girlfriend because of their physical power. Yes, they want to leave or work things out but they don't know how. These guys don't need ignorance they need help as well.
Sexual Abuse in relationship is real.
-End.
Most Helpful Opinions