Oh for fucks sake. I've been ghosted. I just move on because I accept he is NOT interested in me whether it be looks or personality. I don't have to give any reason to ghost you because if I told the honest truth I feel like the guy will lash out at me and to me ghosting is better than telling you "hey you're not attractive to me and you're boring as hell."
It is annoying as shit but if the dude leaves me on read so many times, I just ghost and delete.. fair game there.
But you're ghosting because you said he obviously isn't interested and is leaving on you read. So it's kind of understandable there. But I'm talking about ghosting when two people have actually known each other for some time and all of a sudden the other one just disappears.
Ok that's different. Yeah it sucks but if it's friendship wise I'd leave a comment or just give up if they keep ignoring, that hints to me its over and yes that would damage me. Relationship same thing.
I don't see ghosting as a problem when you're not invested and it's only been a few exchanges between you. So many guys have ghosted me, some stung a little, some I didn't care so much. At the end of the day, however, I moved on. I don't hold it against them either, they simply weren't interested.
Call them a coward. Just message them "You are a coward". Do not give them a reason why. Then ingore them. It will bother them in a few days.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
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Thank you for writing this and thank you for trying to help. It still hurts but I really do try to keep my head up. We were together for over a year and she just walked away, just like a ghost. It really has been devastating.
For the other people commenting on this, I can't understand how you would think ghosting somebody is just okay. You have issues more than anybody.
It's just a rejection without unnecessary communication. I don't understand people who build up huge imagination about a person they slept one night with. It isn't their fault or their deficits which decided that other person ghost them but circumstances. In regards of LDR without face to face contact. Most people who are into LDR have several close contacts they talk with. If someone is into a LDR, it's very likely the person isn't the only one.
I literally ghost guys when I can tell they are just looking for a hookup and are not genuinely getting to know me. It's weird some guys will "pretend" to want to get to know you for months... like what kind of strategy is that to get sex? Just ask I'll say no and you can move on to the next person..
It may just be me but I'd rather be ghosted than being told I suck or I'm not enough. In a way, ghosting says a lot without having to say a word. When someone stops talking to you, the message is pretty clear:"stay out of my life". When people try to explain they'd rather move on, it's seldom done properly. It's better not to say a word then...
I mean, if you're okay with someone suddenly disappearing on you without a word and you find that to be more respectful than the truth, then hey, that's on you. But the vast majority of people would rather be told the hard truth than to suffer with being left wondering what the hell happened.
I guess I do understand that not having time to even answer or talk to me by text or whatnot means : "I don't give a shit about you". Some people need the translation. I don't.
Again, if you have to explain away ghosting as a suitable form of breaking up, then you're part of the problem. Anybody who literally can't see the indecency in just disappearing on someone, especially if you were in the relationship for a good while, has some serious soul-searching to do.
Obviously you're hurt and lashing out at anyone. You never answered my question... how is it any different than what people do at the end of a relationship? They don't hang around you anymore, they usually leave and never talk again because it's too painful.
@inquisitive3 This is not about me just because I talked about my own experiences being ghosted. I also said others have worse stories than mine.
There is definitely a difference. When two people breakup it's usually because one person wanted it to end, and they told the other person. Once that happens the two people do stop talking. But ghosting someone? It leaves the other person wondering why did this happen, did I do something wrong, are they going with someone else, etc. Things are left unanswered. There is a clear difference.
Before ghosting, you should have a clue its not going well and sometimes in breakups people don't discuss it either. Ghosting is just simply a breakup. You're not listening to what your partners feel beforehand.
@inquisitive3 You either haven't had much relationship experience or your relationships have never been very serious. Most people who have been ghosted in long term relationships say everything was fine and the two people were even sometimes planning their next get-together, but one person suddenly disappeared.
Again, if ghosting a person is an acceptable way to you to communicate and treat someone and you would rather leave it up to them to "see the signs," then you have a LOT of soul-searching to do.
Only girls and girly men will get offended if someone's "ghosts" them. This is typical tween drama. If someone ignores you it means they have better things to do or you're a butthole that they don't wanna deal with. Very simple.
I must disagree. I have found it necessary on more than one occasion when they wouldn't accept that it was over and kept acting like you hadn't broken up with them.
Ghosting actually is okay if you've already communicated to them that you want to end the relationship and they can't accept it. But mostly what I'm talking about in the Take is after you've been with that person for some time and out of the blue they just disappear, but you still see them active on social media, etc.
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Oh for fucks sake. I've been ghosted. I just move on because I accept he is NOT interested in me whether it be looks or personality. I don't have to give any reason to ghost you because if I told the honest truth I feel like the guy will lash out at me and to me ghosting is better than telling you "hey you're not attractive to me and you're boring as hell."
It is annoying as shit but if the dude leaves me on read so many times, I just ghost and delete.. fair game there.
But you're ghosting because you said he obviously isn't interested and is leaving on you read. So it's kind of understandable there. But I'm talking about ghosting when two people have actually known each other for some time and all of a sudden the other one just disappears.
Ok that's different. Yeah it sucks but if it's friendship wise I'd leave a comment or just give up if they keep ignoring, that hints to me its over and yes that would damage me. Relationship same thing.
An ex from a few years ago ghosted me like that and I was a mess for quite some time. She only ever wanted me to buy her watches and shit anyway.
With the way tech and soical media is nowadays ghosting has just become to easy to get away with.
Sadly.
I don't see ghosting as a problem when you're not invested and it's only been a few exchanges between you. So many guys have ghosted me, some stung a little, some I didn't care so much. At the end of the day, however, I moved on. I don't hold it against them either, they simply weren't interested.
Ghosting is one of the most pathetic things someone can do online. Communication is one of the most important human traits, time to use it.
Exactly.
Call them a coward. Just message them "You are a coward". Do not give them a reason why. Then ingore them. It will bother them in a few days.
Thank you for writing this and thank you for trying to help. It still hurts but I really do try to keep my head up. We were together for over a year and she just walked away, just like a ghost. It really has been devastating.
For the other people commenting on this, I can't understand how you would think ghosting somebody is just okay. You have issues more than anybody.
It's just a rejection without unnecessary communication. I don't understand people who build up huge imagination about a person they slept one night with. It isn't their fault or their deficits which decided that other person ghost them but circumstances.
In regards of LDR without face to face contact. Most people who are into LDR have several close contacts they talk with. If someone is into a LDR, it's very likely the person isn't the only one.
I literally ghost guys when I can tell they are just looking for a hookup and are not genuinely getting to know me. It's weird some guys will "pretend" to want to get to know you for months... like what kind of strategy is that to get sex? Just ask I'll say no and you can move on to the next person..
Well said my guy, I’m proud of you for taking a stand keep it up. #abettertomorrow
Talked to my girlfriend everyday, she broke up on New Years. Fine, that's okay.. we're still buds!
I haven't gotten a reply since -_- Not impressed, I thought she was better.
People who ghost are COWARDS.
It may just be me but I'd rather be ghosted than being told I suck or I'm not enough. In a way, ghosting says a lot without having to say a word. When someone stops talking to you, the message is pretty clear:"stay out of my life". When people try to explain they'd rather move on, it's seldom done properly. It's better not to say a word then...
I mean, if you're okay with someone suddenly disappearing on you without a word and you find that to be more respectful than the truth, then hey, that's on you. But the vast majority of people would rather be told the hard truth than to suffer with being left wondering what the hell happened.
I guess I do understand that not having time to even answer or talk to me by text or whatnot means : "I don't give a shit about you". Some people need the translation. I don't.
I think you must be someone who has ghosted someone else.
Do you still hold this view if you were in a relationship with someone for some years?
How is this different than just breaking up with someone? Usually that's how it's done... you just never talk to the person again.
Again, if you have to explain away ghosting as a suitable form of breaking up, then you're part of the problem. Anybody who literally can't see the indecency in just disappearing on someone, especially if you were in the relationship for a good while, has some serious soul-searching to do.
Obviously you're hurt and lashing out at anyone. You never answered my question... how is it any different than what people do at the end of a relationship? They don't hang around you anymore, they usually leave and never talk again because it's too painful.
@inquisitive3 This is not about me just because I talked about my own experiences being ghosted. I also said others have worse stories than mine.
There is definitely a difference. When two people breakup it's usually because one person wanted it to end, and they told the other person. Once that happens the two people do stop talking. But ghosting someone? It leaves the other person wondering why did this happen, did I do something wrong, are they going with someone else, etc. Things are left unanswered. There is a clear difference.
Before ghosting, you should have a clue its not going well and sometimes in breakups people don't discuss it either. Ghosting is just simply a breakup. You're not listening to what your partners feel beforehand.
@inquisitive3 You either haven't had much relationship experience or your relationships have never been very serious. Most people who have been ghosted in long term relationships say everything was fine and the two people were even sometimes planning their next get-together, but one person suddenly disappeared.
Again, if ghosting a person is an acceptable way to you to communicate and treat someone and you would rather leave it up to them to "see the signs," then you have a LOT of soul-searching to do.
"You either haven't had much relationship experience or your relationships have never been very serious."
Wrong on both accounts. There are always signs someone isn't happy in a relationship. You missed those.
jeez, whose ghosting their girlfriend. That would make me think they died, the only reason I wouldn't be ok with it. That extra stress and anxiety.
Only girls and girly men will get offended if someone's "ghosts" them. This is typical tween drama. If someone ignores you it means they have better things to do or you're a butthole that they don't wanna deal with. Very simple.
It's funny when someone ghosts you then when you see them in public they try to act like it never happened. NOPE!
"Oh I fell asleep that night, hahaha, I'm sorry"
"You really hurt my feelings, you know that"
*stunned stare*
I'll have to admit that I just did it - was chatting with a girl on tinder.
She doesn't look all that much, despite being a nice person...
I must disagree. I have found it necessary on more than one occasion when they wouldn't accept that it was over and kept acting like you hadn't broken up with them.
Ghosting actually is okay if you've already communicated to them that you want to end the relationship and they can't accept it. But mostly what I'm talking about in the Take is after you've been with that person for some time and out of the blue they just disappear, but you still see them active on social media, etc.
ghosting is passive, they literally didn't do ANYTHING. no blame.
i think ghosting is an acceptable last ditch measure if the other person does not accept or willing to anderstand that you're not interested.
I wouldn't say it's painful to me it's just annoying.
It sounds like you must be experiencing random ghosting online or with dating apps for it to be annoying to you.