Guys! Learn how to take care of yourself!

[OlderAndWiser]

Damn right!

When I was a child, I had a mother who wanted to do everything in my life and allowed me to do almost nothing. I didn't know how to operate a washing machine until I was 16 years old and leaving for college. I was required to do very little housecleaning and I knew just a little bit about cooking. I was really dependent on a female to take care of me. That's okay when you are ten or twelve years old but not when you are an adult.

NEVER GET MARRIED OR ACQUIRE A LIVE-IN GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TAKE MOM'S PLACE.

Learn how to take care of yourself. This isn't about being MGTOW or whatever. It's just about being responsible - entirely responsible - for yourself.

Over the years, I have learned many things about taking care of myself and the home in which I live.

Housekeeping. I know how to shop for sheets and bath linens. I know to change the bed and bath linen at least weekly. I keep the shower, toilet, and bathroom sink clean. The mirror gets cleaned at least monthly and more often if needed. I sweep and vacuum weekly. I dust when I notice a fine coat of dust on flat surfaces.

Kitchen. I have a fully furnished kitchen.

Pots, pans, broilers, baking dishes, stand mixer, blender, frying pans, table service for 12. I know how to cook and I actually do cook. I can bake a cake or pie "from scratch" as well as a casserole. I can prepare Thanksgiving dinner (including a great roast turkey and homemade pumpkin pie) for twenty people and they will love it.

Clothing. I know how to shop for myself. I know which fabrics require ironing and which are more durable. I know how to iron. I know how to do laundry. I can replace a button on a shirt or jacket.

BUT, OLDERANDWISER, THESE ARE TRADITIONAL FEMALE TASKS! Some guys might think so, but . . . there is NOTHING manly about depending on a woman to take care of you. When you are young, you may go to MacDonald's or some other fast food for most of your meals; why do you need to learn how to cook?

Trust me, as you get older, you will probably get tired of a Big Mac and fries every night, and you will wish that you could go home and have some roast beef and mashed potatoes, or a nice steak with real (not from a box) macaroni and cheese. And . . . if you are a strong man, cooking won't make you less of a man. (I still do mechanical work on my vehicles, plumbing and electrical repairs in my home, and other "manly" tasks.)

I've been divorced for six years and - obviously - I haven't been in a rush to get remarried. I don't NEED to get married again; I can take care of myself. If I get married, it will be because I want this particular woman to share my life and not because she knows how to bake homemade biscuits.

So, you younger guys, think about learning how to take care of yourself and you can get some extra mileage out of it. If there's a girl you know and you want to get closer, tell her that you feel helpless in the kitchen but you want to learn how to broil a steak or how to make a cake so you can surprise your mom on her birthday. Most girls LOVE to help guys and this is a great way to spend time getting closer to that girl.

You can do it!

The irony is that the more you become self-sufficient, the more attractive you become to women!

[Bee-Hatch]

Going to be honest I'm impressed. Not just because you're an influencer that isn't a self absorbed dick. But because you wrote a my take that I could read without giving up on because it's not an overly wordy meandering document with no real point.


This is how anyone that wants to be an influencer should be writing if they want to stand out.


And the information here? This doesn't just apply to men. Being an adult is a skill that takes time to learn the more of these things you can do the closer you've got to becoming one. And I certainly see a few holes in my knowledge that this guy can do.


Bravo sir. When you're ready someones going to be lucky to have you in their life.

[OlderAndWiser]

I appreciate your kind words!

[Mofunfour20]

Responsibility is important because if you arnt responsible for yourself then someone else has to carry your weight, usually comes with resentment towards the irresponsible person. We all get 24 hours in a day and when other people have to pick up your slack... Its just not good for relationships

[OlderAndWiser]

You get it!

[midnightmoon05]

This is actually part of the reason why my
marriage ended. I was married to a decent man. However, the mother also wanted to take care of me (control). I ended.
I noticed my daughter (had my mother in laws personality) at a young age wanted to take care of my son who is 2 years younger than her. I had to continue to teach her to not “mother” him. It’s my job, not hers. She finally learned and I have been teaching them both to learn to pack when we travel. I teach them they have to do their own laundry at a young age, cook, clean, do chores.
I notice my friends do not give chores to their kids. Sometime when I tell them I “make” my kids work, it makes me feel bad that I “make” them so work. And their kids don’t.

My boyfriend told me, his sister in laws kids doesn’t do any chores. If they ask, kids will wine and not do it. Parents would feel bad asking kids to do work. I don’t get it...

we all have to work to survive and when we work, at any type of jobs, builds characters, especially at a young age.

reminds me of a follow up question

[WowwGirl]

You should marry him

[Pasiton5]

You right about kids and Doug chores it builds work ethics teach them responsibility as they grow into adults and parents need to do their job and teach prepare them for life to survive instead of wanting to be their best friends hip cool,

[MyDixieNormus]

Remember that being a man is doing the right thing making the hard sacrifice or hard choice and being a solid reliable piller for your family or your community or your social group. It is not how much you can lift or your fighting ability or how much you can drink or how many women you can bed or all of that Hollywood machismo that they try to shove down your throat. It's being responsible. Taking responsibility being the one that admits and owns up to acedentally breaking the mower and not trying to hide it or pass the blame to someone else. Think about the women that you have close to you that you hold I very high regard and respect or think about your daughter and how much you can and need to show her what a real man is and does so that she knows right away instantly a man and whats still a boy or what's a boy in a man's body. Be the man you want your daughter to be with. Be the man she holds other men to as the minimum they should be. Give her the tools to know what she is worth and what she damn sure deserves

[OlderAndWiser]

Okay, but that is totally unresponsive to what I wrote. If you want to post an opinion on a topic of your choosing, write a myTake of your own.

[MyDixieNormus]

How is this not. It's about taking care of yourself as a man. Does that not include doing right as a man doing right by and to as well as for your family. Does setting the bar as to what a man is and should be so that your daughter looks for a man at minimum what her dad is or better for herself. How is that not part of or at least an extension of taking care of and doing for yourself as a self sustaining man. I'm asking not trying to make points. I just thought this was within the question asked or stated and if not I would like to know so that I do not make the same mistake again.

[Lliam]

Excellent advice, OlderAndWiser.
What's funny is, my childhood was much like yours. I was taught almost nothing about how to survive. I not only didn't do any cooking or housework, I didn't even know how to balance a checkbook. I did mow the lawn and take out the trash, and my dad did teach me a bit about cars. Then I took auto shop in high school, wood shop and metal shop in summer school, and basic electronics at community college.

It was when I moved out that I began learning to do things on my own - all the things you mentioned. I also learned how to be organized so as to minimize the amount of clean up.

I learned a lot along the way. I learned some things from friends. When I finally got married at age 42, I wasn't looking for someone to be my mommy and take care of me. My wife and I are partners, and she appreciates not only the manly things I can do like lifting, building and repairing, but also housework. I have to admit, though, that she does most of the cooking because she enjoys it and I don't. I know how to cook, but I only cook occasionally because I'd rather not.

[MalesGOD1]

You can tell men and or try and educate men how to but most men will never do it. Men have priority lists going on in their heads and most men will put this way down the list. Its just men's nature. If they do become in bad health they might actually try and get their health back but once they do they are likely just going to put it down on the list again. This is why its NOT sexist to like and or want a women to look after and take care of a man's health anyway she can, also women who do often like doing it. This is one way that men and women compliment themselves so well.

[MzAsh]

Everything discussed in the take is generally about being a grown ass adult. It’s time women stop being mom-wives.

[Pasiton5]

That should be a no brained, but most dudes wait till their eye balls are hanging out then ask think I should get it looked at, or nah it's just a little fracture be ok in 6 months and I admit I'm same way in some instance but I recommend everyone if you haven't done so already learn about your body and it's functions and you will be amazed how fragile we everyone males females really are, how vital it is to eat healthy rest and not over expose ourselves to to much toxins junk food, sodas it's a balancing act but water plenty of it is good for our system just take time to lesson about organs liver heart bladder be amazed how one goes bad can run your life great topic do yourself a favor stay healthy the life you save just may be your own

[purplepoppy]

Guys are basically pets. Sure they're fun to play with but they're a lot of responsibility to look after. They'll try and help, in the same way a dog tries to help by eating dropped food or barking at squirrels. So remember the next time a guy tries to help by ironing your bras nice and flat to call him a good boy and give him a biscuit.

[OlderAndWiser]

Haha, I know your sense of humor, but. . . many guys are better housekeepers and homemakers than their female partners.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

I'd love to see a woman post this - from the female POV, without resorting to using feminist dialogue to blame men and refuse to do housework.

I think it would be a far more important mytake considering that nearly every young female I know has zero housekeeping skills and when you ask them to do anything like clean up after themselves, it quickly turns into accusations of toxic masculinity and supporting a patriarchal society.

[OlderAndWiser]

Somehow, I have bypassed that group of women.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

My wife nails herself to the cross every time I ever ask her to at least put her dirty dishes in the sink and not leave them on the living room table, or to wash her own bras instead of complaining about how badly I do it. I've lived with 7 women (long term , 1 year or longer) in my lifetime and not one of them could honestly take care of themselves, much less anyone else.

Pet peeve I guess.

[OlderAndWiser]

So why do you keep settling down with the same kind of woman?

[OlderAndWiser]

You don' owe me an answer to that question but you should answer it for yourself.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

Honestly, I tried to settle down with a 'different' woman, as I recognized that I had a habit of attracting dependent women. I thought I found her, married her and started a family, and then she changed and became exactly what I was trying to avoid. I'm sure I'm not the first guy to fall for a bunch of lies, but she roped me in. I live with that mistake, take responsibility for it and make the best I can of it. Doesn't mean I'm not a little bitter about it.

[OlderAndWiser]

I have had a similar experience but with a different issue.

[ToastyOats]

Yeah, heads up ladies. The modern homes domestic workload is soooo light, that a single older man can do it all and still hold down a job and yet; There are women out there who want to be compensated for sex. No way! Men invented and still build almost all washing machines , cars, homes. It really is just a struggle for women to stay relevant these days. The ONLY thing a man can't do a woman can is gestate a child and these crazy billionaires are working on test tube babies right now! Better get with the program ladies. Literally anything you do now a man could do better.

[StunningANDbrave]

The argument was never about dudes not knowing hot to do basic shit like this. It has to do with wanting a woman to take care of that for you while you do more important shit or advance your career. Like it or not, the woman will have to be at home doing this when she gets pregnant and there is a baby in the picture.

[OlderAndWiser]

It's not an argument. It is simply something that too many young guys neglect.

I have no argument with traditional gender roles as I am a very traditional guy. But when I'm single, I need to take care of myself and not go home to momma every time I need a button sewn on a shirt.

[StunningANDbrave]

You're not going home to "mama" you're going home to a loving wife that takes care of minor shit so you don't have to. I however see what point you're trying to make.

[victoria5475]

Romantically, I stay away from guys, but many that I come across in my day-to-day life are terrible at taking care of themselves. Nothing worse than being on a packed rush-hour train next to some guy with strong BO. As for clothing, I'm sick of seeing graphic tees and ripped jeans. I am occasionally attracted to a guy who dresses well and acts properly. Maybe I'm outdated in terms of fashion, but I'd like to see more guys in suits and fedoras.

[McKellar]

Yeah but here's another reality check for you.

Girl: Wow! Beautiful, clean house! Beautiful furniture! Wonderful kitchen you have! You're even a fashionable dresser! You have a great job & you are very independent! You're amazing!

Guy: So what do you say?

Girl: Yeah,.. um... I'm sorry. I just don't think of you that way. You're not my type.

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, that is one potential reaction.

[ChrisMaster69]

Great my take and as a guy that has lived a lot on his own, a lot of it resonates with me.

I can manage coloured washes with ease and have a logical process to ironing from delicates to heavy stuff.

although hiring a maid is still on the cards lol.

[Raph37]

Yes, stop putting your parents down.
As in: stop doing stupid things and then get your parents to help out with the situation you got yourself into.
Wrap your crap as well.
Stop asking for favors.
Stop asking to pay back then still ask.

Stop living a wrothless life.

[Browneye57]

So, can you build a house or a car? Change your oil? Fly an airplane?
Can you do a brake-job on your car? Replace a wall receptacle or light switch?
Can you set tile? Or install carpeting? Solder copper pipe? Run a tig-welder?

I could go on... but you get the picture.

If you're really talented, the women flock to you, and you don't have to do the domestic chores - they do them for you while you do the heavy lifting, the complicated stuff. Bonus if you're good looking and make bank. :)

[OlderAndWiser]

I understand all of that, but this is about taking care of yourself when you're not in a relationship so that you don't settle down with a woman just so you got a woman to do the cooking for you.

[Browneye57]

Like buying a slave? LOL
So you think guys can't take care of themselves, eh? I wonder what's been going on for the past millennia.

[zagor]

A lot of guys can rebuild an engine but eat at McDonald's 5 nights a week.

[Browneye57]

@zagor - Cuz they can't be bothered, not because they can't figure it out.
For some, cooking and eating is a hobby, a special interest. For others, there are more interesting things.

[Azura_88]

I do this too. At 12 i learned how to live alone because of certain experiences.
As a woman I think good and genuine ladies need to learn how to take care of themselves.
The problem is they also think that a knight in the shining armor will save them from this cruel world and will protect them. But those men are EXTREMELY RARE.
I can cook, clean and manage stuff but just gotta get a decent paying job.
Then I'll be totally complete and independent.

[pleasestopthis]

It's great to see men who know how to keep a house functioning without the help of someone else. My father knew how to do almost everything and so I would expect my future partner to be able to care for himself if I'm not around.

[bamesjond0069]

I agree. The only problem with the girls these days... you make more money than them, do man things better... and then now you cook and do woman things better too! Wtf can they contribute?

I used to suck at cooking and was ok with a girl who made mac n cheese or a sandwich. Now i cook more like i could be on chopped i dont want to eat some nasty frozen peas and blah chicken breast. Just makes me even more pick asf w a girl.

[Matt57]

I can do most of these things as my mom wanted us to learn basic skills, but I’ve forgotten how to do laundry. I used to be able to do it fine, but then our washer and dryer broke down when I was younger. It wasn’t the biggest priority at the time, so my mom would just do all the laundry at the laundry mat. That was for a couple years, and now I always have to ask what settings I should use for each load.

[Matt57]

Oh and I was never explicitly taught how to iron, but I’ve observed my mom and dad iron over the years, so I’m kind of self-taught. I don’t know all my fabric types, so I just iron my Chinos, button-up dress shirts, and my cotton undershirts. I wonder if I can iron my flannel shirts though, because lately my sleeves have been coming out of the dryer super wrinkly.

[Likes2drive]

Yeah I can do all those things, it’s laziness that gets in my way mostly and being too tired after work or not motivated, been divorced 5 years now and not sure if I will get married again either but it would be for companionship not to get someone to do those things

[boombastik]

Glad to see you mentioning women. I had almost decided you were gonna tell us you didn't need a woman for anything at all.

[OlderAndWiser]

I don't need a woman, but I really WANT a woman in my life, and I think I have found her