Boyfriend controlling what I wear and wants to break up with me because of it. Any advice?

[mujerbonita_89]

I don't know what to do. My boyfriend told me he didn't want me to wear a sports bra to the gym because he doesn't want me to draw attn to the guys and I disagreed with him so we got in a huge fight about it and ended the fight with him still not wanting me to wear one and I still want to. No big deal right? So I went a head and bought one anyway and wore it to the gym. He showed up at the gym with me wearing it and got p*ssed and was swearing at me and telling me he's not gonna talk to me for a week because I went behind his back and bought one and wore it. Now he's thinking about breaking up with me after a year and 8 months over something so stupid! He said it was like cheating on him because I still went behind his back. All the girls wear those to the gym and I have not the slightest idea what to do. Do I tell him he can have his way and ill never wear one again or do I stay strong and don't give in? Mind you he controls everything that I wear and I'm sick of it. Any help?

[Ecklebean]

Although this argument seems to be a bit silly, there's definitely a lot more to this.

In your boyfriend's defense, why is it so important to you to wear a sports bra to the gym? If you truly care for him, and if you know that it upsets him, why is it such a big deal to just throw on a shirt over top of it? I sense that that's not the issue at all, and if I'm right, the REAL issue is that you're feeling that he is being too controlling.

While your boyfriend sees himself making a simple request that could be easily fulfilled, and finds it disrespectful and deceitful that you're not following through, you're resisting because you don't like the fact that he's demanding that you wear what he WANTS you to wear. I could be totally wrong here, but I'm just trying to feel out the situation...

Lets face it - it's only human to get jealous. I sense that when your boyfriend caught you wearing the sports bra, he was not only betrayed by you, but also very alarmed by why you would dismiss his request. I'm sure he was wondering why it was so important to you, and if that reason included showing off for other males. (You know how men think, lol.)

What needs to happen in this situation is this: COMPROMISE.

Perhaps you should consider reassuring your boyfriend, telling him that you love him and would really prefer that he were the ONLY one to see you wearing a sports bra, but that it's really the best option for workout attire? Relationships are all about understanding one another, the root of each other's behavior, communication and compromise. The root of his behavior is insecurity, so cater to that and cultivate more trust; reassure him of how important he is to you, and how no other man stands absolutely any chance. ;) Make sure he understands the LOGICAL reasoning for your need to wear a sports bra (only) to the gym, rather than it just being a preferance of yours. He needs to see the logic, be reassured that there is no need to fear, and he will stop being so demanding about what you wear to work out.

It really is that easy.

I hope this helped and I wish you luck!

[a_man]

Follow this one

[snowangel88]

I could potentially see why he would have an issue with a sports bra with nothing over it... I doubt my boyfriend would be thrilled either. Him freaking out on you... not so much, especially in public.

& besides, any guy who tries to control everything you wear is just psycho. Girls shouldn't have to let their boyfriends pick out their clothes for them. I'd never be comfortable if I did that. It's your body, and you have a right to dress it as you see appropriate, but you should still be considerate of your mans opinion when doing so (as long as he is being reasonable).

[laurami]

this is really unreasonable of him to say to you. he doesn't trust you and unless you've done something in the past to lose his trust then he doesn't trust you because he is not only insecure with himself but also has jealousy issues. we all get jealous at times, but this is overkill. you're right, it is a control issue and if he loves you then he will try his best to not let his problems get in the way of your relationship. don't give in, because he will end up controling bigger things in the future.

[ryanontario]

this is all a pretty silly reason to be fighting , and I'm sure a lot of girls look pretty good at the gym so I don't see why he was so worried about you going there especially if you allready ahve a boyfriend anyways , it all seems rather odd and I do think its reason to question your relationship with him cause if he's going to go nuts over this what's he going to do when something serious comes up ?

[ageofabenius]

I'm confused. Are you saying you want to wear a sports bra and just a sports bra? Or are you talking about a sports bra under a shirt? Because the latter is definitely less revealing than a normal bra. But if you're thinking of wearing just a sports bra and nothing else then that definitely IS a big deal, you wouldn't just wear a normal bra without a shirt, would you?

[Anonymous]

Did you just wear the sports bra without t-shirt over it?

your boyfriend just might think he doesn't want guys to be all over you looking at your boobies if you are only wearing the bra. Well, he doesn't have the right to control everything you do. If you are comfortable wearing it, it should be fine. He has to understand that you have the right for buying the bra and wearing it. That's what the bra made for anyway. So silly and immature! If he wants a breakup just because of that reason, let him act that way. There is nothing wrong of buying sports bra. You can compromise with him too like wearing t-shirt on top of the bra at the gym etc.

[Standingpretty]

Dump his ass first. Being over controlling is one of the signs you're dating a LOSER. If he can't let you be you and let you express yourself then he doesn't really love you despite whatever he may say.Actions speak louder than words. The next thing you should do now is search through the articles on here and look up: "signs you're dating a loser" to see what I mean.

[m3TALchick]

You better not let him control you. What does he think its gonna happen, someone is gonna rape you at the gym? lol Please. He seems like he might be a little insecure. Gyms should be professional places where people go to do one thing. If you want to wear a sport bra, then to do it, gurl. Its your body and your life. You only live once and drama like that is ridiculous and pointless.

[Mcstarr]

you can't let him control what you wear because it will lead to him controling things you do and with the people you can and can't hang out with so if he keeps that up you shouldnt have to be putting up with that its not like you tell him what he can and can't wear. Never let a guy control you if he doesn't like he can tell you that he would prefer you not wear it but not controling what you wear.

[MadHatterni]

Leave him but if a girl did that I would drop her like a dime. Its insercurities and why just a sports bra what are you trying to prove with just that. Wear a t shirt and sweats or shorts that's fine and I worked at a planet fitness we kicked girls out with those because it bring unneeded attension. I don't blame him but then again if he controls your clothes from school, and work its better he's gone but learn from this lesson that a sports bra is just teasing other men

[blueangel_1]

Stay strong. He was upset cause he lost control of you, most likely. Don't give in to his childish demands. He wasn't making a simple request, if it was then he would have talked and not yelled over it. He would have worked with you. What's next? Food? Friends? TV Shows? I think you should break up as it only gets worse.

Also, who cares if a guy looks at you, it is just looking. He should take it as a compliment, and for you to be confident in your own body. Does he want you to wear a paper bag on your head?

[valentin87]

"My boyfriend told me he didn't want me to wear a sports bra to the gym because he doesn't want me to draw attn to the guys and I disagreed with him"

are you crazy? he's absolutely right. don't wear a bra to the gym if he doesn't want you to. what's wrong with you girls? since when don't girlfriends do what their boyfriends want them to do? it's not a big deal to wear something that makes you look less cheap.

[CuriousChick]

This is ridiculous. Break up with him if you really have stupid fights like this that end in threatening to break up. You're cheating because you wear a sports bra to the gym?!?! Come on. If this is how it is, it's only a matter of time before you break up, so just get it over with now and free yourself of this stupidity.

[geeee]

stupidest thing I've ever heard, does he really want you to end up with saggy boobs for not wearing one. I'm not sure weather he'd like to see his girlsfriend naked with saggy boobs? its your body and you should take care of it! he's such a jerk, I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

Break up with him because he is a controlling, angry person. If this kind of thing happens for just wearing an item of clothing, imagine what happens in other situations where he'll literally threaten you, or turn into a monster. Forget him, and stay strong hun.

[cjwright79]

What are you doing with this loser? It would be more fun climbing a tree than spending time with this monkey.

Seriously though, get a spine and don't take sh*t from him. He will respect you all the more.

[JuJuBeanz]

Stand up for yourself is my advice if he can't give you freedom then its not gunna last anyways so why struggle to keep it going? He needs to just get over it just cause guys look at you doesn't mean its be its all about how you take it and even if you didn't wear a sports bra wear and kind of bra and guys will look its just the fact

[coolbeens]

Tell him to beat it, he is controlling, for gods sakes have your self respect and break up with this guy..

[WeaponZero]

Let him break up with you or break up with him. A guy like that will bring you nothing but problems in the long run.

[ILoveCefalu]

Break up with him. It isn't a healthy relationship if someone's domineering like that. You'll be better off without him.

[cjwright79]

Your boyfriend is (was?) plainly a big conceited brat, and I have to wonder what possessed you to take up residence with him the first place.

[soOUCH]

RUN! This is either a controlling dude or a guy who really likes to make stupid arguements.

[sinfullysweet4uonly]

don't let anyone dictate what you where or anything else if you let him control this issue he will think he can control you about everything and the last thing you ned is a control freak . Tell him if guys look he should be proud of that

[Anonymous]

ALL the people who told you to break up with him are stupid idiot's!

he loves you that's why his jealous you dump ass

[rdm08966]

Dump the control freak. It is your body, wear what you want. I am a guy who freely wears womens clothes and would not let someone tell me I cannot wear the clothes that I feel comfortable with