If your other half is snap chatting the opposite sex, would you be concerned?

[chocalou]

My current boyfriend of 4 years uses snap chat a lot, and his top friends are always other girls, most of the time ones I don't know.
Is this something that you would class as innocent or suspicious? Bare in mind that he knows that I can see who he is snap chatting.

[Overvalerie]

Hey, just read your comments RE your boyfriend going to festival without telling you.
You are having doubts/insecurities because he lied to you, not because you are an overreacting girlfriend.
I would be suspicious too. And regardless of how he thinks you are reacting, he should care enough to realise that whatever you are feeling is real, and important, and try to reassure you; either by speaking it through with you or reducing/cutting contact with these girls.
Speak to him about it, and his reaction should confirm your next step.
Don't put up with not being treated like you're the most important girl in the world (I'm aware I sound like Beyonce lyrics now).
Good luck!

[chocalou]

thanks, this is going to be the next step! now its the waiting game.
and thank you! :)

[GnarlyQuinn]

Here's the thing: is it crossing a comfort boundary for you? Sounds like it, and with good reason. I would not be comfortable with my boyfriend using snapchat, no less with females. Everyone I know that uses it... uses it for a certain kind of content. NOT saying your bf is guilty, but if it's making you question his actions, then you have a right to your feelings, and he should respect them. Talk to him about it, let him know how you feel.

[Elle2me]

I wouldn't like that if I was in your shoes. Your boyfriend snapchating and talking to other girls might seem harmless at first but believe me, you never know where it's going to lead. Cheating doesn't suddenly start in one day, it happens innocently first with emotional cheating before it proceeds to physical cheating. I think you need to call him out on it.

[Theguyoverthere]

Get to know them if possible. They could just be people he works with or chats with every so often. If he's "hiding them" so to say and trying to keep you out that's the sign of a guilty conscience. I text girls that I have known for years and it's completely innocent. I may either work with them, hang out with her boyfriend regularly or know them in my travels. There are guys who just make friends with the opposite gender and not really hang out that much. But if he's going to their houses late at night alone and stuff, then worry about it for sure. Just analyze his behavior and don't seem like you don't trust him. Be casual about it and check his reactions.

[zorro8888]

Has he done anything untrustworthy? If not you need to adjust your trust issues
I snap girls all the time, that doesn't mean I'm trying to sleep with or even like them as anything more than a friend, however if you find it that crucial to your 4 year relationship that your boyfriend stops sending snapchats to girl then by all means tell him.
Hope this helps! :)

[chocalou]

well one of the main reasons this has triggered my trust issues is that two of the girls, he has only recenctly become friends with, and he lied to me a few months back about going to a festival to meet his friend, and then I found out a few days later that he didn't go to meet his friend but to meet these girls that I have never heard of. This is what has triggered the whole trust issue, although he seems to think that its all good and I am over reacting even though he told me that he didn't tell me that he was going with them cos he didn't want me to get pissed off with him :S

[zorro8888]

You're clearly not overreacting if he has giving you a reason not to trust him, I think you know what you want to do at this point so talk it out and tell him why it's a problem for you!

[chocalou]

thanks :)

[mimiboo2u]

I would definitely be suspicious about this, even though y'all have been dating for so long. My brother had the same problem with his (just recently) ex girlfriend. Her number one friend on Snapchat was a guy she'd known for a while, and it turned out that she actually was cheating on my brother. So, yeah, if I were you, I would definitely have my guard up especially since Snapchat is the easiest way to sneakily send anything to anybody. Have you said anything to him about it?

[chocalou]

this is what I am worried about. these top girls on his snap chats he has become close to them the past few months from nowhere, he even went to a festival with them and lied to me about going.
I have mentioned it to him but he is always making excuses like he just replies to them something silly. But things are weird and I feel uneasy about it all. I actually hate it. I don't want to be a bitch and tell him to get rid of it though.

[mimiboo2u]

Oh noooo! He already lied to you about being around those girls AND you're having a guy feeling about this. Those are two bad signs right there. If you tell him to delete that account, you wouldn't be a bitch, you'd be doing (what I think) is the right thing to do. If I were you, I wouldn't trust that the fact that he has so many female friends on Snapchat, lied to you about going to a festival with them, and brushes off your concern about him talking to those chicks. y'all have been together too long for him to be doing slick stuff and for you to be quiet about it. Oh, and always trust your gut!!!

[chocalou]

I will mention all this when I see him next even though I have mentioned it all before. I just can't seem to get him to understand why I am feeling paranoid about all this and he just says that I am being silly. Thanks for the advice :) and im sorry to hear about your brother being caught up in this sort of situation

[mimiboo2u]

Okay good! I hope it all works out for you. No problem. :) Yeah, I felt bad for him too, but he got over it pretty fast.

[SuitandTieGent]

I completely disagree with the first opinion. There will be people that you do not know. Four years is a long time to be together however you won't know all his friends an people he knows. My gf gets jealous of the same stuff so i ended up letting her open my snapchat to proove nothing was being sent. If he's got nothing to hide it will be obvious depending on if you go for his phone. If its all innocent you could be causing and issue by being insecure.
If you have a major issue with this just confront him im sure he will put you out of your misery!

[frm242]

It totally depends on his and your nature. If you know for sure that he's a one girl type guy then there's nothing to worry about, some people are more comfortable with friends of opposite sex (I'm one myself), but if he is kind of flirty then you should probably be attentive. But making answers and conclusions for doubts always destroy a relation, so its better to confront and then check whenever necessary.
And it depends on you as well, some people like it if their bf/gf flirts or is being flirted because it excites them even more, some are very possessive and won't even allow any opposite sex friend, some are in between.
So I think now you can decide for yourself what to do considering his nature, yours and your tolerance level.

[Red_Arrow]

I have never snap chatted, but my understanding is that you can just send pictures to people the regular way, unless it is something that you want to be automatically deleted quickly, in which case you snap chat. The very nature of the "disappearing" picture makes it suspicious to me. Add the lying, and you know you can't fully trust him.

[InquisitiveJosh]

I don't think so. I would make the assumption that guys would mainly only use snapchat with thr opposite sex and it could be for casual/friendly stuff or sexual. I also think snapchat is a girl dominated app. Not majorly but I think there would be more girls on there.

[CuriousCatbug]

All depends
my partner snapchats her guy friends and i have 110% trust in her ^_^
depends on the person and people he chatting with... like, if my gf was snapchatting a dude who fancied her, then id be a tad concerned

[chocalou]

yea, this is weird though cos these girls have only just become friends with him. I would understand if this is long term girl friends and people I know of but I don't even know these girls. Also he lied to me a few months back about going to a festival with his mate and he went with two of the girls that I am mentioning on the snap chat. I'm just in the dark on what is going on.

[CuriousCatbug]

Oooo see, the new friend part, i dont have a problem with... its a quick way to know more about peeps and stuff
but the lie :/ that is really bad... yiu need to talk to him

[chocalou]

the lie is the whole problem.
I'm quite laid back so I probably wouldn't of been that bothered about the rest, but the whole lying about going to a festival with them is what has made it 10x worse. I have mentioned it to him but he shrugs it off along with everything else.

[CuriousCatbug]

So pull him up.

[CuriousCatbug]

Tell him its something ya need to discuss as its affecting ya relationship.

he still not wanna talk, tell him you'll walk

[chocalou]

I know. putting my food down now. thank you :)

[CuriousCatbug]

Pleasure, hope it all goes well ^_^

[AdvisingYou]

No I wouldn't be concerned. If the girls name is something like "sexygurl" "brastrap" Lol. Don't worry he is probably sending innocent snaps and there's nothing more to it. If you're that worried ask him.

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

If i had a girlfriend of 4 years Snap chatting with guys it would make me sad
But ask yourself is his lies, dishonestly really worth it i don't think so well hope
things can get better if not than you should move on, one lie leads to another.

[Finkaa]

If it bothers you enough to post your question here, i would talk to him about it.
doens't matter how we feel, if you;re uncomfertable you should let him know

[sweetguy17]

As long as he loves you, you don't have to be suspicious. But if he snap chatting other girls about flirting, you should be aware. If you want him to stop snap chatting other girls, you can show him how much you love him to make him realize that you are his only one and you are the best.

[Morava]

At first I thought you were being crazy but after reading the comments, girl! Go with your gut.

[AshleyMD]

It depends what he snap chats, if it's innocent talking then no, but if it's explicit then yes.

[Arab_Cutie1033]

I personally feel that men need their space. After 4 years I feel like you shouldn't worry.

[HerpyDerpy]

Are the other girls friends of him? If so, I think there would be no reason to be concerned. If you still are, you could make a snap now and then where you and your boyfriend are posing on. If nothing is wrong, it could turn out awkward...

[chocolateismylover]

I'd be very concerned. Have you tried talking to him about it?

[chocalou]

yea I have talked to him about it, and he said that he would stop it, a month later and he is back doing it. I don't know what else to do without being a moaner

[Rallyvyas]

Yes, i would be concerned and i'll talk it out to him. If i dont like i'll let him know. If he really cares he will give up anything for you otherwise you can decide what's best for you.

[TheEnding]

That would definitely bother me a bit, even though it's probably nothing.

[Anonymous]

My bf does that and it drives me crazy. I can't stand the girls just because i know they try to snap chat him more than i do. If it bothers you so much tell him, but remember to trust him. 4 years? your doing something right.

[slackercruster]

Innocent flirting I guess?