My boyfriend had a car accident and he doesn't remember me or that i'm pregnant. Should I leave him? What do you think :'(?

Question

He just wake up from the coma three weeks ago and doesn't remember anything even me! I've tried to tell him everything about us but he can't remember anything :( I'm really disappointed and confused. Today i thought about leaving him and moving on, he should start a new life. Guys i didn't tell him about the baby because i was really shocked when he asked who i am! Maybe i could tell him that we were best friends or something and stay as his friend, right?

bijinbijinbijin · Accepted Answer

Oh no that is so unfortunate. I think you should wait longer. Does he rememebr his family? How long have you been together?

If you were together only for a couple of months and your relationship hadn't gotten serious yet then you could try being the friend and stay in touch with him because the baby needs to have a relatinship with his father whether you and him are in a relationship or not.

However if you two have a good history with each other and love each other then I think you should keep trying to refresh his memory. Show him pictures of you two together. If you guys gave each other gifts then bring the gifts and show them to him to try to refresh his memeory. If you love him then wait longer becasue he may get his memory back soon. If the baby is born and he still hasn't gotten his memory back by then I would just stay friends with him and still let him see his baby.

Even if you are not able to rekindle the relatinship you have with your babys father you still shouldn't think about dating someone new just yet. Single mothers should not be looking to date at least untill she and her child are in a stable situation

I know a lot of sinlge mothers who have had their priorities mixed up and before they could get their baby into preschool and herself having a steady job, she ended up pregnant again with someone elses child and the guy decided that the child wasn't his so he left her. So please dont think about dating anyone else anytime soon. Just focus on helping the father and making sure your baby is a healthy one.

loveisbeautiful · Accepted Answer

What about your baby? Have you thought about that? This isn't really about you,
it's about your boyfriend who had an accident that was clearly bad enough to leave him in
a coma and a baby who's depending on you to make to choices for him/her. Leaving
your boyfriend and not telling him he's a gonna be dad, is just wrong. If you love him,
truly love him. Then you won't leave him or keep him in the dark about having a child on
the way. If you don't, then I guess you;ll do what you're considering and leave. The choice
is yours, but just imagine if the roles were reversed and you just woke up from a coma
and didn't remember anyone, how would you feel if your boyfriend just bailed on you?

I'm no doctor, but I'm sure if you asked one they'd tell you the best way to help
someone remember is to reaquiant them with there life before the accident. Showing
them pictures, taking them to places they loved or places they went with there special someone,
showing them were they lived, just telling them about things to spark there memory. Try
that with him, if his family isn't already. Also realize, he was in a coma so him waking up is
a miracle in it's self, but him remembering is gonna take sometime and you need to be
patient. Hopefully, you'll be there for him. If not, you do eventually have to tell him about
the baby, it's the right thing to do.

BuchitaBuchys · Accepted Answer

50 First Dates?

Jk.

But I think it's heartless for you to even consider leaving him :/
You do realize it's normal to have amnesia if he's had head injuries? Maybe it'll take a couple weeks, maybe a few months, maybe even years. But it's not his fault.
I know it's hard for you, but what will happen the day he does snap out of it and realizes that you just left him instead of dealing with it? He will also miss the hell out of that baby he never saw.

I'd stay. Try to jog his memory again. There's therapy for that I think. You just have to be patient.
It's up to you in the end. Best of luck.

dons220 · Accepted Answer

I apologize on behalf of all the guys telling you your a bad person wanting to leave.

It must be some frustration having built a relationship and have a baby with someone just to have them not remember any of it. And you can't really expect him to just find those feelings again when he himself just woke up to a, for all intents and purposes, alien workd with no memories. Deep seated Emotions are dependent on memories.

This is what I would do, tell him exactly the truth. Say you understand he doesn't remember anything, but explain to him that before his accident you two had a great relationship and you were his girlfriend. Explain to him that how you feel torn about putting that on him when you know you can't expect him to have those feelings just because you say you two are together. See how he reacts to that. Make sure he knows you not trying to push yourself on him but that you needed him to know that.

I'm not sure about telling him about the baby, I would say tell him about it just because it is his baby after all, and he deserves to know. But I guess you can see how he reacts to you first. But make it clear that regardless of all that you want to make sure he has a good recovery and that you're there to help with that if he needs it.

Good luck to you. He may well remember everything as time goes on. The brain is amazingly plastic, so he might just need something to connect those neural connections again.

yaddayaddayadda02 · Accepted Answer

You're pretty fucking harsh if you're willing to dump a guy after a traumatic injury.

Yaeza · Answer

Jesus, you act like his amnesia is some cold and it should be over already, it's not, amnesia is unpredictable, and could last a month, a week, a day, to years and forever, but leaving him when he can't remember ANYTHING is just mean and harsh. You need to stay with him, for two major reasons, you are carrying his baby, for one, and two, (this relates to number one) what if his memory comes back after you leave him, think how betrayed he would feel that you run off with his baby when he's having such a traumatic experience.

spandex74 · Answer

First, you need to know that you're hurting. I think you know, but you need to say it to yourself. Not only is he in a bad place, so are you, and your unborn child.

Your question didn't come out right, I think you're asking "what the heck do I do?" You love him and it's okay for you to give him love and support. He might not love you in return at this time, but you should know (like many others said) that memory does come back. However, you want to think about it as starting all over again. It is a new experience, it is a unique experience, it is what makes the two of you together. Sure he may not feel like you're "together" (I'm not clear on the living situation, whether you two live together). But in the long run, he's going to recognize who you are -- with you just being who you've been.

I'd definitely suggest that you two go to therapy together. You should enlist the help of your family and his family, as coming together to reflect will bring more meaning to his life -- in the process of finding your relationship again.

Best wishes.

madhatters4 · Answer

it takes time for a person to regain parts of their memory after a coma. sometimes they'll never get it back but with therapy, time, patient and cognitive exercises people can usually regain a large amount, if not all of their memory... I went through the same with my mom after she was in an accident.

if you love this guy you need to try and be patient

wonderhappytime · Answer

Well... Personally I'd stay and hope he remembers. It'll be rough doing all these things for you, having all these memories about him, and he just says "who are you". But you guys pray... Because let's say he remembers 3 months from now and you are no longer there? What will he think? I know, are you suppose to just wait forever until you're 90? Well, its only been 3 weeks. Wait and then consider that problem. Stay strong. I'm sorry I don't have much experience to give you valuable advice.

Gemstone2411 · Answer

I'm shocked that you put staying as a bad idea! He is your baby's Dad's!

If my boyfriend was in the same situation as yours, I would be upset that he's forgotten me but I would stay and remind him of us and everything else in his life before the accident. I would never give up on him!

Anonymous · Answer

Full House did an episode once where Michelle fell off her horse (horseback riding). They had her lose her memory for the episode and she couldn't remember anything (obviously). They were told to just give it time and to go about their lives as if nothing happened. Slowly but surely, she regained her memory.

Disney's "Shake It Up" also did the same sort of thing at the very end of the show where they had what's her name lose her memory but in the end, she got it back.

Yes, I realize both were only half hour episodes and memory doesn't just reappear after 30 minutes IRL butttt, I think you get the point. If you truly love him etc.. you'll wait, if not, then you'll leave. I would be heartbroken though if I got my memory back and found out you had moved on, especially since you're pregnant with my baby

NovemberJoseph · Answer

If I was in your position and he was a girl, I'd stay with her until the memories come back. If they never do, I'd make her fall in love with me all over again. Create new memories. If it happened once, it can happen again. And I'm sure she'd get déjà vu when she starts catching feelings for me again :p

TripleAce · Answer

Listen carefully: Usually in traumatic events, short term memory is whats affected, not long term. Over time his memory most likely will come back OR bit and pieces will if the event didn't damage areas where long term memory is stored

You were a part of his life, he will know eventually

How can you leave him so horrible, and it being hard on you is no excuse, your suppose to be the strong one to be there for HIM who's been in accident. Wow

nickbrick · Answer

Sometimes memory comes back. Try to get him to remember all the happy times you had with him. The things you liked to do. The places you enjoyed going to together. Likely his personality will be the same so you can still love him. Stick it out. If he loved you before then he can fall in love with you again. It isn't just your baby. Its his too. Hopefully his memory comes back, but if it doesn't stay with him. He problably needs more help than you do and having someone to support him will make him feel happier. It will be like a do over. All the bad things between you guys you can fix. Again. Hopefully he gets his memory back, but if not try to make the best of things. Keep me updated.

Stay Positive,
Nickbrick

douride2 · Answer

I feel for you I really do. I was the one in the accident 15 at the time. Big pieces of my childhood were just gone Some came back most of it was just gone. Some are saying stay what would you do if it was reversed. It couldn't be reversed you have an unborn child to to think of. Don't push it give him time but make plans to move on if he doesn't come around. It may never come back. What ever you decide I wish you the best.

JustinCaseUDontKnow · Answer

That would be so cruel to do that to him. Seriously if i had a girlfriend/ wife i would stay with her if she was on her death bed... That's the kind of guy i am !!!

Stacyzee · Answer

I'm questioning your love for him.
If my partner ever had a traumatic accident... I wouldn't leave him in a heartbeat.
I would stay with him and support him.
It's one thing if you can't handle it and you decide to move on with your life at some point.
But right after his accident... you're ready to bail?
It all just seems like you never cared for him in the first place.

You should be part of his recovery process.
After all you two are linked together (whether you want to ignore that fact or not) forever.

Anonymous · Answer

Well I'm not anywhere near your position but what would you want if you were in his shoes? Just honestly tell him what happened before he got into coma. If he can fall for you once he will again right?

CheeseLoveWhiz · Answer

He should know the truth, especially about the child you will be having together. It'll take time for him to recover and you have to be patient with him. Whether or not the relationship pans out is a different story but, he should know everything about your relationship.

purplishone · Answer

Will you leave him in these bad days of him? I can't judge you but you could be in that car and you could live the same scenario. If i were you, i'd stay and fight for my love.. and for my child.. if you really loved him, answer is very clear. This is my idea.

jacquesvol · Answer

You should at least wait until you get a final diagnosis from doctors. Memory is a strange thing : it's not certain it won't come back.

MoodIndigo · Answer

I am terribly sorry for all of those rude comments, don't even bother trying to explain anything to them. I think you know the right thing to do and can consider what your boyfriend would have wanted. Everything gets better...

Mysterio421 · Answer

WTF? Is this EVEN A QUESTION? Wow my age group and generation is doomed. First thing, why would you leave him? His memories will return. Your not only being selfish, especially in the baby being with the father, your clueless. What if you lost your memories temporarily and your family was in your position and then they left you or your husband was in your place and you were in his place? Disgusting, in my opinion

OnceUponADream143 · Answer

Stay there for him, support him. Show him photos of you guys together, tell him stories of your time together, and be patient.

CommieDearest · Answer

You thought about leaving him?

Not very ride or die are you? This is happening to him a hell of a lot more than it's happening to you. Does it suck for you? Fuck yes... but damn you really should stick around and be there for him a while before you ditch him. I wouldn't even consider jumping ship from my bf so soon.

gabbyirene · Answer

I feel for you. The guys are already assuming that you'll leave when you've done nothing but ask for their opinion.
If I were you, I'd stick with him. Try to explain to him the truth and see how he will respond. I'm sorry, I've never been or thought about this situation so...
Good luck and stay strong :)

ChaosKilledTheDinos · Answer

That would be very very cold to leave with his kid like that and not stay by his side after such a traumatic experience. There are certain activities that help with memory loss maybe show him photos and videos of the two of you. Have family and friends talk to him? Take him to some of the two of your favourite date spots or try to relive a favourite memory and talk to him about it? I don't know.

Anonymous · Answer

I say stay its not fair to you are him if u leave. He needs u now whether he knows it or not try helping him remember by doing things u guys use to do. besides what will happen if he remembers and u never told him about the baby plus you bailed on him. I would imagine that would be pretty hurtful information to take in. I would also try couples therapy or a therapist who specializes in memories and etc.

Anonymous · Answer

What are the doctors saying? Generally, it can be told whether someone's memory loss is permanent or only temporary.

man_from_d · Answer

You should tell him everything, and at least stick by him till he gets out of hospital.

hswhis · Answer

So you just told rjroy3 that he's been in a coma for 7 months and woke up 3 months ago. That puts you at technically 8-9 months pregnant. And in your comment to rjroy3 you talk about a possible abortion.

In summary, you're 8-9 months pregnant, contemplating an abortion, leaving your boyfriend who doesn't even realize you are pregnant nor does he know who you are.

You do know that this story is starting to reek of lies...

Cherokeehp · Answer

This is tragic. If I were you I'd stick with him for a while. Give him time to recover. Besides, you two fell in love for a reason. Spend time with him and maybe you can remind him of his memories or maybe you two can start all over and make it work. You should definitely tell him about the baby though.

Anonymous · Answer

If he doesn't love you anymore then you don't need to feel bad for finding another boyfriend. After all if you don't mean anything to him, it isn't like he would be heartbroken if you left. Your being pregnant however means that you should try and keep the father of your child in your life to some extent, for the sake of the baby. His memory may come back, and it might not. Your child still needs a father, and he deserves a chance to know his child.

HoodedCrow · Answer

It'll all come back to him eventually. Just give him time

Katy16 · Answer

Don't you love him enough to be there for him and help him? 3 weeks isn't long for amnesia.

RavenEssence20 · Answer

Its going to take time, this is a brain injury. Be patient with him. Don't hide anything from him. Re-introduce yourself to him again, as in learn each other as couple all over again.

Anonymous · Answer

I understand why you would want to leave because you feel you'll have nothing in common it's like you'll are strangers all over again. Howevee, what makes it bad is the fact that you are wanting to leave him without even trying. You seem a bit selfish.. if you truly cared for him you would stick by him and help him remember why he fell in love with you again

rthomas43 · Answer

I don't believe for one second that your story is true.

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh · Answer

If that's how little you think of him then you definitely should leave him. Do him a massive favour and let him find someone who actually give a damn about him. At least he doesn't remember you so won't be upset about the breakup. He does deserve to know about his kid though.

Anonymous · Answer

Close your eyes and picture this... What if YOU were in the car accident and you couldn't remember your bf after waking up from a coma.. Would you want him to leave or stay? It's pretty messed up if you just leave him. It's not his fault. If anything he needs you more than ever... And you're just gonna leave? What the hell chick!

rjroy3 · Answer

Even if he doesn't remember he should know he has a kid. DNA test if necessary to show him it's for real and has responsibilities. But dumping him... wow

Anonymous · Answer

No offense but. Are you stupid? Your gona give up that easy... Really? Have u like even gotten a diagnosis from the doctors? And c'mon don't be so full of urself, I'm sure he forgot MORE people then just u. Make it work for ur baby.

In my opinion, you should tell him exactly who u r and all the memories u shared... And tell him about the baby definetely. He has the right too know he's gona be a father. Like what if he gets all his memory back? If not all sum, even if he gets no memories back it shouldn't make a difference because he can grow to know u again. And be able to be a father to his child.

Anonymous · Answer

Loyalty? What the hell does that mean?

Fezziwig · Answer

It's been 3 weeks. I think a little more time would be warranted, given the circumstances.

Rocky19 · Answer

You know one thing I kno without asking is that you never loved him if you want to leave already plus you sound like a bitch to me.. You just want to run to the next guys arms..

thechica · Answer

Its a bad idea! Just let time pass by, the memories will come back. I hope! My antie had a brain tumor she went in coma like your bf. She did not remember any thing!! Few months pass by now she is good!! So stay with him support him!!! :)

AshleyMD · Answer

You don't leave someone in their weakest moment. If he loved you and you love him, you need to tell what happened and the history between you two. The good time, the bad times and the baby.

Random_chick_2384 · Answer

Why on Earth would u leave? What if he came back and remembered u? But u are with another guy. Even of he didn't remember he could still fall back in love with u. Never loss hppe

Youngstud10 · Answer

You didn't go this far with having a baby with him just to leave him, that would be completely selfish of you, stick with him

Tokana · Answer

I don't think I've ever seen a poll as lob-sided as this one.

Anonymous · Answer

wow that's terrible, I think you should just tell him the truth. See what happens from there. The truth will set you free

Anonymous · Answer

Stay with the guy. He's lost his memories and you can stick with him, waiting for them to return. They will, so just wait.

HonestWhiteGuy · Answer

Wow you are ready to leave him that fast after a coma huh? "These hoes ain't loyal".

gapminder · Answer

Head trauma takes time to heal. What put him in the coma?

Jake21 · Answer

He needs you. Stay with him and tell him and use the baby as proof that you two really were and are something special.

Wannabeyour · Answer

I think you should try and get them to fall back in love with you.

Anonymous · Answer

damn, remind me to never date you please

existing_not_living · Answer

Haven't you ever seen the movie The Vow? SMH.

Kyndra · Answer

That'd make you a terrible girlfriend.

mankaQii · Answer

If you have photos show them to him

Victoria_xoxo · Answer

You would be a terrible person to leave

Anonymous · Answer

Frustration is a strange thing.

Anonymous · Answer

Soap opera episode? Or a movie?

My boyfriend had a car accident and he doesn't remember me or that i'm pregnant. Should I leave him? What do you think :'(?

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