My boyfriend had a car accident and he doesn't remember me or that i'm pregnant. Should I leave him? What do you think :'(?

[Anonymous]

He just wake up from the coma three weeks ago and doesn't remember anything even me! I've tried to tell him everything about us but he can't remember anything :( I'm really disappointed and confused. Today i thought about leaving him and moving on, he should start a new life. Guys i didn't tell him about the baby because i was really shocked when he asked who i am! Maybe i could tell him that we were best friends or something and stay as his friend, right?

Good idea (leave)

Bad idea (stay)

[bijinbijinbijin]

Oh no that is so unfortunate. I think you should wait longer. Does he rememebr his family? How long have you been together?

If you were together only for a couple of months and your relationship hadn't gotten serious yet then you could try being the friend and stay in touch with him because the baby needs to have a relatinship with his father whether you and him are in a relationship or not.

However if you two have a good history with each other and love each other then I think you should keep trying to refresh his memory. Show him pictures of you two together. If you guys gave each other gifts then bring the gifts and show them to him to try to refresh his memeory. If you love him then wait longer becasue he may get his memory back soon. If the baby is born and he still hasn't gotten his memory back by then I would just stay friends with him and still let him see his baby.

Even if you are not able to rekindle the relatinship you have with your babys father you still shouldn't think about dating someone new just yet. Single mothers should not be looking to date at least untill she and her child are in a stable situation

I know a lot of sinlge mothers who have had their priorities mixed up and before they could get their baby into preschool and herself having a steady job, she ended up pregnant again with someone elses child and the guy decided that the child wasn't his so he left her. So please dont think about dating anyone else anytime soon. Just focus on helping the father and making sure your baby is a healthy one.

[loveisbeautiful]

What about your baby? Have you thought about that? This isn't really about you,
it's about your boyfriend who had an accident that was clearly bad enough to leave him in
a coma and a baby who's depending on you to make to choices for him/her. Leaving
your boyfriend and not telling him he's a gonna be dad, is just wrong. If you love him,
truly love him. Then you won't leave him or keep him in the dark about having a child on
the way. If you don't, then I guess you;ll do what you're considering and leave. The choice
is yours, but just imagine if the roles were reversed and you just woke up from a coma
and didn't remember anyone, how would you feel if your boyfriend just bailed on you?

I'm no doctor, but I'm sure if you asked one they'd tell you the best way to help
someone remember is to reaquiant them with there life before the accident. Showing
them pictures, taking them to places they loved or places they went with there special someone,
showing them were they lived, just telling them about things to spark there memory. Try
that with him, if his family isn't already. Also realize, he was in a coma so him waking up is
a miracle in it's self, but him remembering is gonna take sometime and you need to be
patient. Hopefully, you'll be there for him. If not, you do eventually have to tell him about
the baby, it's the right thing to do.

[Asker]

I was waiting for him to ask about his baby because he knew that he was going to be a father and he was happy. Now i don't know he just staring without even say anything about my pregnancy. You're going to say that I'm stupid and i know i am but i swear I'm still shocked and sad at the same time.

[loveisbeautiful]

I don't think you're stupid and I understand that your shocked and sad, that's a normal
reaction. However, anybody who's in a coma runs the risk of waking up without a memory.
I'm surprise the doctors didn't warn all of you of that, because that's always a possibility.
I just think you need to understand as hard is this is for you, it's worse for him. Can
you imagine waking up not knowing where you are or who you are, with all these
strange people that you don't remember staring at you and seeing the disappointment on there
faces when they realize you don't remember them? So, I think you need just remember that and be there for him. He needs a support system.

[BuchitaBuchys]

50 First Dates?

Jk.

But I think it's heartless for you to even consider leaving him :/
You do realize it's normal to have amnesia if he's had head injuries? Maybe it'll take a couple weeks, maybe a few months, maybe even years. But it's not his fault.
I know it's hard for you, but what will happen the day he does snap out of it and realizes that you just left him instead of dealing with it? He will also miss the hell out of that baby he never saw.

I'd stay. Try to jog his memory again. There's therapy for that I think. You just have to be patient.
It's up to you in the end. Best of luck.

[TripleAce]

50 first dates was a fun movie lol

p. s. we agree on more then one opinion, this is number 2, but who's counting ;)

[BuchitaBuchys]

@TripleAce I loved that movie. It was so cute.

We tend to conflict more than agree lol I'm counting :P

[dons220]

I apologize on behalf of all the guys telling you your a bad person wanting to leave.

It must be some frustration having built a relationship and have a baby with someone just to have them not remember any of it. And you can't really expect him to just find those feelings again when he himself just woke up to a, for all intents and purposes, alien workd with no memories. Deep seated Emotions are dependent on memories.

This is what I would do, tell him exactly the truth. Say you understand he doesn't remember anything, but explain to him that before his accident you two had a great relationship and you were his girlfriend. Explain to him that how you feel torn about putting that on him when you know you can't expect him to have those feelings just because you say you two are together. See how he reacts to that. Make sure he knows you not trying to push yourself on him but that you needed him to know that.

I'm not sure about telling him about the baby, I would say tell him about it just because it is his baby after all, and he deserves to know. But I guess you can see how he reacts to you first. But make it clear that regardless of all that you want to make sure he has a good recovery and that you're there to help with that if he needs it.

Good luck to you. He may well remember everything as time goes on. The brain is amazingly plastic, so he might just need something to connect those neural connections again.

[Asker]

Thank you :'(

[yaddayaddayadda02]

You're pretty fucking harsh if you're willing to dump a guy after a traumatic injury.

[Asker]

What should i do? I tried everything and i stayed with him but it's not working! Do you really think it's that easy for me? Do you have a better idea?

[dartmaul15]

the problem is that he have (from what i understand) essentially got his mind wiped. He doesn't even remember they were together in the first place.
And what's worse, clinging to a guy who does not remember you (and quite posibly never will), or moving on to ensure your kid gets a happy upbringing? There's a limit to how long you should linger...

But if i'm to voice my opinion, i'd say OP should wait a little longer. It might take some time to regain lost memories, and if you're lucky he will start to rememeber. If he however does not remember after some time, i think OP should do what's best for her happiness and what's best for her kid.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

It's been only three weeks. Recovery could take a while and he may eventually regain some of his memory. And if his personality is mostly in tact, wouldn't you still love him?

[Asker]

I do. I wish i can help him but i don't know how.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

So you stick by his side. Bring things from your relationship around him. Mementos, pictures from trips, whatever. See if you can stimulate his memory about it.

[Asker]

I will do my best i just wish he could remember his baby. That would be so easy for me.

[Yaeza]

Jesus, you act like his amnesia is some cold and it should be over already, it's not, amnesia is unpredictable, and could last a month, a week, a day, to years and forever, but leaving him when he can't remember ANYTHING is just mean and harsh. You need to stay with him, for two major reasons, you are carrying his baby, for one, and two, (this relates to number one) what if his memory comes back after you leave him, think how betrayed he would feel that you run off with his baby when he's having such a traumatic experience.

[Asker]

Maybe i thought about leaving him but i didn't really mean it. :(

[Yaeza]

Good.

[spandex74]

First, you need to know that you're hurting. I think you know, but you need to say it to yourself. Not only is he in a bad place, so are you, and your unborn child.

Your question didn't come out right, I think you're asking "what the heck do I do?" You love him and it's okay for you to give him love and support. He might not love you in return at this time, but you should know (like many others said) that memory does come back. However, you want to think about it as starting all over again. It is a new experience, it is a unique experience, it is what makes the two of you together. Sure he may not feel like you're "together" (I'm not clear on the living situation, whether you two live together). But in the long run, he's going to recognize who you are -- with you just being who you've been.

I'd definitely suggest that you two go to therapy together. You should enlist the help of your family and his family, as coming together to reflect will bring more meaning to his life -- in the process of finding your relationship again.

Best wishes.

[madhatters4]

it takes time for a person to regain parts of their memory after a coma. sometimes they'll never get it back but with therapy, time, patient and cognitive exercises people can usually regain a large amount, if not all of their memory... I went through the same with my mom after she was in an accident.

if you love this guy you need to try and be patient

[wonderhappytime]

Well... Personally I'd stay and hope he remembers. It'll be rough doing all these things for you, having all these memories about him, and he just says "who are you". But you guys pray... Because let's say he remembers 3 months from now and you are no longer there? What will he think? I know, are you suppose to just wait forever until you're 90? Well, its only been 3 weeks. Wait and then consider that problem. Stay strong. I'm sorry I don't have much experience to give you valuable advice.

[Asker]

You did well thank you so much.

[Gemstone2411]

I'm shocked that you put staying as a bad idea! He is your baby's Dad's!

If my boyfriend was in the same situation as yours, I would be upset that he's forgotten me but I would stay and remind him of us and everything else in his life before the accident. I would never give up on him!

[Asker]

I mean by bad idea that i shouldn't leave him not staying with him is a bad idea. :(

[Gemstone2411]

Well understand that you're going to get a lot of negativity for considering leaving him. I know it's hard for you right now but just because he's lost his memory this won't affect his ability as a father. Tell him you are having a kid together, show him pictures of his childhood, his teen years, of you two together as a couple. Even if he doesn't remember he'll feel more comfortable around you knowing you two have a history.

[Anonymous]

Full House did an episode once where Michelle fell off her horse (horseback riding). They had her lose her memory for the episode and she couldn't remember anything (obviously). They were told to just give it time and to go about their lives as if nothing happened. Slowly but surely, she regained her memory.

Disney's "Shake It Up" also did the same sort of thing at the very end of the show where they had what's her name lose her memory but in the end, she got it back.

Yes, I realize both were only half hour episodes and memory doesn't just reappear after 30 minutes IRL butttt, I think you get the point. If you truly love him etc.. you'll wait, if not, then you'll leave. I would be heartbroken though if I got my memory back and found out you had moved on, especially since you're pregnant with my baby

[Asker]

He told me that he can't remember me being in his life or that he ever loved me. And he didn't see me before. What do expect me to say when i heard that? I thought that he might be want to start a new life and it's better for him if i left but i couldn't.

[Opinion Owner]

Women, always trying to rush things along... give him some time yo, HE JUST WOKE UP

[NovemberJoseph]

If I was in your position and he was a girl, I'd stay with her until the memories come back. If they never do, I'd make her fall in love with me all over again. Create new memories. If it happened once, it can happen again. And I'm sure she'd get déjà vu when she starts catching feelings for me again :p

[Asker]

It's not that easy especially with all this pressure on me plus the baby.

[NovemberJoseph]

It's not easy to stay with the person you "love?"

Show him pictures of your relationship as proof. Literally the only thing preventing you from staying with him would be he himself.

[Asker]

You're absolutely right.

[TripleAce]

Listen carefully: Usually in traumatic events, short term memory is whats affected, not long term. Over time his memory most likely will come back OR bit and pieces will if the event didn't damage areas where long term memory is stored

You were a part of his life, he will know eventually

How can you leave him so horrible, and it being hard on you is no excuse, your suppose to be the strong one to be there for HIM who's been in accident. Wow

[Asker]

I didn't leave! I don't think you'll understand what it feels like.

[TripleAce]

It really doesn't take being in a situation to understand it
I understand it

running away is not the solution

[TripleAce]

lastly he's the father of your child

Not telling him or leaving and never letting him know whether he remembers or not, is very horrible

He would not appreciate that whether he remembers you or not, and your child would probably hate you for it once he's old enough

Think about it...

[Asker]

He knew that I'm pregnant but he can't remember it now. He can see that i'm pregnant now but he doesn't care of even ask me about it, that's why i'm shocked and i don't know how to tell him about it.

[TripleAce]

Just give it time

Imagine you woke up from a horrible accident and dont remember a thing then you have your whole to catch up on including a baby and a gf

I can tell you one thing for sure, its probably harder on him then on you...

BUt I understand what your saying, give it some time really, give it a real chance. IF once you've given it a real chance and then its just not working for you, by all means you can do whatever you want and probably should leave..

BUT before you do that really make sure and give it a fair chance..> A fair chance is waiting until its 90% his memory is not coming back AND he's refusing to let you in his life

[Asker]

I don't have much choices. I'll stay with him because i need him too and I'll do my best to help him.

[nickbrick]

Sometimes memory comes back. Try to get him to remember all the happy times you had with him. The things you liked to do. The places you enjoyed going to together. Likely his personality will be the same so you can still love him. Stick it out. If he loved you before then he can fall in love with you again. It isn't just your baby. Its his too. Hopefully his memory comes back, but if it doesn't stay with him. He problably needs more help than you do and having someone to support him will make him feel happier. It will be like a do over. All the bad things between you guys you can fix. Again. Hopefully he gets his memory back, but if not try to make the best of things. Keep me updated.

Stay Positive,
Nickbrick

[Asker]

Thank you.

[nickbrick]

Your welcome. And I'm sorry for all those critizizing you on your orginal comment about leaving him. I get it. Sometimes when we are under serious stress crazy thoughts come into your head. And I'm sure you still love him. :)

[Asker]

I do :)

[douride2]

I feel for you I really do. I was the one in the accident 15 at the time. Big pieces of my childhood were just gone Some came back most of it was just gone. Some are saying stay what would you do if it was reversed. It couldn't be reversed you have an unborn child to to think of. Don't push it give him time but make plans to move on if he doesn't come around. It may never come back. What ever you decide I wish you the best.

[Asker]

Thank you :(

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

That would be so cruel to do that to him. Seriously if i had a girlfriend/ wife i would
stay with her if she was on her death bed... That's the kind of guy i am !!!

[Asker]

What if you was in my situation? Pregnant, lost your boyfriend, you can't sleep or eat and the most important thing you can't stop thinking about him all the time. What if you tried everything you can and he just told you that he can't remember anything.

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

I still stay with the girl i wouldn't leave her life

[Asker]

Forever?

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Yes forever ma'am

[Asker]

You're a good man.

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Thank you :-))

[Stacyzee]

I'm questioning your love for him.
If my partner ever had a traumatic accident... I wouldn't leave him in a heartbeat.
I would stay with him and support him.
It's one thing if you can't handle it and you decide to move on with your life at some point.
But right after his accident... you're ready to bail?
It all just seems like you never cared for him in the first place.

You should be part of his recovery process.
After all you two are linked together (whether you want to ignore that fact or not) forever.

[Anonymous]

Well I'm not anywhere near your position but what would you want if you were in his shoes? Just honestly tell him what happened before he got into coma. If he can fall for you once he will again right?

[Asker]

How? He just told me that he doesn't have feelings for me in my face which makes me disappointed more than i am.

[Opinion Owner]

For example, imagine if you woke up one day and you didn't know the person laying next to you was your boyfriend. What would you want from him? For him to leave just like that or say you were friends, or stay with you and get through it together?

I understand it was hurtful that's why I think you should tell him you were his girlfriend and not lie and say you were friends or something ( you will regret that ). Also what others said: give him time, he will probably regain some of his memory.

Have patience and hang in there!
Good luck

[Asker]

I'll stay with him. :'(

[Opinion Owner]

For now I personally think you should. If after a few months it's still bad you can always reconsider. Just wouldn't want you to make a rash decision now and regret it later on.

[Asker]

There's a huge pressure on me, this baby will come very soon and i don't know if i can make him remember or not. I feel like I'm dreaming it's just… i don't know.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes I can understand that, but give yourself and himself a little while to come back to earth and think things through as calmly as possible. Talk to your parents/friends etc. for their opinion they are closer to your life then we are.

[CheeseLoveWhiz]

He should know the truth, especially about the child you will be having together. It'll take time for him to recover and you have to be patient with him. Whether or not the relationship pans out is a different story but, he should know everything about your relationship.

[purplishone]

Will you leave him in these bad days of him? I can't judge you but you could be in that car and you could live the same scenario. If i were you, i'd stay and fight for my love.. and for my child.. if you really loved him, answer is very clear. This is my idea.

[jacquesvol]

You should at least wait until you get a final diagnosis from doctors.

Memory is a strange thing : it's not certain it won't come back.

[Asker]

I realized that I'm terrible and selfish so i won't leave him.

[MoodIndigo]

I am terribly sorry for all of those rude comments, don't even bother trying to explain anything to them. I think you know the right thing to do and can consider what your boyfriend would have wanted. Everything gets better...

[Asker]

Thank you! At least you can understand my feelings.

[MoodIndigo]

I'll be hoping it goes well with you (:

[Mysterio421]

WTF? Is this EVEN A QUESTION? Wow my age group and generation is doomed. First thing, why would you leave him? His memories will return. Your not only being selfish, especially in the baby being with the father, your clueless. What if you lost your memories temporarily and your family was in your position and then they left you or your husband was in your place and you were in his place? Disgusting, in my opinion

[OnceUponADream143]

Stay there for him, support him. Show him photos of you guys together, tell him stories of your time together, and be patient.

[Asker]

I'm trying to be patient i swear but with the pregnancy i can't control myself.

[OnceUponADream143]

now I'm curious. @DiscordWhoovesx so what if what happened to her bf happened to me and I unintentionally lost my memory of you? would you leave me or what would you do?

[DiscordWhoovesx]

I'd stay do my best talk about us tell stories about us care for you and try to figure out how to unlock your memories

[OnceUponADream143]

@DiscordWhoovesx awwww. <3

[CommieDearest]

You thought about leaving him?

Not very ride or die are you? This is happening to him a hell of a lot more than it's happening to you. Does it suck for you? Fuck yes... but damn you really should stick around and be there for him a while before you ditch him. I wouldn't even consider jumping ship from my bf so soon.