Is it weird that I don't like older men? Is it so bad to not want a "provider"?

[Anonymous]

I'm 24 and I prefer guys my age or a few years younger. I also don't mind 1-2 year older but no more.

My friend has been judging me for my preference because she likes guys 10 years older. She thinks women should get with men who are older because apparently they all want marriage and are all providers. She say I will also never find a guy that prefer an older girl even if its just 1 year and that guys always prefer as young as possible.

I don't want a "provider". I make good money and although I would like more of course, I want to earn it myself. I don't need or want contributions from another person. I don't want kids so I don't have to worry about that. What I want is a companion who I can have fun with and enjoy life with. Is that weird/unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

That's pretty normal. Women who prefer much older men are less common.

Most guys care more about looks than age, honestly. A span of +/- 5 or so years is about the same once people hit their mid to late twenties. A fit person with good skin care can look better than an overweight person who doesn't take care of him or herself. Genetics play a part, of course, too. Your friend is defending a personal preference (and perhaps insecurity) too zealously.

I've dated both younger and older guys. I've watched others date with their own preferences as well. Stuff like being really overweight, being neurotic, drug and alcohol issues, being closed off, utter financial disarray, emotional complication will deter more guys than a few years.

[Opinion Owner]

Being too wrapped up in your career can be a deterrent, though. Guys do take a lot of attention and feminine energy (aka letting them be stars and nurturing them). You've gotta walk a line, there. Honestly, make workaholics aren't great for relatuinships either, but money-minded women will tolerate it for luxury.

[Opinion Owner]

*male workaholics, that should say. Also, there is a category of men who appreciate sugar mamas. Usually creative types. Reliability, routine and responsibility isn't always their thing, so you've got to be flexible if you go that route.

[Trailblazer23]

lol I know way more girls who are into older guys than the opposite. Maybe that is true of women in your age group.

[Opinion Owner]

Note that I said "much" older, like who friend who prefers guys 10 years older.

[Asker]

I like those creative types so that's perfect! They're almost opposite of me because more logic minded. I am a workaholic but I don't think I come across like one. I leave work at work and outside of work I snap out of my serious and focused mode and be myself which is a playful and fun-loving person. I want to deter all of the grumpy grandpa's who take everything too seriously

[Opinion Owner]

They can be fun! The only drawback s that they don't always follow a schedule, may be disorganized and do things like not show up on time, start to expect you to pay without appreciation, not value monogamy, etc. The key is being patient & finding the right fit.

[xobrowneyedbeauty]

I dont think its weird or unreasonable. I personally don't go for guys younger than me because they seem immature. I think you're still young enough though that your friend is wrong that guys won't go older. Sure guys want young girls sometimes but as long as you're like 20-26ish you're still a young woman. You could probably get an older guy super easily at your age but why do it if it's not what you want

[Asker]

I think I like the immaturity, because I'm also like a big kid myself plus my appearance is like a 15 year old. I tried to date an older guy and it sucked. He never wanted to do anything fun/childish. He was only 28 but I felt like I was dating a 60 year old.

[Anonymous]

Wow what makes your friend such an expert?
I'm glad to have seen this. You actually want to stand on your own and find a guy to stand beside you. That's awesome. You are a true modern woman. Most women only think they are modern, but look for a more traditional type of guy, one who wants to support them. Times are changing. Women will now be expected to have a career to match her guys. Guys will not want to support a woman. Time for women who are not already, to start pulling their own weight.
'I want a guy who will support me and I'd like to contribute as much or as little as I like.' Women don't want to be traditional, but still want a traditional man. With the death of traditional women, comes the death of the traditional man.

[Asker]

I beleive in traditional gender roles if that's what both parties wan and agree on. I however, will pull my own weight. It goes without saying. Its something that I do naturally and I can't immediately associate it as a man's role because I am a girl and its something I have always done. I was raised by a single father and he taught me not to rely on a man's resources. At age 14 I got my first job scrubbing floors. Those values he instilled in me is the reason I'm so accomplished as a somewhat young woman lol. Most girls are raised in a different way I guess... plus societal conditioning. My friend is 2 years older than me. She has been dating since middle school. I have just started dating. So she pretty much thinks she knows everything. She means well I'm sure.

[NerdInDenial]

Remember, marriage is just not about love. It's business merger. So, ideally you want to "merge" with someone who has financial stability and someone you love as well. You can definitely find young professionals that are around your age and make pretty good money. It's not unreasonable to want what you are seeking.

[Trailblazer23]

it's unusual but not weird. I wouldn't date a girl older than me because the maturity difference would be too extreme. I have the maturity level of about an 18 yo girl.

[Asker]

"I have the maturity level of about an 18 yo girl."
So do I except when it comes to my career

[Anonymous]

Guys don't go for older girls normally because 95% of young girls would never date a guy younger so it's a waste of time to go for an older woman.