Am I my boyfriend's second choice? Is he getting bored of me?

[linacrystal9]

I've been dating my boyfriend how 1 year & 2 months. I recently found out in the beginning of us talking seriously he was also talking to another girl about being serious at the same time. They end up dropping it because he wanted to be more than friends but she didn't want to. They got into a big aruguement then the next day he apologize & said he can't drop her or ignore her but they ended up because she repeatly kept saying they shouldn't talk cause it's not going anywhere. Then a couple months later me and my boyfriend became official. Now it seems like he lost interest in me because he's not the same romantic guy he was back then. He doesn't show he cares, love or appreciate everything I do for him. I am always there for him but when I need him he disappears. Everytime I talk to him about this or how I feel he ends up getting mad and ignores me and will not talk to for a day if I'm still upset about it. But he still tells me he still wants to be with him & he does love me. It's just how he "is". He's way too comfortable with me. He knows I'm not going anywhere, so he takes me for granted. He still doesn't know I know about that one girl, I don't know if I should bring it up because it sucks knowing I was the second choice. & now he seems like he's bored of me.

[Hannah591]

It sounds like he is and if you're feeling that way, then it's probably true. Maybe he's talking to that girl again? He sounds quite immature. Even if you're bored of your SO, you don't treat them like that if something's bothering them and they come to you for advice.

You were onto something when you said "he knows I'm not going anywhere". I get the feeling he likes a chase, he did with that girl but you provide no chase. Some guys like a chase. Maybe you should be a bit distant with him, don't reply as quickly, don't give so much of yourself to him so easily and see how he responds. If it works, he may pay more attention to you and you could explain how you're feeling. If he gets agitated and denies everything and acts immature again, then he's not worth your time any more. If he doesn't really respond, is happy going days without talking to you, then he doesn't care for you and that's a sign you should leave.

[PonyCar]

You were the second choice as far as I can tell, not that that's relevant now.

At 2 months you're probably getting past the honeymoon phase of the relationship where things typically cool down a bit. I'd say it's time to just ask him in concise (but polite) manner if he's getting bored of you or if he sees the relationship going anywhere BECAUSE lately you've been feeling unappreciated and that's not the type of relationship you can work with long term.

Phrase it the way you want, but be make your point in no uncertain terms.

If he says things aren't going to change or he sees the relationship going nowhere, end it and move on.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

sounds like he's with you because he can't be with her. bringing it up to him isn't gonna change the fact that the only reason he;s dating you is because she friend zoned him and you were the consolation prize. his actions are telling you whats up so either break up with him and save your dignity, or stay with him and wait around for him to dump you for another girl he really does like

[happymike16]

guys do this, you shouldn't put up with that, guys don't really take girls on real dinner dates, or hold the car door open, if they do they do it for a little bit get with you then its like whatever, it s time for guys to start doing there part again, he will miss you when your gone.

[shadowlegend]

Hmm, it does sound a bit like you were second choice, sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear, but if he chose you because he couldn't have the other girl, that's a terrible reason to start a relationship.

[Anonymous]

We'll sadly it sounds like it but here's the thing with guys you never know she could have been the second choice telling both of you the same thing. And yes guys do take females for granted , but if it's really bothering I believe you should speak up on it regardless of his actions and then I would flip the switch and act like he is towards him , he will see a difference but it's up to you really, let him go and he will realize

[taugem]

It sounds like you are, you do not deserve this treatment in the first place no matter what has happen you should value yourself, let him go then he will realize how much he needs you