My boyfriend goes to hookah bars with his friends and I am very adverse to smoking. What should I do?

[lePoivre]

I love my boyfriend and I'm not going to leave him just for this (so don't even suggest it), but him going to hookah bars with his friends makes me uncomfortable. Most of the deaths in my family have come from smoking related cancers, so the idea of him doing a similar thing they did concerns me. He doesn't go too frequently, fortunately, but he used to smoke before meeting me and I don't want him getting back into it. I've already told him how I feel about smoking and he's said he has no intention of going back, but still...
What should I do? I don't want to put him on a leash, or make him feel like I am, so do I tell him how it bothers me that he does hookah or just let it be?

[linkywinky]

People are going to do what they want if they want to do it badly enough, no matter anyone's opinion. You can tell him it bothers you, but you can't demand or expect him to quit for you.

My grandpa is going through end stage emphysema right now. He was just induced into a coma the other week and he almost didn't make it. You think my parents and sister who are all avid smokers have taken a hint? Nope, they still blissfully smoke on.

You can't change someone who doesn't want to change, but with a boyfriend at least you can choose to stick around and potentially be hurt on the off-chance he does get cancer, or walk.

[TimesNewRoman]

Just let im do his thing with his buddies. Im sure you do some things he's not too thrilled about but thats you and you do what you do.. Let him do what he do. Mutual respect in a relation is awesome.

[lePoivre]

I don't know, I'm pretty lame. About the only thing I do without him is play MMORPGs, read books, go to Denver Comic Con, etc.; geeky stuff, in other words. Which he says he loves about me. Maybe it's the things I don't do that bother him. Hmm... There's something to think about.

[BurtonTricks]

Does he go like everyday, or like once a week or something like that?

[lePoivre]

I don't know how often, but I know it's not everyday. Maybe a once or twice a month. I know that's not much, but again, smoking anything shoots off red flags in my mind 😞

[BurtonTricks]

Smoking hookah once or twice a month is nothing compared to smoking a pack a day. While smoking in general is bad, I think you're over reacting just a tad bit.

[lePoivre]

Okay I guess sorry...

[BurtonTricks]

Don't be sorry. If it bothers you that much, talk to him more about it. Ultimately, if you just can't deal with it, step away from the relationship.

My girlfriend is the same as she hates it when I hookah, but I rarely do it. Probably like twice a year or something like that, so it's not an issue at all. I know that doing it twice a year won't cause any harm to my body compared to fully smoking one or two packs a day.

[lePoivre]

That's true... Thanks for the advice. I was doing some research on hookah before I posted this and that got me even more nervous/ protective than I already was. Thank you for tolerating it and helping me ^^;

[BurtonTricks]

anytime :)

[rthomas43]

Fucking women.
Take the man as he is, or don't be with him.

[lePoivre]

I'm taking him as he is already, aren't I? =\ I'm just wondering if I should confide my discomfort in him.