I broke up with my boyfriend because I caught him flirting with other girls again on his social media accounts. Did I make the right decision?

[Anonymous]

My ex and I dated for six years. It has always been so hard for him to apologize and admit his mistakes, but I kept giving him chances. I felt like I've always been the one saving the relationship, so I decided to end it last week. I know this is going to sound pretty shallow, but I saw that he liked this girl's picture on his social media account. She was the same girl we had an argument about a while ago. I told him that I'm a little jealous of her, so I would appreciate it if he stopped giving her the attention since she has flirted with him in the past. He just said that he didn't do anything wrong, never apologized, and let me go. Part of me didn't want to break up because I invested so much time and effort in the relationship, but I felt like I was being unfair to myself if I would let him get away with it again. It just sucks because he could let me go like it was nothing. He did send me a few texts asking if I wanted some stuff I left at his house, but I just said to throw them away. But he never apologized and acknowledged that I got upset because of that girl.

[Suhmer]

YES. I had the same problem with my ex it was a nightmare! We'd have a huge argument about it, I'd try to just nip it in the bud but he'd blow up over it, but eventually agree to stop. Few months down the line, he'd do it again! I'd try to stop him, big argument but he stops, then did it again. It was just a constant circle and for over 2 years it never stopped, and I don't think it ever would have (he used to have arguments about it with girls in past relationships too!). Unless they're really committed and sorry about doing it (although they always seem sincere at the time.. its why we forgive them...) they won't stop. I think it shows a disrespect to the relationship, especially when they KNOW it will upset you and yet they do it anyway! Why would you do something you KNOW would upset your partner? It's inconsiderate, selfish, disrepsectful and just... Ugh. Get rid. They never learn. Sorry to hear you had a crappy situation like this, but you had much more courage than me to do it earlier!

[Asker]

Hi Suhmer,

Exactly, I do feel like he's not going to change. We dated for six years, so I kept giving him chances. I caught him probably five times flirting with other girls, but I kept telling myself that guys are just like that. It just sucks because I really love him, but he still needs time to grow up. Part of me wants to talk to him in person, but I think it's better to leave it.

And I hope you found a better guy who would treat you better!

[Suhmer]

I only broke up recently so not yet but I hope you do too! Some guys might be like that but there's no reason we can't find guys who aren't like that! They will be out there...

[xHoneyxBeex]

If you felt like it was the right thing to do, then don't look back. Overthinking it and second-guessing your decision could just make you end up right back with him and in the same situation. After 6 years, it's unlikely that he would have changed. I'm not going to say whether or not it was wrong for you to break up because of him liking another girls' picture. That's not my place to say. But what I can say is, if this has been a consistent issue throughout your relationship and it bothers you when he does things like that, then you did the right thing by ending it.

[Asker]

Yeah, you're right. And it's also so disappointing that he could just let me go like 6 years was nothing to him. I wouldn't be surprised if he was already talking to somebody else and trying to move on.

[xHoneyxBeex]

Well if that's the case then that should only reinforce in your mind that you did the right thing. I know it sucks but I think as time goes on, you'll be able to come to peace with your decision, you'll be able to move on, and hopefully find someone who will care a lot more about you.

[Asker]

I hope so. Thank you so much for your advice.

[xHoneyxBeex]

You're very welcome. I hope everything works out for you.

[ninetynine]

You made the right decision. You had a valid reason to be upset, and as a boyfriend he should have comforted you and assured you it wouldn't happen again, even if he truly didn't mean the "like" in a flirty way. The fact that he let his relationship with you end so easily shows that it wasn't meant to be.

I'm sorry it ended this way, especially considering how long the two of you dated for.

[burlen]

You made the right decision, giving his nonchalant attitude after the breakup. A genuine loving boyfriend would have earnestly sought to win you back with a resolve to stop flirting with this girl. In fact, the relationship lasted that long as a result of your effort, not his unfortunately.

[Asker]

Yeah, you're right. I mean he wasn't the worst boyfriend, but the main problem with him is just that he's a big flirt and I finally realized that I cannot live with that and him for the rest of my life if he's not going to change. I really appreciate your opinion. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Liking a girls photo is a little severe to break up over but as it sounds, there was probably a lot more going on then you have said within the message. If you feel like it was the right thing to do then stand your ground. Don't back out of it. Follow your gut instincts. He should have at least acted like he cared after six years but he didn't. Don't sweat it. Get dressed up and go out with your girls. You deserve better than that treatment.

[Anonymous]

You did the right thing.