My boyfriend says he really likes me. Does that mean he will never love me? How long of "liking" your SO did it take before you fell in love?

[Anonymous]

I care about him a lot. And we were talking and he said he really really likes me. We both arn't at the love stage, but I wonder if he only likes me... will that mean he will never love me? Saying the word like seems so childish to me... like it won't last.
Its been 8 months of dating and its going well. How long did you 'like' *your S/O before you fell in love with them.

[kat_gran]

How much quality time do you spend together and how often do you speak to each other? If it is almost everyday and its for 8 months now, he should already know whether he loves you or not. AND you the same.
He could really honestly and genuinely like you but maybe isn't "loving you" yet.. That is also possible. But then again, are you willing to settle for someone whom you spend everyday with for 8 months and still doesn't love you?

And funny, you say you "care about him alot" but you don't say you "love him" so why are you expecting "him" to say something that you yourself dont even say? It's that a bit hypocritical?

Maybe because you have both just been 'dating' and aren't in an official relationship, you don't share your feelings too much. How is the intimacy in your relationship?

Until there is no true intimacy, both of you will only be testing the water - lukewarm and not ready to dive in. Relationships require commitment and it's a lot of hard work and dedication.. If both of you are not ready to do this, then maybe both of you need to have a look at yourself and find out why you aren't ready to move on to the next step. (Fright? Past relationships gone bad? Hurt? Still lingering over an ex? Other?) There are many reasons... but only you and him can assess yourselves.

Good luck!

[Asker]

Yes it might be hypocritical... im not in love with him yet either. at least i dont think so. We see eachother once sometimes twice a week becuase he works a lot and lives in another town (1hr away) he is moving near me soon, but for now we dont see eachother as much as we would like.

[Asker]

And we are in a relationship we arnt just dating but i guess it rakes time. He said he has never been in love before and that he never fell inlove with his ex... who he was with for 3 years but left her because he was always arguing with him... makes me nervous if he couldnt love her and it was 3 years...

[Lillypad190]

so this is what i can tell you from my own personal experience and i hope it helps. when me and my SO started going out i fell for him and i fell fast i knew i was in love. so i told him i love him one night out in my front yard. but he very gently took me buy the hand and said I'm in deep like with you but I don't know if i love you yet but you make me so happy and i want to be with you. was my pride hurt? yea. but i respected him for being honest. so the next time i saw him i told him I'm going to keep telling you i love you because that's the way i fill about you and i can't hide my fillings. but you do not have to tell me you love till you are ready because the first time you say it i want you to mean it and i can wait. then one day we were at the bus plaza and i guess the sun was hitting my face as he was standing next me and it slipped out i love you Lilly. my heart stopped. it was the best day of my life because he meant it it was his real true fillings and it was worth the wait. i bet you guys will get there to and trust me its worth the wait. also i think it amazing that you do not just through the L word around like so many people do. remember it's a word with wait and meaning.

[bbch25]

Well, you have interest in someone, which develops into liking and feelings which develops into love eventually. So no, it doesn't mean he'll never love you, it just means he may not be there yet. As someone else said, you wrote "I care about him a lot", and you aren't at love yet, so why would you want him to say it yet if you can't say it back without lying?

My SO said it for the first time after about 2 months, and probably felt it for a few weeks before that I think. I've known I felt it for a bit now, I haven't said it yet (my own personal reasons) but he knows I feel the same way. And we've been together a few months now.

Some feelings develop faster than others. You mention he never fell in love with his ex of 3 years, but you also mention they fought. So it's possible every time he felt his feelings growing for her, they'd fight and the feelings would disappear or something and he was never truly that happy. My SO was in a 7 year relationship before, and yet in our few month relationship he's been more comfortable, more happy etc with me than her. Don't compare yourself to an ex, it'll drive you mad!

[hi2712]

I knew my girlfriend for a year before we hooked up together, we started out as good friends then best friends shortly after. That lasted pretty long, like 8 months before we started liking each other almost at the same time, but we didn't know it was mutual and we exchanged hints for like 10 days before getting in a relationship.

[livehappy]

Awwww 😘

[ccp16]

I only felt love once, and it took almost a a whole year. To say I love someone, is to tell them I envision spending the rest of my life with them and will actively pursue that. Not that I don't believe loving relationships end, but it is certainly a word I don't use lightly.

[XRabbitHeartX]

All people start out "liking" someone. That's standard. Obviously many people now love their partners so it doesn't make any sense why you'd think that because he told you he likes you a lot he won't ever love you..

Sometimes it happens soon, sometimes it takes longer. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 months and even though I "think" love him, I'm not sure 100% what kind of love yet as it's still the honeymoon phase.

[Shorty1991]

Nah it doesn't necessarily mean that he'll never love you. Like you said you two aren't at the love stage yet. This is why I don't believe in love at first sight, there's attraction at first sight which is a crush, but love grows through time. I've never been in love so I can't speak from personal experience. But don't worry, its still early days yet. There's other ways to tell if he loves you. Somehow a lot of people don't like saying "I love you" all of the time, so they prefer to show you through their actions. Think of all the little things he does for you. :)

[kaylaS91]

You pretty much answered your own question by saying that you two have not yet reached the 'love stage'.
Having been together for 8 months is enough time for most to have fallen for their s/o. However, do keep in mind that everyone falls at a different rate, plus not everyone feels the need to verbalize their love, and may choose to simply show it through actions.

I think around the time that I'd been with my boyfriend for 6 months, did I feel like I loved him. However, in hindsight, I realized that I'd already fallen after just a month or so.

[lovedcursed]

me and my boyfriend have been 5 months together now, and he always says i like you so much, but sometimes he says more, like he would say you made me feel things that no body ever could make me feel, he say i now think i have never really loved before, i thought i did but with you,,, it feels different..

[far2gud4u]

Its weird some couples will say after a month or a week and some of my relationships have been like that but my biggest relationship with the guy I love now was a slow burner rather than a flash fire. The good news is the slow burners last longer as things just build whereas the flash fire sorts seem to burn out and dont always survive as the relationship changes too much and appears dull. So dont worry there are no rules... maybe he just doesn't want to put himself out there!

[Floppy]

Why should he ever fall in love with you? People date for a long time and don't fall in love. You both a very young and I think you're making a big deal over what I consider is nothing. You both need to date around. Falling in love is not a natural progression of dating or of having sex. It is part of a maturation process and you both too young to decide you're in love because of some chronologic love meter

[GingerBear]

I 'liked' my boyfriend for about 2 or 3 months before I realised I was in love with him. However, people fall in love at totally different rates. For us, it was fast. We spent huge amounts of time together, spoke almost constantly when we weren't together, and haven't spent a night apart since about 4 months into the relationship.
For someone else, it might take much longer. Especially if you see each other less, talk less, etc.

[Hallokitty]

Oh god this is what a lot of women do, they over think the most littlest things. If it's really bothering you, you need to talk to him about it. Dating 8 months and you can't talk to him about this? Maybe it's not meant to be.

[helpha]

Usually guys have told me they love me pretty soon, after about 3 months-5 months, 8 months would be pushing it for me. I definitely feel very distinct "I love you" feelings after about 2-3 months in if I do have those feelings for someone.

[Mesonfielde]

I don't really keep track of how it changes because for me, love and physical attraction kinda go hand in hand. And I find attractive girls attractive from first glance.

[TheGuyFromMiddleEast]

Falling in love does not depend on liking, or the person. It simply happens. If it hasn't happened in two weeks in a relationship, it's likely never gonna happen. He may love you, but he'll never fall in love with you.

[selmo93]

It's different for different people
Was friends for 10 years with my first boyfriend, a year for my ex. And 3 months with my current boyfriend

[Anonymous]

We were friends a whole year, but by the second day of dating I knew. EVERY relationship is different. If you guys don't see each other much or are young or aren't that physical yet, it may take much longer.

[kevinsilva26]

It won't last, its hard for men to fall more in love with a woman after he has had sex with him. Most of the love a man has for a woman is present before a sexual relationship. Its far more love at first sight for men, sorry girl.

[gelguy0078]

I'd be a little catious about a guy who won't say that, though he must appreciate you being together so long , and at least he is honest and doesn't say what he doesn't mean so there is that.

[Anonymous]

Of course it doesn't mean he will never love you. All relationships are different.

[orphan]

"first comes like"