How to trust my boyfriend even though he hasn't done anything wrong?

[Anonymous]

I know this issue is all me. I have been cheated on by an ex in the past and am now dating a guy who I believe is out of my league. This makes me extremely insecure to the point where I start making up problems that aren't there, like, when he doesn't text me all day (which is rare) I automatically assume that he must be with another girl or whatever else my mind wants to believe. However, 100% of the time that he doesn't text me for a day is because he is visiting his mom. I just hate feeling and thinking this way because he has been the best boyfriend that I have had and we have been talking about moving in and starting a family here in the next year or two. So why do I always worry about him cheating when he has given me no reason to distrust him? How can I get past this so that it doesn't effect mu relationship?

Updates

+1 y

I forgot to mention that it is to a point where I have accused him or had any arguments because of it. I have never snooped through his phone or anything like that either. I just try to keep it to myself.

Updates

+1 y

I haven't accused him*****

[GingerGuy]

It's normal with your history to feel this way but you are handling it the right way (realizing it's your issue and not accusing him of things without reason). You just have to take it a bit further and realize this is a new guy (really think about and accept this), and not all guys are cheaters. Yes it's ok to keep your guard up somewhat but if he gives you no reason to think otherwise, trust him until he proves otherwise. It's not fair to him if you do.

[sawno]

(No opinion because of my AD boycott, GaG has an obnoxious amount of ads and this needs to stop)
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[XRabbitHeartX]

You have to be real with yourself. Trust issues is something you must deal with on your own. You need to decide to put the past behind and give your boyfriend the chance he deserves. No one can help you with that but yourself. You can't move forward if you keep living in the past. Accept what happened before and realize now is different. If you don't, you could lose him and your relationship. It all starts the decision to put the past behind.

[shadowlegend]

It sounds like you need to take time and work on yourself if your insecurity is going to create problems in your relationship. It takes time and deep reflection and steadily building your self-confidence and working on your self-esteem. You need to confront those past relationship and explore how they made you feel, and realize that those people cheated because of who they were, not because of who you are.

[CheshireCat89]

The best way to is to work on yourself. If you can believe in yourself and feel more confident then you won't be caught feeling insecure anywhere near as often. Self love is hard work, but with time you can feel safe and confident a larger part of each day.

[toxicatedpoison]

It's hard to get over past issues in relationships, but you should not bring past relationships into new relationships, as I used to do that a lot. I am insecure, but when you find someone that you say is out of your league, they will slowly go away.

[Thandz01]

You could be insecure due to past relationships. Just take it slow & be honest with him & yourself. Do some soul searching.