My boyfriend is abusive but I love him too much, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

He insults me, treats me like crap, humiliates me in public, makes me cry five times a day and gets more angry. I have tried breaking up several times and then I think of the good times, when he have had fun, he has a great sense of humor when he's in a good mood and sometimes I feel I provoke him too much and that I should be stronger and shouldn't lose my integrity when he gets mad. So I end up calling or messaging him and we get back together.

If he's good, he's too good and when he gets bad, it feels like hell. I really miss the good part when we're apart. I cry for days and go crazy. I feel that the little abuse is better than being lonely and miserable.

Is there anything else I can do?

Also, he's really cute. I am short and chubby and I don't think any decent looking guy with a nice personality will like me. So I better keep this guy.

[thetheme]

This is why women like you don't get any respect... You complain about how he is abusive to you, but then you turn around and name the good qualities that you see so it will balance out. When someone is being abusive and it's making you unhappy it's time to go. Since you are still with him and possibly ignoring all the men out there who are good and that won't be abusive to you, you are just telling everyone in the world that things aren't that bad and you are getting an equal trade of value somewhere. So stop complaining, live it up, and when he is "abusing" you, ask for more because obviously it's not all that bad...

[neverborn]

you are by far the dumbest human being i have ever heard speak.

[Littletad]

The relationship sounds horrible. He somehow, feels superior to you. Hence the constant rude remarks and humiliation. You are only staying with him cause you feel no one else will notice you, which you admitted as well. Is that really wise? A relationship like this will only hurt you more in the end. He is not worth keeping, or worth the trouble. Hopefully you'll learn that someday before it's too late.

[melk8705]

ive been in a situation like this and it ended very bad. get out before its too late. I was actually married to a guy that started being abusive on me and he kept getting more abusive that one day he punched me in my back in front of 5 people and was yelling, those people called the cops and he was arrested. I had had it then, no more so I packed up his stuff and brought it to his dad's house and filed for a divorce and then it was over. I was a little hurt to loose him but I got over it cause I didn't have to deal with the abuse and it felt great :)

[STEPHGIRL]

Plain and simple, you need to get out of that relationship. It is not healthy by any means. Abuse victims always try to rationalize their abusers behavior by saying that they have good times, and that it is their fault their abusers are abusing them. It doesn't matter if you have good times (on occasion), get out of that situation before it gets physical, if it hasn't already.

[biannnnnnn]

what does love have to do with it at this point? This person is bringing you down, when he is suppose to be making you happy. This person is hurting you, putting his dirty hands on you. don't be stupid you better leave this fool. ain't that much love in the world for me to stay with a person like him.

[martyfellow]

I'd propose a 'break' for say a month to see if he can stop being abusive. But, PLAN ON making it permanent. usually this behavior isn't easily changed. He might need professional help the way it sounds.

You might also need counseling since you are too accepting of emotional abuse as I see it!

[neverborn]

notice how the guys say you're stupid. That's because most guys couldn't possibly understand the hold that an abuser can have over a person. Abusers are not evil all around, they're still human beings, so they're capable of having good qualities. but other people have good qualities too, and maybe you can find someone with good qualities that doesn't hurt you like this

[Desires]

You are so dumb. I don't know why anyone would waste their time trying to help someone so foolish to stay in an abusive relationship.

[lost-angel]

You sure your not dating my ex?