Girls, stay-at-home boyfriend/husband?

[Stevo232]

I really would like to stay at home with female headed household/relationship. I went to college but as you know, males generally lack concentration and go easily astray because of testosterone, lust, etc. Therefor nowadays around 70% of graduates are females with professional or master degree. I couldn't keep up in college so I've decided to be stay at home boyfriend/husband. I'll do my best to keep everything in check before girlfriend comes home from work. I'll cook, clean, feed children if my partner decides to have them, I'll cook meal right after I hear my partner is done with work and is underway home, I'll get ready to look more handsome/attractive in case my girlfriend/wife wants to have s3x with me. I'll always greet her with smile, message her and just make sure she'll always be happy.

So I'm wondering if you would date or marry wanna be stay-at-home male like me?

[AmesJane]

I'd date a stay at home guy, but not one like you.
You have a ton of unscientific, false ideas about masculinity and the contributing factors to the higher number of female higher education graduates. Your perception of masculinity seems to be rather negative, like you have a kind of passive acceptance of the (inaccurate) idea that your hormones automatically turn you into significantly less focused, less intellectually able, primitive, lust-driven monkeys.
The way in which you speak about the role of a stay at home partner, seems to be dripping with self-loathing. It feels like you have this idea that you should somehow bend to your partner's every whim, as if you should oblige with whatever your partner wants regardless of your own opinions and aspirations. That's not how relationships work. You're not your partner's servant. Doing the household shit isn't something you do "for" your partner. It's simply part of life and of all the responsibilities you share together. You might decide your partner will carry the responsibility of monetarily providing, and you of maintaining your living space, but that doesn't make you a servant, which is pretty much what you describe here.

For some people, this is a kink. If it is for you, fine. I hope you find someone to live it out with who won't take advantage of it. If it's not though, I strongly suggest you find some help to build some confidence and self-respect, and for the love of reason, learn actual nuanced facts about gender.

[Stevo232]

We males can'y help it, it's in our genes to be driven by lust. If you would be a man then you would understand.

[AmesJane]

No, it's not. If you had any actual broader knowledge of the plenty of research on this, you would know that. Your biased individual experience as someone who happens to have a dick, doesn't actually outweigh comparative neuropsychological and behavioral studies.

To illustrate: on average men think about sex every 40ish minutes, for women, this is 70something minutes. Not that vast of a difference. Better yet: looking at some basic needs in general (sex, sleep, food), men think of ALL their basic needs more often than women do, and off all basic needs, sex is the most often thought of by BOTH men and women. Currently, the most plausible explanation for the difference in frequency between men and women thinking of basic needs, is that this is learned behaviour, not hardwired (as in boys are raised more often to be allowed to cater to their own needs while girls are more often raised to cater to others' needs).

[AmesJane]

Like, I'm sorry for whatever the hell it is that fried your brain so much that you can't break free from this disgustingly passive, animalistic image you have of your gender dude, but damn.

[Stevo232]

You just don't understand, you're a female.

[AmesJane]

No, actually I understand perfectly, because unlike you I actually know a scientific thing or two about how brains and behaviour realistically work, and how gender does and doesn't influence that. I also wonder if you simply have confirmation bias whenever a man doesn't fall into this strawman representation you have of masculinity, or if your environment is just that tailored to your own bias. But if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go have a friendly cup of coffee with a (male) anthropologist and sexologist and discuss this tragic example with him to reaffirm the long, sad way we still have to go before people start actually buying facts over warped, twisted personal manufactured realities.

[MermaidMotel]

Honestly, the both of us would have to be working. I'm the type of person that looks into the future.. not day to day survival. I would like both of us to live comfortably when it comes to retire.. especially, if we plan on retiring somewhere else.. or living in a home.. which gets expensive. Not to mention, the astronomical medical we may both accumulate. There are a lot of future problems that could arise financially that may not be resolved based on one person's income.

Both people can clean.. It's not a hard task. Both people can knock it out in half the time. Cooking isn't hard and doesn't take too long.. espcially with two people doing it. The children are in school for 6-7 hours a day.. during the time we would be working. I don't understand why both parents couldn't work.

[estoydorado1]

So you're saying that you want to stay home all day because you're too consumed with lust and testosterone to think straight? And you want your wife to go out and work full time so that you can sleep in a nice house, eat good food, and do chores? That last part wouldn't really matter to me if you didn't paint the perfect stage for an affair w/ that first part.

If a man asked me to provide for him because he's too horny to even maintain a part-time, stay at home job, I'd laugh and wish him luck with that endeavor. Who'd be seeing to his all consuming "needs" while I'm out busting my behind?

[Gypsy_x]

This

[Stevo232]

We males can't do anything about it, it's in our genes. We're incapable to do much as women can because of testosterone.

[samhradh_leannan]

Tons and tons of men manage to maintain very successful careers despite their biology- just as women do. Dragging yourself to work or class with with abdominal pain and blood pouring out of your genitals is no walk in the park either, but we manage. @Asker You are just making excuses.

[estoydorado1]

@samhradh_leannan Agreed we all have our struggles. He really thought "I'm too horny to work" would make anybody comfortable leaving him alone all day lol. Like wth?

[samhradh_leannan]

I know... it’s ridiculous. Lol. Based on his idea of what men are capable of, he shouldn’t be responsible for a home or kids either, and probably couldn’t manage to be a faithful husband in the first place.

[estoydorado1]

@samhradh_leannan I didn't even think that deep lol. Managing a household and raising children are usually more complicated and stressful than jobs (if done right). With a job you have rules, a few hour shift, and a scope of responsibilities. With children, it's full time and there are no exact rules but so many ways to screw up. I wouldn't trust a guy with crippling nymphomania to raise my kids and handle our limited income.

[samhradh_leannan]

I wouldn’t mind being the higher earner, but it’s difficult to support a family on a single income these days. Having either of us stay home full time may not be a realistic option. It’s important to me to be with someone who can and will contribute financially, if needed.

But I think what bothers me most about this question is that you’ve sort of given up on a career and blamed it on your hormones, which is completely absurd. I might consider supporting a stay at home dad, but not one with your attitude.

[samhradh_leannan]

Another consideration I’d be thinking about is that biologically, it makes more sense for the woman to take time off after having a baby. Childbirth itself requires a recover period, and then there’s breastfeeding. Pumping is a great option but I don’t want to start with that immediately. So if I have kids, I’ll want to take some maternity leave. It might be tough to pull that off if I don’t have a partner working for at least some of that time.

[SarahsSummer]

So true.

[fauchelevent]

I'm cool with marrying a stay at home husband. My boyfriend and I have discussed it and if we're fortunate to be in a situation where we only need one income to survive, then he'd want to stay home. He's better at cooking than me, gets some fulfilment out of cleaning that I don't, and he'd be better at taking care of kids all day than me, I think. I'm a rubbish cook, hate cleaning, and would probably go a bit crazy if I was cooped up for the whole day with kids. In our situation, it works out best if he stayed home so if we could comfortably live with just me working, we would. You seem to be verging more on the general submissive side to house husband though, which seems a little over the top.

[seregunda]

No, but I am an ambitious person. I would have nothing in common with someone content to sit at home with no desire to progress.

For others it may work, and I have nothing against a stay at home dad as an idea for other people. But I'm not the biggest fan of a stay at home anything unless it's literally because I wouldn't be able to afford childcare otherwise. I need the mental stimulation that work would bring. No matter how much you love your children, and they ARE very difficult work, it doesn't exactly keep those neurons firing.

[BrittBratt2416]

Mhmm well I'm not against stay at home moms, so I'm definitely not against stay at home dads either. It just depends on what what works, If one is capable of bringing the money in while the other watches the kids then it's fine. But if you don't have any kids at the moment, and you're partner can't do it all alone, then it's best that both do work so bills won't get pilled up and cause tension within the relationship. With the way things are now, both parents do have to work and have someone else watch their kid cause bills are constantly going up.

[SarahsSummer]

“males generally lack concentration and go easily astray because of testosterone, lust, etc”
I’m curious if all these things are true of you, how do you expect to be able to handle a house, cooking, cleaning and raising kids?

[samhradh_leannan]

Excellent point

[NicoletteKomotov]

I’d feminize him fully and “she” could take care of all things domestic for us and live the life of a sixties woman, being there to serve her spouse and her spouses friends in her best way possible always being the impeccable housewife and sex kitten for us all. Just like these “girls”

[snowshy]

Not for me.

I expect my partner to work full time just like I do. It's different if they want to stay at home and work from there but I will not have a stay at home partner whether they're male or female who just cooks and cleans. I don't need a maid, I can do those things myself

[vzogo]

Nope! You deciding to be a stay -at-home boyfriend/husband means that I'd have to take on the role of the male. As a Woman, I like feeling that I'm dating a Man and not a woman. Some women lose respect for the guy when she becomes the breadwinner of the family instead of the Man. Now that's just my own opinion and preference, but there might be a woman out there who like it.

[Anonymous]

I would like both of us to have a job and a degree and be somewhat successful and have some ambition , but if the guy decides to stay at home as long as he ain't lazy and does the things u said you'd do then I wouldn't mind , at least for forever though but just for a while.