Why is my 'one night stand' still texting me?

[Anonymous]

I went to high school with this guy. He always made attempts to hang out with me since highschool. I usually would blow him off because I was not interested. One time he worked at a store I went to and asked me to come to one of his baseball games lol again, blew it off thinking he just wanted to get in my pants. He then would write me messages multiple times via social media to hang out. I was just too focused on work and school and was not interested in hooking up. This time last year i agreed to finally hang out with him. We had quite a bit to drink and then we hooked up. The sex wasn't what i hoped for because he didn't last long lol but it's not a big deal to me. 6 mos had went by & we never said a word to each other. Until one day he randomly liked a pic i posted. I didn't think nothing of it until after a couple months, a message was to follow to hang out again! This was back in November! His messages have went from "wanna hang out" to "i wanna see you" or "when can I see you". He told me he misses me and been thinking about me in a "certain" way. He texted me a few weeks ago saying he wanted to see me. I told him lets meet up then he said he wanted to "fu** me so bad it was unreal". The thing that gets me is he usually don't respond to my messages if I tell him I can't hang that night or won't even open to read them. Our last convo I told him I was unable to leave and right after that he posted a status that said he was sick of everyone's mind games and they needed to make up their minds. Then posted another status about how he was beyond ready to settle down with someone. I thought it was ironic especially because he had just previously tried to make an attempt to hang with me mins before. I can't decipher if he is getting frustrated at multiple failed attempts to hang or he wants to hit it and quit it. Anyway I figured he was just a lay & got what he wanted so why is he still messaging me from time to time to hang? I thought it was just a one time thing?

[Anonymous]

One night stands in my view are like deliberate mistakes. I personally have only had them when traveling or something... I don’t see the logic in sleeping with someone with the expectation you will never want to do it again. That’s like smelling bad food and then tasting it and saying, I’ll never do that again! If a girl doesn’t want to sleep with me again, the train went off the tracks somewhere

[Asker]

That's cool lol. What do you think about my situation tho?

[Opinion Owner]

I think one reoccurring mistake you are making is to make assumptions, based on indirect activity on his social media account, that may or may not relate to you. It’s just way too speculative and too assumptive, you really do you to talk to people to get answers. Ultimately you want to know how he feels and what he is thinking, status changes aren’t going to provide you with any meaningful or reliable information you want.
I think what you want to know, is if he wants you in a more meaningful dynamic way than simply sex. You are trying to guess if him wanting to fuck you, possibly means he has deeper feelings, or does the fact he is talking specifically about sex mean, the opposite? You should ask him to study at a cafe and go for a walk & lunch or bike ride or something, if you want it sexier, sunbathing and swimming. But get to know him and leave him with the impression you are just weighing you options, that being a convenient lay, is rather silly notion for him to have of you

[Opinion Owner]

All about confidence

[Opinion Owner]

19-30 years old is a weird time, because it’s the decade full of games. People aren’t confident yet in themselves to be honest with how they feel and to take risks and communicate it with whom they feel for. So this cat and mouse game develops; based on guessing and assumptions rather than communication and answers. When you get to 30, you won’t care about a guy hurting your feelings, because you will value your own time, not wanting to waste it on people or play games anymore, and you don’t take things personal anymore, you just see someone who isn’t into you, as much as you hoped, as being the losing party in the deal... and you move on.

[Opinion Owner]

And simply having that attitude, makes 100 times the guys paying attention to you, as it’s sexy attitude to have

[DifferentSort]

I'm not a professional, but it sounds to me like he has created and idealize relationship with you and he's angry that you are not conforming to it. If you really have no interest in him it might be best to either tell him that completely honestly or just cut contact.

[Asker]

, I do have interest in him. a lot. There's literally no communication. I don't know how he's feeling or what he wants. I feel as if we're playing that cat and mouse game. It scares me to death to tell him how I feel. I don't know how to start it off.

[Mickey9999]

More than likely he wants seconds. So if you’re into it go for it, may make for a good friends with benefits

[Asker]

I'm wondering if he wants a relationship. I really do like him I just have been single for so long. I'm too scared to ask

[Mickey9999]

Whoa!!! Truth comes to light. You need to figure out if you LIKE him or if you’ve just been single TOO long! You said it girlfriend. Don’t get the two confused because your lonely. And why not ask “do you just want to f**k?” It’s casual and you’ve already been there and done that. Tread lightly even if he says no because he’s already gotten it casually and that may be all he wants. He could be lonely and confusing the two also! Just be careful and do some soul searching.

[Asker]

I don't feel lonely.. i think. I mean I go on dates and stuff all the time. He's literally the only guy I like. I mean it scares me because I have feelings for him. I've never had my heart broken so I don't know.

[Mickey9999]

Well you’re the one that said you’ve been single for so long. So be careful that one you’re not lowering your standards because of being single so long. It’s not fair to you OR him. Two it was a one night stand for a reason for one or both of you so think on that. I’m not doubting your feelings entirely but you’re statement did send a red flag up. You can go on dates every day and still be lonely because you’re not getting that connection/that spark! I’ve been there believe me. Just do some thinking. Meet up with him. But don’t jump in the sack with him right away if you like him. If he pushes you to, it’s probably just a hookup for him. If he’s sincere, he will want to see you again and again without the sex. But if he gets frustrated with no sex, he’s in it for seconds.

[howlyz]

I agree with this lady

[wankiam]

he obviously doesn't understand the rules of one night stands

[Asker]

Is he looking for something more?

[wankiam]

possibly... if nothing more is on offer you need to make it clear again that it was a one off

[Anonymous]

He sounds lonely, desperate, and he just wants to fuck.

[howlyz]

he's a crazy animal on the loose

[Alex_andrine]

He wants that bomb pussy you gave him.

[rahul_24]

I think he is just looking for another sex. Perhaps friends with benefits?

[Andge]

Well, you blew him off, and now doing same, "do unto others (accept him), what you want done (accepted too)" lol

[nerdyguy123]

He is just looking for sex

[que746]

He upped his game and wants to show you. Lol

[howlyz]

MHO in my opinion lol lol

[Ezra5808]

Drop him, it won't end well I can promise you.

[Asker]

You think so?

[Ezra5808]

Know so, he wants to keep hitting it inconsequentially and it'll just waste your time. Best course of action is to just drop him completely. Or make it clear things need to change if he wants to just be friends.

[Asker]

I feel like it may lead to a friends with benefits situation. Which I'm fine with. I know for a fact he wants a relationship just by the things he posts. Maybe it could lead to a relationship I don't know

[Ezra5808]

Maybe but it's up to him to do something about it. Hang tough.

[Anon-ymous1]

Because he wants you again. Isn't that obvious?

[samysyed]

May be he like that's a lot

[Asker]

Do what?

[samysyed]

That night with you

[Anonymous]

He wants to fuck you again. Leave him!

[Asker]

Leave him?

[Opinion Owner]

He just wants sex and as per your description I don't think he is good at fucking so why waste time?

[dragon9669]

He's desperate