How can I stop going backwards in my relationship and move forward?

[Drener]

My biogical dad and mom fought , cheat, lied, argued
My stepdad and my mom they fought , cheat, lied, argued
My boyfriend and I have been in our relationship.. since August 2017
My boyfriend is doing everything he can to keep this relationship

How do I not go backwards I don't know what to do..
Please help
I don't want my relationship to end I love him so much

[Clo917]

You're not your parents; I know it's hard, but you need to not focus on how they behaved and take responsibility for your own happiness. If you think couples therapy or regular one-on-one therapy would help you get past this, by all means, do those.

In what ways do you feel you're moving backwards? Is it that you don't trust your boyfriend? Or are afraid to commit? Feel like you're not connecting/have a deep bond? Constant arguing? Or?

[Drener]

I extremely do trust him
I extremely do love him
I extremely do want to be committed
We do have a connection / bond

Well I am trying to get rid of my past.. And my past keeps getting in the way of our relationship.. And we argue a lot. And I try not to..

I need advice on what to do. .
Instead of moving backwards I need to move forward.
Do u have any advice ?

[Clo917]

If you're both fully committed to staying in this relationship, I'd highly suggest working on your communication skills. Don't immediately jump into arguing when there's a problem, take a moment to reflect and then talk about whatever's bothering you in a calm manner. If you start to accuse instantly, that'll just make your S/O defensive and create a bigger rift between you two.

Secondly, our parents shape us, and we learn how to argue by watching them. If your parents didn't have a great relationship, it's hard to learn how to healthily argue. Ask yourself where is the anger coming from the next time you argue. Think, are you geniunely that mad at your S/O, or are you just acting how you think your parents would've acted in the situation? It's okay to stop an argument and think it over, and apologize afterwards if you realize it wasn't true anger.

Moral of my advice, talk things out with him and connect on a deeper level, and stop letting your past hinder your future.

[Drener]

Thank u so much

[Drener]

And if u have any other advice on relationships ( you can look at my profile I have a few questions on relationships ) please let me know

[Clo917]

Sure. I don't know if I have any advice, but I'll check your other questions out.

[ChronicThinker]

Don't connect your relationship with your parents with your own. You aren't your mom, your boyfriend isn't the guys who cheated on your mom. They're irrelevant and not related, so don't compare them.

[nofunkgiven]

Realize that you're not your mom, and he's not them. You are not in their relationship, you got one of your own, that shouldn't be compared to other relationships.

[Drener]

Can u please give me advice on what to do? ..
Instead of going backwards I need to go forwards

[Penelope_]

Keep looking forwards, you’re not your parents don’t let what they did have an impact on your relationship

[heyyyyy69]

Well the first thing is realizing everything comes to an end sometimes doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Sometimes they end for the better. loss is normal. You can't force anyone into a relationship you can't force anyone to be how you want or to do what you want. You can only talk to them about how you feel and hope they care enough to cater to your feelings

[LegateLanius]

Their relationships are irrelevant. Just focus on your relationship and you'll be okay.

[samoht89]

Sounds like your mother was the common theme in all that