She won't accept my apology

[krazEkid]

so I was with my ex for 1 year and we were engaged to get married. she ended up leaving me for someone else, than I gave her 2 more chances after that, which she screwed up by doing untrustworthy things. she came back to me a 4th time and I about had it, I told her that I won't take her back again because she screwed up the other times. I told her I was interested in another girl, and that I was also going to a rave in LA in June. I'm not the partyer type but I want to enjoy my young life again. she exploded because I wouldn't take her back and that I was talking to this other girl and wanting to go to EDC in LA. she has called me an ass and d*** many times, and I have yet to call her any names. I got really upset and ended up treating her like sh*t after this, she than tried blaming everything on me. well I hate treating people like sh*t, so after 2 weeks I sent her an email telling her I'm sorry for the way I treated her, and I didn't mean to hurt her in any way. she would not accept my apology or talk to me. than she sent me an email this morning asking why I hurt her, I told her I'm sorry and that I really tried to not hurt her, she than said goobye and won't respond to me.

what is going on? I don't know if I should just say whatever and let it go, or if I should try and get her to talk to me about these issues? I know I shouldn't have contacted her in the first place, but I just hate treating people like sh*t and not saying sorry.

[MCarter584]

For starters, don't be so hard on yourself. We have all made mistakes, and we have all treated someone unfairly. We did the best could do on that day and at that moment. In this situation, I think you need to remember that you are not responsible for your ex-partner's happiness. If you treated her unfairly and you have have asked for her forgiveness, you have done all that you can do. She has to make a choice to accept your forgiveness, but is she chooses to remain quiet, I would allow her that freedom. Again, remember, you are not responsible for her happiness. Because I do not know both sides of the story, and I am offering solicited feedback, I am going to highlight two points which might be helpful:

1. If my friend asks me to go shopping with her, and I cannot go because I have plans with another friend, I can choose to feel sorry for my friend and shame for not dropping my plans, or I can move on with my day knowing that I have made the right decision to follow through with the plans that I made with another friend. I know that my declining her invitation was not personal. If she chooses to take my declining her invitation as personal, I cannot and am not obligated to solve that problem. My value comes from within, not from the acceptance of others because I am always pleasing them. So, again, your happiness should not be dependent on her, and her happiness should not be dependent on you.

2. A mistake requires an apology; a choice requires one to ask for forgiveness. If you chose to speak offensively to your ex, even in a moment of weakness, you should make sure that you have asked for her forgivess. When asking for her forgiveness, you should make sure that you know how you have offended her and explain that to her. You should make no excuses or use the word but. If you know you have offended her, there is no excuse because you made a choice.

I hope this helps you. Good luck, and, remember, we all mistakes, but making mistakes doesn't make us a mistake.

[krazEkid]

wow! well written! thank you so much

[Anonymous]

forget her. she treats YOU bad and she expects YOU to take her back all the time, but you get fed up and treat HER the way she deserves to be treated, and its wrong? WTF? is that girl on crack? I will never understand why men always want the bitchy women.

[9mfeo]

You've apologized already. If she doesn't want any further contact with you, then you should stop contacting her, even if it's to apologize. Drop it and let it go. It's all over now. There's nothing productive about beating a dead horse.

[Anonymous]

She out you through hell, so has she even apologized to YOU for all that? If anything, you deserve a nice apology from her. However, it's very noble of you that you want to end things as nicely as possible, so you're being the bigger person here. You've apologized for your mistake, that's all that matters; if she doesn't want to respond, that's her problem. Are you happy with you new girl and feel like there's potential with her? If yes, then that's all that matters now. Have some people with a person who cares about for once. You're a good guy, and you deserve to have some good times after all that your ex has put you through, and not worry about what she thinks.

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry, I meant to say "have some fun with a person who cares about you for once".

[Anonymous]

You're a doormat.

She left you for someone else, you tried to move on, and now you're apologising for it?

Did she take your balls with her when she left?

Man up for pitys sake. Tell that cow she dumped you, you're GLAD she did, and you'll talk to whatever girl you feel like, and you hope it burns her guts up.

And try not be to so pathetic in the future...

[sictransit]

You treated her like sh*t because she pushed you to the breaking point. There is only so much a person can take. SHE treats YOU like sh*t and SHE should be the one apologizing. There are 3 billion women in the world, let her go man.

[Harry12345]

She's angry
But she doesn't want to listen me.
How can she be normal with me?
Any suggestions from girls?