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Do guys have patience for a damaged girl or are they too much work? (Page 3)
Anonymous
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What Guys Said
A few of my exes came with a lot of baggage but we all carry a past with us. As long as she agrees to try and put in effort, patience is easy to grant
Sounds like you are going out on dates with guys who just want casual sex. Why not find guys looking for a long term relationship?
The thing is, they say they want long term, but in the end it gets out of control and they think I am buttered up enough to just go home with them. Even when I pass uo the idea and say I'll talk to you later it never happens. I think them asking is one way to see if I would require a longer wait. And b that's a deal breaker for them.
Gotcha. So in reality you are picking liars. And after one date they believe you have changed your mind and are ready for sex. That’s bad luck, anything you think you can improve to find real men and not fuck boys?
Honestly, I have up on saying sites because of it. Never really had luck with in person encounters as well. So it's exhausting to even try anymore. Now when I go on dates I have doubts when going. Some say I should just wait, but I'm getting up there in age. Plus tired of being the third wheel when hanging with my friends and their significant other. Then they get mad that I don't leave my house to hang out. It's really stressful over something pretty dumb in my book.
The age pressures begin much sooner for women than for men so I understand that part. Agree that finding many things online these days are rare. Guess there is no silver bullet and you keep trying. I empathize with the third wheel feeling and that sux. Having someone to hold and share with is preferable
Looking back at all my autocorrects and I had to face-palm myself. Lol
But yes it's tough. My parents are the main culprit as well. Always asking when will I find someone. It's a bad feeling.
Oh I went though that as well. Not only did they put pressure on me but they thought it was funny to joke in front of other people. I put the stop to that when I let them know I had lots of opportunity to make them grandparents but decided I would not have a child till marriage. Asked them if they wanted me to knock someone up.. ha ha they quickly backtracked and said they want me to be married first
Every relationship comes with a history. We either learn to deal with it cause our present won't change the past. If there is a reason (and love and care are strong reasons), then we'll learn to deal with whatever situation our girl may have
I had an ex with depression and anxiety issues. I was a VERY patient boyfriend to her. Even when she pushed me away, I was still there. Unfortunately, she took me for granted. I promise you, she'll never find another man like me.
My girlfriend has a lot of trauma from her past and I'm here for her. I'm all for helping her because I love her so much and I can't stand leaving her in pain like that. I want to do everything I can to help her.
So it's heavily dependent on how bad it is and hard a person is trying to deal with there situation as I'm not prepared to be somones long term emotional punching bag
You shouldn't have to be. If someone is constantly arguing or accusing you of possibly cheating, or checking out other girls that is unhealthy and they definitely need to work on themselves. But if one just wants comfort and reassurance then that's another story.
How much reassurance are we talking though ad it can get to a point when it gets a bit silly and from what I have seen it does lead to insecurities popping up
It depends on the person. Reassurance as in I guess knowing she's there and you hear her opinions. Though, yes that can be annoying at times because most of the time they are faithful. I guess some just want that to be clarified. It's understandable if that gets old after a while though.
I would have no problom with it but over time when it's the exact same thing over and over and I as a person can see why the situation is going how it is but the person just keeps doing the same thing yeah it gets old
Usually in those cases, I feel either fine away from each other or just breaking out of would be more appropriate. That way, hopefully, she would know that it's her that needs to change her ways and fix herself. Doesn't have to be perfect, but enough to keep a good relationship.
No I agree with you and it's good u see it that way
Constant need for validation of the same things and started to entertain her insecurities and caused a issue
How do you define 'damaged'? What if we talk, and I think you are over-reacting, and maybe we connect, in some way?
I think a lot is perspective and connecting, with understanding!
i been with a few people classed as damaged goods. the problem is they are so damaged they look to you as their emotional crutch. YOU are the source ALL of their happiness.
NO. THANK. YOU.
check your baggage at the door.
As long as I don't have to see or deal with her baggage in any shape or form, then I got all the patience in the world. But that patience declines proportionately with the quantity and magnitude of her baggage.
I have a history of helping girlfriends deal with their history until they are happy and whole enough to realise that they no longer need me.
Everyone had bad relationship before and if she insists to play the disappointed drama queen, there is no place for me in this show