Why do some people get more mad at the person their partner cheated on them with, instead of being more mad at their partner?

[Flower7]

I just saw a video online where a woman caught her guy in bed with another woman. She started hitting the strange woman with a frying pan, but didn't try to hurt her boyfriend at all. I didn't understand why she made that choice.

(I'm not the violent type so wouldn't do either of these, but if I had to make a choice, I would rather hit him than her.)

[Obtuse]

I suspect the ultimate lack of trust and accountability, at its extremities, manifests to blaming the temptations more than the one who indulged in them. It's like people blaming the junk food industry for obesity.

[Flower7]

Or like the people who blame medicine manufacturers for their opioid addictions.

[Obtuse]

Or pornography for promiscuity. These are all temptations, I'm sure, but we do not do well to promote accountability, and values (as in resisting temptations at the end of the day, not having none of them), if our common discourse begins to blame the temptations.

[Obtuse]

I've come across this common sentiment that a man is only as faithful as his options. That's missing something here in my opinion. I'd change it to a "man is only as faithful as the strength of his values allows him to resist his options".

[Flower7]

Right, that way of thinking is very foolish.

[Flower7]

That's the way it should be, that the character of the man matters more than who is around him.

[Obtuse]

It's becoming unfortunately prevalent in my opinion. Not just with respect to infidelity. There's a cultural attack on accountability in my opinion which wears and tears at the very fabric of what keeps people from acknowledging and learning from their mistakes. We are in challenging times for sure. Temptations abound. All the more reason to shift the emphasis on values in my opinion, but we aren't doing that. We're yielding the whole value thing to temptations in my opinion, and shifting the blame to temptations.

[COMMODOREII]

I agree with you. They make an excuse that it was the person who came to their partner to break their relationship. But what about the partner who did nothing to stop or avoid it. They are surely not exempt.

[COMMODOREII]

Cool I am not wrong. 😋

[baconninjadc]

Well because some women know that if they bend over or spread their legs they can get a man to stick their penis in their vagina and it doesn't take very much effort. so they blame the woman when the man could have avoided the circumstance in the first place or just walk away. There are desperate women out there who have nobody. Imagine not having any bread you would take somebody else's bread if you were hungry enough. So yeah this is a problem for the man and not the other woman I think. Another thing I think is that a man's woman needs to take care of him and make sure that he is sexually satisfied and vice versa. You must work to satisfy your partner and not take them for granted.

[Flower7]

Sometimes people cheat without letting their partner know they have issues with the relationship and with sex.

[baconninjadc]

That's true people don't like confrontation. Sometimes people just cheat because it's fun to misbehave. It does take effort to work with your partner to make sure that your needs are being satisfied

[winterfox10]

You're thinking about it logically. When people get cheated on, they have a hard time reconciling the fact that their partner, the person they trusted, is violating that trust. That violation then forces someone to ask about their own role in that choice, and it's easier to blame the other man/woman then it is to confront your own issues.

[Flower7]

It seems like that boosts the cheater's ego, when they have two people fighting over them.

[winterfox10]

A lot of people cheat to feel desirable. It wouldn't surprise me if the chaos of watching their partner fight off the other person was an ego boost.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes , i think we hear these stories all the time , i believe some people
have feelings for their partner so much , they would rather do anything
for them and that includes harming the person who they cheated with
but i believe the best choice is not resource to harm on one but go as
things flow?

[theCobbler]

Well maybe the frying pan woman and the other knew each other? I'll bet the man, got his beating later lol

[Flower7]

That's a good point. Maybe she thought she had plenty of time to get to him later.

And yes, she was saying the other woman was someone she knew.

[theCobbler]

Ahhhhhh ha, lol have a great day!

[omgrey]

I can't understand that kinda people too

[MuhammmadalMahdi]

Will you hurt the guy you truly love? Right, that's your answer, babe.

[Flower7]

Yes, if I was the type to hurt people, I would be much more angry at the guy than at the woman he cheated with. He would be the one I was in a relationship with, not her.