Do you admire single women in their late 20’s-early 30’s?

[Anonymous]

I am 28 and never had a boyfriend. I am trying to not be sorry for myself as I see all my friends one after the other get praise and attention for engagements and pregnancies.
Can you help me set some intentions for becoming a strong, confident woman?
i have been crying and weak about this. I want to make the most of being single. I don’t want to need anyone out of loneliness!

[btbc92]

In my personal experience and how my life turned out. All you can do is just give it to God. All you can do is not worry about it so much. All you can do is get your life where it needs to be, and just focus on building yourself up as a person. Don't worry about these other people especially with these guys I want to try to tell you what you should and shouldn't do. A lot of them don't even realize that how they choose the reaction, behave, and do things in life is why you choose to be single. It's better to be by yourself and die alone than to be with people and die with regrets. I'm the same age and never had a boyfriend either. At that point why have a boyfriend when you should be having a spouse. But now people don't want to be that, but then they want to hop in your pants. Makes no sense. Don't worry about other people as I said before. In Truth is really not your fault. Just millions of poor suitors that's for sure.

You just move on with life as it stops for no one. And whatever you do, don't envy your friends and people around you. You don't have their problems and you don't know what they have to sacrifice just to even get what they have. They will have their ups and downs and you may not fully understand what's going on truly and their relationships. Because if you try to mimic what they have you may come to find out that you were better off not involved at all. As the word of God says, being single is hard, but being married is harder. So look at it this way. You kind of have it a little easier than they do. Is just as we get older it doesn't get much easier for anybody. And a way how this world is, it's just miserable to be living in to begin with. But regardless of how crazy it gets, we still have our obligations, we still have a job to do, our work is never done, and we got to be there for those that needs us. Just continue to pray to God and let him guide really do. Don't worry about anything else. Just stay with the Lord and He will take care of everything else. Don't just know it, believe it. And I pray you receive it.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Snap out of it anon!
Sorry to sound harsh, but if you want to become a strong, independent, single woman, you have to stop the pity party. Being single isn't the end of the world... no really, it's not.

Take it from a woman that's been single throughout my late 20s and early 30s now: about 12 years total.
I've watched all my friends get engaged, married, have kids, settle down... some get divorced (lol). I was the one everyone pitied or thought something was wrong with me because I was still "unattached" by my mid 20s! Yeah, apparently if you don't find a man by your mid to late 20s, something is wrong with you- nonsense.

Yeah I was depressed and lonely, and seeing others supposedly happy did not help matters. So I did something to get over it. I found ways to distract myself. I figured if I was going to be single, I was going to make the most of it! I started improving my body (hit the gym), worked harder so I could make money to treat myself to luxuries I wanted. I treat myself when I want to, rather than waiting for someone else to buy me stuff.

Basically I became independent and stopped worrying about what others thought about me. And over time guess what? People stopped caring. And I stopped worrying about trying to find a relationship!

I know being single sucks; no one likes to be alone. But it's not terrible either. You need to find ways to make yourself happy, and use that to distract yourself from negative thoughts. And guess what? One day when you stop stressing over finding someone, you probably will find the right guy. Until then, enjoy your freedom~

And don't you DARE date someone, or settle for the first guy that shows you a little attention just for the sake of being in a relationship or avoiding being alone! You're better than that.

[WalkingCorpse]

Not going to lie this is something im currently facing almost 22 and still single never dated and i am dealing with shitty feelings sinking about something wrong with me but unfortunately their is something wrong with me because i dont know how to talk to girls or establish relationships

[Cynicaldreamer]

@WalkingCorpse You're still young and have plenty of time to date! Same concept applies to you guys as well. I know it sucks watching and hearing your buddies talk about your love and sex lives, and being alone, but you shouldn't stress over it!

And no, nothing is wrong with you Corpse... can I call you that? LOL. Nah, you're fine. You just haven't found a woman that appreciates you yet. You just need a boost of confidence and learn to talk to women. Trust me, as an introvert, I sucked at talking to guys too- I still do to an extent. I finally got out of my shell by learning to talk and get out more: baby steps though. You don't have to go out to clubs or do things out of your comfort zone: go to places or do things you enjoy. Make it a goal to talk to at least ONE new person, even if it's just saying hi. That might lead to a conversation, or you discussing things you have in common with each other. That will make you more comfortable chatting and talking with others.

As for women? Same concept- see a girl you like? Smile at her, compliment something about her, or discuss something of mutual interest (school, work, hobbies, etc). Ideally that will lead to a conversation, which if you are lucky, will lead to you asking to hang out or going on a date with her. But again, don't stress over it or rush into things. If you want to start with just talking to her, do that! The important thing is you feel comfortable and confident with yourself first.

As I told someone else on another thread: women can sense how confident a guy is, and if you come off as seeming desperate, needy, or self conscious, we're not as likely to want to date or be with you.

[Emerald5]

I am in your same shoes. I see all my classmates with families and children already, yet I am still single and have not experienced a relationship before. Do not let the jealousy of others eat at you. Each person is meant to have a different life path. You don't have to follow what you envy of others to make you happy. There are many other ways to live life which you can still enjoy.
Do not forget, once you have paired up, there are responsibilities to maintain and keep to. You don't have to rush into a relationship and eventually discover that it was the wrong choice. As you patiently and carefully search for the correct lifetime partner, make use of that time to do other things which you enjoy in life before responsibilities hold you down.
Your strong confidence will help to tell when you have actually chosen the correct partner and that will help to give you a long happy relationship. I wish you a successful and fruitful path ahead.

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

Of course and I know I’m not the only one. I’m not going to blow steam up your behind to inflate an ego , just the truth from my perspective.

The main thing to take into account of dating is area, I believe it’s an underrated element on people’s minds. Meeting a single men/ women in the late 20s/ early 30s outside of a metropolitan city or decent size town is definitely a challenge. Most people in these areas are usually trying to settle down faster.

So understand that people still are dating and searching for someone like you. It may be more of a challenge but don’t think you can’t believe that it’s not possible for you. Be yourself and always be willing to look at yourself from a third person view. Highlight your strengths and work on your weaknesses. Good luck !

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I'm nearly 25 and have been single by choice for 4 1/2 years. If you ask me, relationships are overrated. I love the freedom I have, the fact that I don't have to compromise and can pretty much do what I want, when I want and don't have to worry about sharing money, possessions, or a living space, and I don't have to worry about making another person happy. I pretty much do what I want.

I'm a rather independent person by nature so being happy while alone comes naturally for me (and I'm happier alone than I ever was in a relationship), but I think the best thing you can do is to love yourself, find things that you enjoy and people you like being around, and make the most out of your life regardless of your relationship status.

Building confidence has been a hard journey for me, but I can say that what helps the most is to do things that make you feel good about yourself. They can be anything, no matter how small, as they will add up over time. Work towards goals, do things to improve your life, etc.

If a relationship is something you would like to seek, however, it is not off the table. Just put yourself out there and keep looking.

[jennifer_bloom]

No guy wants to make a girl happy unless she is first capable of making herself happy. This is why girls who don’t care are super attractive while girls who beg cannot get a single date.

[Porcelaine]

Im 28, single and loving it. Those friends of yours, I doubt any of them are married to their first boyfriend. So at least you can be happy that you've avoided all the heartbreaks and humiliation. You know what will never get you a boyfriend? Desperation. Crying out of loneliness is not sexy to any man. The best advice I can give you is enjoy your life, there must be plenty of things you want to do that dont involve having a boyfriend. What you have is more free time, freedom to do anything, no commitment, no stress or drama, peaceful life. Make the best of what youve got. Fill your time with things you are passionate about, that make you happy. Hobbies, learn something, work on yourself, improve yourself. When you become happy while single and truly love yourself and enjoy yourself, only then that love and happyness will attract a good man who wants to be part of it. Become that kind of woman you would date if you were a man, and they will see it that way too. I know plenty of women who got married in their 30s, not everyone is supposed to do that at the same time. Im sure you've got career aspirations, perhaps travel. There are so many things you can't do anymore after having children and getting married, but you are free to do them now so go and enjoy our life. Make some memories. You are young, and when you're old you dont want to remember wasting your days crying instead of living every day to the fullest.

[ryoru]

Turning 29 this year. I was single up till Dec 2019.

The best advice I can give you was what my grandparentsparents told me.

Instead of finding someone to invest in, invest in yourself.

I spent 10 years investing in myself. I worked, travelled, got my degree, changed jobs. I spent time socializing with knowledgeable seniors (in their 40s-60s) from different fields ranging from technology, law, business and medicine.

Most of the well -off ones are the most down-to-earth people I know who do not flaunt their wealth or buy brand names. From them, I learnt quality over quantity. When most of my peers are busy buying and getting in debt from branded bags and clothes, I bought good quality, reasonably priced leather bags that will see years of use.

When you are happy with your life and yourself, you will attract similar- minded people.

[Unit1]

Very smart! I see intersections here! I see it the same way.

[DianaWest]

lol. good advice, but did you just call people in their 40s seniors? lol.

[ryoru]

@DianaWest Well, generally 5 years above and below my age falls under the category of peers. Anyone who's more than 5 years younger, they are my juniors. More than 5 years older are seniors.

[gaygod_19]

Well, I usually tell myself I would rather be alone for the rest of my life rather than settling for the wrong people who would just hold me back or make me feel a thousand times more miserable for existing. I tend to not date people who hold the opposite political views as me (that dictate we have different perceptions of morality). I'm perfectly fine with being single, and I usually have casual dates or friends with benefits (if u don't like it then don't do casual dating or friends with benefits, just buy a bunch of toys for yourself if you're in favor of it)

[yucychan]

Some opinions are spot-on. You have to stop the pity party, it's just a downward spiral leading to nothing.
Do you have any hobbies, stuff that you want to do? Just do it.
For me, it's always been travelling overseas and meeting new people, admiring the scenery. Just that for now, I have to wait a while due to the covid situation.
Do you like music, then go learn an instrument of your interest. Maybe you like to learn a new language or a new programming skill. Maybe your interest is in sports, then go rock-climbing or scuba diving, horse-back riding or something.
Just don't waste your time crying at home, envying your friends.
Do you know that your friends envy you instead? Because you have something that they don't have, the freedom to do whatever you want.

[Asker]

I agree! Over the years I became a yogi, marathoner, scuba diver, and traveler, I learned how to cook too. Since covid I had to choose something indoors so I read a book a week. Pity parties still happen though :(

[HayleyMarie]

I think as long as you’re happy, don’t compare yourself to others who are in relationships. Everyone is on a different path, there’s no timeline as to when you’ll find someone.
I’m somewhat in the same boat. I’m 28, only been in one relationship. Two close friends my age are getting married.
You’ll find someone one day, but for now enjoy the freedom. If you’re happy and confident in being single, then a partner will only add to that. Also, if you go through a break up it will be a little easier because you’ve been used to being by yourself for a long time.

[Levin]

I don't see what relevance my admiration or otherwise of this is?

It's your life. You've teased at some details. If something is not going how you want it to, sometimes that is okay for your own growth and development. But life shouldn't be needlessly punishing and lonely. Maybe there is something you can change holding you back?

Why haven't you had a boyfriend at 28? Being confident and strong is good. But we're all human. Sometimes we can't be. It's not so bad to have others in our life to help us.

[Freddy78361]

What do you want? The perfect white collar husband, the white picket fence, and the 2.4 kids?
Are you sad for the past you didn't have the one you are afraid you won't?

The "Red pill" men's guide/attitude says that you should live to be the best person you can be. By doing that you become the magnet that attracts men and not the iron filings chasing the magnet.

Focus on your health/fitness, activities you enjoy, and put yourself in situations where men will see you at your best (NOT AT WORK!).

[BeenThereLovedIt]

Being single isn't the answer to being a strong and confident woman. In fact, with the right partner, you can have the perfect rock to lean on when you have a moment of weakness. Just don't ever let them control you or your thoughts, and you will find it's sometimes worth it.

Other side of that coin is that marriage, engagements, and pregnancies are not things I think should be celebrated as much as mourned. They are all just ways in which you lose some of the freedom you obviously cherish.

Middle ground is that you can have a boyfriend, keep your freedom (see him less often, committed or not), and live your life the way you want. Every decision you make should be on your own terms, not society's or someone else's.

[Bellimo]

A good question to ask yourself is where you see yourself in the future. What would you want to have?
Knowing his will help pu decide now what to do to take steps towards that.

There is nothing wrong with being single if that if your wish. Despite what others say about it. If you know thisbis what ou want then you are set.
However, you are 28 and still at that stage in life where if you ever envisioned having a family then the time to find someone is now. Give or take 2-3 years to get engaged and then married and start having in early 30s.

It is different for men and women unfortunately. A man may have a higher chance at dating, marrying and having a family with a younger woman. Where an older female has a much harder chance, not to say it has never been done but the former is muhh much more common.

[DavidHart]

your comment is moving and makes me think.
Thank you for such a good comment.

[Bellimo]

@DavidHart you are welcome David.
Remember knowing what we want is admitting truth. Most people are fearful or lazy, or worse! Both!

If you want to have a family perhaps having too many standards or being too picky is cohnter productive. Good people exist, hey come in man forms.

[Paul09]

Must be more into yourself. Improve yourself, be the best version of yourself. Learn new things, join clubs, or classes. Pick up more hobbies, work out, be active. Sleep better, eat better. A lot of us forget to self love. Thinking about being single all the time eats away at you. And it's not worth it. I've been single since 18. I had to learn the hard way. M just thinking more of myself these days. I try to occupy myself with doing things. I do still feel lonely, especially with this covid b. s.. But we need to power through it. Positive mind, positive vibes, positive life. Good uck

[Anonymous]

Dont get engaged or pregnant because everyone else is. Honestly I think that's why most people do it and it's just not a good reason in my opinion. If being single is what makes you happy that's what matters most. there's strength in independence and I certainly look up to women who break the societal norm of settling down

[hectic69]

Ye of course., iv been single 9rs now I couldn't have a partner the same age as me.. I'm still very young at heart and although I'm a mature man I still party... Ride my motorbike Yamaha R1. by the way lol flat out wheel stands race at track days.. Play tricks on my m8s like I'm late 20s.. And feel like I'm young.. While these older gentlemen are sitting back with there slippers n pj's on asking there other half for a cuppa... Lol
I'm out on my bike at 2am especially on a warm night on the bike cruising or misbehaving on the bike...

[Anonymous]

No. I assume she’s had a lot of sex partners and that’s unattractive.

You might not want to need someone out of loneliness, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t lonely or that you’re going to be better off struggle through that loneliness. Human ms need other people, the perversion of today is that people try to convince you that you should be totally fine on your own as if it’s normal and healthy. It’s not. There’s a reason people want each other, what I really don’t admire is people who think ever needing other people is wrong, it’s gross.

[I-am-a-nobody]

You need to get involved such that even if you were single the rest of your life, it would be alright. My late 20's early 30's were golden. I was very involved with other people, working with kids, enjoying friends, doing puppet shows at nursing homes. It set me up for marriage and a family of my own.

[Kaneki05]

I admire most women. But all i can say is if you never ever had a boyfriend then you have no experience In learning what a health relationship or seen how it's like to be with someone and all the perks and minuses. which tbh isn't really convincing to someone that you wouldn't just make rookie mistakes I feel like most people have to experience something a lot to get a hang on it. So... i dunno what that would really mean.

[Sweetgirlasking]

A lot of girls I know are beautiful and haven't found a decent guy so they don't have a boyfriend because they refuse to settle for a loser or jerk who will mistreat them , use them or abuse them emotionally, mentally or physically. Be happy you don't have to relocate due to a stalker

[Adam1978]

Don't get it, neither of those values are something to admire. But neither is it something to look down on. It's just facts. To admire someone they need to accomplish more then most. So you need to stand out. Gender and age or relationship status is not enough for that.

[Reaperbot666]

have you tried looking for a spouse before? do you even want to?

nothing wrong with choosing to wait to find someone. instead of just jumping on the first person you can.

however also know that the longer you wait to find someone. the harder it will be later on once your ready.