How can you convince your boyfriend to stay with you in a long distance relationship?

[Anonymous]

Me boyfriend are finding it really hard but I love him so much I don't want to lose him I had the best night of my life last night and it got ruined Because my boyfriend says we should stop this relationship until you finish school and go from there see if we still love each other. :( school dosnt finish till november and I can't even handle a day without txting him:( the reason he says this is because he dosnt want to miss the feeling we had last night and get frustrated Because he can't have it again .:'( as soon as he said that I felt so sick , how can I fix this situation how can I keep us strong? Please help me it's hard enough missing him Because he's not around but not communicating will make it so much harder for me I love him dearly a part of me wants to marry him and I'm scared if we don't get back when I finish school and he will have found someone else.

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

First, I gotta ask - how long have you been with him?

Also, consider this to be a test of how much he really cares about you. If he really likes you right now, he is going to wait until you finish school in order to be with you again.

If he doesn't like you at all, then... I'm sorry to say this, but he never really liked you in the first place. And if you two have already had sex, then he was just around you for the sex, and this is his way of breaking up with you. Don't be scared though because this might not be the case.

Regardless of which case it is though, you will have to learn how to be by yourself. Trust me - this is going to be good for you. I think everyone should learn how to be by themselves.

Also, if he doesn't call you at least every now and then to know how you are, then I'm sorry but this guy is a d***head and you have to understand that you're better off without him. Perhaps what solidranger said is right - long distant relationships aren't relationships at all, but if a couple isn't capable of lasting a couple of months apart from each other, then it means one of them didn't love the other as much.

In other words - GET A HOBBY, WOMAN! Occupy yourself and find something you like to do that will distract you from him part of the time.

[Asker]

I've been with him since September last year

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

Hmm I'll also need to know if you have already had sex with him. Because this sort of thing matters. If you HAVE had sex with him, and especially if he has had sex with other girls before you, then he's gonna have a harder time staying away from you. As messed up as it sounds...

If neither of you has had sex with anyone yet, then I don't know what his deal is. Maybe he's not cut up to have a relationship yet. All I know is, if he REALLY loved you, he would be keeping in touch while away.

[Asker]

Yes he's had sex with girls before me and he was the first I have had sex with

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

Oh dear... well this is annoying. -__- I believe I am making an accurate guess when I say, that the main reason he is leaving you is because he doesn't want to stay without having sex for so long. After you go, if he's still with you, he won't be able to have sex. So he's breaking up with you because he wants to have sex with other people while you're gone. To him, sex is more important than the relationship you two have. I'm really sorry. :( I might be wrong though, but I've seen this a lot.

[Asker]

He said it's not all about the sex he just wants me around and I can't because my parents don't like him it's expensive for him to see me everyweek and he thinks when I finish school I get my license and my life is sorted out that things will get easier.I had a fight with him today I confronted him about how I feel and that I want to keep in contact and he said if we do that we will miss each other and get frustrated and fight like crazy like we do now. I think he's being genuine because he seemd hurt

[solidranger]

I gotta say I'm on his side here. Long distance relationships aren't relationships at all. You have all the obligations of a relationship with none of the benefits. It's nature for people to drift because frankly the distance prevents you from doing all the things that keep people together.