If your partner gained a lot of weight, is it an asshole move to point it out?

[MonmonTheGreat]

Yes it is.

No it isn't.

[Xoxocutekitty]

Weight gain is usually a sign of stress. I think it is perfectly okay to point out a weight gain, but I think it is callous to put an ultimatum on it. Putting a high stakes on someone who is already "not coping by gaining weight" is probably going to propel that person into the reduced self esteem spiral. Maybe she will lose weight, but she's probably going to develop unhealthy eating habits and body image to do so. This decrease in self esteem means she'll be a less supportive partner because she is doubting herself. I guess if you want to approach the subject.

You could say something like, " i've noticed you have gained a lot of weight since I've known you. I will be honest, and I am having some doubts. not about your personality, but about whether you are using food as a coping mechanism for a greater stress. If so, is there any way that I can help? What would you think about us embarking on a healthier/have a more active lifestyle?"

I know it is long, but you are much more likely to get a helpful response, than a tactless "are you going to keep gaining weight?"

[Mishan97]

It depends how you say it. Just be polite/tactful/sensitive about it. & let her know that you still think she’s beautiful either way regardless of her weight. Just say you want to get healthy and start exercising more together. Make it a couples thing you guys can do together and be encouraging and supportive!

[Reaperbot666]

• when people are secure in a relationship. they tend to gain a bit of weight over time. happens to both guys and girls to some degree.
• however weight gain can also be due to stress or medical issues.
• but people who are insecure about their relationship. they tend to be more likely to try to stay in perk form. in case their relationship fails apart they can have an easier time finding a new one.
• trick is to not gain more then half your starting weight. that you entered into the relationship as. because then your partner could find you less attractive over time.

[SirRexington]

I think it definitely can be if done in a shameful way. Especially if it's meant to hurt their feelings and not simply point out that they need to get back into their former habits that were clearly healthier.

But personally, I find no issue with this as I find big girls to be gorgeous. There is a limit as to how big though. Im attracted to girls that are chubby; not the size of Arkansas. You for instance (if this is you) look rather sexy in my opinion both ways.

[OlderAndWiser]

No, you should point it out because she probably hasn't noticed and will feel positive towards you for helping her to realize that she is not a fat slob and her clothes don't fit very well.

[TruthBringer]

Any person who can't stand their partner pointing out obvious and CONTROLLABLE flaws is a loser who isn't fit to be in a relationship, to begin with.

What happend to "honesty" in a relationship? What happened to "a partner helps pushing you to become a better you" within a relationship?
Last time I checked lots of relationships went south because one of the two got too comfortable and stopped doing what helped them attract the other person, to begin with. Yes, this includes weight.

My slim-fit girlfriend knows damn well if she starts gaining weight due to a poor lifestyle and bad eating habits, she can kiss my a** goodbye. Afterall, she wouldn't if I get fat due to bad eating habits and lose my aesthetic looks... and abs.

So anyone who thinks its not okay to point it out is a snowflake who can't stand constructive criticism

[D_Bone_Steak]

Holy shit! I'd say it's a asshole move to gain that much weight! On the other hand if she's just pregnant in that picture which it kind of looks like it, it's not really a big deal. She'll drop the weight anyways if she breast feeds the baby... although... From what I've seen if they go formula with the baby, they stay fat until the breakup. Then they get hot again to find a new guy...

[btbc92]

It depends on the intent and why it needs to be spoken about. If they day nothing about the weight, it often means tgey don't want to talk nor discuss the matter. Let them come to you, then talk.

[Anonymous]

Depends on how much, i like chubby guys personally but if it started affecting his mobility n shit i would hafta interfere. Im not chubby myself but if my boyfriend told me i was gaining weight n it was like a few pounds i would think he’s an asshole unless it was like a significant amount

[Emanon_18]

I agree

[Thatsamazing]

Not any more than it is for them to have gained it in the first place.
Related: Is "shape wear," like Spanx, for females false advertising, similar to push-up bras?

[pleasestopthis]

Depends on the reason. Some women gain a lot of weight after pregnancy and struggle to reach a normal weight again.
Then if she gained weight out of gluttony and laziness AND refuses to change that, then that's another story.

[JimboGB]

No, not only should you point it out. You should ensure they do something about it, give them targets and spankings if they failed to meet them.

The last thing anyone needs is a partner that doesn't care.

[WolfyGirl2077]

Can be like why u gained so much weight thats a bad thing to say

[Matthew2222]

Nope. My ex gained a lot of weight and was actually more attractive that way, so it worked out fine.

[Unit1]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/7zMT3SqgRfk

[AaronKrieger]

Only if you're saying it with the intent to offend.

[JosyJosy]

Maybe he's worried, you know, unhealthy choices and stuff

[Browneye57]

Guys are always an asshole no matter what.
Why you blimping-out toots? He's getting more than what he bargained for.

[Sparda20xx]

Depends on your method. If you say, hey you're fat. That's messed up. However if you're asking legitametly got health reasons that's ok

[OutdoorsForLife]

No because I would hold them accountable before they gained a lot of weight, just like I know she would hold me accountable

[Anonymous]

i almost threw up, stop being selfish and lazy and lose some weight

[SuccessfulHornDog]

I'm sure that they are aware as well. don't point it out , ask about it Maybe there is a problem

[FearlessGoat]

Dude if you purposely got fat, I’d throw salads at you

[cloud9vortex1234]

No, that picture is really obvious. I'm not going to stay with someone who lets themselves go.