Guys, Relationship? Would you have a problem if your girlfriend or wife wasn't a virgin?

Question

Lately it's like no one really cares about it anymore. I'm a virgin and I want it that way till I'm married but when I'm with my boyfriend I sometimes feel its kinda old school.

My boyfriend knows about my wanting to be a virgin till I'm married even though we eventually won't get married to each other and he might never get to touch me that way.

When I'm with him I know I want to be with him that way but I know what I'll feel afterwards (regret), I feel I have this crazy obsession with being a virgin till I'm married cuz that was something my mum told me all my life, being a virgin till I'm married.

I wanna know if its really not that big of a deal for your partner to not be a virgin.

bamesjond0069 · Accepted Answer

its a huge deal. You are highly desirable as a wife. The second you have sex a large amount of men will never marry you.

Now dont get confused. A ton of men on here will say its no big deal just have some fun but they are guys that are fat with pimple faces work at some min wage job and live with their mom. Forget those losers unless that sounds like your ideal husband. 🤮

Personally i say no hymen no diamond. And i stick to it. Unfortunately its nearly impossible to find virgins to date so i do date non virgins but i do tell them marriage is absolutely off the table. And tbh i expect the relationship to end because i never feel committed to them.

Trust me you dont want men to think of you like that. Pump and dump you. Even your boyfriend might. He obviously finds you as a virgin attractive but many times if you have sex he will feel like he conquered you and that you're a slut for giving it up and dump you not long after. Happens all the time.

So please wait. If you dont want to wait any longer then get married.

Jamie05rhs · Accepted Answer

It is a big deal. Keep doing what you're doing. Don't change. People who give up their moral standards lose all of my respect automatically.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Ain't no virgins at my age. What I care about is that she is not promiscuous and that sex means feelings and commitment.

Just_Another_Nerd · Answer

I think the reason matters. Like, if you're not a virgin because you've been married before, whatever. For a lot of guys it's about commitment. Think about what you would want from your future spouse. Do you want someone who has self control, or someone who doesn't?

Now, if you do end up having sex, make sure you use some form of protection. Having a child out of wedlock is a recipe for poverty and massively shrinks your dating pool. If you're not a virgin because you messed up, but you get it all back under control, the right guy will understand and accept you anyway. If you're not a virgin because you just slept around a bunch for fun, there's definitely a lot of guys who won't consider you marriage material.

Final thought: living with and sleeping with each other prior to marriage is kind of like saying, "I want everything you have to offer, but I reserve the right to dip out the moment something better comes along or I get tired of you." Marriage is more than a piece of paper, it's a commitment to be there for each other when things are at their worst, and that kind of trust in each other matters. Knowing that there is no underlying threat of "well, I'll leave the moment you no longer suit me" makes sex so much more special.

Searlas · Answer

People who choose to remain virgin till marriage are either conservative or religious and its only fair to marry their match. A mismatch in this leads to a boring and unfulfilling marriage (One experienced partner with a non experienced one). Why, there some things expected by the one with experience (e. g. alternative forms of sex, oral, anal, the art of seduction etc) where the other partner isn't open to such (remember he/she is a conservative or religious).

It's selfish for any man who isn't a virgin to have an issue with a woman who isn't but for a virgin man, its justified.

So, if you want to remain a virgin till marriage, get a virgin who will wait, otherwise no man who have tasted a pussy can wait forever.

Or, you can decide to let go, no regrets, a happy marriage is not guaranteed either way.

Anonymous · Answer

It's a personal choice, and one I've never cared about. I honestly can't believe how big of a deal people have always made about virginity. But I also personally believe that it's a huge mistake to wait until marriage because you need to know if you're sexually compatible with your partner as well. People don't seem to take that seriously (especially women) but if you're not, it can cause so many problems in your relationship, and leads to things like cheating etc, even divorce. Best to find out before you get married. However, I also do suggest doing anything you KNOW you're going to regret. Don't be pressured. Make sure it's 100% what you want.

Ripper_E · Answer

No. It's unrealistic to expect her to be a virgin.
Would I love to be her first? Of course. If I have to choose between being the first or the 10th, I'd rather be the first, but I could be the 100th and that doesn't mean she'll want me less or that it won't mean anything to her or me.

MrCommodore · Answer

No, not a problem or a big deal. I mean most women I would consider dating are 28 - 43 age bracket, so its unrealistic to expect them to still be virgins.

One ex of mine was a virgin from years ago, I didn't actually know this until afterwards.

Grond21 · Answer

It's a big deal to me. I'm a virgin, and I would prefer my partner to be a virgin as well. And I have turned down offers for having sex before, as well as opportunities. It's important to me to save myself for marriage. And while I wouldn't necessarily say no to a woman who hadn't, I would at least want her to value it like I do

b5fan · Answer

It is not generally a big deal in most the the US. Generally if you stay a virgin till marriage, you get married early which leads to being married young. This could lead to a long marriage, but will most likely end in divorce. Have a backup career ready in case the marriage doesn't work out and delay children until you both are established in careers.

simonqq · Answer

Personally I think it's very waste waiting for marriage. Personally I wouldn't marry either for a long time so waiting for sex during that time we might as well stay friends.

Anonymous · Answer

Its a huge deal for any guy that’s going to really invest in a long term marriage with u.

Listen to ur mom she gave u really good advice. What’s more important, pleasure in the moment, or long term happiness and respecting yourself?

Anonymous · Answer

It’s a big deal. This makes you highly valuable and desirable as a wife. Every guys dream. I personally would have a problem if my wife was experienced because I’ve only had sex once. The only way I would be cool with it is if she let me have sex with other women so I can “catch up to her”.

OddBeMe · Answer

Would you be ok with a husband who wasn’t a virgin? The older you get, less likely you’ll find that. I’d drop this religious bs and just start properly dating. That way you’ll have a happy marriage instead of a virgin one.

Avicenna · Answer

It’s nice if she is, but I’d never have expected it even as a young adult.

clampfan101 · Answer

I would be very disappointed, but it wouldn’t effect how much I loved her.

Anonymous · Answer

I want my future wife to be a virgin when we get married because I will be one too.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

As long as she isn’t a street hoe idgaf

AmeerX · Answer

I might if she didn't tell me before marriage

KingChris08 · Answer

I wouldn’t have a problem

Anonymous · Answer

It's absolutely no issue.

Guys, Relationship? Would you have a problem if your girlfriend or wife wasn't a virgin?

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