Okay, people, let's hash this out. On which side do you stand?Most girls' POV: "Hi! My boyfriend watches girls on Instagram and other social media and goes to their OF accounts, behind my back. I have addressed that I really don’t like that and it makes me very insecure... he continued to do it! Am I overreacting? Should I just accept this? Please, I need advice! This hurts me so much." PLEASE HELP! Boyfriend problems?
Some guys' POV: "I only follow one person on OnlyFans, and I do it because she is a great person. My girlfriend thinks its cheating. There is nothing romantic between me and the girl I follow. Just videos or pics and sometime texting." How to get my girlfriend to see supporting someones onlyfans is not cheating?\ How to get my girlfriend to see supporting someones onlyfans is not cheating?
It's neither morally wrong nor okay, but it's somewhat pathetic to give your money to a stranger for a fake sexual ' fan relationship', esp when you have a girlfriend/wife/partner.
I don't have an opinion, but want to see the poll results.
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+1 y
In 2020, OnlyFans subscribers ballooned from 12M to 85M.
Ok, this one is a little hard to answer because it’s very subjective. I, personally, never paid anybody on OnlyFans or anywhere else for that matter. I don’t even have an account. Some of my friends do (especially those with kinks).
As to whether or not it’s considered cheating, I could argue both ways. Personally, I would consider it somewhat cheating, because if the girl I’m seeing wasn’t satisfied with what I’m offering, then clearly the relationship isn’t going to work and being in it would only hurt us both. One of my exes used to be extremely jealous when girls were around me (strangers not friends or anything) and she tried to seclude me from everyone for a while. After we broke up, I discovered that she would sext many guys when she was horny and if I wasn’t available. That is cheating in my books. It’s all about the rules that you and your partner set. Hell, even worse if you try to impose some rules that you don’t abide by.
On the other hand, I’ve seen people who are in semi-open relationships. They define cheating differently. In those cases, it could be okay. I also was in one of those, and believe it or not, I enjoyed every second of it. We didn’t sleep with other people but we weren’t exclusive. We flirted with others, we were independent, we had our sperate lives, until she couldn’t handle it anymore and her feelings got hurt when I went on a trip with a bunch of friends, one of whom was dating my ex. She got super insecure and we ended our relationship.
Sorry for boring you with personal stories. I guess the point that I was trying to make is that we define what we want and we can handle. Agreement should be mutual and must be revised every now and then. Our emotions aren’t fixed. They’re not meant to be. Same for our circumstances.
It's one thing if you know these individuals like people on Instagram and OnlyFans in person. For example, my ex girlfriend is now an influencer on IG and she also has/had (honestly have no idea if she still does it) an OnlyFans, I only have her on IG, but I don't go out of my way to interact with her anymore because I am in a relationship with a new woman and last I checked she was now engaged to some other guy.
I feel that if you are in a relationship with another person, it should strictly be with that person. Following an abundance of women on IG who already have thirsty dudes in their DMs is just like OnlyFans, but the only difference with the latter is that you pay to get interaction with these women who truly don't give a fuck about you as an individual and that interaction comes in the form of messages or explicit photos or videos. Why would you need the latter if you have a girlfriend and are having sex with her? It seems more like an insecurity issue if you are resulting to that, or your relationship is not the best or you are not feeling fulfilled enough with your partner. It is emotional cheating at the end of the day.
Not interested in either. Besides, another jab at OnlyFans here, why pay for that when there is free porn? Why waste money on something that is such an oversaturated market just to see some random woman or dude you will never meet and know amd who ultimately only care about you for as long as you drop money on their content?
I agree with you. Re: your "why pay?" see my reply to clampfan101 (blue user.) That 11 min video explains it very well. Some men get caught in that thirst trap. It's the personalization and the fake 'relationship' that is doing a mind fuck on some.
To me it's only a problem because it makes you feel bad and he's doing it behind your back.
But if someone is ok with it and everyone is being honest about it it's fine. It really depends on a person's preference.
Personally my husband likes looking and talking to other pretty women sometimes. It doesn't bother me because at the end of the day I know I'm the most gorgeous woman to him. And Visa versa. I can talk to other men if I choose too and he's not upset about it. And if something does end up bothering me or him we feel OK to express it and it will stop. Neither one of us wants the other to feel uncomfortable. As long as we are honest with each other.
It's more common than you think that people hide things which is when it becomes deceitful in a relationship. And if he is not making you feel like you are the most gorgeous woman then he should stop. If I were you I would sit him down and ask him to explain why he likes it without judging him. And then see how he feels about you looking at and talking to other good looking men. If he says no then he needs to stop himself. Maybe it will help him understand how insecure it would make him feel therefore help him sympathize with your feelings. Or maybe he will be ok with it. If he is and you still aren't maybe he's not your right match.
This is good advice. The question's not about me though. My husband watches porn sometimes and I've told him I'm fine with it, as long as he doesn't pay for it.
They are not "sex workers" that term is not something simple.
Option C is a really detailed explanation on what i think so I won't rewrite it.
Now I'm not one who believes that once you date you can't like a pic on Instagram with a girl's booty showing, it's pathetic to let something so fleeting affect a relationship like literally no one can even name insta usernames unless they run into them.
Now OF is practically like having a pornhub subscription and it's really a waste of money above all else since there is SO much porn out there for free.
So I think it's wrong for people dating or not to actually willingly spend money to "see" a booty.
One of my friends always asks me when I start talking to someone new "did she send you nudes" and my answer is always the same "why would I want her to? I'm interested in seeing her and interacting with her, if all goes well I'll see AND touch, why would I throw my chances over a picture?"
So yeah it's pathetic for someone who has someone to be investing in something like this considering if he plays his cards right he can actually have all the sex he fantasies about while looking at those pics
I think there is one thing to consider first. Men are attracted to women. It's as simple as that. They still love their partner but will on the beach their eye will travel or while on social media they will find stuff that attracts them. I assume girls can feel the same way looking at pictures of celebrities with muscles. Just the simple act of a bachelorette party
Suggests this, especially because there is no way all girls in a bachelorette party are single.
So coming from that angle, men don't dislike their partner simply because they are still attacted to other women.
Apart from that, donating to this type of social media, is a bit awkward and a gray area... In fact, you should be spending the money on things to do with your partner and not another girl. So, I'd say you can thumbs up but don't stay on there for long amounts of time and desire to have fun with your partner when you can. Remember, real experiences, trump fake ones
1. Do I think it's okay to flirt with, or spend money on a member of the opposite sex (for their attention) while in a serious (heterosexual) relationship (directly or digitally)? My answer is "No"
2. Would I be comfortable with my girlfriend doing the same with another guy (directly or digitally)? My answer is also "No".
I'm quite possessive, so I consider this to be cheating; no different from flirting with another person in front of your partner. I accept that some people are okay with that (open flirting while in a relationship), but I am not. It's a deal breaker because it is disrespectful at least, cruel and shameless at the worst (because you're basically hurting your partner on purpose).
I think the problem with people who do this is that they don't think about how they would feel if their partner put them in a similar situation. How would the guys feel for instance, if their girlfriends decided to start camming, or opened an onlyfans of their own? Too few people consider the precedent being set in these, and other scenarios.
I think it's generally a stupid idea to give your money away. It doesn't matter if it's Twitch donations or only fans or whatever. Since onlyfans is more active than following someones instagram I can understand why a girl would feel upset about it.
But the guy is still one out of millions so I don't know.. I voted C but it could also be B depending on the circumstances. Who pays 40 bucks a month for some pics? I don't get it. The only time I give money away is buying my friends beers or supporting a charity that's it. It's my money and I like keeping it in case I need it. I think we have to fight income inequality but when people use their money like this it makes me wonder if they even want it.
I guess this is the new place for washes up celebrities instead of going in trashy reality tv shows or making a sex tape they can make their own reality tv show like this.
I think the only way this could be morally right is if: 1. your partner knows fully about it and has access to your subscription to see what you're spending money on 2. your partner is fully okay and comfortable with you doing it.
This isn't just porn, this is essentially a virtual sexual relationship with a sex worker and should be handled as such. there are open or poly relationships where both people would be fully comfortable if one or both of them had a subscription to only fans, but it shouldn't be treated as just whacking one out to a porn video.
I think it's more sad (as in, "ew what a loser" type sad), rather than "wrong" per se.
Like, it's sad that a guy has a real life girlfriend he can make love to multiple times a day if they both want, but instead he spends his time and money simping for glorified camgirls and, presumably, emptying out his Kleenex multipacks in the dim blue glow of his computer light.
If you do not care and you are ok with it... then it is ok.
If you are hurt by it and feel violated, like they are betraying you... then it is not ok.
If you are married and share income and they are wasting the families resources for some sexual fulfillment outside the marriage and you feel they are stealing from the family and wasting the families money... it is not ok.
If you want to live in a van down by the river... that is ok too.
Yes it's wrong, and interacting with people by messages and videos is not the same as porn like some people think. Porn, you're watching it you're not actually interacting with those people.. if I'm in a relationship and that man feels like he needs to be paying some female only fan, he should really save that money to get back into the dating pool, cuz he'd be single real quick... And too, I wonder how many guys that do this would have a problem if it was their girlfriend doing it 🤔
It´s wrong because it´s orientating your sexual desires on a person you´ll never meet. It´s hard to admit it but some guys that watch can get aroused by even hearing the name of their favourite porn star. I think it´s wrong because if you´re relationship you´re sexual focus should be on your partner not any other women.
It becomes wrong when the person is having sex with someone else or been unfaithful by planning to be with someone else. However just paying for OF isn't wrong it's kinda like paying for porn, really that don't mean it ain't sad though which it for sure is. And i wouldn't expect a women to stay with a guy who pays for porn. Staying with a guy who watches porn now and then who cares. But a guy who pays for it with a girl already eh.
I don't think it is morally right or wrong. It depends on what rules and boundaries were established at the beginning of the committed relationship between the people involved. If the conversation never occurred, then they weren't taking the relationship seriously to begin with.
If he desires other women he’s cheating. Paying money makes it worse.
now, if he was doing an HFO or something where the main attraction is the concept rather than the model, that’s less bad.
some compare it to erotic fiction, with that then if you can put your SO in the story in a good way then it’s mostly fine. An example of something not ok would be constant cheating fantasies
Haha with the way things are going chances are your girlfriend probably has an onlyfans too or maybe is considering making an account.
So... If she's ok with selling herself on the internet then if the guy wants to simp for another girl why not?
Cause look guys can say they don't want their gfs selling on onlyfans. And the girl can simply say it's her body and she can do what she wants.
And now you flip it where the girl is saying she doesn't want the guy to spend money on onlyfans. Well it's his money he can spend it however he wants...
You don't want guys telling girls what they can and can't do with their bodies. Well don't be a hypocrite and start telling guys what they can and can't do with their money.
I don't think these overlap the way you are suggesting. Most people fall on one of two camps - they either support it (for both sexes), or don't.
But then add to that, guys may want to pay for it themselves, but not want their girlfriends to do it for money. That's hypocrisy. And jealousy. (And same thing goes for a girl who makes money on it, but doesn't want her boyfriend to pay others. I doubt these are common scenarios though.)
If you and your partner have some sort of mutual understanding/interpretation of that being ok for the relationship, fine.
I don't believe that watching (free) porn is cheating. Paying for the services/videos of a person on Only Fans (who is also servicing others) crosses a line of respect for me. I don't know that I'd consider it to me cheating-- unless they have open communication or some sort of interaction with that person.
I would never pay to get photos, videos, texts from any woman while I'm in a relationship. OnlyFans or otherwise. If it's just porn, meaning videos, clips, movies, then sure. But on OnlyFans you are personally selecting who you want content from and then paying for it. Fuck that.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
It's wrong not just because he is digitally cheating, but because he is a simp and can't do this on his own meeting women, or at least his girl doesn't provide him in the validation that he wants. So he's an asshole to date her when he knows that she's not what he wants.
It's obviously cheating & crosses a lot of lines. Why are you giving your money to some virtual whore on the net when you can give it to the person who actually fucks you/save it for something productive/etc?
If I am giving money or gifts to anyone, it is loved ones. Hookers are not for when you are in a relationship unless the relationship isn't strictly monogamous.
It depends. Generally speaking, only fans allow personal interaction, so unlike porn , it can be said that they are sexually interacting with other people while in a committed relationship. So if either of the partners is not okay with it, it's cheating.
Its wrong the same way I dont wanna date a girl who has an only fans, they sell a "girlfriend experience" on there... how is that not in the arena of cheating?
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