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Is it toxic for your boyfriend to want to control how you dress? (Page 2)
Anonymous
(25-29) 
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No. Its toxic if you allow him to lol. Also something might be wrong with you to date a control freak who doesn't like how you dress.
Or you just dress shity and you should thank him for not wanting to be seen with you dressed f****d up hanging on his arm in public
Before you become official with someone, you pretty much should have a clear idea of who your partner is
It doesn't make sense to have a girlfriend, then tell her: "hey, I don't like this about you, and this, this, this, ..." That's fucking dumb.
@DiegoO but it happens in every relationship. Even if it doesn't come out that way specifically, it happens and its not all bad. You would want your friends to tell you if you look like a douche before going in public right? Well if you value your partner amd their opinion then there's a right way to criticize and a wrong way to critique. But they main component there is communicating. Just you don't try to control and completely change someone you're with to fit your image of what you want them to look like or how to be. Communicate properly by simply using freakin tact. Accepting who they are and how they choose to express themselves. š¤·
There is a difference between giving an opinion and giving an order. You can give an opinion, which can be considered or not. An order is to have power and control.
An as I said. If you knew your partner always dressed such away, why complain? Obviously they are cases where anyone make the mistake to dress up wrongly, certain way, for a specific ocasion.
@DiegoO orders have the same outcome as opinions young Jedi. The person receiving them has the CHOICE to follow and/or obey. I can tell you "your shirt doesn't go with your pants, you need to change them, like now." Depending on my tone and your level of interest and/or fear of WHATEVER, could be taken as an opinion or an order. Bro you haven't heard how some mothers talk to their daughters about how to dress. They're worse than some abusive bfs smh. But my point is... CHOICE. Everyone always has a choice. Whether to do or to not do. Just have to way the outcome and see what's worth it to you at the time.
Then you have some people who need that guidance and seek out a partner to do such things as control the way they dress, eat and how to speak. š¤· we all have choices though.
They might have the same outcome, but they don't have the same cognitation, young jedi.
Her boyfriend is a controlling freak.
cognotation *
He expressed a concern. Instead of asking if itās toxic and controlling, why donāt you reassure him that youāre not trying to provoke attention and make him feel special. Since when is expressing an insecurity controlling. He didnāt demand that you do anything.
I personally want my partner to dress a certain way, but would not date them in the first place if they don't dress to my taste. I don't want to try to change someone to appear as someone they're not. I love boho fashion and am especially attracted to girls that dress it.
It's the same on my end. I wouldn't mind a girl giving input on what looks nice and what doesn't, but I don't want her trying to change the way I dress entirely.
Yes, it is very controlling and should not be happening. Not to defend him in anyway but to be blunt about this, everyone wants to feel secure in their relationships and flirting undermines that. Just as you would not like to see your partner looking at other girls, he will not want to see you in clothes that would cause me to look. Its two sides of the same coin. Men are more visual than women so he'll see this as more important than you.
All that said, dump him.
What you just described sounds extremely toxic and especially extremely manipulative. He's deliberately manipulating you and emotionally blackmailing you.
You need to get rid of that piece of shit.
Learn to keep covered instead of looking like a cheap hoe! You ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP, keep your ass and breasts covered. Stop wanting men checking you out for attention! If you are dressing sensible then he does have issues! I am not saying you dress like a how as I do not know, I am saying IF YOU DO and NOT that you are! Good luck!
No man will tell me how to dress and what to wear. I don't dress trashy anyway. As I would never impose my views and try and change my partner. I would make a suggestion. If he likes it great , if not then that's fine.
There is a big difference between dressing comfortable and dressing like a slut. He needs to calm down. As long as you are comfortable and covered it doesn't matter how you dress. He is definitely toxic and it usually only gets worse. I'm surprised he doesn't pick out what clothes you can wear yet.
Of course. There is nothing wrong with a man giving his opinion but still allow me to make my own decision that I feel is best for me. If the opinion is attached with anger and ultimatums then thatās when everything goes left.
Your boyfriend is far too controlling and is very afraid that you're going to cheat on him. I think you need to have a talk with him about this and if he doesn't come around I think you need to find a new boyfriend. As somebody else mentioned as time goes by this is just going to get worse and worse and worse.
It is very controlling and he feels very insecure.
He's not probably gonna change and you are not gonna feel comfortable being told what to do and how to dress.
So you know, both of you are better off with someone who understands each other's preferences and share the same taste
Well let me tell you western whores if you were in an Islamic country and living with me you would need to put the burka on to hide all those black and blue bruises for refusing my demands. Forcing you to dress like a nice conservative Muslim woman. Don't deny me sex either because I will beat the fuck out of you woman then rape you. I'm allowed to do this its in the Quran.
I'm in a muslim majority country
You sound very immature and and you're only 14.
In a muslim majority country, if you beat your wife, it will be mandatory for your wife to file a divorce against you. Also burka isn't compulsory.
@sarahemilyyy Ahh yes Malaysia has a huge Muslim terrorist problem too. See when you are majority Muslim country might as well call you all terrorists. You make it sound so easy when in a divorce court the women is only worth 1/3 of what the man is worth. Besides you women would not want to bring shame to your great family name right?
Lol most of us are terrorist? Then malaysia will be a war torn country by now lol! But its not! And indonesia? A country with most muslims? Look how foreigners flock there for the sake of the beautiful beaches! Is indoensia a war torn country? No! In fact, Malaysia and indoensia were ACTUALLY war torn countries because we were INVADED, COLONIZED by EUROPEAN POWERS which were Dutch and UK. Pls, think before u speak.
You're only 14. Grow up boy.
@sarahemilyyy Why are you still talking Muslim woman? Honestly read your damn stupid book and see for your self. Connect the dots why is Islam and it's followers so inherently evil and violent. It stems down to your book! You know how many sick and twisted imams are out there teaching how Islam should punish the infidels? LOTS! I hope when China is done with the Uighurs they move on other Chine's Muslims because there is only one way to deal with Muslim terrorists and that's to do exactly what china is doing.
You're just sick. Even my muslim majority country is much safer than the US with school mass shooting going on, along with Asian hate crimes. And lo and behold, I don't have any death count. Shocking right? Hmmm you must be wondering why many more Muslims don't agree with the imaams that you've mentioned and never kill people. One fun fact for you : out of 1 billion muslims, less than 1% are involved with terrorism. If 1 billion Muslims are terrorists, the world would have been wiped by now.
It's like saying that every Mexican you see are drug dealers just because you've been watching a lot of news reporting that a number of mexicans are smuggling.
What you've been watching? CNN? Fox news? You must have been cooped up in your tv rolm for so long that u think that the people in the news are the majority. Poor u. Go out more okay?
The thing is china is messing with everyone regardless of religion. Goodluck with your commie fantasy and see how it'll hit yourself in the head.
Geez, why in the world would you tolerate that treatment. The dude is a jealous insecure boob, and it will only get worse. Tell him to knock that shit off, laugh at him and dress however you want.
NOT showing off a lot of your skin, ass, tits, and legs is NOT dressing like a grandma! He cares about you and wants you to himself and the thought of having other guys checking your body out bothers him. If you don't like his way of thinking, you should not be dating him.
Yes but think about it. He knows what other men are thinking and instead of the men bothering him, sheās the one being punished. If he cared about HER, why wouldnāt he want her to dress how she wants? She canāt control other men so why should he be able to control her? Covering up wonāt stop men from looking. Men were leering and raping women when covered head to toe in gowns and corsets and stockings and socks and heels and head coverings since the 1800s. If he trusts HER it shouldnāt matter what she wears it should upset him that MEN are acting like that and his anger should be directed towards those men. Does that make sense? Like she canāt dictate whoās going to look at her. Also this is one of the HUGE indicators of an abusive person and frankly if a guy ever said that to me I wouldnāt just leave I would make sure his friends and family are aware of his abusive behaviors and get him in therapy. This is not a healthy way to think. You never own your partner and therefore canāt dictate what they wear or how they express themselves. You donāt own them
@janellie1917 janellie, no one owns any one. Question is "why does she want to show skin, ass, and tits?"
@SpaceGalaxy Iām DYING right now. Your profile is extremely sexual and obviously you adore womenās bodies so why does it bother you when they WANT to show themselves off to please themselves? Oh I get it you only like women when they aren't giving you consent. You only like womenās bodies when they are forced to please you. You like STEALING pictures of women and posting them instead of whatās offered. Women can show off what they want in the same way men show off their bodies too. I love showing my body off because itās mine. And I love my body.
I think itās sad you donāt appreciate self love. But it makes sense because you donāt have that do you? You hate yourself which is why itās so easy to say āwhy are women showing off?ā
You have nothing to show off.
You donāt love yourself. So of course you would question that
@janellie1917 whatever makes you feel good. good luck to you (and your poor boyfriend who has to keep thinking about men masturbating over the thought of his girlfriend ) Happy 4th of July if we don't get to chat until then. And yes, i love women 100% I believe they are God's #1 work of art
Why would it be my fault that men masturbate to me? Men masturbate to everything including child porn. Iām not gonna change what I post because I canāt change what men do. Thatās on those men lol. I donāt have a boyfriend and with the way men act I donāt really want one right now. And if I did have a boyfriend, if he EVER tried to control what I wore or posted or who I hung out with I would leave him. And if he doesnāt agree with my life he should leave too. My aunt is dead because her boyfriend ādidnāt like her skirtā āor her post with the blue dressā then he pushed her down a flight of stairs and killed her and didnāt go to jail. Then he killed a 14 year old girl. I have no interest in controlling men!
@janellie1917 Okay Take good care please
This is not a good start to a relationship. Dump his controlling ass to the kerb, because it'll only get worse from there.
Well you asked for a permission to fuck someone else, he denied it, now you are asking 'is it alright to fuck other guys behind your boyfriend's back'
It isn't.
The bottom line the way I understand it
Girl, no lol. I didnāt ask anything like that. What you and many others obviously didnāt read was that I said he typically can be very passive aggressive when I wear something as simple as some shorts, or a tank top, or leggings. I donāt dress like a hooker. I dress normal and for the weather because as I said I want to be comfortable. This isnāt the 1800ās where all women wear are dresses and are forbidden to even wear jeans and if you do youāre seen as a slut who wants to sleep around with men. I didnāt nor do I go out in my bra and underwear. I donāt wear shorts that show my ass cheeks nor do I wear tank tops that show my breast, itās all casual wear and he still does this.
yes def toxic, he is belittling you and it's not going to get any better, every time you give in to his demands, there'll be another one, and more serious, next will come the demand for not seeing your friends, then not going out at all,
No, he should date someone who doesn't dress slutty then.
Thats stupid
@Alpha4U Coming from a white knight, nice.
Agree!
Im far from that. it isbeta to be bitchy... he is a bitch
@Alpha4U Perhaps his reaction could be better. But I can tell you for sure that no man with self-respect is going to accept his woman to dress revealing in public.
@TruthBringer Then he should have dated her in the first place. its my thing to "change" a woman.
im already a traditional man... and i like traditional woman. but not gonna bitch about a woman who is NOT my taste
* not have dated her
*its not my thing
@Alpha4U Very true words indeed. This is the issue that many people put themselves through. They jump into dating without truly getting to know the person, only to find out they are incompatible in certain areas. I've made that mistake in the past aswel. This is why it's extremely important to get to know a person well before deciding to jump into a relationship.
So yeah, if he thought about "changing" her, then that's his own fault. But if she happens to dress revealing when she is not around him, then he has every right to be upset. That's why you don't see me date party girls or girls who indulge in promiscuity or substance abuse. Because I'm not going to bother trying to "change" them. So I simply seek out women who don't indulge in these lifestyles, to begin with. But many people seem to shame men who have a preference for modest women.
@TruthBringer i 100% agree with you.
men need to do better and not be slave to the pussy. sadly many men are simps
as for these party women, they are only good for one thing. lol
@Alpha4U You speak my language. Spot on!
Is it toxic for your boyfriend to want to control how you dress?
hell yeah , you need to get rid of him asap , he will only become worse later
Lmao leave his @$$ 😂 someone who thinks your value goes down because you wear something comfortable is a no no