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Is it toxic for your boyfriend to want to control how you dress? (Page 2)
Anonymous
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Maybe he's just insecure, jealous and doesn't want other guys staring at you. It's common to have that. Just talk to him about it and build that trust. If he's still not understanding then it might be getting a bit toxic
If a boyfriend doesn't want his girl showing so much skin and tells her, I think thats perfectly normal.
He can tell her whatever he wants. Doesn’t mean she has to listen.
There’s nothing wrong with saying something but this guy sounds controlling
Lol, NOT NORMAL.
@MzAsh If he is normal about it (unlike the guy in the story) and she doesn't listen, then he isn't obligated to date her anymore either. If my partner doesn't keep my wishes and boundaries at hear, then I see not why I should be with her.
Of course. I’m sure she’d be fine with him taking a walk.
Yes, Get out as fast as possible. This leads to stuff like verbal & physical abuse later on in the relationship.
No it's not. You can also comment on his attire
Usually, I'd just comment on it, if I find it too immodest
Yeah it is
she shouldn't control how i dress, he shouldn't control how you dress
if he has a problem with how you dress... why didn't he, when he met you
As long as what you're very is respectful & not trashy, it's fine. Otherwise yes, he is being controlling
* what you're wearing
No one should control anyone. It's his insecurities, fear of losing her. Not knowing it just pushes her away.
Control no, talk about what he's comfortable with you wearing and why yes.
Toxic , no... but direspectfully controlling , yes. How you dress is how you will be addressed.
There’s a difference between control and advise. Let him advise you, but make your own decisions.
You know, women will change a guy's entire dress style and wardrobe when she starts dating him and they say " I fixed him " and that's never seen a toxic. Lol
BOOM! I know right? Meanwhile, a dude is labeled all kind of things by simply having a preference 😂
@TruthBringer a lot of women have no self awareness. Lol
It is in my opinion, because he's acting like he's your father or mother.
Only if he's pushing it and it isn't mutual/consensual.
Some guys like their girls to be dressed decent that's all I can say.
Depends on the clothes... I mean a shirt with DTF printed on it would be a clear sign you want to break up.
No, you're his wife. It's his job to make sure you make good decisions.
Do you like this dude? How's the sex with him? Do you find yourself more attracted to other dudes?
What does that have to do with what she said?
@Lrig93 Quite a bit. It will determine whether or not it's worth putting up with this shit.
I think it’s pretty toxic tbh bc he’s being insecure
It's abusive. He isn't your parent to decide what you should wear.
Like you would listen to your parents 😂
@Aakash_Hangargi BOOM 😂
@Aakash_Hangargi I don't get it 😂
Actually the parents have no voice on how kids dress after a certain age.
Controlling parents are more serious. You can walk out of a romantic relationship
Text him a pic of yourself on the beech in a string bikini. Then get a new boyfriend.
He should not control on your life do what ever you feel like but it doesn't harm his repect
if you dont like it then leave. i won't be with some WHORWE
Its only toxic to slutty behavior
Yes! Wear what you want to wear.
Seems like a small price to pay for someone you love, if you're not wearing super short skirts and showing all of your upper body
@7771999 “a small price to pay”... nonsense. She is her own person
I'd do a lot to keep someone I love happy. Changes pants or something would kill me. Lol
Women are too interested in being independent when they're supposed to be a partner in a relationship...
@7771999 but you are talking about control. Just as I don’t tell my husband what to wear, he doesn’t tell me what fashion choices I should make.
So you can just go out the door with a bra on, and you'll get pissed off if he wants you to change?
@7771999 don’t be ridiculous
It's a hyperbolic example to show how some of us feel if our girlfriend goes out with very revealing clothes...
@7771999 enjoy being single
Ouch
@7771999 As you can see, there is no point in arguing with some of these women. They want the freedom of being and acting single, while having the benefits of being in a relationship. Classic case of them wanting to have their cake and eat it too. And the fact she resorted to ad hominems (telling you to enjoy being single, which we all know is her trying to be demeaning and attack you personally) goes to show she can't come up with a valid counter argument to your comments.
@TruthBringer the “valid counter argument was where I said she is her OWN PERSON”. She is NOT your property. Apparently you aren’t man enough to handle a woman that can think for herself. That’s too bad.
I wasn't saying that. Sorry
Thanks for proving my point. It seems like you cannot construct a valid argument without the use of logical fallacies (in this case ad hominems). Sweetheart, I don't date women who I want to change later on. My girlfriend is exactly the way she is, dresses and buys the clothes she wants. Sure she asks me of my opinion and in case I don't like something, she listens. Same thing applies for me to her. It's called being a team and listening to each other.
You on the other hand are clearly projecting your own flaws onto us by implying we "can't handle" a woman who can think for herself. But you've clearly just shown that you cannot even stand men who have standards and preferences. You're very easy to read. Sorry to burst your bubble, but your shaming tactics are flawed and self-refuting. Try again.
@TruthBringer then I’m happy that you found the perfect woman for you. I don’t mean that facetiously.
But that is a choice which both of you make. As far as my husband goes, he dresses how he wishes, and so do I.
Then you've both found compatibility in regards to this topic. Some people are more 'careful' or 'territorial' when it comes to what their partners dress. And I think that's perfectly fine until it gets out of hand and one becomes a tyrant over the other.
@TruthBringer
That's how I feel too
@TruthBringer I think it boils down to love and respect. I love my husband, and I respect his fashion choices, and he me and mine.
Yes. That's healthy. I think you're both correct
But I want to be able to tell my girlfriend if I'm uncomfortable about her choice of clothing. Same goes for her telling me.
@7771999 That’s between the two of you. Don’t let me or my opinions stop you from doing you.
Oh definitely, at the same time I bet you never had issues with the way he dressed, to begin with. We men in general don't really wear clothes that can be seen as taboo. While this topic is far more aimed towards the way women dress since the fashion industry of women focuses a lot on showing female sexuality.
@TruthBringer don’t think I don’t cringe at some of the things I see women wear. But hey, as far as I’m concerned... if that’s how they want to look then it’s on them.
@7771999 You have every right to tell your girlfriend whenever you are uncomfortable. A relationships is about making compromise for the sake of working towards something together. If it means getting rid of certain habits or styles in order to work towards something greater, I see not why I should not do that or expect my partner do the same since she agreed being in a relationship with me.
And you're right, I've noticed that so many women try to have their cake and eat it too. They want a boyfriend and all the benefits he brings, but God forbid if he expects her to behave like she is in a relationship and not like she is single. This is why I'm extremely picky with the women I date. You won't see me date women who dress provocatively or hit the club
I appreciate you both. Thank you 🙏🏻
And thank you @TruthBringer for clearing up my points 😊
Redflag. This is controlling
not if you're into it.
Yes extremely toxic gtfo of there
Yea I think that’s toxic.
yeah duh
What does your age have to do with it?
Fuck with him and wear Duck Tape.
sounds VERY controlling, is that what you like?
Yes, that’s a big red flag.
You passed toxic a while back.
He is beta AF !
Yikes.
run girl just run
Yeah
He sounds jealous. You can do better
Yes... stop being a puppet
I assume he was the Hunter
Yes it is
Yes, it is.
Yes 💯
Douche
😑😑
The way he's talking to her about it isn't cool.
He's being paranoid. Which is over the top
He's being an ass
But, I'm just answering the question itself 😶
Having input is one thing but you can't control someone AND be an ass about it
Nah, true.
But what if I were to say you should wear a skirt that is a little longer?
Or that I don't like how much of your back is showing? Should I just stfu?
As long as you're nice about it.
But would really hate the idea of changing a small thing to make your man happy? Less paranoid about guys staring at you?
Some of us don't like to 'show off' our girlfriends to the world... It's uncomfortable
If you demand it or shame her out of wearing what she wants. That's what makes it toxic in my opinion
Then I guess I'll have to find a woman who doesn't want all the perverted men of the world to stare at her. Lol
I'm not going to deal with a girl who wants to wear clothes like a stripper.
Shorts and a tank top doesn't make you a stripper. No one said stripper clothes. Just normal summer clothes everyone wears
Not shorts and tank tops. But you girls love to have the shortest shorts in the world.
Half of your ass cheeks hanging out sometimes... I'd feel awful being around a girl like that
Lmao I rarely EVER see that. What is your point? Majority of people don't wear shit like that
What is wrong with a skirt or pair of shorts that go to about the middle of your thighs? Is it really that ugly?
Yeah. Those super short ones aren't as normal as the ones right under their ass
I feel bad for your girlfriend. Nothing is wrong with it if that's what she wants to wear. You are arguing with me and we don't even disagree about the issue. I think it's ok to ask your partner to wear something modest as long as you aren't an ass
Good ☝🏻
Can be
Yes he can't control
The hell yeah
Controlling