Have you ever been unjustly accused of cheating on your partner/spouse?

Question

I was living with a girlfriend who got paranoid jealous when she was drinking. She accused me of having affairs with women in three different states, all at least 1,000 miles away, even though I left home every day not earlier than 9 am and returned every day not later than 7 pm. So glad that's history!

There is nothing as aggravating as being accused of something of which you are entirely innocent, there is obviously no proof to fuel the suspicions, but your partner is still unrelenting with the accusations. There's your sign! Have you had this experience?

HiveBee · Accepted Answer

Every girl I've been with has acted crazy and freaked out as if I was about to cheat all the time.

It's funny because I was always this shy weirdo. Most of the time, women would be creeped out by me. Because contrary to what girls usually say on here about liking shy guys, it's not really true except in some rare cases.

Me being shy and awkward and weird made women avoid me and look at me like I was some kind of freakish predator.

But once I got in a relationship with a girl it was the complete opposite. They would be constantly paranoid that girls are hitting on me, talking to me, flirting with me.

And I'd always say to whoever I'm dating "how do you not remember the fact that I'm just a shy awkward weirdo that makes women uncomfortable by simply being around them?

I didn't get it until recently now i finally understand why.

Because inside of a relationship, I'm hyper dominant. I automatically take the lead in everything. I've been the one to break up with every girl except my first girlfriend ever at like 14.

They feared me running off, because they saw the real me that emerges inside the relationship. I'm shy and awkward when I meet new girls. And the complete opposite inside a relationship.

And so I've had nearly every girlfriend act crazy. Cuz I see now that when a woman has that kind of masculine dominant guy, they become territorial animals. Hissing at other females like cats and shit. Hanging on me and hugging and kissing on me when other girls are around. Claiming their territory. Showing me off as if im not a shy weirdo.

It's amazing though in my opinion how me being shy with new girls labels me as some non masculine beta Male that makes women avoid me like I'm a freak but treat me like I'm the king when we are in a relationship.

TruthBringer · Accepted Answer

Yeah, I have with the last girl I dated. Even though I never cheated, she thought I was, even though I've not given her a reason. I think that her being away to another country for some time for school has given her paranoia since in her eyes I "get a lot of attention from girls". Either it was paranoia due to her insecurities or she was projecting her own actions onto me. That's what cheaters themselves ofte do, accuse others of cheating. So I'm not sure if she was actually cheating. I wouldn't be surprised if she did, at the same time I wouldn't be surprise if she didn't. One thing I know for sure is that I ended it because I wasn't going to deal with her crap anymore and am now in a happy relationship. Neither of us accuse the other of cheating.

meetkitty123 · Accepted Answer

1) In a similar situation now.
My best friend is accusing me of sleeping with her husband.
the day after being gone on a trip to visit family. She found stuff in her bedroom that was not hers. After looking into somethings She concluded he was cheating and left him.
During a fight where she told him she would never return unless he admitted who the girl was... he angrily claimed the items were mine...
So now I'm the bad guy 🤷...
Though its so obvious it couldn't be me because I was with my family the whole time and the item supposedly mine is something I never use... If she paid any attention at all dhe would notice he was just trying to hurt her further. Honestly I just want nothing to do with them now!
2) My other situation was when my spouse had a series of strokes he began to suffer from paranoia. I had a doctor's appointment and was about to leave for it when he went in a rampage. Throwing things accusing me of sneaking out and yelling at the top of his lungs calling me a whore. I had to pack my kids up anf leave. We spent a few days displaced until he had his meds adjusted by doctors. The door lock keypad is still broken from that rant. 😒
3) Another time long ago I was accused of cheating on my daughter's father not by him but by his mother 🙄. She swung by my house and I wasn't home with the baby like I should have been "keeping house". Apparently I can't have a life... I was over at her sister's house showing them the baby and thanking them for the baby gifts (the aunt was the only one in the family who gifted me anything for the baby!)... When I told them where I was apparently I was a poor liar... And even though the aunt confirm my where abouts... His mom insisted the aunt was covering for me... 🙄 Im do glad I got the hell away frim that family!

crazyish · Accepted Answer

From my personal experiences, the people doing the accusing are the ones who are in reality doing the cheating. It's projection of guilt. They believe since they are doing it then the other person probably is.

Jean-Marie_Céline · Answer

That's terrible, I remember how many problems your ex gave you!
To me it happened a couple of times, and the accuser wasn't my fiancée, but third parties.
In the most egregius case this person snapped a pic of me talking and hugging this woman and sent it to my fiancée. My fiancée saw it was my sister and she told so to that person, and this person proceeded to drop out of our lives and unfriending us on Facebook.

Imcmullan · Answer

Although I haven't been accused of cheating, I have been the one accusing someone excessively. When I first started dating the person I'm married to now, they were dating other people. I forgave them bc we weren't official but after that I would constantly accuse her of cheating on me... i have also been cheated on in the past. I had to work hard to let it go.. but what people. who cheat don't get is , not only does that occurrence ruin a current relationship.. it ruins the next... and it makes your significant other feel like they are worthy of loyalty from people.. it causes insecurities that cut so deep. I say, instead of running away from your ex, understand that she doesn't want to feel that way. She doesn't want to be filled with anxiety... wondering if you're cheating... everyone wants to be happy.. its just hard when you've been hurt so much in the past to believe that anyone can treat you well and genuine love you... instead of taking it personal try to do little things to calm her nerves and prove to her that what u say is true. Trust me, I was that woman and I hated myself for it... its hard to trust someone even if they are trustworthy after you've been with manipulative people. A narcissistic can really cause damage to people that last long.

Anonymous · Answer

Ok so, if every girl feels like this it's for one of 3 reasons : The Guy...
1) Unintentionally, you make her feel insecure by not validating her feelings but instead saying what's she's feeling is invalid. You already know women are emotional. So, just be nice and constant reassurance of your love all the time, is key.

2) He was drunk one day and told her a drunken story that involved a past experience with another girl which probably didn't sound great so it created tons of doubt in her mind. If your girlfriend mentioned to you that she had a massive orgy party one random afternoon while in college years before she met you... I think you would also have doubts.

3) Women openly have flirted with boyfriend or husband and obviously it made her jealous and she probably wondered, well if he did that in front of me without putting a stop to it, he can do that behind my back with no problems.

This is why women feel insecure. Mainly, actions that were not intentional. Lovely and kind words will always work with women that already do love you.

Leavesbound · Answer

Yes once. I had come to the conclusion that the woman I was dating was not for me. She had lied to me about something important and honesty in a relationship is important to me. I have her multiple opportunities to fix her problem that she lied about and she kept making up excuses not to so I told her I could not see her any more. She reacted by asking "so who is it?" She assumed that the only reason to leave her is the result of finding someone else. I told her "I haven't met her yet." and hung up the phone.

CubsterShura · Answer

Very recently. Some dude is interested in me and I told him that I can't see our situation going anywhere until we can go out on some actual dates hopefully after a few months. Meanwhile my bestie showed my a picture of this really hot guy and I've been stalking his social media and fangirling him for the fun of it. The guy that I agreed to date in the future got to know about it and thought that I ditched him for a other guy. 😂😂 Fortunately the misunderstanding is cleared now, he seems to think it's fair enough since I'm not actually dating him now.

rjroy3 · Answer

Never.

Worst I ever had was in highschool my girlfriend accused me (rightfully) of being attracted to another girl I was talkin to before she and I got together.

She never accused me of cheating. Just having feelings or a soft spot in my heart for the other girl, which i did. Pretty universally my girlfriend's have understood I'm loyal in that. My biggest issues have been them being worried I might get bored of them one day or that I don't "really" love them.

Always strike a balance between not caring and being controlling. Pick one, or she will pick for you.

msbrightness · Answer

Oh yes,
Never emotionally,
Sex has happened with an old hookup whilst the 'relationship' (that parents ruined prior to that) was... busy with paperwork,
Call it disappointment (and some basic form of validation of being a living being seeking)
And been accused of... extreme infidelity when nothing remotely significant happened.
The glorification of promiscuity got me as far as the beginning of something, then I switched off.
There are people out there who still try to claim that was a significant relationship.
Try to be hot, an orphan, and that's what gets set up for you.

EssenceOfLight · Answer

A lot with my former two long term relationships and I've never cheated before they did. Somehow I tend to think people who are paranoid about cheating like my first love are cheaters. Calls in mid of the night, checking trash in my flat, smelling on my clothes, interrogation of my friends... etc. Of course she cheated as I didn't want to sleep with her 4 months long because she got over one of my personal red lines.
My second girlfriend didn't cheat but she used every girl who just smiled or looked too long at me as pretext to start her hatred tirades against me. She apologized always later, but such apology is a dog shit worth when the she does it again and again.

Anonymous · Answer

I went on a few dates I wanted to get to know this guy in depht, thats what dating is for after all, he didn't like me talking to other men would eavesdrop and watch me but also went through my phone? in one way I didn't care because the only thing on my phone is pics of projects and my pets but in another way was an invasion of privacy. he just had in his mind I had other guys just waiting, his logic is insane. just because a previous partner cheats on you doesn't mean the next person will.

Lliam · Answer

Nope. I've never cheated or been accused of cheating.

I did live with one particular woman for over a year. At the end, she told me that I only wanted to be with her for the sex. That was untrue, even though the sex was out of this world. I loved everything about her. But I can see how I failed to make that clear.

PaynefulPleasures · Answer

I've been in a narcissitic relationship where they reject their guilt upon you amongst other things they do to their victims

HawkPerception · Answer

Not once. I'm a pretty trustworthy guy. It helps that I'm introverted for the most part, but when I go out anywhere I let my partner know where I'm going and who I'm going with. Communication builds the foundation of trust.

Dragonpurple · Answer

My ex accused me of cheating on her quite a bit, turned out it was her doing it.

She was doing it so she got suspicious that I was, she drove all my friends away to control me. She thought that somehow even at work I could cheat on her.

I have since then often thought, that when someone accuses you, with no evidence that its likely cause they are doing it themselves or thinking about it.

msc545 · Answer

I have been in a marriage, was accused of cheating but never cheated, and there was no evidence I did, and that, along with the fact that she DID cheat, led to a divorce. I was and still am glad to be rid of that mentally ill woman.

RedSauce · Answer

Oh yeah, a few times. I dared to be alone with a woman, when my partner found out she lost her shit; according to her I must’ve been cheating. Not like I was trying to hide it, I was just out seeing a friend and considering I am not a child I assumed that I didn’t need to detail my day to my partner; she didn’t like that as my counter argument although it did work

pleasestopthis · Answer

Yes, and he was a cheater himself! that's why he didn't trust me, he thought I was just as filthy as him

Drooogie4 · Answer

Yes. I was accused routinely because I'd be nice to people in public.  And guess who was the cheater in the end? Not me.

worldscolide · Answer

My ex accused me all the time. She literally restricted me from speaking to anyone of the opposite sex, including family members.

Mangospacho · Answer

I was accused of cheating but it was with someone who was way out of my league and I was so shocked that someone would think she would hook up with me that I was honored and forgot that I was supposed to be offended.

007kingifrit · Answer

so i had a girlfriend in college get angry cuz she thought i was lying about another girl i had slept with. so i had to be like "no i swear i did sleep with her" a fun uno reverse of the problem

SuccessfulHornDog · Answer

I had one girlfriend that was paranoid and would get nervous that i cheated when she was high but she would eventually calm down and realize that I never cheated

Likes2drive · Answer

Yeah my ex-wife used to accuse me of it once in a while because I used to get home late from work often, turned out she was probably feeling guilty because she was cheating on me

admles · Answer

Yep, an ex did it. She was the one cheating, however.

exitseven · Answer

I have been married for 25 years and so far so good.

scarlett96 · Answer

Yes and with no evidence against me, turns out his nasty ass was tho lol very toxic mess

Kas19 · Answer

Not really but my ex cried because I hugged a black man.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Been in a relationship, never cheated, never been accused of cheating.

lovedejj_xo · Answer

Yes and he was insecure as fuck. Whenever I’d choose to go to the gym at night he’d get mad at me and say it’s weird...

Joshua0213 · Answer

No never have been in 5 years cause we trust each other

Daphne_93 · Answer

I been accused I ended the relationship. Their basic call me Slut without saying it.

karaspara · Answer

I’ve been incorrectly accused yes

ManHater · Answer

Women are like bitches you use them and throw them out same when it goes when you have kids with them.

legalboxers · Answer

the last dumpster fire I was in...

monkeynutts · Answer

Nope I always dipped my cock in it.

NathanDavis · Answer

luckily, no

Anonymous · Answer

No, it was just.

Massageman · Answer

No, I haven't.

Iron_Man · Answer

No I have not

grega239 · Answer

Several times

Have you ever been unjustly accused of cheating on your partner/spouse?

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Did you ever get falsely accused of cheating?

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