Boyfriend still won't change mind about letting me get a cat what can I do?

[Anonymous]

So, my boyfriend is a dog person and I'm a cat person, and when he asked me to move in with him (he owns a house), he said he won't have cats ever, because he doesn't like them, and I agreed, on the condition that when his dog passes, he doesn't get another one. He said could never replace his dog with another after she died, so he agreed.

Fast forward four years later and I REALLY want to get a cat, this longing will not go away but no matter how much I ask, beg, plead, insist, demand, supplicate, he won't budge, he doesn't understand how much this means to me.

I told him if he wanted to make me happy he would let me get a cat, and he said if I Wanted to make him happy I wouldn't make him get one, which is sooooo unfair!

I'm at my wit's end, what do I do?

[SteveSmith1985]

Sorry... but... there's nothing you can do. He was perfectly clear. You agreed. If he hasn't changed his mind. You need to accept it. He is not being unfair. Your mistake was agreeing to never get a cat. Sorry... but you haven't got a case here. 🙂

[caring__1]

You knew the conditions of living there before you moved in. Now you want to change the rules. What if he says the utility bills are too high, so no heating or A/C will be used in the house? Would you just accept that? What if he agreed to having kids or agreed there would be no kids, would you be willing to accept a change in that agreement? Are there other changes he could make that you wouldn't accept? Never get into a relationship thinking the other will change. What you see is what you get. If you don't like what you see, pass on the opportunity. No matter what you've been taught, males are not lumps of clay eager to be molded by females.

[xHoneyxBeex]

He owns this house so if he doesn't want a cat in his home, that's his right (which you agreed to when you initially moved in). So it sounds like you have two options, either move out into your own home or let it go.

[yucychan]

Don't get a cat.
If you want a cat so badly, then move out. Get a cat when you have your own quarters.

[God_of_Thunder]

The way I see it; you have two choices.

1) Break up with him, and get a cat

2) Stay with him, and don't get a cat

I personally feel like he's being unreasonably inflexible, but he did warn you ahead of time that he would never want a cat. You just have to decide which is more important to you.

[FilmGuy93]

How is it unfair that he didn't budge when you tried to emotionally manipulate and gaslight him into getting a cat? It's not that he doesn't understand how much it means to you, it's that not owning a cat is something he insists on. He told you he didn't want cat when you moved in and that it was a condition for living with him. Either respect his choice or move out.

[ToastyOats]

Get an outside cat, from a shelter if you have too. Fixed of course. Feed it outside. He may never let it inside but you can have your "stray" come around during patio time and I guaranteed it will grow on him. by the way litter boxes are gross and I would never have one in my home, and scratched up furniture I worked hard for? No Beauno! Probably, 4 years? You should just have a kid but the "stray might keep your relationship together for a few more years. But thta litterbox is a redline baby.

[admles]

He told you before you moved in, and you agreed.
It's not "unfair", it's his house. You sound like a whiney brat.

Grow up.

You have two choices - accept not having a cat, or move out.

[Wiredone]

You agreed to his terms when you moved into his house. If you really wanted a cat you shouldn't have moved in together. I think you are fighting a losing battle

[MTC29]

That sort of logic should be banned from the site [sarcasm of course].

[johnsmithjs]

If you really want a cat then learn how to inculcate him into your way of thinking or move out and get a cat.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I think he should allow you to have a Cat, after all, you gave him a chance to change his mind but he didn't so maybe you need to think about this whole relationship over

[RHK36]

Either respect what was agreed upon or get a new boyfriend. Either way you sound like a brat lol, good luck to him.

[Anonymous]

Well, it is HIS house...

to be honest, if this is what you can’t agree on, I can imagine how marriage would go lmao. You two don’t mesh well...

[This_is_my_username]

Break up with him. Lol. Jk jk.

[Pterodon]

It won’t change so you have a decision

[SpaceGalaxy]

Dump his F*ckin ass and get a cat