We have a baby together and we live together..
He has left America to come to live with me in Italy 2 years and a half ago, but he still doesn’t speak any italian and hasn’t found a job. I’ve been using my savings of a lifetime, but lately I’ve been pressing him to try to learn some Italian with online videos and to look for a job, but he takes ages and always uses excuses like “I can’t learn from videos or books” and “I can’t go looking for jobs alone because I don’t speak Italian”.
At home I cook so we agreed he would do the dishes, but he continuously leaves them there for a day or two, until I can’t even wash vegetables or fruit in the sink and I have to do it in the bathroom.
At that point I tell him and he takes it as nagging, I tell him to please do the online lesson and he takes it as nagging, I tell him to look for a job and still I’m nagging, so he gets mad and sometimes he’s rude, yelling that I always nag and tells me to shut up or “shut my whore mouth” and when he calms down he asks for sorry. Then says he will do the dishes every day from now on, but then doesn’t keep his word. So I have once again to tell him and like that the circle restarts.
When we’re not fighting he’s nice to me, loving and sweet, but I’m getting very sick of this procrastinating about everything and me having to be like a mom to him, so I have to hear all those rude things because “I nag too much”.
I make his coffee every day, even put sugar, milk and mix it for him, I cut his pizza and whatever he needs from the fridge I always stand up to bring it to him. I really don’t understand!
Sometimes when I’m desperate and I don’t wanna fight I even wash things myself before cooking for everybody, but I don’t feel it fair and it’s making me very resentful.
I am not perfect either, but at least I always do my part.
I also admit that when he offends me first I offend him back, I don’t just take it, even though I know it won’t help the situation.
Please someone give me some advice!
He has left America to come to live with me in Italy 2 years and a half ago, but he still doesn’t speak any italian and hasn’t found a job. I’ve been using my savings of a lifetime, but lately I’ve been pressing him to try to learn some Italian with online videos and to look for a job, but he takes ages and always uses excuses like “I can’t learn from videos or books” and “I can’t go looking for jobs alone because I don’t speak Italian”.
At home I cook so we agreed he would do the dishes, but he continuously leaves them there for a day or two, until I can’t even wash vegetables or fruit in the sink and I have to do it in the bathroom.
At that point I tell him and he takes it as nagging, I tell him to please do the online lesson and he takes it as nagging, I tell him to look for a job and still I’m nagging, so he gets mad and sometimes he’s rude, yelling that I always nag and tells me to shut up or “shut my whore mouth” and when he calms down he asks for sorry. Then says he will do the dishes every day from now on, but then doesn’t keep his word. So I have once again to tell him and like that the circle restarts.
When we’re not fighting he’s nice to me, loving and sweet, but I’m getting very sick of this procrastinating about everything and me having to be like a mom to him, so I have to hear all those rude things because “I nag too much”.
I make his coffee every day, even put sugar, milk and mix it for him, I cut his pizza and whatever he needs from the fridge I always stand up to bring it to him. I really don’t understand!
Sometimes when I’m desperate and I don’t wanna fight I even wash things myself before cooking for everybody, but I don’t feel it fair and it’s making me very resentful.
I am not perfect either, but at least I always do my part.
I also admit that when he offends me first I offend him back, I don’t just take it, even though I know it won’t help the situation.
Please someone give me some advice!
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