I cheated on my boyfriend and I can’t ever tell him. Is this okay if it was only one time?

Question

It was only one time and a horrible accident. I regret is so much. My boyfriend is so sweet, handsome and kind. He didn’t deserve it and I feel so bad sometimes. He has the most gorgeous green eyes and I tell him all the time that I wouldn’t ever make them cry or do anything to hurt him. It would be backstabbing and hypocritical of me to tell him the truth of what I did. I can’t tell him. It was just once and a mistake that won’t ever happen again. He is so sweet and caring of me. I can’t lose him.

rienna888 · Accepted Answer

Umm, only if you'll never do it again, don't tell him unless you want to lose him and cause him to have many trust issues. What was the reason why you cheated?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Don't tell him just don't ever do it again

aWes0MeNeSs · Answer

I believe you should come clean about it. Personally, if I were in his shoes, I'd want to know, even if it hurt. A harsh truth is better than a nice lie, or never knowing.

Also, it would not be backstabbing or hypocritical to tell him. You already backstabbed him by cheating. Like another comment said, now you're in damage control.

It's best to take full responsibility and admit that what you did is wrong. No excuses, no making yourself out to be the victim or having a pity party, just owning up to it and promising it will never happen again (and keeping this promise). You will need to take steps to work on your self control. Let him know you plan to do this.

Your relationship may end because of this, but it is better to be honest and not hide it, as he deserves to know. Take this as a lesson learned and actually LEARN from it. Do not say it wasn't your fault or try to put the blame on anyone else (as I saw one of your replies to one of the answers here where you stated it wasn't your fault). If you don't take this seriously and learn from it, you will never stop doing it.

SecretsofKB · Answer

Yeah, he didn't deserve what you did to him, and he also doesn't deserve for you to not tell him.

Tell him what happened. He deserves to know, and he deserves to have the right to choose if he wants to stay with you (which may happen).

If you don't tell him, you'll regret it the rest of your life. If you do tell him and he stays with you, you'll know he loves you and you won't regret that. Telling him is your only option out of this.

coachTanthony · Answer

You should leave him he deserves better. Loyalty is everything.  ~Coach T Anthony @thedatecoach IG

Citizenkirk · Answer

I wouldn't suggest that the number of transgressions in this relationship would determine whether it's okay or not, because if you believe that it would hurt your partner to know this, and it's obviously hurting you to know that this happened, than back to place and the health of your relationship with this other person are probably the most relevant factors and determining whether or not to share this information with your partner, and what to tell him about how this situation has affected you, and how it might affect him in the long term.
There doesn't appear to be any malice or resentment involved here because you seem genuinely worried about how this news might make him feel, and if you're reluctant to tell him out of fear of hurting him emotionally, it says that you care enough about him to make his feelings about the situation of priority for you, but does not invalidate the possibility that this time in your life may not be the perfect time for you to commit to a lifelong relationship with your perfect man.
Sometimes people do things they regret as the means of sabotaging the relationship on some subconscious level, because deep down inside, maybe they know something about the relationship or about themselves, that would tell them something they really don't want to hear or believe, which is that no matter how much you love a person, there may be other factors involved in your life that just will not accommodate that kind of relationship at this stage of your life.
Maybe he is a perfect man for you, maybe he's not, but this may, or may not, be the right time for this man to be in your life.
If you see a lifelong commitment with him, then your relationship will not survive keeping a secret like that indefinitely, because it doesn't become any easier to forget with time, it becomes harder, and the stronger a connection between you and him grows, the greater the intensity will grow of any feelings of guilt you carry around with you as a result of this one indiscretion, and the heartbreak you are afraid of causing him now, will inevitably become a self-fulfilling prophecy as that sense of guilt and remorse grows stronger with time, stronger and harder to reconcile in your relationship later in life💔

Anonymous · Answer

You are just trying to justify for yourself avoiding doing the right thing, because it is difficult to do. I think you are mainly avoiding telling him because you are afraid of losing him, which is selfish reason not to tell him.

But yes, you are right that it will most likely hurt him.

That doesn't mean that not telling him will be better. It may hurt him a lot more if you keep it a secret. And keeping it a secret will probably hurt you a lot too.

The truth almost always comes out eventually anyway. And if everything is going fine, and you guys get more serious, and it suddenly comes out much later, it may hurt both of you a lot more.

Look, we're all human, and humans sometimes make terrible mistakes. He has a right to leave you for cheating on him. But he also has a right to forgive you.

But right now, you are robbing him of the choice to do either of those things. Ultimately, if he can forgive you, it will make your relationship stronger. But he can't forgive a crime he knows nothing about.

You also made a mistake in promising him you would never hurt him or make him cry. That's not realistic, unfortunately. So you made two mistakes, actually. You messed up.

If you want to tell him in a way that's going to be least painful, then do something nice for him (that's non-sexual) before you tell him. Like, cook his favorite meal for a brunch, and then go for a walk afterward to let the food settle. Then towards the end of the walk, you tell him. He may lose his appetite after you tell him, so with a good meal, at least he won't go hungry. And the walk builds endorphins, which makes it easier to deal with stress. Also, if you take the walk on a bright sunny day, the sunlight will help ward off the depression. And the fresh air brings more clarity of thought.

Before the meal, give him a clue that you want to go on a walk because something is bothering you, but don't tell him enough to worry him so much he can't enjoy it.

After you confess, even if he forgives you, he may lose sexual interest in you for a while. Try to prepare yourself for that, and accept it as part of the healing process. On the other hand, it's also possible that his interest may not decrease, and he may feel that intimacy will make him feel better. Everyone heals differently.

And of course, there are no promises he will forgive you or stay with you. But it is better to end a relationship in honesty, then to continue a relationship under the veil of deceit.

Anonymous · Answer

I know the majority is saying tell him, but don't.

Look, those people are putting themselves in his place - if their partner cheated, they'd want to know.

But don't tell him.

Women often nuke their own relationship because they are addicted to drama, or secretly want to break up, or some other reason. But you can't nuke a relationship and put it back together again. The drama queens, the ones who lob grenades, often have regret after the fact, lying there amidst the rubble and realising they are now single and he is never coming back.

Don't tell him.

If it was a once off and you're sure it will never happen again, do two things. Get an STI test and a pregnancy test. And never tell him.

I'd say the same to a guy who (for reasons) went with a hooker or something. If it was a one off, and you're horribly upset with yourself and you know it will never happen again... don't tell.

Forgive yourself - you're the only one who can. And don't tell. Because at that point you're just punishing both of you, needlessly.

Don't tell.

And if you are looking for a silver lining here - there's two. First, people in your position who have slipped and fallen are a lot more careful in the future. You won't put yourself in positions where you're likely to be tempted. If drink played a factor, you'll never get drunk alone with a male friend again. If drugs played a factor, you may give up drink all together.

And second - your boyfriend/husband may slip up in the future. And maybe he won't have had this advice - and maybe he will just tell you, or maybe you'll just accidentally find out.

If you have forgiven yourself and chosen not to tell him, you'll find it is a lot easier to recognise the flawed human in front of you, telling you it was a one off mistake and he'll never do it again.

But if you had told him, and he slips... part of you will never be able to let go of the idea that he did it out of revenge, and to punish you, and to make things equal or even between you. You will never fully be able to think of his slip as a once off accident.

So - make sure he never finds out, forgive yourself, get the two tests, and learn how to forgive people who slip.

Good luck, and I hope you to listen to the minority in this case.

zeitgeist057 · Answer

I also cheated on a girlfriend, and I knew that if I told her, then our relationship would be over. I loved her so much and didn't want our relationship to end.

But on the other hand, every day of keeping the secret from her was a poison inside me. I only want a relationship where I can be honest and where my girlfriend knows me and what is in my heart. I want to be able to share my thoughts and feelings with her, to be intimate.

I realized that I had an impossible situation. I couldn't have intimacy with someone who I was lying to. So I told her, and we broke up. I still love her and miss her to this day, but I couldn't have the relationship I wanted to have with her.

You have a choice. You can keep this boyfriend, but you will never be able to truly be close to him with the lie between you creating distance. So it is a shadow of what true love and a true relationship should be. There is a chance he will forgive you if you tell him, but that is up to him. And it's up to you what kind of relationship you want to have.

Miristheiss · Answer

Who cares if it was only "one time"
He 100% DESERVES to know. You may give him a sexually transmitted disease. He needs to know that you are capable of this and that you are selfish enough to betray him in the most intimate way whenever you get the urge. He needs to know if you are the marrying kind or not. He needs to know because this may be a deal breaker issue and he will want to leave and find a faithful woman. If this is a hard deal breaker then every moment you pretend to be the faithful girlfriend is just a lie. Let's say he finds out one year from now and breaks up then... every moment from now to then to him will have just been a lie... you will have tricked him into staying with you by lying to him.

If you are truly repentant and remorseful then tell him and let the chips fall where they may.

You selfishly chose to betray him because you felt like it and there was an opportunity... now you are talking of hiding it and lying. Why? Because he may break up over it. You can't have that... so you are willing to lie.

Step outside of yourself for a moment and look at yourself with new eyes. Do you see what a selfish person you are? Until you change that and transform into a giving, selfless person... you are bad news for anyone to ever date. You are incapable of being a good girlfriend, wife, mother. You are too selfish.

Anonymous · Answer

"It was only one time" That's okay. He had sex with your little sister but they only fucked once.

". . . and a horrible accident." How did the guy's dick accidentally end up in your pussy?

"I regret is so much." You should, but regretting it after it happened is not a substitute for not doing it in the first place.

"He didn’t deserve it and I feel so bad sometimes." And you feel okay about it the rest of the time?

"He has the most gorgeous green eyes and I tell him all the time that I wouldn’t ever make them cry or do anything to hurt him." Most cheaters are also liars.

"It would be backstabbing and hypocritical of me to tell him the truth of what I did." It would also cause him to leave you and you don't want that; THAT is the reason you don't tell him.

"I can’t tell him." Actually, you CAN. You just choose not to do that.

"It was just once" So, if I'm horny and I ask you for a BJ, and you agree, it's okay because it's only once? But if you did it TWICE. . . now THAT would be bad!

"and a mistake that won’t ever happen again." I doubt you will have much more of a chance to cheat on him again.

"He is so sweet and caring of me. I can’t lose him." You can and you will. Very soon.

Tiffany_Taylor_Made · Answer

Cheating on your boyfriend once is more than enough times to break his trust. Relationships are healthiest when both parties trust each other. I am also not convinced that your infidelity was a "mistake" or "accident." Mistakes or accidents are events that people cause beyond their control, consent, or intentions. When a person cheats, he or she makes the direct choice to do so, which is fully within his or her control, consent, and/or intentions. Therefore, you can't claim that it was an accident. I recommend accepting responsibility. Personally, I wouldn't even recommend that you and your boyfriend get back together. If he is truly very sweet, handsome, and kind as you said, then he deserves a woman that would respect and love his traits, and remain loyal to him. If you don't mind me asking, why did you cheat on him? Was he bad in bed? Within my experiences, that's usually the main reason women cheat on sweet and kind guys. Regardless, I recommend that you find someone that can fill the void regarding the reason you cheated and learn how to remain loyal to good men. Thus, to answer the question, I recommend that you take responsibility for what you did, tell him that you cheated, break up, and allow him to find the loyal woman that he deserves.

Screenwriter · Answer

Somethings are best kept to yourself. Total honesty is foolish. You young adults, do you tell your parents everything you do? Of course you don't.

This person has been extremely careless. We all have to admit that. She needs to examine WHY she did this. Was it because of a fight she had with her boyfriend, was she too drunk? If either of those scenarios ring true, you need to speak to someone who it IS safe to tell about this transgression: a therapist.

You need to work out with an objective person why you put yourself in a situation that could ruin your current life with a partner you clearly love. Have you never had such a positive relationship and on some level want to ruin it? That's called self-sabotage.

If you are doing something like that, you need to learn why to stop it. If you got drunk and fell in bed with something, then you might have a drinking problem... that is masking some OTHER problems you also might have. A professional will dig down through the clutter to clear this up with you.

Most of these kinds of issues can be solved with thirteen to 20 sessions. Get that help. Don't discuss this with your kind boyfriend and break his heart. Carry the burden yourself and take it to the grave with you.

Finchie40 · Answer

Poor guy , the thing is you don’t love and value him cuz if you did you wouldn’t of cheated on him period , The thing is you are a selfish person and honestly you don’t deserve to be with someone like him , by you telling him the truth is going to shatter him and you are more than likely going to lose him , cheating is one of the worse things someone can do to someone , so word of advice just end it with him and let him move on and find someone that wouldn’t cheat on him , if you love him then love him enough to let him go so he can find true love , just because you think you love him , you honestly do not , If you don’t tell him the truth all you are going to do is live a lie and have guilt eating you alive , You will never be able to look at him the same again cuz you know deep inside you cheated on him , you basically dug your own grave , but look at it this as a learning experience , maybe the next guy you latch onto you will stop yourself from cheating , but that’s something you have to choose , but for your current boyfriend you are best to let him go , cuz by keeping him just proves you are a selfish person that only cares about themselves , if you can’t remove selfishness for someone then you don’t know what it means to be in a relationship

backblueblack22 · Answer

The most important question is this: WHY did you do this? If you loved and more importantly RESPECTED your boyfriend than you would of never done this.

There always going to be very attractive people out there to tempt you. It’s human nature to have that impulse run through your mind. But you made a decision to go through with it. Why? Did this guy offer you something your boyfriend hasn’t been fulfilling?

Anyway you can not have the best of both worlds. You can not have this sexual escapades with some random bad boy all the while having your “sweet and caring” boyfriend on the surface. No. Bullshit. There is zero justification.

The best thing you should do is break up with your boyfriend. Yes if you respect him than break up with him. Don’t tell him why but if he does ask then confess what you did. Tell him that he deserved better than what you did. That’s the most noble approach you can have. At least you can regain a modicum of dignity in that situation. Again it’s about RESPECT.

I have one ex girlfriend who broke up with me 7 years ago that I’m about 95 percent sure cheated on me a week or two before she dropped the axe (with a guy she worked with). We were already on the rocks and think she used her “feelings” to justify that bullshit. I definitely had my faults in that relationship. I did flirt with other girls but I never crossed the line. I had several opportunities to as well but I did the right thing.

However she never admitted it to me because I didn’t ask. I’m not sure how I would of took it if she did confess it. But again it was “don’t ask don’t tell” scenario.

Anonymous · Answer

Oh shit, oh boy! Well you got scenarios to play with one you tell him and his green eyes will turn gray from all of the crying and then he will kick your ass to the curb but you will cut the cord sooner rather than later or the more likely option that most people do is play the numbers that sometime in the future it could be tomorrow it could be a hundred years from now but somehow the truth Rises same thing will happen he'll kick your ass to the curb but you will have no control no say of any sort of when the truth comes out at least when you tell the truth you're ready for the consequences are about to come with concealing the truth you never know so because you were screwing around either you're going to get screwed or you going to get screwed I don't know what to tell you it's a tough decision and either decision I don't blame you it's either sooner or later you are going to pay the Piper lesson in all this keep it in your pants keep the pussy tight can you do that for me can you? I can also say start praying to Jesus but I think we're past that point anyway but it's never a bad idea to start praying. Oh yeah that picture is a reason why we cannot have nice things you remember that when you can no longer have nice things you remember this moment

Anonymous · Answer

Tell him the truth. You simply want to make it easy for yourself by not confessing to what you did so you don't have to deal with the ACTUAL consequences, whatever they may be. This isn't about not hurting him....you've already done that.

Your time to make good life choices about this relationship ended when you cheated. You say he is nice and kind, so he gave you no reason to do what you did, and you did it anyway. If you are truly actually remorseful, sit him down and explain what you did and let the chips fall where they may. Secrets have a nasty way of coming back to bite you, so just because you don't tell, doesn't mean it won't come out and you may find yourself worse off then, then had you have told him in the first place. I hope you do the right thing and tell him. He deserves the truth from someone he should be able to trust.

Jazquee · Answer

It will eat away at your soul if you don't I'm affraid.
If u truly love him you should tell him. The guilt will make you act differently. (Unless you have no soul... which I can tell you do because of not only your question but how you worded it )
What happened? Were you drunk? Does he know guy?
Think of it from his end... wouldn't you rather hear it from him... than someone else? I'm sorry this happened... but for every action there is a reaction... sometimes cheating can be worked out.. it would take a lot of work from both sides, but sometimes.. good luck

ARealHonestHuman · Answer

Its not okay anymore. You broke his trust and loyalty. Thats the sad truth you're gonna have to learn lady. Plus the bad thing with that is people see you differently, even his family will. Its best you end it, change yourself before you start dating and then tell yourself. Is it worth it to cheat because you wanted to feel some satisfaction or is it worth it being grateful and being appreciative that you have someone to love you even in your time alone. you're even lucky to be in a relationship now. and yes i did compare you to us who are single.

bobalife · Answer

No, cheating is n e v e r okay at all even if it was just once.

If you truly love your boyfriend, then what do you think will hurt him more? Cheating and hiding for him to find out otherwise or cheating and being honest as soon as possible? If you really love someone, you have to respect him enough to be honest and take it as a consequence to be upfront and be a better partner. If you decide to hide and lie, you're only going to be the cause of hurting him long-term and be scar like most who have been cheated on. You should try to be the 1% who actually wanna make it better. I know it is scary, but it is the right thing to do. Put yourself in his shoes if he cheated on you with someone else. A healthy, good relationship is based on honesty even with uncomfortable conversations.

Pasiton5 · Answer

Once you excusea lie or deceive then it becomes rest the next time and the next, and there will be because it's like some one addicted to drugs or any habit, they feel guilty after the fact saying and feeling as you do now after the fact, but what made you home in to your weakness surely will happen again, telling him being honest will allow him to decide if he wants to continue with you seek counselling and move on, you keep it from him what's to deter you from repeating what you done or worse, the truth will set you free, he just might also, always best to be honest

ColoradoKid · Answer

You need to tell him. I hope that he has not asked you about this and you lied too. Its devastating to be cheated on even though we are men. It's just as devastating to women to I am sure. Any way its better to just leave someone if you want to try something new. I would not have been as upset if my late wife had left me instead of cheating on me. Oh and yes I asked and she lied. I loved her so much even though she hurt me so much I was willing to try and work things out. She was the only woman who actually wanted me back. I have a felling that she was not lying. I hope that your relationship is strong enough to survive this and you have learned not to literally fuck around.

Lorewolf447 · Answer

It's still backstabbing and hypocritical of you if you don't tell him. A relationship keeping this secret and lying to him will only damage your relationship worst in the long run. Eventually the truth will come out someway and somehow. Not only that your integrity as a person, much less his girlfriend, is not worth anything if you keep it a secret. Even if it means he ends the relationship you need to tell your boyfriend. He has a right to know and make an informed decision and you owe it to yourself to be a better person than most people out there and not sink any lower than you already have.

The relationship at least may be salvaged by telling the truth. If you don't and he finds out, and trust me he will eventually, the damage most likely will be irreversible

DJB72 · Answer

It'll be infinitely worse if he finds out from someone else.

You say it was an "accident". I've never found sex was "accidental". At some point you decided to kiss another man. Then you decided to take off your clothes. Then you decided to let him get inside you. It may have been a mistake, but it wasn't an accident.

I'm not judging, just stating reality.

I believe you love your boyfriend. Anyone can make a series of mistakes. But premeditated or not, you cheated and its nearly impossible to hide that forever. It will hurt both of you to have him find out from someone else. If you tell him then yes, he may break up with you. He may not. The simple fact is that nothing happens in a vacuum. There must have been a series of events that allowed you to be able to cheat. If you're honest with yourself and him you can work together to make sure it never happens again.

SlightlyEccentric · Answer

Horrible accident? Did you trip, fall and land on his dick then he just happened to have some sticky substance on his dick that prevented you from getting off? Like that kind of horrible accident?

No lady, you made a blatant choice to cheat. It wasn't a "horrible accident." People like you disgust me to my core.

IveGotNoName · Answer

"It would be backstabbing and hypocritical of me to tell him the truth of what I did."

No no sweetie, you're getting this all wrong. "Backstabbing and hypocritical" was when you cheated on him in the first place. Your morals are already out the window, the least you can do is come clean to your boyfriend. He deserves to know what kind of person he is keeping in his life. Cheating is never an accident.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

The problem with cheating is that it’s rarely a one off.

it’s invariably, well it’s not really cheating if I don’t have sex this time.

people start making reasons to justify it.

You really need to tell him, you also need to get a sex health check done.

even if you wore a condone, you can catch various STD’s.

Thats always a give away one person in a relationship ship is cheating when the other gets an unexpected STD.

one thing you really need to talk to yourself about, is exactly how you came to cheat.

Unless you can understand that, you run the risk of cheating in any other relationship.

Yes you could sit on it and not tell him, however these things tend to come back and haunt people, such as the other guy telling a friend etc, posting on social media etc, then a friend of your boyfriend knowing a friend of this guy etc.

You really have to sit down and talk it through, be honest though.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

You *already* backstabbed him. Now you're just in "damage control".

If you really want to have even a chance of saving your relationship, you've got to be honest with him about what you did, and honest with yourself about WHY you did it (hint: it's your fault)

kambo_trick3y · Answer

What'd ya do, tripped and fell on a guy's dick or something? Don't you hate it when that happens?

In any case, am I the only one who gets the feeling that this is a troll question? This can't be real, no one can be this stupid and have this much level of self denial right?

AD240pCharlie · Answer

Let me put it this way: It will be a lot easier for him to handle if you tell him yourself than by him finding out some other way. A relationship where one person cheated on the other CAN be fixed with hard work and effort as long as both are willing to give it a proper try, but if you try to hide it from him then there's no coming back from that.
The problem with cheating isn't that you had sex with someone else, it's the betrayal of trust and dishonesty. You already failed the first one but you're still able to rectify the second.

Keyboardkat · Answer

If he will never find out, and if it really was a one-time incident, then for heaven's sake don't tell him! What would be the purpose of telling him? They say that confession is good for the soul, but here it would be at the cost of hurting him terribly for no good reason. Plus it would ruin your relationship with him, perhaps forever! DON'T GO THERE! There are certain secrets in life that one must take to their grave! This is one of them. Don't confess because you feel guilty. You might feel better but he sure won't. Why would you want to do that? This was a terrible mistake, and it will never happen again. If you really mean that, then let it go! Time will heal the guilt and the shame you feel.

Anonymous · Answer

Tell him. Cheating is not a mistake, it is a decision. I remember a story a friend of mine once told me. Her cousin had cheated on her boyfriend and when her mother found out about it she was livid. The daughter had the same reasoning as you “it was a mistake, an accident”. You wanna know what her mother replied with? This: “ An accident? Why? Did you trip and fall on his dick? No? Well than it is not an accident but a decision.”

You are just afraid you are going to lose him. You are being selfish. Just tell the poor guy and if he wants to leave you he has every right to do so. You have made your bed, now lie in it.

ohshee · Answer

Okay so that was a moment in time you said you'll never do it again now let's move to the next moment do not tell him Let It Go. I feel your pain today make sure never happens again and Let It Go and prove to him and to yourself how much you love him I never talk about it again you're not going to gain anything by telling him you going to lose you not going to gain anything from telling all of us I'm pretty sure with all your answers you're going to get you're going to lose LOL sorry about that just remember one thing if he was to cheat on you tomorrow one time only one time you cannot say one word about it you can that bitch you cannot move do not throw a fit you owe him that

scentoflavender · Answer

You're not seeking advice. You're seeking validation to do what you want to do. Please sit down and have a conversation with yourself, so you can understand these issues

pleasestopthis · Answer

I tell him all the time that I wouldn’t ever make them cry or do anything to hurt him.

This is why I think words are BS. You trust people's actions instead. I don't believe it's an accident when people cheat, unless you slipped and fell onto this guy's D.

Zang101 · Answer

If you truly care about him, you should 100% honest about it. A key to any relationship is to be able to communicate honesly and respecfully, and man-up to your own mistakes. Sit him down alone and ease into the reveal to soften the blow. Just be prepared for anger and other unpredictable emotions.

A few best/worst scenarios I can see happening in a situation like this:

You don't tell him:
Best: He never finds out and you live with the guilt internally.
Worst: He finds out via gossip and breaks up with you, never speaks to you again.

You do tell him:
Best: He loves you enough to move past it, and you learn from the mistake and it never happens again.
Worst: He breaks up with you, but you got it off your chest and at leaat attempted to right your wrong.

JesseJayNeak · Answer

If you don't tell him, he'll find out either way. And also, if you truly loved him you wouldn't have cheated on him in the first place

Anonymous · Answer

The fact you are so sure you won’t do It again tells me you actually will do it again.
i mean, you did it once, and if you are telling the truth it doesn’t sound like it was your intention. So maybe one day it won’t be your “intention” again.
This is the mistake people do when they admit to their partner they cheated. They act like they would never do it again. But you can’t guarantee such a statement, just like you failed to live to your original commitment of faithfulness. What makes you sure you’d like to your second commitment of it.
so if you do tell your partner absolutely do not phrase it like you did above if you want any chance they will forgive you,
the only chance of forgiveness is to show self awareness. Which signifies growth. If yo don’t show self awareness no one will forgive the cheating.
Saying it will never happen again is not self awareness. Because if you can do it once, you lack self restraint and you may lack it again.
break up with him.

Browneye57 · Answer

NEVER kiss and tell. EVER. Take it to your grave.
Telling your lover you stepped out on them, for any reason or any duration, serves no good purpose. AT ALL.

And quit making excuses for yourself - it wasn't an 'accident', you got naked and did the deed with another guy by choice. So just shut up about it and go on with your life. Hopefully you've learned a valuable lesson.

If you cannot deal with the regret and guilt, then cut him loose so he can find a more well adjusted individual to put his faith and love into.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

You are romanticizing how you feel about him to make it seem like you aren't guilty of cheating or that you actually love him. If you loved him you wouldn't cheat, and cheating is never an accident. You need to tell him, then you need to call off the relationship and move on.

Pistolpete90 · Answer

The right thing is to tell him - he has a right to decide if he wants to stay with you or not, that's a big part of the reason why this is eating you up because not only were you unfaithful but you're being dishonest. It has to be his choice about whether or not he forgives you.

Anonymous · Answer

It was an accident? lol! REALLY? Is THAT what you tell yourself? So like, you were walking down the street one day and you tripped, and the next thing you knew you'd fallen and impaled your pussy on some other dudes dick? And you kept trying to get up and kept falling back down on it? Again and again, faster and faster, until you climaxed and he shot his load in you? Is that how your "accident" happened? Tell us so we know how to be careful lest such "accidents" happen to us.

Celtero · Answer

If you love him so much don't you think he deserves a girlfriend who isn't a cheating whore? You're being selfish because you're so afraid of losing him, you're fine with him getting the shit end of the deal and a crappy woman.  He's going to find out anyway, quit wasting his time.

hhadeshatesme · Answer

cheating is never an accident. sounds like the thing you’re worried about most is losing him after you put yourself in that situation which is just selfish. If you actually cared about him as much as you’re pretending to you wouldn’t have cheated and you wouldn’t have doubts about telling him. He definitely deserves better.

kidvid80 · Answer

clear your conscious and be upfront with him- own up to what you did, whatever happens happens, you now? what if by chance he finds out? you dont want that

designer1 · Answer

You will never stop feeling guilty if you do not tell him. It is the right thing to do. I’m sure If he cheated on you or anyone cheated on you, you’d want to know. He needs to know in order to make a decision about what he wants to do with his relationship with you. You violated his trust so it will forever change your relationship but the action of telling him won’t. You have unfortunately already done that by the action of cheating.

spartan55 · Answer

You should have thought about all that before you skanked out. Mistake? Forgetting your keys is a mistake, cheating is a choice. Now you want to double down on your stupidity and NOT tell him? Bad idea. If you truly felt bad you would own your skankhood and come clean to your boyfriend. Now, when he finds out, and he WILL find out, you just made your shitstorm a hundred times worse

JackSmy · Answer

An ACCIDENT? So some guy slipped on a wet floor, and his dick just went in? That's an accident!! drunk, and irresponsible? NOT AN ACCIDENT! He will know, because you will be acting differently. Better to just confess, and throw yourself at his mercy! For me, cheating is a DEAL-BREAKER! Unless you were drugged by someone, and it was totally against your will, it's the END!! BYE BYE!!

he-takes-a-part · Answer

If you felt confused on telling him the truth don’t forgot the same principle would be applied to you had you been at your bf’s place. Now if you dont want to know that you are being cheated then its okay don’t tell him too.  By telling him that, you are opening new channels of communication and not closing one , if you have a larger perspective to life you can understand that easily. Do Share the incident of cheating to tackle it in a proper way you could DM me that. I didn't happened randomly thats the truth and if it did went on for considerable length of time then you have enjoyed it shamelessly and somewhere your unconscious now knows that it has several avenues and like it made it happen in the past it can make it happen in the future too you are just a puppet standing to receive that. DM the story Thankyou

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

Tell him and leave him, then work on being a better human being. Your boyfriend deserves someone who will tell him the truth, and live truth with him. That person isn't you. And no, just because it was "just once" doesn't make it better - it makes you very likely to cheat again. If you really respect, love, and want to honour the good of your relationship, confess and leave him so he can be free of your betrayal.

Dazed0N0Confused · Answer

If you really loved him, you wouldn't have cheated. Fuck you & your "accidental cheating".

pleaseloveme · Answer

I wouldn't tell him. Why? So you can have a clean conscience? Thats also selfish. If he didn't find out then he doesn't need to know.  You do need to break it off. Because in your heart you know you dont love him as much or u just can't remain faithful. Because it will happen again. Even if u say it won't. He deserves a shot with someone else. Let him know that

SuhRaw · Answer

Whatever! You feeling guilty and all. If you truly feel how you say you would have never done it in the first place. You'll do it again but supposed he cheated on you too as well and haven't told you about it until you told him you cheated then what. I wouldn't want to know cause then I would lose trust so it's on you but are you ready to deal with the choice of your actions.

Mangospacho · Answer

You should only tell him when you can admit that it wasn’t just an accident and that it’s something you had control over and could’ve stopped from happening. Your boyfriend is going to see right through your excuses and if you start crying while you’re making excuses, he will get pissed off and leave you. If you admit you screwed up and that it was your mistake, he might understand.

AdithyaR · Answer

You're gonna have to tell him. If you really do care you will tell him. And he might leave you because of that but it's something you have to deal with. Actions have consequences. Just one time is a bad excuse for something like cheating cause even once is horrible enough. Tell him, if he chooses to forgive you and stay, make sure you don't break his trust. If he leaves, respect his decision and don't go after him.

DianaWest · Answer

how do you accidentally have sex with another man? he will probably find out sooner or later, whether or not you tell him.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

The fact is you clearly don't care about him or love him because you still went through with it. Being drunk doesn't excuse it. You are not taking accountability and refuse to do so because you don't want to be the bad guy. He deserves better than you.

SashaAMB · Answer

You made a mistake. You clearly see that. But you broke a promise to him to be faithful and he deserves the choice of whether to give you another chance or move on from the pain. His choice. You should tell him rather than take that from him.

otaku_owl_91 · Answer

It wouldn't be hypocritical If you told him. If you had any respect for him, you would not only admit that you cheated, but also break it off. I'm not going to bash you, but take accountability of your fuck up and leave your boyfriend to be with someone more faithful and sure of themselves. Otherwise, you'd be selfish.

Djaay · Answer

Cheating never stops , it only progresses on and on. You had a good guy giving you a chance at relations with him. You blew it. You also aren't true to him , so being at least true to your own self would be to break up and stay single so you can always mingle. After all said and done , your the one who cheated.

friendzoned4life · Answer

You cheated, you should tell him. And don't cry about it that's Just manipulating him. He will probably dump you for it and after that you should never speak to him again. The fact you cheated makes it a fact you never loved him in the first place and because you could cheat and only feell bad afterwards you should never get in a relationship again

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I fail to understand the logic of 'cheating' on someone being an accident? Did you fall on his dick?

I cheated on my boyfriend and I can’t ever tell him. Is this okay if it was only one time?

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I cheated on my boyfriend and I can’t ever tell him. Is this okay if it was only one time?

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