How do you let go of a relationship that you know is not good for you?

[Kellyk234]

I am seeing this guy and the relationship isn’t healthy for me. I put to much time and effort and he does but barley minimum but he says he loves me and I’m the most important person in his life but I need to let this go. I need time to think about myself and do things for me.

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

Sounds like everyone missed the question.

You have already made up your mind that it isn't right for you and it's time to move on. Good for you, that is the hardest part.

So far as how, it depends on a lot of things. But usually the best way is to try to explain it to him as politely and kindly as possible, let him know your reasons, but make it clear that you aren't interested in giving him another chance.

Most people will be upset but generally understand and respect your choice.

If he doesn't, block him. And if he keeps harassing you, you can always report him the police. They might start by calling the person and telling them to knock it off, which usually does the trick without any charges or anything like that.

In short, don't overcomplicate it. Just tell him what you told us and ask him to let you move on. Most people will understand, but it's a lot better to explain your decision to him than to just block him or stop responding.

After that, it's really up to him to figure things out.

[Kellyk234]

Thank you.

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

Good luck. I'm glad I could help.

Just remember that you are responsible for your own happiness and he is responsible for his.

Don't feel guilty for doing what is right for you. That is really all you can do. Anything else would just make you both miserable in the long run.

[Kellyk234]

Thanks. You are absolutely right, thank you for your words of wisdom they really helped to give me confidence for the confirtation I need to do.

[Babewithplan]

In my previous partnership I ended things in person and made it clear that I was done, but he still called and texted me, but then ghosted him anyway.

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

That isn't ghosting someone.

If you told them you were leaving and why, you didn't ghost them.

That is just setting health boundaries.

[Babewithplan]

Yeah I made it clear I was done and they persisted in contacting me contacting me, so I pretty much ignored the texts and calls.

[Pasiton5]

That is where we most of us as humans fail, instead of being honest mature responsible, we longer in relationships that we know we don't want to be in not happy and it only causes more tension friction and it's not fair to either of you but to end it walk away that's were we sale or selves to be at mercy of what others will think not wanting to look like a failure we remain longer than we should it really want to and it only makes things worse and at times fatal, but that's where we are today why we are so hard on our selves as to what others think about us shows a real flaw in what and how we are portrayed in media in movies, noon wants to admit failure or be perceived as one and in reality no one really gives a damn, if anything you friend and family are wondering what the hell took you so long to say good bye, I mean it's noticeable when your out together you eyeing your brothers girl he just meet and your wife constantly crying for no reason and your sitting at opposite ends at dinner table or you go home forgetting to take her with you or not, we need to be the adults always in the situations damn what anyone thinks and if you know it's not l who you want to be with talk about it and decide together to part as friends, instead of you bad mouthing each other to friends who really don't care to hear it

[Anonymous]

Cut off all contact with him and delete anything you have that may remind you of him.
When you catch yourself falling back, message your friends. Do something else, preferably something you enjoy.
List down your goals and all the other things you want to do, and focus all your energy (yes, even the resentment and sadness) into succeeding at that.


Picture your ideal guy— someone better than him. Meet other dudes. Think about all the time you’re wasting on this guy while your Mr. Right’s waiting to get a worse and worse deal every second you spend of yourself invested in the wrong relationship.

[aqua0101]

This relationship sounds one sided. He's getting his needs met , however you're not. Begin to concentrate on yourself and start to fully love yourself. Think about some hobbies that you would like to do. So you can get your mind off of him. Eventually you'll be able to leave him. It won't be easy.

It sounds like you have a big heart and a giver. Find someone that sees your worth. It seems like he could be blind ; not see your worth.

However he might change. How long has this behavior been going on?

[OlderAndWiser]

Here is my personal experience with ending an unhealthy relationship:

Two Days Ago, I Closed A Chapter In My Life

and my general advice for how to move forward instead of looking back:

Breaking up: you may want to die. . . but you won't, so do yourself a favor and deal with it!

[Alyssa11]

All I’m gonna say is words mean nothing without action. Forget everything he’s said to you and focus on his actions that have put you off.


If you need to make a list about the traits that put you off, then do it. Look at it whenever you need to do you remember to move on.


If you stay nothing is going to change.

[ohshee]

Be 100% honest with yourself and since you are already confident be more confident be polite say what you have to say and walk away you can make it as tough as you want or you can make it as easy as you want that's your choice but down deep you already know what you have to do it doesn't take courage doesn't take strength it just takes you and that choice

[sapphirex20]

You have to know what you want and deserve out of a relationship and you need to truly FEELLL that you deserve and need those things! And you have to ask yourself, is this person meeting my needs and giving me what I deserve? if the answer is no then you have to realize that if you are excepting less from them then you’re letting them disrespect you an by letting them do that you’re disrespecting yourself! An you gotta love yourself, bc when you love yourself an tie all that^^ together you won’t wanna ever disrespect yourself again!

[sapphirex20]

There’s tons of people out there and you deserve better and can and will find better

[stateman]

so you want to know how you walk out of this relationship I guess, my suggestion is to tell her the reality that you are not giving the needed attention you wanted and see if he changes other wise walks out of your relation your mental peace hold much more importance than anything else.

[TessCasie]

Be a firm and stern girl
Know that loving and caring for someone doesn’t mean the person is suitable for you.

[thimmslicc]

you're gonna have to do something.
Deal with it or break it off as nicely as you can.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Sometimes whether we live with someone or they are a partner you live with it's best to throw in the towel and say that is it we need to make a new life for ourselves it's sad that no matter what we do, we can't make peace

[exitseven]

You have to rip off the band aid. You have a good reason for doing it.

[Uptowngirl88]

He does the bare minimum because you are not is ideal woman. If he was truly interested he'd work hard for you. Time to move on because he already has

[Uptowngirl88]

@Adam1978 what a man says vs what he does is the complete opposite. So I take what a man says with a grain of salt along with your comment. No man wants anything that comes easy because they are competitive in nature. I'm not saying he wants an extremely difficult women but most manly men prefer the chase and to conquer. She's no chase she's too easy

[Uptowngirl88]

@babewithplan men know what they're supposed to do but choose not to do it or do it for a specific type of woman. What in paragraph shows ,"he may love her?" Nothing in her paragraph is indicative of him loving her.

[Uptowngirl88]

@Babewithplan again what in the paragraph shows ," he seems to love her?"

[Uptowngirl88]

@babewithplan then next time don't say it.

[Uptowngirl88]

@babewithplan no it doesn't lol. You're assuming. Making an ass out of yourself. Now take your no picture having aka low self esteem self from beneath my comment.🤣 work on yourself and why you're too insecure to have a profile picture and why you're so naive. Next and blocked🤣. weirdos I swear🙄

[Anonymous]

I love myself so much to be with someone who dont appreciate my efforts and time. I would just walk away forever without any drama at all. Because I love myself enough to know when im not gettin what I deserve from a relationship.

[Sexiestjohnson]

You focus on all the reasons why it is not good for you.

[Scotte1us]

He loves you , i guess it doesn't interest you, if you love him , stay, unless you like to go out there screw one nighters and just have sex is that what you want? Sometimes you have to sacrifice if you love some one.

[Babewithplan]

It’s not love when he doesn’t treat her right

[Brebaby]

I think that is a very hard thing to do , I don't know whether to say fight or flight on that one

[sushmie]

You dont ahve to do anything. Just stay silent and when he doesn't reach out to ask you whats bothrring you then there is where you start planning for your life without that weirdo

[In_Trance]

You make a decision. You truly believe it's not right for you and move on.

[NicoleNatZZ]

start having sex with other people... go out and enjoy yourself

[jj-bnobb]

You let go slow and safely because it took you a while to determine this.

[Vivian7k]

You make a decision. You truly believe it's not right for you and move on.

[Hairylegs222]

Tell your partner it isn't working out for many reasons and move on.